The Best 35 Earlie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Earlie jokes. There are some earlie accord jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these earlie yesterday puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Earlie Jokes and Puns

Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.

I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big boobs and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".

So I did.

Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer'

Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.

Earlier today I saw 4 guys beating this kid up in an alleyway, so I decided to help.

He had no chance against the 5 of us.

Earlie joke, Earlier today I saw 4 guys beating this kid up in an alleyway, so I decided to help.

earlier today I dropped an ice cube

It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.

The earliest memory I have is going with my dad to get prescription glasses.

Life before that is a blur.


Earlier today I told my Christian friend to Have a Good Friday. He didn't catch my pun.

I'm not surprised. Jokes like this usually Pass Over his head.

Earlier today I really needed a drink to quench my thirst and apple juice wasn't really doing it for me

but OJ did it

Earlie joke, Earlier today I really needed a drink to quench my thirst and apple juice wasn't really doing it for

Earlier today I had a Titanic thought.

It was *unthinkable*.

Earlier today, a man was admitted to hospital due to 8 plastic horses found in his stomach

His condition is now stable.

Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000

Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.

Earlier today

A naked woman robbed a bank.

So far no one is able to identify her face.

You can explore earlie intelligence reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean earlie mine dad jokes. There are also earlie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Earlier today six dwarfs stole my antidepressants.

Not Happy.

Earlier today, my friend was in the kitchen and spilled hot queso all over her feet.

Guess she had Tostitos.

Earlier the Rich had cars and the poor had horses. Now the Poor have cars and the Rich breed horses

Oh how the stables have turned

A farmer is drinkin' in his barn one night...

and decides to go wake his wife. He grabs a goat and heads up to their barn loft, wakes her up, and says "Hey! This here's the pig I've been fuckin' ". She replies, "But Earlie, that there's a goat.." "I was talkin' to the goat!"

What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:

These two:

"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."

"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."

Earlie joke, What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:

Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker

It said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal!"

Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road!

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

Earlier today I saw a fish in a hospital waiting room going up to people and giving them medical advice.

I said "Oi fish, stop that, what do you think you're doing?!"

He said "Don't worry about it, it's ok... I'm the Sturgeon General".


My earliest childhood memory is going to the eye doctor when I was 8.

Life before that is a blur.

So earlier on I was asked what procrastination was.

I said I'd tell them later.

One of my earliest memories as a child was getting to meet the pope,

It was a touching experience.

Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on.

The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."

Earlier today, my co-worker told me my voice sounded like Sarah Jessica Parker,

I hate it when my voice sounds horse.

Earlier today my friend asked me how long I'v been married.

I told him 15 years but with the wind chill it feels like 30

Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.

Earlier, I was discussing about sexually transmitted diseases with my crush as a part of college assignment.

Crush: Don't worry, you have 0% chance of getting it.

Earlier this year, I told my girlfriend that I wanted to start taking pictures of pastries.

So for my birthday, she gave me a macaron lens.

My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses...

Before that, life was a blur...

Earlier today I got diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder.

It's really SAD.

The earlier we start Christmas...

the more likely Jesus will be born dangerously premature.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window.

As we played hide and seek and she said: 'you're getting warmer'.

It happens earlier every year …

It's only October, and they're already putting up Christmas videos on PornHub.

Earlier I thought I'd try to jump in the shower.

Then I realized how dangerous that could be so I just stood there.

Earlier today, my wife stopped and said you weren't even listening to me!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the earlie women jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working earlie blondes who left work early piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes