The Best 76 Earl Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Earl jokes. There are some earl albert jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these earl count puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Earl Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the Native American chief who drank 50 gallons of Earl Grey?

He was found dead in the morning, drowned in his tee-pee.

What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:

These two:

"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."

"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."

too early?

Brazil knows how to throw the hottest partys!

Earl joke, too early?

I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself..

It was like staring into infinitea.

Early this morning I was sitting on the beach wondering where the sun was...

then it dawned on me


Earlier today my friend asked me how long I'v been married.

I told him 15 years but with the wind chill it feels like 30

The early bird ate all the worms...

and died from obesity.

Earl joke, The early bird ate all the worms...

Bubba and Earl

Earl walks into Bubba's barn and finds Bubba dancing naked in front of his John Deere. Earl says "Bubba what are you doin' "

Bubba says "Me and the wife haven't been doin so good in the bedroom lately and the therapist said I should do something sexy to a tractor"

Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,

chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She ain't spoke to me in over 2 months.'
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it over -women like that are hard to find.

Went early to my Tantric Sex class last night...

Was told to come later.

You can explore earl burt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean earl hugh dad jokes. There are also earl puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Early christians supported marijuana usage.

Just think about how many get stoned.

Why was Karl Marx arrested for brewing a cup of Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

What was early man's best friend?

Primates

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

Earlier today I had a Titanic thought.

It was *unthinkable*.

Earl joke, Earlier today I had a Titanic thought.

There was an early bird special at the diner

So I ordered Archaeopteryx.

Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on.

The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."

Why do no communists drink Earl Grey tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.


I just got early access to the new Injustice:

Mods among us.

It's never too early for a pickle...

...unless it's a cucumber!

Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer'

Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.

I got up early to watch the sunrise

And then it dawned on me.

Why are all early birds Catholics?

Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms.

Early to Bed and Early to Rise proves that .

The Person has no Internet Connection...;-p

The early bird might get the worm, but

The second mouse *always* gets the cheese

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

I recently found an audio bible narrated by James Earl Jones

Overall it was good, though the book of Luke seemed a bit forced

Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000

Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.

From a very early age, I used to feel like a guy trapped in a woman's body...

...then I was born.

An early prediction of George Michael's cause of death

I'm going with either a boom boom of the heart, or a jitterbug in the brain.

Bob and Earl are fishing on a boat.

and Bob says "Yunno, I think I'm gonna divorce the wife, she hasn't spoken to me in 2 months."

Earl spits his dip overboard and takes a long swig of his beer with a casual exhale. "You should really think it over...Women like that are hard to find."

What do you call an Asian guy that always shows up before he needs to?

Earl Lee

Early to bed, early to rise...

... this guy neither has WiFi nor wife.

Earlier today I really needed a drink to quench my thirst and apple juice wasn't really doing it for me

but OJ did it

When the Empire Strikes Back was being filmed, they considered getting rid of James Earl Jones and bringing in Hulk Hogan instead to be Darth Vader.

But they quickly decided not to when they realized the line "No Luke, I am your father, brother!" Was way too confusing.

Why can't early access developers ever have children?

They can never finish.

Early finish for me today so I rang the wife

and asked her if I should pick up fish and chips on the way home. She clearly still regrets letting me name the kids....

Earlier today I saw 4 guys beating this kid up in an alleyway, so I decided to help.

He had no chance against the 5 of us.

I tried stealing someone's Earl Grey once…

…but it wasn't my cup of tea.

Earlier today, my friend was in the kitchen and spilled hot queso all over her feet.

Guess she had Tostitos.

Why didn't Karl Marx drink Earl Gray?

All proper tea is theft.

Is your name Earl Grey?

...cause you're a cutea.

Earlier today, my co-worker told me my voice sounded like Sarah Jessica Parker,

I hate it when my voice sounds horse.

Earlier today, a man was admitted to hospital due to 8 plastic horses found in his stomach

His condition is now stable.

When it comes to early 2000s R&B, nothing beats Rihanna...

Except maybe Chris Brown

Redneck wisdom

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonnaΒ  divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."

Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over; women like that are hard to find."

Earlier today I told my Christian friend to Have a Good Friday. He didn't catch my pun.

I'm not surprised. Jokes like this usually Pass Over his head.

Earlier today

A naked woman robbed a bank.

So far no one is able to identify her face.

Early this morning thieves stole the toilets from all the police stations in the city.

Right now, detectives have nothing to go on.

Early onset dementia

is something I want to forget about as soon as possible.

If Popeye had a southern accent he'd be gay

His boyfriends name would be Olive Earl

Earlier the Rich had cars and the poor had horses. Now the Poor have cars and the Rich breed horses

Oh how the stables have turned

It was early in the morning and I saw a hunter riding an elk

I thought, "Hey, there's a guy who's really on top of his game."

It happens earlier every year …

It's only October, and they're already putting up Christmas videos on PornHub.

So earlier on I was asked what procrastination was.

I said I'd tell them later.

Who is always the first person to show up?

Earl Lee

Early One Morning

Woke early one morning, the earth lay cool and still.
When suddenly a tiny bird, perched on my window sill.
It sang a song so lovely, so carefree and gay.
That slowly all my troubles, began to slip away.
It sang of far off places, of laughter and of fun.
It seemed his very song, brought out the morning sun.
I pulled back the covers, and crept slowly out of bed,
and gently shut the window, and crushed his head.
I'm not a morning person

My earliest childhood memory is going to the eye doctor when I was 8.

Life before that is a blur.

Earlier today six dwarfs stole my antidepressants.

Not Happy.

Earlier today I saw a fish in a hospital waiting room going up to people and giving them medical advice.

I said "Oi fish, stop that, what do you think you're doing?!"

He said "Don't worry about it, it's ok... I'm the Sturgeon General".

Early morning. I already got one foot out of the bed.

Leprosy sucks.

One of my earliest memories as a child was getting to meet the pope,

It was a touching experience.

Early bird gets the worm? True...

... but the second mouse gets the cheese.

What do you say at an early funeral?

Good Mourning.

Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.

I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big boobs and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".

So I did.

The earliest memory I have is going with my dad to get prescription glasses.

Life before that is a blur.

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."Β 
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."Β 
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"Β 
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."Β 
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."Β 
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker

It said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal!"

Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road!

The early bird gets the worm

but the second mouse gets the cheese

earlier today I dropped an ice cube

It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.

Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic?

He drank himself into an earl grey

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

Early scientists watched the world spin for 24 hours. Then they got bored...

...and called it a day.

Earlier today I heard Classical music coming from my wallet..

I opened it, and realised I had 3 tenners in it...

A chinese baby was born before due date

His parents named him Earl Lee

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the earl walter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working earl hank piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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