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Earl Jokes

99 earl jokes and hilarious earl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about earl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Earl Short Jokes

Short earl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The earl humour may include short earns jokes also.

  1. Did you hear about the Native American chief who drank 50 gallons of Earl Grey? He was found dead in the morning, drowned in his tee-pee.
  2. I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself.. It was like staring into infinitea.
  3. Why was Karl Marx arrested for brewing a cup of Earl Grey? Because all proper tea is theft.
  4. I recently found an audio bible narrated by James Earl Jones Overall it was good, though the book of Luke seemed a bit forced
  5. What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood? 50 Shades of Earl Grey
  6. Huge spoiler for the Lion King (2019) Leaks state that James Earl Jones's character will die in the upcoming film. Didn't expect that one!
  7. If the Earl of Lemongrab had hair... ...do you think he'd use an acceptable conditioner to keep it soft?
  8. Chinese Irony There typically are a lot of Chinese tourists downtown in the Summer. I saw one boy today wearing a T-shirt that said "Facebook". Cue my Earle Bachman voice.. touche young one, touche.
  9. What do you call an earl grey that likes role play? Not-tea
  10. What did gay Picard say when he was spying on his neighbour? Earl Gray, hot!

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Earl One Liners

Which earl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with earl? I can suggest the ones about edgar allen and big ears.

  1. Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey? Because all proper tea is theft.
  2. Why didn't Karl Marx drink Earl Gray? All proper tea is theft.
  3. A chinese baby was born before due date His parents named him Earl Lee
  4. What do you call an Asian guy that always shows up before he needs to? Earl Lee
  5. Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic? He drank himself into an earl grey
  6. I tried stealing someone's Earl Grey once… …but it wasn't my cup of tea.
  7. Who is always the first person to show up? Earl Lee
  8. Why do no communists drink Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
  9. If Popeye had a southern accent he'd be gay His boyfriends name would be Olive Earl
  10. I made Earl Grey perfectly. Right on the T as they say.
  11. Is your name Earl Grey? ...cause you're a cutea.
  12. RIP Earl Llyod. The first white and gold player to appear in an NBA game.
  13. I'm good friends with Earl Grey. But I'm a lot closer to PG Tips. That's my bestea.
  14. My name is Earl... karma.
  15. TIL James Earl Jones is black... which explains why Vader was never around for his kids

Earl joke, TIL James Earl Jones is black...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about earl can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of earl puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Giggle-Inducing Earl Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about earl you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean ears jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make earl prank.

What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:

These two:
"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."
"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."

too early?

Brazil knows how to throw the hottest partys!

Early this morning I was sitting on the beach wondering where the sun was...

then it dawned on me

Earlier today my friend asked me how long I'v been married.

I told him 15 years but with the wind chill it feels like 30

The early bird ate all the worms...

and died from obesity.

Bubba and Earl

Earl walks into Bubba's barn and finds Bubba dancing n**... in front of his John Deere. Earl says "Bubba what are you doin' "
Bubba says "Me and the wife haven't been doin so good in the bedroom lately and the therapist said I should do something s**... to a tractor"

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,

chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She ain't spoke to me in over 2 months.'
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it over -women like that are hard to find.

Went early to my Tantric s**... class last night...

Was told to come later.

Early christians supported m**... usage.

Just think about how many get s**....

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

Earlier today I had a Titanic thought.

It was *unthinkable*.

There was an early bird special at the diner

So I ordered Archaeopteryx.

Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on.

The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."

I just got early access to the new Injustice:

Mods among us.

It's never too early for a pickle...

...unless it's a cucumber!

Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer'

Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.

I got up early to watch the sunrise

And then it dawned on me.

Why are all early birds Catholics?

Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms.

Early to Bed and Early to Rise proves that .

The Person has no Internet Connection...;-p

The early bird might get the worm, but

The second mouse *always* gets the cheese

Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000

Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.

From a very early age, I used to feel like a guy trapped in a woman's body...

...then I was born.

An early prediction of George Michael's cause of death

I'm going with either a boom boom of the heart, or a jitterbug in the brain.

Bob and Earl are fishing on a boat.

and Bob says "Yunno, I think I'm gonna divorce the wife, she hasn't spoken to me in 2 months."
Earl spits his dip overboard and takes a long swig of his beer with a casual exhale. "You should really think it over...Women like that are hard to find."

Early to bed, early to rise...

... this guy neither has WiFi nor wife.

Earlier today I really needed a drink to quench my thirst and apple juice wasn't really doing it for me

but OJ did it

When the Empire Strikes Back was being filmed, they considered getting rid of James Earl Jones and bringing in Hulk Hogan instead to be Darth Vader.

But they quickly decided not to when they realized the line "No Luke, I am your father, brother!" Was way too confusing.

Why can't early access developers ever have children?

They can never finish.

Early finish for me today so I rang the wife

and asked her if I should pick up fish and chips on the way home. She clearly still regrets letting me name the kids....

Earlier today I saw 4 guys beating this kid up in an alleyway, so I decided to help.

He had no chance against the 5 of us.

Earlier today, my friend was in the kitchen and spilled hot queso all over her feet.

Guess she had Tostitos.

Earlier today, my co-worker told me my voice sounded like Sarah Jessica Parker,

I hate it when my voice sounds horse.

Earlier today, a man was admitted to hospital due to 8 plastic horses found in his stomach

His condition is now stable.

When it comes to early 2000s R&B, nothing beats Rihanna...

Except maybe Chris Brown

r**... wisdom

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna  divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over; women like that are hard to find."

Earlier today I told my Christian friend to Have a Good Friday. He didn't catch my pun.

I'm not surprised. Jokes like this usually Pass Over his head.

Earlier today

A n**... woman robbed a bank.
So far no one is able to identify her face.

Early this morning thieves stole the toilets from all the police stations in the city.

Right now, detectives have nothing to go on.

Early onset dementia

is something I want to forget about as soon as possible.

Earlier the Rich had cars and the poor had horses. Now the Poor have cars and the Rich breed horses

Oh how the stables have turned

The earlier we start Christmas...

the more likely Jesus will be born dangerously p**....

Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.

So earlier on I was asked what procrastination was.

I said I'd tell them later.

Early One Morning

Woke early one morning, the earth lay cool and still.
When suddenly a tiny bird, perched on my window sill.
It sang a song so lovely, so carefree and gay.
That slowly all my troubles, began to slip away.
It sang of far off places, of laughter and of fun.
It seemed his very song, brought out the morning sun.
I pulled back the covers, and crept slowly out of bed,
and gently shut the window, and crushed his head.
I'm not a morning person

My earliest childhood memory is going to the eye doctor when I was 8.

Life before that is a blur.

Earlier today six dwarfs stole my antidepressants.

Not Happy.

Earlier today I saw a fish in a hospital waiting room going up to people and giving them medical advice.

I said "Oi fish, stop that, what do you think you're doing?!"
He said "Don't worry about it, it's ok... I'm the Sturgeon General".

Early morning. I already got one foot out of the bed.

Leprosy s**....

One of my earliest memories as a child was getting to meet the pope,

It was a touching experience.

Early bird gets the worm? True...

... but the second mouse gets the cheese.

What do you say at an early f**...?

Good Mourning.

Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.

I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big b**... and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".
So I did.

The earliest memory I have is going with my dad to get prescription glasses.

Life before that is a blur.

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go." 
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." 
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" 
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." 
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school." 
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker

It said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal!"
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road!

The early bird gets the worm

but the second mouse gets the cheese

earlier today I dropped an ice cube

It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

Early scientists watched the world spin for 24 hours. Then they got bored...

...and called it a day.

Earlier today I heard Classical music coming from my wallet..

I opened it, and realised I had 3 tenners in it...

In the early days, we had Kingdoms run by Kings.

And Empires run by Emperors.
Now we have Countries run by...

Earlier I had to go to the Pokemon Center

For my Koffing turned into Weezing.

I was going to get up early to join the queue to pay respects to the Queen. But I slept in.

Guess I'm not a mourning person.

Earlier today I saw this dude walking out of an erectile dysfunction support group. He looked like a d**..., so I tried to fight him. But no luck...

It's almost impossible to get a rise out of those people.

In the early days of pioneer life, a compass was essential. One of the more common varieties was called the "Tates" compass.

Unfortunately it was a very low quality compass. From which comes the expression: He who has a "Tates," is lost.

In the early 90's, a lonely stray dog wanted a friend and got an idea when reading an old paper...

So the dog walked into the local paper to place an advert in the social column. "I'm lonely" advised the dog "please place an ad that reads: *Woof woof woof. Woof woof. Woof woof woof woof woof woof. Woof. Woof*."
The sales consultant writes it all down before offering "I'll let you in on a secret, for the same price, I can actually add two more woofs?".
Came the reply from the dog "But - then it wouldn't make sense?"

Earlier today, I knocked on the door of a fortune teller...

She asked, "Who's there?"
So I left.

Earl joke, Earlier today, I knocked on the door of a fortune teller...

jokes about earl

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these earl jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.