Dynamite Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I was admiring my naked body in the mirror today, when I said to my wife, "Look at this! 200 pounds of pure dynamite!"

My wife replied, "Too bad about the two inch fuse!"

BodyBuilder and a Blonde

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have!'
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was

A body builder takes off his shirt.

A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!"

He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!"

He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that.

She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite

Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse

Willie saw some dynamite

Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays:
It rained Willie seven days.

A teacher is asking children how their weekend went...

And young Johnny said, "It was great, Miss! Me and my Dad went to the outback! We stuck big sticks of dynamite up cane toads' arses!"


The teacher replies, "Johnny! The correct term is 'rectum'."


"That's right, Miss! Wrecked 'em! Blew 'em to bits!"

The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle

That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite?

A Baboom!

"What's that in your bag?"

"A knife, a box of matchsticks, some petrol and a few sticks of dynamite"

"No, that other thing there"

"Oh, just a pack of wafers"

"I'm sorry you can't bring that into the theater"

Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite

...because all the others could not be positively identified.

A large, powerfully-built guy...

....meets a woman at a bar.

After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite! She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite! She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, Why are you in such a hurry to go?

She replies, With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!

I'm made out of pure dynamite!

An elder couple wakes up together and kiss each other a good morning.

After that, the man stands up, picks up his weights and starts lifting them.

The man says: "Do you see this? I'm made out of pure dynamite!"

His wife looks up, with one eyebrow lifted, and says: "Too bad about the short fuse..."

(I hope it's clear because my English isn't so great)

Luigi the Fisherman

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one little old Italian man. The game warden asked Luigi how he did it.
Luigi said, "Comma down tomorrow...we go fish"

Once they got to the middle of the lake Luigi took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water He took out a net and started picking up the best ones.

"Luigi!" said the game warden, "You know that's illegal!" "I'm going to have to arrest you now."

Luigi took out another stick of dynamite, lit it and handed it to the game warden and said,

"Hey! are you gonna talk or fish?"

What do you call a cow that's swallowed a stick of dynamite?

Abominable.

Did you hear about the cow that swallowed the dynamite?

It was abominable.

The Bodybuilder

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have!'

He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have!'

The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'

He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.
He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!'

When they say a girl is dynamite

In Pakistan, they mean it.

How do you blow a flat earthers mind?

With dynamite.

What kind of Tick is explosive?

A dyna-mite.

Look At Me Darling

Man Looked His Naked Body In Mirror And Said To The Wife Man: "Look 70 Kgs Of Pure Dynamite" Wife Smiled And Reply: "But Shame On The 5cm Fuse"

Bought a load of dodgy dynamite off the internet recently.

Ended up costing me an arm and a leg.

Give a man a fish...

He eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Give the man some dynamite and there will be little chunks of fish all over the village.

The defendant is accused of putting a stick of dynamite into a steer.

Abombinabull.

A game warden heard about a guy that was dynamite fishing.

He needed to arrest him, but he had to catch him in the act. One night, he found the guy down at the local bar, so he decided to go undercover. They talked for a while and finally the guy asked him if he wanted to go fishing the next day. The warden said sure.

The next day, they went out, and after a while, the guy reached into a box under his seat. Sure enough, he pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it, and throws it in the water. The warden pulls out his badge and tells him that he's under arrest.

The guy looks at him and calmly pulls out another stick, lights it, and tosses it at the wardens feet. He then says "you gonna talk or are you gonna fish?"

What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows?

This is a bomb in a bull

If you were to learn all the uses of dynamite

It would blow your mine

El Chapo has been found guilty in the United States

In other news, a secret buyer in Mexico is looking to obtain 500 shovels and 16 tons of dynamite.

What are the funniest dynamite jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Dynamite? Well, here are the best Dynamite puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Dynamite pick up lines to share with friends.

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