Dwarf Jokes
141 dwarf jokes and hilarious dwarf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dwarf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is about dwarf jokes. If you're looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to deliver. From short jokes to longer ones, there's something here for everyone. So whether you're a dwarf yourself or just looking to make someone else laugh, check out these jokes and have a good time.
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Funniest Dwarf Short Jokes
Short dwarf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dwarf humour may include short pygmies jokes also.
- A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy . So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ?'Whistle while you work…….' ?
- These times are harder on people with disabilities. My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table
- Today I saw a dwarf laughing as he climbed down a prison wall And I thought, "That's a little condescending"
- Needed a Password eight characters long:: So, I went with 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.
- Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week They exchanged numbers
- What small thing screams "I'm rich"? A dwarf who just won the lottery.
- Due to COVID-19, The Seven Dwarfs have been restricted to gather in a group of no more than six. One of them is not Happy.
- I was walking past a prison the other day, and I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.
I thought to myself, now that's a little con descending. - I was reading in the paper... And I saw this article about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
I thought to myself, "How could anyone stoop so low?" - A dwarf walks into a bar He hits his head and falls down.
.
.
.
Yes, I could have made a better joke, but the bar was set too low.
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Dwarf One Liners
Which dwarf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dwarf? I can suggest the ones about miniature and small man.
- I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed... how could anyone stoop so low
- A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.
- I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall It was a little condescending
- 7 dwarfs in bed feeling happy Happy got out so they started feeling grumpy
- A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket He said, " How could someone stoop so low"
- Today I got slapped for telling a girl her hair smelled nice. I hate being a dwarf.
- Why are dwarfs so good at math? Because it's the little things that count.
- According to a new study.. ...6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
- Baby you are like a white dwarf star.... Extremely hot but not very bright
- Studies show that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
- Why do astronomers love Game of Thrones? Because of its dwarf star.
- What's the difference between a Munchkin, a dwarf and an Oompa-Loompah? Very little.
- I was reading earlier about a dwarf who got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
- Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant? Because the steaks were too high.
- I really like white dwarf stars... ...My favorite is Peter Dinklage.
Red Dwarf Jokes
Here is a list of funny red dwarf jokes and even better red dwarf puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the red dwarf say to its child? Like father, like sun
(OC I think)
7 Dwarf Jokes
Here is a list of funny 7 dwarf jokes and even better 7 dwarf puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A dwarf walks into a bar A dwarf walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender tells him it will be $7. The dwarf asks if he'll take $5. The bartender says "Nah, you're 2 short".
- I said to the doctor that I felt short and depressed He reminded me that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy.
Elves Jokes
Here is a list of funny elves jokes and even better elves puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is another name for Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses!
- Some people say that elves are very shy But I think hobbits can be Shire
- What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop? WRAP MUSIC!
- Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves? Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.
- What time do Elves usually meet? Around Twelvish
I'm ashamed to say that this is OC - How did Santa feel about getting a gift from his elves? He was presently surprised.
- What do elves learn in preschool? Not the elf-abet, no; they don't learn anything because they don't exist.
- Why does Santa use elves? the south lost
- What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
- How do elves wash their hands? With Santa-tiser.
Hilarious Dwarf Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about dwarf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hobbit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dwarf pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the h**... say to the dwarf??
Keep your nose out of my business!!!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Caught Short
Two dwarfs have just won the lottery, so they go out and hire two prostitutes and two hotel rooms. The first dwarf tries desperately all night to get an e**..., but all he can hear from the next room is, 'One, two, three, huh!'. This goes on all night.
The next morning, the second dwarf asks, 'So how did it go?'. The first dwarf replies, 'Shit, I couldn't get an e**.... How was your night?'. The second dwarf turns round and replies, 'Even worse, I couldn't even get on the bed.'
What do you call...
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was driving one day and I rear ended a car.
We pulled into a nearby parking lot and out of the car I had hit stepped a little person, a dwarf if you will. He said "I'm not happy",so I asked "Then which one are you?"
I found Peter Dinklage on a Hertzsprung–Russell diagram...
It said "white dwarf"
A lady was driving along the highway...
...when suddenly she is distracted and crashes into the car in front of her, causing a bit of damage. She immediately jumps out of her car to give her details to the person she's crashed into. She walks to the driver's door and out hops a dwarfed man. 'I'm very sorry for the accident I've caused,' the lady says, 'I'll pay for any damage.' To which the dwarf replies, 'I'm not happy...' The lady says, 'If you're not happy, then which one are you?'
I rear ended a car this morning...
The driver got out of the car and he was a dwarf.
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT happy!"
So I said "Well which one are you then?"
Sorry if its a repost. Saw it on Facebook and thought it was funny.
For Sale: Dwarf Jacuzzi
Can also be used as a foot spa.
A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison.
The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall
As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dwarfs and s**... Harassment
Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the man whose first girlfriend was a dwarf?
He's still nuts over her.
Met a Dwarf Today....
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
I just crashed into the back of a dwarf driver....
He gets out of the car inspects the rear bumper and goes up my window. "I'm not happy" he said "well which one are you then?"
This has been seen before, but this is my favorite version.
I rear- ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Well, i couldnt believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, " Well, then which one are you?"
And thats how the fight started....
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
A dwarf that loves to joke goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks.
I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
Gambling is like a dwarf at a barbecue...
...The stakes are always just too high
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw on the news today that a dwarf got pickpocketed. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low!
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the dwarf p**... say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night?
Hi h**..., hi h**..., it's off to work we go
I met a dwarf the other day
He was a pretty down to earth guy.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Telling a girl she has nice hair is not s**... harassment
Unless you're a dwarf
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a Dwarf who had escaped from prison climbing over a chain link fence. As he was climbing down the other side he scowled and stuck his tongue out at me and ran away...
I said to myself "That was a little condescending"
I met an urban dwarf who keeps perfect time.
He's a metronome.
What do you call a dwarf that was on fire?
A lil smokey
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a pig and a dwarf janitor?
One is messy, and the other is a little cleaner.
Dwarf Incident
I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me.
I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.
How did the dwarf reach the cookies on top of the fridge?
He Imp-provised.
Why do dwarfs dislike the big city?
Because of Smaug
I feel like I got a bad deal on my dwarf transformation surgery...
I was definitely short-changed.
An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Hobbit walk into a bar...
All three proceed to eat, drink and have a good time, slamming down pint after pint of ale until finally the pub was closing. The bartender asks them how he should split the tab as it was a pretty hefty sum.
"I got this," replies the Elf as he looks at the bill. "My two friends here are always a little short anyway."
What's the most well-known dwarf star?
Peter Dinklage.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.
I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
What does an academic dwarf call his axes?
x and y.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer?
A midget spinner.
What do you call a dwarf who regularly rides the Paris Metro?
A Metrognome.
Why was the dwarfs mining business so successful?
Because his overheads were very low.
I rear-ended another car this morning.
I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a really bad day.
The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn't you know it!
He was a dwarf!! He looked up at me and said, "I am 'Not Happy.'
So I said, "Well, then, which one are you?"
And, that's how the fight started.
My last boss was a dwarf
He was a real micromanager
I'm reading a crime novel about a dwarf psychic on the run from the police
It's called: Small Medium at Large
My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey girl, are you a white dwarf?
Because you're one of the hottest bodies in the observable universe. (It's only natural for a star)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is a dead dwarf like a small e**...?
Because both are a little stiff.
A dwarf walks up to a lady and says...
I'm three foot and 10 inches...
And those are two different measurements!
A dwarf was kicked out of a nudist colony for being too curious.
Apparently he was putting his nose in everyone's business.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an eskimo dwarf with a r**... e**...?
A frigid midget with a rigid digit
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like to imagine my fingers as the races of Middle Earth...
The thumb is the dwarf because it's stout
The pinkie is the hobbit because it's diminutive
The index is the elf because it's the most dexterous
The ring is the human because they were given the most rings
And the middle is the orc... because it's the rudest
A joke to tell at DnD. Why are Dwarf pubs so bad?
Because they set the bar so low.
My dwarf friend was permanently banned from the nudist colony.
He kept sticking his nose in other people's business.
When my dwarf girlfriend got growth hormone I broke up with her.
I didn't like her any longer.
Times are hard right now. I've got a dwarf friend.
He's struggling to put food on the table.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a con-man dwarf with esp?
A small medium, at large.
An irish dwarf and a doctor walk into a bar
An irish dwarf and a doctor walk into a bar, its about 5 in the afternoon but they start putting down drinks like no other. The dwarf not wanting to risk it and drive home decides to call his wife for a ride. He tells her "i was just with a doctor, and I'm a wee bit smashed" and she tells him "Really? I just thought you were born that way."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the dwarf who was pickpocketed?
How could anyone stoop so low??
2 Word Joke
Dwarf Shortage
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
PornHub now requires all visitors to watch at least 5 minutes of dwarf m**... content before accessing other videos.
That's the bare mini mum.
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
Did you hear about that Dwarf psychic that just escaped from prison?
He's a small medium at large.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is walking down the street an sees that his favorite brothel is on fire
He selflessly runs into the flames and comes back out with a dwarf s**... worker. When asked why he rescued her, he says "I always save a little fellator"
I asked my friend if he wanted to hear the story of Bobby the Dwarf.
He said, "No thanks, I don't have much time."
To this, I responded, "Are you sure? It's a pretty short story."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back.
And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you heard the one about the dwarf who abuses his tall wife?
It's a little offensive.
But a real knee s**....
So a dwarf stumbles out of a bar...
...because he's a little drunk.
I think the dwarf in my neighbourhood admires me...
He always looks up to me.
