The Best 27 Eagerly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Eagerly jokes. There are some eagerly willingly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these eagerly intently puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Eagerly Jokes and Puns

Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers.

They defend the ships much more eagerly.

My girlfriend threatened to break up with me

She said, "You act so childish whenever I'm around. Now, it's either 'your mom' jokes or me."

I said, "And I, like so many men before me, will eagerly choose your mom."

Little Johnny is in Catholic School

The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"

Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."

Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."

Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."

The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.

Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"

Before leaving for the convention center on Election night, Hilary told Bill: "Tonight, for the first time in history, America will finally have two presidents sleeping with each other"...

When she got home, Bill was already eagerly waiting in bed, and he said:

"Is Trump on his way or should I drive to his place?"

After a session of snogging in the couch, my girlfriend whispered " Shall we go upstairs?"

" yes " I said eagerly.

"Do you have protection? " She asked .

"Why? What's up there?" I trembled.


Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.

A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. 

When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute !!"

A Young Bull and an Old Bull

are standing on a hill and see cows in the pasture below.

The young bull eagerly says, "Let's run down there and screw one of those cows!"

"No," the older bull replies, "Let's *walk* down there and screw *all* of them."

Eagerly joke, A Young Bull and an Old Bull

Two poor men dream of going to America

They hear of American food and how great it is and, in particular, the hotdog.

So they work hard and save their money for many years before finally traveling to America. Upon arriving, they immediately run off the boat and to the nearest hotdog stand. Eagerly, they throw their money at the stand and both get their own hotdogs.

The two men stand there for a second, both looking a little disappointed. Finally, one looks up at the other, well, what part of the dog did you get?

Two hillbillies are discussing plans for dinner

After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"

"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other hillbilly scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"

"You know," the other says, gesturing towards the corpse, "because we found Himalayan on the side of the road."

My wife and I were walking in Rome. The was a lone old guy at the other side of the street. My wife said, He looks like the Pope in civilian clothes. Go and ask!

So I crossed the road and asked the old man if he was indeed the Pope.

He said, F**k off.

I went back to my wife who eagerly asked, Well? Tell me, is he the Pope?

I said, He told me to f**k off.

Oh no, said my wife, Now we'll never know.

Train

Cassie was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each one a bag. The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you. " "Why not? " replied the curious brother "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute. "

You can explore eagerly delight reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean eagerly passionately dad jokes. There are also eagerly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A long married couple sits in the kitchen.

The wife cooks something, while the husband sits at his table eagerly waiting for his meal. Suddenly the wife soils herself with tomato sauce and turns around to her loved one.

"Well, damn...Look at this, I look like a pig!"

To which the husband responds: "AND you soiled yourself..."

Sounds better in Viennese tongue...but, yeah...

I just got back from a shift at Tesco's..

And while I was working a nice old lady came to my til. I scanned through all her items and it came to £56.83, but after counting up all her change she had just shy of £40.

So I offered to help her, to which she refused but I eagerly insisted. I thought this is probably someone's Nan, and I'd like to think someone would help my Nan in the same situation.

So after no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves!

Train ride

A man and a woman share sleeping compartment on a train ride.

The woman flirts with the man, and after a while, says she's cold and asks if he could please give her a blanket, as he's in the lower bunk.

The man smiles at her and asks: Hey, how about if we play we are a married couple on a train ride . Sure! , she eagerly replies.

Man: So get the blanket yourself!

Permission To Marry Your Daughter

Jimmy asks his girlfriend's father permission to propose.

The father says, "I need to ask you two questions. The first question is, do you love my daughter?"

Jimmy eagerly responds, "Sir, I love her with all my heart."

My second question is, "Do you think you earn enough money to support a family."

Jimmy immediately answers, "Yes sir, I certainly do."

The father says, "Slow down and think carefully Jimmy. There is six of us."

A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...

The genie in his traditional style offered three wishes to them, so they decided to split the three wishes amongst them. The first worker said:

"I wish for a party yacht with hundreds of beautiful girls crawling all over me."

Poof, and he was gone. Seeing this, the second worker eagerly said:

"I wish for a castle with hundreds of staff and a limitless credit card."

Poof, and he too was gone. Scratching his stubble, the boss sighed.

"I want those two goddamn loafers back in the office before lunch break ends!"

Eagerly joke, A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are busy with yet another complicated case.

Suddenly, Holmes seizes a chunk of blood-spattered limestone from the ground.

"What is it, Holmes?" asks Watson, eagerly.

Holmes turns and replies, gravely, "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson.

A man driving to the store finds no place to park...

He sees an empty parking spot and eagerly drives his car into the slot, paying no attention to the "Customer Only" sign. When he comes back, his car has disappeared. He storms into the bank, where he demands to know where his car went. The banker looks straight into his eyes and whispers "I towed you so."

The ladder to success

A broke young woman is walking down the road. She happens to come across a very large ladder in the middle of road. So she asks a man standing nearby what its there for, he replies saying "well, its the ladder to success!". She then proceeds to climb the ladder very eagerly. She then finds her way to the top. There stands a bright red door, so she knocks on the door. And suddenly a very large man comes out with a big grin saying " Hey there, my name's Sess"


I walked up to a group of girls.

I said, "Would you like to see a magic trick?"

"Yes," they smiled eagerly.

Then I handed them a David Blaine DVD and walked off.

Two scientists are about the open the results of a recent experiment.

The first scientist eagerly asks the other: "So, what does it say? Is it looking like we're pretty close to a cure?"
"Well, it appears that out of all the mice that received the new treatment, we were only able to successfully cure every-other one. So, the odds aren't looking very good..."

A maths teachers husband buys an Aston Martin.

He pulls up into the drive of their house, eagerly awaiting his wife's response.

Instead, she looks angry and horrified. She storm up to his window and says "You ALWAYS leech off of MY money!"

"W-What?"

"LOOK AT YOU! I don't know HOW you earned this car!"

"Why?"

"YOU DIDN'T DO THE WORKING FOR IT!"

The priest reached out and pressed the bell for the boy.

A local priest was walking down the street of his small town. He was happily humming a tune when he saw a little boy trying to reach the doorbell of a nearby house.

Hey there, kid said the priest with a kind smile, let me help you out. The priest reached out and pressed the bell for the boy.

Anything else I can do for you? he asked.

Yes, said the boy, nodding eagerly. Run! We've only got a few seconds before they come!

At the dance, Wood-Eye Pete stood awkwardly to the side

Deciding there wasn't much to lose he decided to ask Pudgie Peggy to dance.
"Would you care to dance?" He asked her, gamely.
With enthusiasm Pudgie Peggy eagerly expressed her delight almost yelling, Would I??!!
Pete blushed with shame and quickly defended himself yelling Well you're just a Fat Pig!"
before stomping out with a disgusted frown.

Teacher asked the class, "What's Urology about?"

A blonde eagerly raised her hand. Teacher says, "Yes, you"..
She screams out of her lung "Its the Study of European culture".

Excited for the finale of "In the closet"?

Everyone's waiting eagerly for it to come out, but some of us know how it ends.

Eagerly joke, Excited for the finale of "In the closet"?

An eagerly-awaited cook book "Cooking with Herbs" finally released!

It's about thyme.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the eagerly astonishment puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working eagerly enthusiastically piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes