Earlie Jokes
45 earlie jokes and hilarious earlie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about earlie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Earlie Short Jokes
Short earlie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The earlie humour may include short plane jokes also.
- I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no. Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
- Justin Timberlake announces that he will be joining the war in Ukrain. Early reports suggest that he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea river
- What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.
- This morning I came early to my office And, I switched places of M's and N's on as many keyboard as I could.
Some people would say I am a monster but others would say nomster. - I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.
- How is Donald Trump like a jack-o-lantern? They are both orange, round and should be thrown out in early November.
- My grandfather developed cancer in his early twenties. He is considered to be the most evil scientist that ever lived.
- JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. interview are being held tomorrow. Come early....
....beat the crowd.
- Russia has announced early results from the election The election isn't until tomorrow, but they've already announced that Putin has won.
- I arrived early at the restaurant last night. Do you mind waiting for a bit? , the manager asked. Not at all I replied. Good, take these drinks to table 9″
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Earlie One Liners
Which earlie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with earlie? I can suggest the ones about intelligence and accord.
- Why do riot police like to get to work early? To beat the crowd.
- Because the punchline gets spoiled early. Why is this time travel joke not funny?
- I sneaked onto a beach early this morning. The coast was clear.
- Why did the riot police show up to the protest so early? To beat the crowd
- Mr and Mrs Lee unexpectedly had their baby early So they named him SUDDEN LEE
- Why did the riot police show up early to the protest? They wanted to beat the crowd.
- Why does the police officer get up early in the morning? To beat the crowds.
- Why do police get to protests early? To beat the crowd.
- Why do riot police wake up early? ...so they can beat the crowds
- Why do you fly United early in the morning? To beat the crowd.
- What's great when you're at work, and terrible when you're in bed? Getting off early
- Why do HK police go to work early? To beat the crowds.
- What do you call a Dinosaur that wakes up early in the morning. An AssCrackaDon.
- Why do riot police get to work early? To beat the crowd
- The early bird might get the worm, but The second mouse *always* gets the cheese
Quirky and Hilarious Earlie Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about earlie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make earlie pranks.
Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.
I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big b**... and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".
So I did.
Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer'
Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
Earlier today I saw 4 guys beating this kid up in an alleyway, so I decided to help.
He had no chance against the 5 of us.
earlier today I dropped an ice cube
It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.
The earliest memory I have is going with my dad to get prescription glasses.
Life before that is a blur.
Earlier today I told my Christian friend to Have a Good Friday. He didn't catch my pun.
I'm not surprised. Jokes like this usually Pass Over his head.
Earlier today I really needed a drink to quench my thirst and apple juice wasn't really doing it for me
but OJ did it
Earlier today I had a Titanic thought.
It was *unthinkable*.
Earlier today I heard Classical music coming from my wallet..
I opened it, and realised I had 3 tenners in it...
Earlier today, a man was admitted to hospital due to 8 plastic horses found in his stomach
His condition is now stable.
Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000
Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.
Earlier today
A n**... woman robbed a bank.
So far no one is able to identify her face.
Earlier today six dwarfs stole my antidepressants.
Not Happy.
Earlier today, my friend was in the kitchen and spilled hot queso all over her feet.
Guess she had Tostitos.
A farmer is drinkin' in his barn one night...
and decides to go wake his wife. He grabs a goat and heads up to their barn loft, wakes her up, and says "Hey! This here's the pig I've been f**...' ". She replies, "But Earlie, that there's a goat.." "I was talkin' to the goat!"
Earlier I had to go to the Pokemon Center
For my Koffing turned into Weezing.
Earlier the Rich had cars and the poor had horses. Now the Poor have cars and the Rich breed horses
Oh how the stables have turned
What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:
These two:
"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."
"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."
Earlier today, I knocked on the door of a fortune teller...
She asked, "Who's there?"
So I left.
Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker
It said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal!"
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road!
Earlier today I saw this dude walking out of an erectile dysfunction support group. He looked like a d**..., so I tried to fight him. But no luck...
It's almost impossible to get a rise out of those people.
When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?
The Wii hours of the morning.
Earlier today I saw a fish in a hospital waiting room going up to people and giving them medical advice.
I said "Oi fish, stop that, what do you think you're doing?!"
He said "Don't worry about it, it's ok... I'm the Sturgeon General".
My earliest childhood memory is going to the eye doctor when I was 8.
Life before that is a blur.
So earlier on I was asked what procrastination was.
I said I'd tell them later.
One of my earliest memories as a child was getting to meet the pope,
It was a touching experience.
Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on.
The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."
Earlier today my friend asked me how long I'v been married.
I told him 15 years but with the wind chill it feels like 30
Earlier today, my co-worker told me my voice sounded like Sarah Jessica Parker,
I hate it when my voice sounds horse.
Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
