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Eagle Jokes

110 eagle jokes and hilarious eagle puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about eagle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with these hilarious eagle jokes! From classic golden eagles, to war eagles, desert eagles, and even golf eagles, you'll be sure to find something funny here. Don't forget to check out the pelicans, hawks, and doves jokes, too!

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Popular Eagle Short Jokes

Short eagle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eagle humour may include short falcon jokes also.

  1. Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.
  2. I saw a huge seagull today... It was big enough to be a D-gull
    But not quite big enough to be an Eagle
  3. I've got the heart of a lion and the eye of an eagle... And now i'm banned from entering the zoo.
  4. Did you guys hear about the guy who got the skin on his face ripped apart by eagle talons? They tried to fix it with botox, but that only helps with crow's feet.
  5. My father recently passed away. I'll never forget how much I inherited.
    From him I got the eye of an eagle, the heart of a lion and so much more.
    He was the best hunter this world has ever seen.
  6. The biggest difference between the Superbowl and the Grammy's. The Eagles have won a Grammy.
  7. I saw a half lion, half eagle in the dining room at Hogwarts. Everyone was wondering how it had got in but it was obvious. It came through the Griffindor.
  8. Why would America choose the bold eagle as their national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away? Oh, right...
  9. I saw a seagull I saw a huge seagull this morning. It was big enough to be a D gull... But not quite big enough to be an eagle. One thing's for sure, it definitely wasn't a beagle.
  10. I always admired my grandfather. He had the heart of a lion and the brain of a eagle. He also had a lifetime ban from the zoo.

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Eagle One Liners

Which eagle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eagle? I can suggest the ones about bird of prey and peacock.

  1. I have the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle... ..and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 😕
  2. Why can't an eel and an eagle team up? Because it would be eel-eagle!
  3. I'm relieved the Patriots lost... No patriot I know would ever beat an eagle.
  4. What's a flying rabbit have on its back? An eagle
  5. Why do cops hate sick birds? Because they're ill eagles.
  6. Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america? Because that would be illeagle
  7. What do you call an Eagle who can't catch it's prey? *Talon*tless.
    ...Sorry.
  8. How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle? All his feathers are combed to one side
  9. Why did the cop arrest the sick bird? He was ill-eagle.
  10. Did you know that it is wrong to breed eels with eagles? It's because it is eel-eagle.
  11. What does a flying rabbit has on his back? An eagle
  12. I was arrested the other day for keeping a sick bird of prey. Turns out it was ill eagle
  13. Why did the sick eagle get deported? Because he was an illeagle.
  14. Why did the ancient Roman police arrest an Eagle? Because he was... Aquila.
  15. What did the Native American pornstar call himself? Spread Eagle

Bald Eagle Jokes

Here is a list of funny bald eagle jokes and even better bald eagle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What kind of bird doesn't need a comb? A bald eagle.
  • What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a bald eagle A life time ban from the zoo and a felony...apparently
  • I like bald eagles. They taste almost just like baby seals.
  • Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested? He was selling ill-eagle drugs.
  • What did the Cardinal cry after being attacked by a predatory bird? The Cardinal Bald Eagle
  • If you put Proactive on bald eagles Will their white heads disappear?
  • what type of bird never needs a haircut a Bald Eagle
  • Why was the freeway jam packed with bald eagles driving cars? Because this traffic is for the birds......
  • Who has been waiting the longest for Philadelphia's first NFL championship? Bald eagles
  • The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

Desert Eagle Jokes

Here is a list of funny desert eagle jokes and even better desert eagle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • One day I took my pet eagle to school... But everyone made fun of me and the school authorities took my eagle and complained my parents.
    So the next day I took my desert eagle to school.
  • It was bring your pet to school day I brought my desert eagle

Eagle Scout Jokes

Here is a list of funny eagle scout jokes and even better eagle scout puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The difference between a Life Scout and an Eagle Scout. A Life Scout is ready for anything. The Eagle Scout is ready for Murphy's Law.
  • When does a Boy Scout become an Eagle Scout When he eats a Brownie
Eagle joke, When does a Boy Scout become an Eagle Scout

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about eagle can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of eagle puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly & Ridiculous Eagle Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about eagle you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean pelican jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make eagle prank.

My diseased eagle has been banned by the government.

I suppose that makes it
an i**... ill eagle.

The Eagle- an original joke

A man is talking with an eagle.
The man asks, "Eagle, how can you catch your prey so well if you just fly over really fast?"
The eagle responds, "I don't know, I guess I just have a talon for it."

What do you call an eagle that is sick?

i**...

An eel tried to propose to an eagle...

the eel asks the eagle
"We may look different but I think I love you. Will you marry me?"
"I'm sorry but I can't" says the eagle.
"Why not?" asks the eel.
The eagle replies with "Because that would be eel-eagle"

30th Anniversary

A man decides to buy flowers for his wife for their 30th wedding anniversary. He walks in the door and finds rose petals leading to the bedroom. Curious he walks in and finds his wife spread eagle on the bed in a brand new negligee. "What's all this about?" he asks. In her sexiest voice she says, "Well, I knew you would bring home flowers like you always do. This is for the flowers."
"Don't be silly," he says, "I'm sure we have a vase for these somewhere."

What do eagles and moles have in common?

They both fly, except for the mole...

Gliding Eagles

Two eagles were gliding at a high altitude and discussing life, when a F-15 fighter jet zooms above them. It throws them off course and ruffles up their feathers.
They calm down and get back on track gliding next to each other.
The first eagle, excitedly 'Wow!! Now thats what I call speed!!'
The second eagle, calmly replies 'Trust me. You would be flying that fast too if your sphincter was on fire.'

Just trying to help.

I was walking home from work the other day and found an injured bird by the side of the road, I decided to pick it up and take it to the shelter, on the way to the shelter, the police stopped me and arrested me.
They said that what I was carrying was Ill Eagle.

Why did the police arrest the eagle with a fever?

It's i**...

Why did the eagle win the talent show?

Because he was TALONted!

So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"

The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."

Why was the sick eagle in prison?

Because she was i**....

I saw a huge seagull today...

It might have been a D-gull
But I don't think it could have been an eagle.

What's the difference between a hawk and an eagle?

All birds have specialized tail feathers called pinions. An eagle has 8 pinions, while a hawk only has 7. So you could say the difference is only a matter of a pinion.

What kind of bird is not allowed to get sick?

An ill eagle

Donald Trump has just signed ANOTHER executive order

it's about foreign birds of prey. the order states that any bird, specifically eagles, who have some sort of illness like flu will not be allowed to enter the country.
Trump has labelled them -
ILL EAGLE IMMIGRANTS

What do you call a sick eagle that just flew in from out of the country?

an ill-eagle immigrant

If the Bald Eagle is the symbol of freedom and the Dove is the symbol of peace, what bird is the symbol of love?

The s**....

When checking in for his flight, the wedge-tailed eagle was asked: Would you like to check some baggage or purchase an in-flight meal?

The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.

A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.

Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs h**...?"

Two Bald Eagles

A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.
He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.
"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.
"Oh this?", he points to his head with his wing, "I'm trying hare in plants."

Son of chief: "Father, how are we named?"

Chief: "After you are born, your mother looks out of the teepee and names you the first thing she sees."
Son: "Oh wow, is that how you were named Soaring Eagle?"
Chief: "Yes, Horse Taking Dump"

I encountered an eagle with an identity crisis...

He's watching me like a hawk.

A teacher confiscates two birds, a dog, and a handgun from a kindergarten student.

Teacher: "What are you doing with these things?!"
Student: "I'm practicing my alphabet."
Teacher: "Bringing animals and a gun to class is no way to learn!"
Student: "Sure it is. I have a beagle, a seagull, a Deagle, and an eagle."

A man is arrested for killing a condor

A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."
The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one question. What did it taste like?"
The man says, Somewhere between a bald eagle and a baby seal."

Why aren't you supposed to help sick birds?

It's ill eagle

What's the difference between an eagle and a snitch?

Nothing, they both talon you.
Here all night.

What is the bird of peace?

Dove.
What is the bird of prey?
Eagle
What is the bird of o**... s**...?
s**...

A man is caught feasting on a Bald Eagle by a park ranger.

He is taken to court and the judge asks him why he committed this crime.
The man replies I had no other choice and this was my only way of survival.
Given the circumstances, the judge decides that this man is telling the truth and let's him off the case. But being curious, the judge asks Well, how did it taste like?
The man replied Have you ever had Spotted Owl?

I built the most American guitar ever

Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.
Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.

The Eagles held the record for bestselling album of all time.

That was until Micheal Jackson beat it..

What do you call a sick eagle?

ILLEAGLE

Why couldn't the farmer drive around the sick bird lying in the middle of the dirt road?

Because it was an ill eagle pass.

If eagles are the birds of American freedom, then what is the bird of American love?

A s**...

What do you get when a condor, an ostrich, and an eagle walk into a bar?

Three golfers lying about their game

I was laying in my hotel room bed, n**... and spread eagle, when the cleaning lady comes in.

Finally.

Dave and his girlfriend check into the hotel room.

As soon as they walk in, the girl immediately jumps up on the bed and lays in a spread eagle.
She asks - Dave, do you know what it means?
Dave - yeah, that you wanna sleep on this bed all by yourself.

Why can't you own a sick eagle?

Because it's ill-eagle!

I found this little baby eagle on the ground and it looked like it was sick.

I thought about taking it to the vet, but I didn't pick it up because it's ill eagle.

A guy had an eagle. One day it was sick. It puked everywhere and wouldn't stop. Worried, the guy called the vet. Instead of the vet, the cops came and took it away.

Cos it was Ill-eagle.

A guy gave me a badass eagle tattoo in my c**... region for $50.

It looked so sick that I asked him to give me a matching tattoo in the palm of my hand so I could show it to everyone, but he said this one would cost $100. He said, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

A creature is born of a lion mother and an eagle father. How does he get into Hogwart's?

The Gryffindor

Why is the rabbit the strongest animal there is?

Why is the rabbit the strongest animal there is?
Because it can fly, even with an eagle on its back.

Moses, Jesus and an old man are playing golf together.

Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole. Moses turns to Jesus "I hate playing with your dad."

m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When m**... swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.
A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

A man is on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and is at the million dollar question.

The question is "which of these birds doesn't build its own nest? a.the cuckoo b. the sparrow c. the eagle or d. the red-tailed hawk. He only has "phone a friend left", so he calls his friend and repeats the question. His friend immediately says it's the cuckoo. The guy asks if he's sure and he says "yes, positive". The guy answers the cuckoo and wins a million dollars. When he goes to thank his friend the next day, he asks "how did you the cuckoo doesn't built it's own nest?" and the friend replied "Because it lives in a clock, duh!"

You shoot a sick bird, but get arrested. Why?

Because it was an ill eagle shooting.

A childhood classic my dad used to tell me:

Q. Why was a frog flying?
A. Because he ate a helium baloon.
Q. Then why was a snake flying?
A. Because it ate the flying frog.
Q. Then why was the eagle flying?
A. Because it has wings

Why shouldn't you get the national bird of the USA sick?

Because it'll be an ill eagle action.

Moses, Jesus and an old man were playing golf.

Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Hole in one.
Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. Hole in one.
The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole.
Moses turns to Jesus and says
"I hate playing with your dad."

If a Birdie is one less than par, and an Eagle is two less than par, and an Albatross is three less than par…

…then, in keeping with an avian theme, why can't a Hole-in-One be referred to as a Bay-Gull?
TL;DR-
A Bagel isn't a Bagel unless there's a Hole-in-One.

An eagle is flying over the Grand Canyon when it spies a frog by a stream.

The eagle swoops down and swallows the frog whole, flying off with a full stomach. Somehow the frog makes it through the eagle's digestive tract and pokes his head out of the eagle's a**....
The frog takes a look around and yells back at the eagle: "Hey eagle. About how high up are we?
The eagle yells back, "Oh about 10,000 feet."
The frog replies, "Really? You wouldn't s**... me now, would you?"

Two guys are out hunting deer.

The first guy says "Did you see that?"
No" the second guy says.
Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.
Oh.
A couple of minutes later, the first guy says "Did you see that?"
See what?"
Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.
Oh".
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says "Yes, I did!"
Then why did you step in it?"

3 animals are accused of a terrible crime. Sally the pig, Juan the eagle, and Carl the otter. A famous detective is brought in to investigate. He interrogates all 3 suspects and immediately decides it's not the pig. But why?

It's always Juan or the otter

Why can't a sick eagle cross the road?

Because it's ill-e-gal

Superman is flying around the city when he sees Wonder Woman lying n**... and spread eagle atop a skyscraper

He thinks to himself I can fly over there, have super sonic fast s**... with her, and fly away before she even notices…
He zips over, pumps away with a speed that induces time dilation in his nether region, and flies away before Wonder Woman can tell what happened.
Startled, Wonder Woman exclaims, What the h**... was that???
The Invisible Man replies, I have no idea but my a**... hurts like h**...!

Two eagles walk into a law firm looking for a job

The hiring manager asks, "So why should I hire you two?"
And the eagles say, "Well, we've been eagles since the day we hatched from our eggs. You're never going to find a para-eagles better than us!"

Eagle joke, Two eagles walk into a law firm looking for a job

jokes about eagle

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these eagle jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.