Dwarf Jokes
153 dwarf jokes and hilarious dwarf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dwarf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is about dwarf jokes. If you're looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to deliver. From short jokes to longer ones, there's something here for everyone. So whether you're a dwarf yourself or just looking to make someone else laugh, check out these jokes and have a good time.
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Funniest Dwarf Short Jokes
Short dwarf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dwarf humour may include short midget jokes also.
- As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back. And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
- A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy . So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ?'Whistle while you work…….' ?
- These times are harder on people with disabilities. My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table
- I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
- I ran into the back of a dwarf's car. He said he wasn't happy. I said "Well which one are you?"
- Today I saw a dwarf laughing as he climbed down a prison wall And I thought, "That's a little condescending"
- I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights He got out of his car and said "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?" - Needed a Password eight characters long:: So, I went with 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.
- Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother! Elf: You have my bow.
Dwarf: And my axe.
Necromancer: And your brother. - Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week They exchanged numbers
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Dwarf One Liners
Which dwarf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dwarf? I can suggest the ones about pygmies and miniature.
- What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer? A midget spinner.
- I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed... how could anyone stoop so low
- A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.
- I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall It was a little condescending
- If a psychic dwarf is evading the police... Does that make him a small medium at large?
- 7 dwarfs in bed feeling happy Happy got out so they started feeling grumpy
- A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket He said, " How could someone stoop so low"
- Today I got slapped for telling a girl her hair smelled nice. I hate being a dwarf.
- The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy. So Happy got out.
- Did you hear about the dwarf who was pickpocketed? How could anyone stoop so low??
- Why are dwarfs so good at math? Because it's the little things that count.
- Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall… I thought that's a little condescending
- Two elves walk into a bar The dwarf laughs and walks under it
- According to a new study.. ...6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
- Baby you are like a white dwarf star.... Extremely hot but not very bright
7 Dwarf Jokes
Here is a list of funny 7 dwarf jokes and even better 7 dwarf puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Studies show that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
- The 7 dwarfs were all in bed feeling happy Happy got out and they all started feeling grumpy
- Statistically, 6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.
- It's a fact 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy!!!
- A dwarf walks into a bar A dwarf walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender tells him it will be $7. The dwarf asks if he'll take $5. The bartender says "Nah, you're 2 short".
- According to a recent survey, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy.
- The 7 Dwarfs were thrown out of a bar. They don't serve miners.
- Snow White said to the Seven Dwarfs "Gee boys! I've always wanted 7 inches, just not one inch at a time."
- I said to the doctor that I felt short and depressed He reminded me that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy.
- I heard a shocking statistic today 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy
Red Dwarf Jokes
Here is a list of funny red dwarf jokes and even better red dwarf puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My astronomy professor told me it was possible for a white dwarf to turn into a red giant I then told him to pull his pants back up.
- What did the red dwarf say to its child? Like father, like sun
(OC I think)
Elves Jokes
Here is a list of funny elves jokes and even better elves puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is another name for Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses!
- Some people say that elves are very shy But I think hobbits can be Shire
- What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop? WRAP MUSIC!
- Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves? Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.
- What time do Elves usually meet? Around Twelvish
I'm ashamed to say that this is OC - How did Santa feel about getting a gift from his elves? He was presently surprised.
- What do elves learn in preschool? Not the elf-abet, no; they don't learn anything because they don't exist.
- What does an English teacher call Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses.
- Why does Santa use elves? the south lost
- What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
Hilarious Dwarf Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about dwarf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean two midgets jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dwarf pranks.
Caught Short
Two dwarfs have just won the lottery, so they go out and hire two prostitutes and two hotel rooms. The first dwarf tries desperately all night to get an e**..., but all he can hear from the next room is, 'One, two, three, huh!'. This goes on all night.
The next morning, the second dwarf asks, 'So how did it go?'. The first dwarf replies, 'Shit, I couldn't get an e**.... How was your night?'. The second dwarf turns round and replies, 'Even worse, I couldn't even get on the bed.'
What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?
Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!
What do you call...
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
I'll tell you what I know about dwarfs!
Very Little
Courtesy of Jimmy Carr
I was driving one day and I rear ended a car.
We pulled into a nearby parking lot and out of the car I had hit stepped a little person, a dwarf if you will. He said "I'm not happy",so I asked "Then which one are you?"
The Seven Dwarfs
The seven dwarfs were all in a hot tub. They were all feeling happy, then Happy got out.
crashed my car today...
a dwarf got out the other car and said 'I'm not happy', I said which one are you then?
A lady was driving along the highway...
...when suddenly she is distracted and crashes into the car in front of her, causing a bit of damage. She immediately jumps out of her car to give her details to the person she's crashed into. She walks to the driver's door and out hops a dwarfed man. 'I'm very sorry for the accident I've caused,' the lady says, 'I'll pay for any damage.' To which the dwarf replies, 'I'm not happy...' The lady says, 'If you're not happy, then which one are you?'
So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today...
As he stormed out of his car he banged on my window screaming, "I'm not happy!!"
To which I replied, "Well then which one are you?"
A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison.
The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall
As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."
Did you hear about the man whose first girlfriend was a dwarf?
He's still nuts over her.
The seven dwarfs were in the hot tub feeling happy...
...so Happy left.
Met a Dwarf Today....
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
This has been seen before, but this is my favorite version.
I rear- ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Well, i couldnt believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, " Well, then which one are you?"
And thats how the fight started....
I really like white dwarf stars...
...My favorite is Peter Dinklage.
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
A dwarf that loves to joke goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks.
I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
Crashed in to the back of a car today at a set of lights, while I wasn't really paying attention. The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said "I'm not happy" so I replied "well, which one are you then?"
A psychic dwarf escaped from prison
There's a small medium at large.
Yesterday I got into an accident with a prius...
Yesterday I was on the highway and rear ended a prius.
We both pulled over and a dwarf gets out of the prius.
He walks up to my car and says "Hey mister, I'm not happy!"
I say "then which one are you?"
Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant?
Because the steaks were too high.
I saw on the news today that a dwarf got pickpocketed. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low!
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.
What did the dwarf p**... say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night?
Hi h**..., hi h**..., it's off to work we go
I was reading earlier about a dwarf who got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
What do you call it when you have s**... with a dwarf who has gender dysmorphia?
micro trans action
Why do astronomers love Game of Thrones?
Because of its dwarf star.
I met an urban dwarf who keeps perfect time.
He's a metronome.
A man accidentally rear-ended a car
The driver whom was rear-ended steps out of the car and, to the mans surprise, was a dwarf. He walks to the man and says "I am NOT happy."
The man responds: "Then which one are you?"
I bumped in to the back of a car on the way to work
A dwarf got out, absolutely fuming and exclaimed 'I'm not happy!'
To which I replied, 'Which one are you then?'
I was reading in the paper...
And I saw this article about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
I thought to myself, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
Dwarf Incident
I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me.
I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.
A guy isn't paying attention and rear ends someone at the traffic lights...
...He gets out of his car to inspect the damage and a dwarf gets out of the other car. He says "I'm not happy, you know"!
The guy says "No? Well which one are you then"?
An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Hobbit walk into a bar...
All three proceed to eat, drink and have a good time, slamming down pint after pint of ale until finally the pub was closing. The bartender asks them how he should split the tab as it was a pretty hefty sum.
"I got this," replies the Elf as he looks at the bill. "My two friends here are always a little short anyway."
What's the most well-known dwarf star?
Peter Dinklage.
What does an academic dwarf call his axes?
x and y.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner
What do you call a dwarf who regularly rides the Paris Metro?
A Metrognome.
Why was the dwarfs mining business so successful?
Because his overheads were very low.
I have a friend who is a cross dressing dwarf. Does that mean he's gay?
I means he's a little gay.
My last boss was a dwarf
He was a real micromanager
A psychic dwarf escaped from jail
The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
I got in a car wreck last week.
A dwarf got out the other car and said, "I'm not happy."
To which I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
A dwarf walks up to a lady and says...
I'm three foot and 10 inches...
And those are two different measurements!
What do you call an Eskimo dwarf with a r**... e**...?
A frigid midget with a rigid digit
Times are really hard for people with disabilities.
I have a dwarf friend and he really struggles with putting food on the table.
I was walking past a prison the other day, and
I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.
I thought to myself, now that's a little con descending.
I like to imagine my fingers as the races of Middle Earth...
The thumb is the dwarf because it's stout
The pinkie is the hobbit because it's diminutive
The index is the elf because it's the most dexterous
The ring is the human because they were given the most rings
And the middle is the orc... because it's the rudest
What do you call a dwarf with ESP who escapes from prison?
A Small Medium at Large
A joke to tell at DnD. Why are Dwarf pubs so bad?
Because they set the bar so low.
'Police have announced that a psychic dwarf has escaped from custody.'
'They're looking for a small medium at large.'
My dwarf friend was permanently banned from the nudist colony.
He kept sticking his nose in other people's business.
A psychic dwarf has been on the run from the police for months...
He is a small medium at large.
Times are hard right now. I've got a dwarf friend.
He's struggling to put food on the table.
I drove into a car at some traffic lights whilst not really paying attention
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He looked up to me and said, I'm not happy,
Well, which one are you then? I replied.
What do you call a well dressed dwarf that keeps perfect time?
A Metro Gnome
PornHub now requires all visitors to watch at least 5 minutes of dwarf m**... content before accessing other videos.
That's the bare mini mum.
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
What do you call a dwarf in a wheelchair?
A midget spinner.
Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped prison?
News headlines say "Small medium at large".
What do you call a psychic dwarf escaping prison?
An small medium at large!
When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?
When he's standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice.
Have you heard the one about the dwarf who abuses his tall wife?
It's a little offensive.
But a real knee s**....
A little dwarf is sitting in a bar. He stares at his beer with a sad look in his eyes.
A strong guy appears, punches the dwarfs shoulder and drinks his beer. The dwarf starts crying.
The guy: "Come on, you wimp. A real man does not cry because of a beer."
The dwarf: "Listen. My wife left me today and my bank account was robbed. After that I lost my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so I laid down on the railroad track. The train did not come. Wanted to hang myself - the rope teared. Wanted to shot myself - I ran out of ammo.
From my remaining money I brought a beer, tipped some poison into it, and now you drank it."
