dwarf Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dwarf puns

What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer?

A midget spinner.

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My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

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I saw my dwarf neighbor at a bus stop

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said.
"Fuck off" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little cunt" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

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I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed...

how could anyone stoop so low

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Saw a dwarf waiting at a bus stop in the rain

"Jump in", I yelled, "I'll give you a lift home". "Fuck off!", he shouted back. 'What an ungrateful bastard' I thought as I zipped up my backpack and kept on walking.

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I was walking into Best Buy...

When I saw a dwarf walking out carrying a flat screen TV. I asked him, "Are you going to be able to carry that TV by yourself?" He screams back, " Fuck you! It's an iPad!"

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A small joke...

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
"I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

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A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar...

The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.

I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

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I saw my dwarf neighbor at a bus stop today...

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"F*ck you!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little cunt," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

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I saw my dwarf neighbour at a bus stop

Jump in, I'll give you a lift home I said.
Fuck off he shouted back.
What an ungrateful little cunt I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

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7 dwarfs in bed feeling happy

Happy got out so they started feeling grumpy

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A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket

He said, " How could someone stoop so low"

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A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

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What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?

Very little.

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Met a Dwarf Today....

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

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A man accidentally rear-ended a car

The driver whom was rear-ended steps out of the car and, to the mans surprise, was a dwarf. He walks to the man and says "I am NOT happy."

The man responds: "Then which one are you?"

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The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy.

So Happy got out.

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I saw my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said.
"Fuck off!" He shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little cunt" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued to walk.

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I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights

He got out of his car and said "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

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I seen a dwarf leaving the shopping mall with a flat screen TV and he looked like he was struggling...

So I shouted "Need a hand with that TV?" And he shouted "Fuck off it's a Kindle."

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Why are dwarfs so good at math?

Because it's the little things that count.

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I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall

As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

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Car Accident

I got into the weirdest car accident the other day. I rear ended a car, and when the driver got out, it was a fucking *dwarf*. He angrily yelled at me, "I am ***NOT*** happy!"

To which I replied, "Well which are you then?!"

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I was walking past a prison the other day, and

I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.

I thought to myself, now that's a little con descending.

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When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?

When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.

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So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today...

As he stormed out of his car he banged on my window screaming, "I'm not happy!!"

To which I replied, "Well then which one are you?"

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I was reading in the paper...

And I saw this article about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
I thought to myself, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

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I was reading in the paper today...

about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

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3 Foot Condom

A Dwarf goes into a chemist and asks if the 3 foot display condom was for sale?

The owners says "Yes but its not cheap, i'd want £500 for it."

"I'll take it" says the dwarf.

After paying for it the dwarf pulls it over head and down to his shoes and asks the shop owner what he thinks he looks like?

The owner replies "to be honest you look like a massive cock."

"Excellent." replies the dwarf, "i'm pissed off with being called a little cunt."

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Baby you are like a white dwarf star....

Extremely hot but not very bright

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I saw on the news today that a dwarf got pickpocketed. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low!

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The Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs were all in a hot tub. They were all feeling happy, then Happy got out.

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Seven dwarfs in bed feeling happy

happy got out so they started feeling grumpy

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Dwarf Incident

I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

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What are the most funny Dwarf jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dwarf? Well, here are the best Dwarf dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dwarf pick up lines to share with friends.

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