Dwayne Johnson Jokes

110 dwayne johnson jokes and hilarious dwayne johnson puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dwayne johnson that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dwayne Johnson Short Jokes

Short dwayne johnson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dwayne johnson humour may include short dwayne rock jokes also.

  1. Why did Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson's family get tested for COVID-19 They couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
  2. I misplaced Dwayne Johnson's cutting tool for the origami workshop... I can't believe I lost the Rock's Paper
  3. Casting Dwayne Johnson in a movie is a bold decision... Casting The Rock is a boulder decision.
  4. Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool. I lost the Rock's paper scissors.
  5. I was cornered by Dwayne Johnson in front of a Hallmark store. I was caught between The Rock and a card place.
  6. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson just found out 2 of his kids are gay... ...I guess you can say they are fruity pebbles.
  7. Dwayne Johnson and his family all contracted COVID.. They figured it out when they couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
  8. I never realised Dwayne Johnson lived in the apartment above us. All this time we had been living under a rock.
  9. [OC] i just realized Dwayne Johnson was living above my appartment. i was living under The Rock for a very long time.
  10. You know, Dwayne Johnson was always a special kid... In third grade, all the other kids drew a family tree. Little dwayne made a family quarry.

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Dwayne Johnson One Liners

Which dwayne johnson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dwayne johnson? I can suggest the ones about magic johnson and john wayne.

  1. How does The Rock pee? He Dwaynes his Johnson.
  2. What do Irish people call a Dwayne Johnson impersonator? A Sham-Rock
  3. Does Dwayne Johnson purchase bulk shears? No.
    The Rock pay per scissors
  4. Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad? Everyone takes him for granite.
  5. How do you beat Dwayne Johnson in a fight? Throw paper at him
  6. Who decided to call it "Dwayne Johnson's wrestling Career" instead of... Classic Rock?
  7. If you give Dwayne Johnson a spanking... It means you've just hit Rock bottom.
  8. Who's the one person Medusa cannot turn to stone? Dwayne Johnson
  9. What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson? The Wok.
  10. The Rock How does The Rock pee ??
    He Dwaynes his Johnson.
  11. Why is Dwayne Johnson the bravest man alive? Because he's Boulder than all the rest!
  12. What do you call Dwayne Johnson on the moon? A moon rock
  13. Why did Dwayne Johnson beat 2 Gay women? Because Rock beats scissors.
  14. What are the names of Dwayne Johnson's sisters? The Rockettes.
  15. A lady was accused of slapping the buttocks of Dwayne Johnson She hit rock bottom

Hilarious Dwayne Johnson Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about dwayne johnson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean john travolta jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dwayne johnson pranks.

Dwayne Johnson moved into the apartment above mine.


What do you call it when someone has s**... with Dwayne Johnson?

Rock Climbing.

Did you know that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson use to be addicted to h**...?

He almost died one day, until he finally decided to lay the s**... down.

On one side of me was Dwayne Johnson, and the other, a stone fish.

I guess I was just between the Rock and a hard plaice.

What is another way of 'saying caught between a rock and a hard place'?

Having a t**... with Dwayne Johnson

What did the d**... say to Dwayne Johnson before they got started?

I'm about to be peoples elbow deep in the rocks bottom.

Dwayne Johnson's new television show on the food network

Can you cook what The Rock is smelling?

Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

Why did the cheese lose a fight with Dwayne Johnson?

Because the Roquefort back!

I got in a fight with Dwayne Johnson.

I got in a fight with Dwayne Johnson. As I threw the first punch, he turned around on the spot. And that, that is when I knew I'd hit rock bottom.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

I once had a selfie with Dwayne Johnson at the Alcatraz Island (during an SF City Tour)...

Now I know what it feels to be stucked between The Rock and A Hard Place...

I heard that for his role in the Baywatch movie Dwayne Johnson dropped down to 238 lbs from 260 lbs so he could look more ripped than 'big'.

I guess that would make him a metamorphic Rock.

Dwayne Johnson had a Low GPA of .7

Because paper beats Rock.

Dwayne Johnson has said that he would run for President...

As long as he isn't up against paper, then he should win.

If Dwayne Johnson stands for President...

The only thing that could beat him would be a paper.

Dwayne Johnson was named sexiest man alive...

A lot of girls want to be stuck between the Rock and a hard place.

How would you describe a t**... with Dwayne Johnson?

Being stuck between a rock and a hard place

What would Obama's wrestling name be?

Dwayne "Barack" Johnson

What do you call a gay-p**... starring Dwayne Johnson and Johnny Depp?

"*Rock Beats Scissors*"

I heard that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is thinking in running for President.

The only way he's winning if he's going against scissors.

I got a statue of Dwayne Johnson for outside my house

Whenever anyone asks about it, I get to tell them it's in The Rock Garden

A gay man wakes up in bed with Dwayne Johnson...

and realizes that he'**... Rock bottom.

My boyfriend wanted a t**... with Dwayne Johnson.

It was fun, but I wish we had gone a little slower with it, because I found myself between a Rock and a hard place pretty quickly.

I heard they are going to remake that movie "127 Hours"

and cast Dwayne Johnson as the rock.

Did you hear about Dwayne Johnson and the cinnamon bun?

They say it's rock and roll.

So you don't know the nicknames of WWE Superstars?

What, are you living under a Dwayne Johnson?

How does The Rock relieve his rock hard johnson?

...he Dwaynes it

What do you call Dwayne Johnson's highly excited granite flying monster?

The Rock's rockin' rock roc.

If I s**... Dwayne Johnson...

does that mean I hit Rock bottom?

Dwayne Johnson was once called out for claiming false Irish heritage.

It was a sham rock.

A few years ago, I used to live next door to both Dwayne Johnson and the pop group that sang 'Take On Me'.

I was stuck between a Rock and A-ha's place.

What happened to vin diesel when Dwayne Johnson pinned him against a brick wall?

He found himself between The Rock and a hard place.

What do you call Dwayne Johnson with an e**...?

Rock hard

What's the only way to defeat Dwayne Johnson?


What's the difference between a bunch of bugs and Dwayne Johnson's personal trainers?

One is a group of cockroaches, the other's a bunch of Rock coaches

Introducing Dwayne Johnson's latest rival, The Hard Place!

Don't get between them.

I remember once I was forced to choose between Dwayne Johnson and a lifetime supply of frozen fish.

I was stuck between a Rock and a hard plaice.

What do you get when you cross Dwayne the Rock Johnson with Chris Hemsworth?

Thor RagnoROCK

date: i like a lot of music but i'm really into rock

me: [trying to impress her] oh yeah me too
date: really? what's your favorite subgenre?
me: [visibly sweating] d-dwayne johnson

What is Dwayne Johnsons favourite game?

The Rock, Paper, Scissors

The weirdest thing happened to me today, Dwayne Johnson was holding me down wgilst a fishmonger hit me with a frozen fish.

I was stuck between The Rock and a hard plaice

What's a game you can always beat Dwayne Johnson in?

rock paper scissors

One time, I got squashed against a giant frozen fish by Dwayne Johnson

I was stuck between a Rock and a hard plaice.

The Rock.

Dwayne Johnson would never have been part of the Titanic movie. He would have sunk in the first scene.

Did you hear about Dwayne Johnson's new movie coming out on Friday?

Well, only half the movie is coming out on Black Friday, the other half will come out in samoan Friday.

If Dwayne Johnson was Romanian, what would his name be?

Dwayne Tuderesceau

Barry O has just adopted Dwayne Johnson. Mr. Johnson will now be known as

The Rock Obama

I finally hit rock bottom today.

Dwayne Johnson was not pleased.

What do Dwayne Johnson impersonators and three-leaf clovers have in common?

They're both shamrocks.

What's a Documentary about Dwayne Johnson?

A Rock Doc

I was talking to a feminist today when she told me about the Dwayne Johnson Rule.

I'd never heard of it before but apparently in order to determine if a particular comment is appropriate to say to a woman, you should first ask yourself, Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson? If not, don't say it.
I thought this sounded like a great rule, so I told her, Your chest is epic.

It was probably my worst moment of judgement, feeling over confident and giving Dwayne Johnson a big ol' s**... on his a**....

I hit Rock bottom.

How does Dwayne Johnson sign up for a music contest?

Rock enrolls
\[Rock 'n' rolls\]

I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago

I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago under the wrestling name 'Paperman'.
I failed to get in though.
At the time Dwayne Johnson was the champion, and the bosses didn't want me beating him.

Wait, if you slap Dwayne Johnson's b**......

Do you Hit Rock Bottom?

Why do movies with Kevin Hart and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson pairing do well in the box office?

Because they have a little Hart and a big Johnson

John was excited to move into his new condo which was exactly below Dwayne Johnson's apartment. But soon he became ignorant & oblivious to things happening around him. Why?

Because John was living under The Rock.

what happens when you slap Dwayne johnson in the b**...?

You hit rock bottom.

if you decide to slap a random black guys a**... and it turns out to be Dwayne Johnson..'ve really hit rock bottom

What happens when you touch Dwayne Johnson's b**...?-

You hit rock bottom.

What happens when you s**... Dwayne Johnson's b**...?

You get arrested for s**... assault. What did you think was going to happen?

You know, the saddest thing about Dwayne Johnson's success as a movie actor is how he's completely forgotten his brothers who got him there.

Paper and Scissors.

A dying kid makes a wish to meet Dwayne Johnson

Dwayne sits at the side of the hospital bed and asks the kid if he was a fan of wrestling.
The kid says yeah, and that he knows his only weakness.
Dwayne looks puzzled, and asks what it is.
"Come closer" says the kid.
Dwayne leans in, and the kid shows him his open palm. Dwayne looks confused, and the next second the kid slaps him full power across the face.
"Paper beats rock."