eachother Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious eachother puns

Eyes

Two men are sitting in a bar, talking to eachother. One asks the other if he ever looks his wife in the eyes while making love. "I did once" the other responds, "But I saw a lot of anger in her eyes". The first, looking confused: "Why was that?"

"Because she was looking from outside through the window!"

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Out in space, 2 aliens are talking to eachother...

The first alien says, *"The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."*

The second alien asks, *"Are they an emerging intelligence?"*

The first alien responds, *"Hmm...I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"*

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One, day little Johnny asks his father,

"Daddy where do i come from?"
The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.

"Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very much..."

After explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,

"Well son, does that answer your question?"

"Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy."

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What do you call two homeless people hitting eachother with cardboard?

A pillow fight.

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I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator.

We speak to eachother on so many different levels.

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(NSFW) Three whores are sat in a bar..

And they are bragging to eachother about how big their pussies are.

Whore 1: My pussy is so big that i can fit my fist in!


Whore 2: Just one? My pussy is so big i can fit both my fists in!


Both whores look to the third and see that she is trying to hold herself up on the bar..


Whore 3: I think i need a wider stool..

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The Lawyer and the Mexican

A lawyer and a Mexican live next to eachother in the most cookie-cutter neighborhood you can imagine.
One day, they're both mowing the frontlawn. The Mexican says:

"You know, my house is worth more than yours."

The lawyer is confused. He responds:

"How? Our houses are identical. Did you renovate the interior?"

"No."

"Did you modernize the kitchen or the bathroom?"

"I didn't."

"Then how can your house be worth more than mine?!", the lawyer cries.

"Well, I live next to a lawyer, and you live next to a Mexican."

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Two vegans bump into eachother at a BBQ

"We must stop meating like this."

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Wars would be obsolete if women ruled the world

There would just be a bunch of jealous countries who do not talk to eachother.

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My girlfriend and I were fighting in the car

We glared at eachother and I thought neither of us would back down, but in the end we struck an Accord.

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Marriage sex

When you first get married, you have everywhere sex. Kitchen counters, tables, couch, back yard. You're fucking everywhere.

After a few months you have bedroom sex, the often occurrence of the late night and early morning quickie.

After a few years you get into the hallway sex. When you pass eachother you say "fuck you"

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What did the two oceans say to each-other?

Nothing, they just waved.

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I don't give a sh*t.

One time, on a beautiful sunny day, three good friends made a deal to not give a shit about anything anymore.
After some time of walking behind eachother, one guy notices a 100 dollar bill, stops above it, and thinks whether to pick it up or not.
Then he says quietly:
"Aaah, fuck it, i don't give a shit about that money".
And proceeds to walk.

Second guy saws him looking down and notices the dollar bill, and as he is approaching the money, he remembered about the deal they had just made, and then thought:
"Fuuuuck that, i don't need that shit".
And also proceeds to walk slowly forward, pushing down the urge to pick it up.

Third guy approaches the dollar bill, leans forward and picks it up. Other guys were immideately confused.
And one guy asked: "Why did you pick it up, we said earlier today that we don't give a shit about anything?"

Then the third guy says to them: "I don't give a shit about what I said".

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Two black men

are walking down a city street and come across a building reading "Only 98 cents to change your skin color," the men paused and looked at eachother. One Black man says "Wow, that would make life so much easier for us! I got 99 cents in my pocket." The other replies "Yes it would but I only got 97 cents. If you go in, try it out and it goes well can I borrow that leftover penny?"

"Of course, well here I go," the man walks into the building and minutes later comes out a brand new white man.

"Wow this is amazing, I don't believe what i'm seeing right now!" the black man continues "This worked out so well, can i borrow that penny from you?"

The new white man tells him, "Get a job, nig nog."

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A white doctor in Africa

It's a white doctor in an african village. One day, a horde of African men came to his office and said:
" Doc, we respect you, but we saw that many women started having white babies!"
The doctor laughed and replied: "Oh no! it's not what you think it is! you see, in my ranch I have a lot of white horses and they sometimes have black offspring, nothing unatural!"

The black men looked at eachother, feeling embarrassed.

"Ok doc, we will forget about the women if you forget about the horses."

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Two statues

There were once two statues. One of a man and one of a woman. One day a genie came to the statues and brought them to life.

"I have awoken you for only thirty minutes. You may do whatever you want" the genie says.

The two statues smile at each other and go into some nearby bushes. The bushes shake and the genie hears giggling coming from the bushes.

Fifteen minutes later the two statues come out of the bushes holding hands and smiling.

"Why have you come out so soon?" the genie said, "you still have fifteen more minutes."

The two statues look at eachother.

"Shall we do it again?" said the man to the woman.

"Okay," says the woman, "but this time you pin down the squirrel and I'll shit on it's face."

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A man sits next to a beautiful professional looking woman on an airplane.

Their tickets gave them seats next to eachother. Realizing his good fortune, he strikes up a conversation.

"So, what do you do for a living?" He asked.

She blushed. "You'll laugh, but I'm a sex therapist."

"That's fascinating." He said automatically.

"It is." she agreed. "You'd be surprised about what misconceptions people have about sex."

"Such as?"

"Well for example, The African American male doesn't have the largest penis. That honor goes to the American Indian. Or that Italians are the most considerate lovers. The Jewish hold that title."

"interesting. he says. Who has the longest stamina?" He asked.

"That would be the Russians, as a matter of fact. Anyways, i never got your name, sir."

"Ivan, Ivan Kicking Horse Goldbloom." He said.

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Jane and Enzo are on a date...

They're walking down an empty beach on a Saturday night talking about eachother.

"I'm in Real Estate," says Jane. Enzo replies "That's right! I've seen your name in front of some big houses in this town!"

Jane replies "Yeah I bet, I'm pretty good at my job."

Enzo says "I'm a ghost hunter."

Jane looks at him and starts laughing at him saying "That's your job? a Ghost Hunter? Hahaha, I've never even seen a ghost before in my life!"

to which Enzo replies "Yeah I bet, I'm pretty good at my job."

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A stairway builder was retiring

On his last day the manager held a speech for him in the lunch-room.
"This man has worked here for over 40 years! Just imagine the number of stairs built by you alone! I reckon, on the day you die, you could stack them on top of eachother and reach heaven!"

The retiring builder, a bit red from embaresment, responded quietly:
"Oh, thank you for your kind words, but I have mostly been building basement-stairs..."

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I hate seeing babies are kissing eachother.

It's like, get a womb.

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Sexual education with John Wayne

The first time I got sexual education in elementary school, we were told to write a small text about sex and read it out loud in front of the class. Most stories were about "when a man and a woman love eachother", when their dog gave birth to puppies, etc...
I wrote this:
"John Wayne is being chased through the prairie by 100 Indians. He turns around, and shoots them all dead. The end."
My teacher said: "How does this have anything to do with sex?!"
I yelled: "Nobody FUCKS with John Wayne!"

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Two guys with black eyes

Two men sitting next to eachother on a plane notice that they both have black eyes, and they struck up a conversation.

" How did you get your black eye?" said the first man.

"Funny story," said the second man,"I was buying my ticket at the counter and the young lady selling the tickets was showing off her assets. What I ment to say was I need a ticket to Pittsburg, but what came out was I need a ticket to Tittsburg!"

The first man laughed and said,"mine happen almost the same way. I was talking to my wife before I left this morning. What I ment to say was thank you for this nice breakfast, but what came out was... You ruined my life you miserable Bitch!!"

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You would think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to eachother

But instead they steal each others electrons.

How ionic.

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A police officer is patrolling the highway...

He sees a speeding car on I95. He pulls the car over and is surprised to see a nun at the wheel. He asks her if she knows why he pulled her over. She says that she had no idea. The officer said she was driving almost 100 mph. She said " No I was driving 95 just like the sign says" He looks in the back seat and sees two more nuns holding each-other and shaking. He says that they don't have to worry, he is just going to issue a warning because of the clear misunderstanding. They respond, "We are not worried about the fine, we just got off of highway 128."

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A man and a woman met in Vegas...

A man and a woman met in Vegas. They caught sight of eachother and immediately fell deeply in love. That same night, the man proposes to her. She looks him in the eyes and says, "Honey, I have a confession. I am extremely flat chested. If that bothers you, let me know and I will leave now."
"No no," he says. "That's fine. In fact, I have a confession too. I'm... 'just like a baby' down there. If that bothers you, I'll just leave..."
"It's fine," she replies, happy they both got things off their chests (or lack thereof). That night, they get undressed and the woman passes out and hit the floor. The next morning, she wakes up and says: "What the FUCK was that? I thought you said you were like a baby!"
"Sweetie I am! 8 pounds and 21 inches!"

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Three Mice Are Bragging to eachother

The first mouse says: I will eat tons of mouse-poison, but it does nothing to me. The second mouse says, well for me a mouse trap is peanuts! I just pull the lever and take the cheese!

The Third says: Oh you two, stop bragging already! Wait... what time is it? Oh, I have to go home, i have to feed the cat!

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So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company

It's going to be called Game of Scones

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What do you call it when you and your homie help eachother both bust a nut?

Cummunism

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How do two Marines find eachother in the dark?

Very satisfying

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I heard the last two kids rescued raced eachother to the end of the cave...

Rescuers reported the race ended in a Thai.

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How do Japanese bloods say whats up to eachother?

Wassah B?

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What is the definition of trust ?

Two cannibals getting down on eachother.

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Overheard at the Gynecologist Office:

A blonde, a brunette & red head are waiting to be seen at the Gynecologist office. All three are pregnant. They start talking to eachother about their babies.

Brunette: I'm going to have a boy because I was on top during sex.

Redhead: Well, I was on the bottom during sex so I'm having a girl.

Blonde: Oh my God! I'm going to have puppies!!!

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I asked my friend why animals stay in groups...

He replied, "There are several reasons. Name an animal and I'll tell you why."

Perplexed, I took the opportunity and asked him about why penguins stay in groups.

"That," he responded, "is because penguins often use eachother to test if something is safe. Penguins sometimes even push other penguins into the water to test for killer whales."

Amazed by his knowledge, I ask him about birds.

"There are several reasons for this, as well, but the major one is so that they have a much lower chance of being targetted by a predator, like an eagle."

At this point it was just for fun, but finally, I asked him about lions.

"Oh, that? It's just the pride of lions."

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If 2 vegans are upset with eachother, is it called beef?

Or would it be a brussel bout?

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What are the most funny Eachother jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Eachother? Well, here are the best Eachother dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Eachother pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes