Dyson Jokes

What are some Dyson jokes?

What did the father say when he was killing his kid with a vacuum?


I'm writing this from the hospital

Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!

Just Spent 3 hours in the Emergency room......

.... the Dyson Ball vacuum has a VERY misleading name........

What vacuum cleaner brand do Antivaxxers prefer?


What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?


What did the father say before he killed his child with a vacuum cleaner?


Three Men are Captured by Female Savages!

They are told their dicks would be removed in a manner appropriate to their jobs.

The first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.

The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.

The third man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny, and he replied, "I work for Dyson!".

Dyson is planning to release an electric car by 2020...

I bet they'll suck.

Famous last words of the father, when he killed his Son with a vacuum cleaner


Who invented the sucker punch?

Mike Dyson

I heard that Dyson, the vacuum cleaner giants, are planning on making a new electric car...

I hope it doesn't suck.

What do you call a boxer who does the cleaning?

Mike Dyson!

What's worse than getting caught mid-blowjob?

Being banned from every Dyson store in the country

Asked my mum what she'd like for her birthday.

I wanna Dyson. She said excitedly.

So that's why is smothered her with a pillow, your honour

You want to know my opinion on the Dyson airblade?

Not a fan

What did my step-dad say before bludgeoning by brother to death with a vacuum cleaner?


I went to see the doctor yesterday as I wasn't feeling too good after emptying my bagless vacuum cleaner

He told me I might actually dyson.

What did the father say to his son when he burnt the house down vacuum cleaning...


We all know what the buffalo said to his son on the first day of school, but what did he say to his son as he was murdering him with a restroom hand dryer?


I'm making a film about killer vacumes

It's called Dyson with Death

Son - Dad look at this article

Son - Dad look at this article "Man ran over by hoover"
Dad - What an idiot, did he Dyson?

What did the inventor of the vacuum cleaner say to the child he never wanted?


Those dyson airblades suck...

Messiest urinals ever

What did the vacuum say to its dying son?


I got fired from my position of sales associate at Dyson vacuums yesterday...

Apparently saying "Would you like to try our vacuums? They suck!" wasn't the best thing to say to the customers.

What's the difference between a fancy vacuum and a flaky offspring?

One's a Dyson, the other is a dry son.

I just used the messiest urinal...

If you ever see the model "Dyson Airblade" just go use a regular toilet. If you'll excuse me, I need a shower.

My new girlfriend is like a Dyson.

I bought her from a quaint old English man.

Yo mama so fat

Aliens thought she was our Dyson Sphere

Have you heard about the new heavy weight boxer who sucks?

Dyson Fury

I just got fired from my job at Dyson.

My design for a new hoover didn't work.

I don't know what their problem is, when they asked me to design it they told me, "just make sure it doesn't suck!"

How to make Dyson puns?

We have collected gags and puns about Dyson to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Dyson? If Yes here are a lot more one liners and funny Dyson pick up lines to share with friends.

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