The Best 80 Dwarf Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dwarf jokes. There are some dwarf medium jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dwarf red dwarf puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dwarf Jokes and Puns

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

What do you call...

What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?

A small arms dealer.

I'll tell you what I know about dwarfs!

Very Little

Courtesy of Jimmy Carr

Dwarf joke, I'll tell you what I know about dwarfs!

I was driving one day and I rear ended a car.

We pulled into a nearby parking lot and out of the car I had hit stepped a little person, a dwarf if you will. He said "I'm not happy",so I asked "Then which one are you?"

The Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs were all in a hot tub. They were all feeling happy, then Happy got out.


crashed my car today...

a dwarf got out the other car and said 'I'm not happy', I said which one are you then?

So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today...

As he stormed out of his car he banged on my window screaming, "I'm not happy!!"

To which I replied, "Well then which one are you?"

Dwarf joke, So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today...

I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed...

how could anyone stoop so low

A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison.

The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall

As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

Did you hear about the man whose first girlfriend was a dwarf?

He's still nuts over her.

You can explore dwarf elvish reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dwarf elf dad jokes. There are also dwarf puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The seven dwarfs were in the hot tub feeling happy...

...so Happy left.

Met a Dwarf Today....

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

This has been seen before, but this is my favorite version.

I rear- ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Well, i couldnt believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, " Well, then which one are you?"

And thats how the fight started....

I really like white dwarf stars...

...My favorite is Peter Dinklage.

A small joke...

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
"I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

Dwarf joke, A small joke...

Crashed in to the back of a car today at a set of lights, while I wasn't really paying attention. The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said "I'm not happy" so I replied "well, which one are you then?"

A psychic dwarf escaped from prison

There's a small medium at large.

Yesterday I got into an accident with a prius...

Yesterday I was on the highway and rear ended a prius.
We both pulled over and a dwarf gets out of the prius.
He walks up to my car and says "Hey mister, I'm not happy!"
I say "then which one are you?"


Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant?

Because the steaks were too high.

I saw on the news today that a dwarf got pickpocketed. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low!

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy.

So Happy got out.

I was reading earlier about a dwarf who got pick pocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low?

I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights

He got out of his car and said "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

Why are dwarfs so good at math?

Because it's the little things that count.

What do you call it when you have sex with a dwarf who has gender dysmorphia?

micro trans action

(NSFW) What's the difference between a clever dwarf and a blue waffle?

Well one's a cunning runt...

Why do astronomers love Game of Thrones?

Because of its dwarf star.

A man accidentally rear-ended a car

The driver whom was rear-ended steps out of the car and, to the mans surprise, was a dwarf. He walks to the man and says "I am NOT happy."

The man responds: "Then which one are you?"

I bumped in to the back of a car on the way to work

A dwarf got out, absolutely fuming and exclaimed 'I'm not happy!'

To which I replied, 'Which one are you then?'

Baby you are like a white dwarf star....

Extremely hot but not very bright

I was reading in the paper...

And I saw this article about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
I thought to myself, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

Dwarf Incident

I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

I take the bus to school

So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.

This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud crash. I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.

I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.

I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:

Wow, that's a little condescending.

An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Hobbit walk into a bar...

All three proceed to eat, drink and have a good time, slamming down pint after pint of ale until finally the pub was closing. The bartender asks them how he should split the tab as it was a pretty hefty sum.

"I got this," replies the Elf as he looks at the bill. "My two friends here are always a little short anyway."

What's the most well-known dwarf star?

Peter Dinklage.

I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.

I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

7 dwarfs in bed feeling happy

Happy got out so they started feeling grumpy

What does an academic dwarf call his axes?

x and y.

What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer?

A midget spinner.

What do you call a dwarf who regularly rides the Paris Metro?

A Metrognome.

Why was the dwarfs mining business so successful?

Because his overheads were very low.

A psychic dwarf escaped from jail

The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

I got in a car wreck last week.

A dwarf got out the other car and said, "I'm not happy."
To which I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar...

The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

What do you call an Eskimo dwarf with a raging erection?

A frigid midget with a rigid digit

I was walking past a prison the other day, and

I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.

I thought to myself, now that's a little con descending.

A psychic dwarf has been on the run from the police for months...

He is a small medium at large.

A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket

He said, " How could someone stoop so low"

Times are hard right now. I've got a dwarf friend.

He's struggling to put food on the table.

I drove into a car at some traffic lights whilst not really paying attention

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He looked up to me and said, I'm not happy,

Well, which one are you then? I replied.

Did you hear about the dwarf who was pickpocketed?

How could anyone stoop so low??

PornHub now requires all visitors to watch at least 5 minutes of dwarf MILF content before accessing other videos.

That's the bare mini mum.

Two elves walk into a bar

The dwarf laughs and walks under it

A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.

The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.

He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"

(still no answer)

He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...

...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"



PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

What do you call a dwarf in a wheelchair?

A midget spinner.

Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped prison?

News headlines say "Small medium at large".

As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back.

And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."

When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice.

These times are harder on people with disabilities.

My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table

A little dwarf is sitting in a bar. He stares at his beer with a sad look in his eyes.

A strong guy appears, punches the dwarfs shoulder and drinks his beer. The dwarf starts crying.

The guy: "Come on, you wimp. A real man does not cry because of a beer."

The dwarf: "Listen. My wife left me today and my bank account was robbed. After that I lost my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so I laid down on the railroad track. The train did not come. Wanted to hang myself - the rope teared. Wanted to shot myself - I ran out of ammo.

From my remaining money I brought a beer, tipped some poison into it, and now you drank it."

The Hero: I'm on a quest to avenge the death of my Father!

The Paladin: You have my sword!

The Elf: And my bow!

The Dwarf: And my axe!

The Necromancer: And your father!

The 7 dwarfs were all in bed feeling happy

Happy got out and they all started feeling grumpy

All the dwarfs were sat in a hot tub feeling happy

So happy got up and left

This morning I was on the way to work, but I wasn't paying attention and ended up rear ending another car. The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf. He looked at me and said I'm not happy.

I replied Well, which one are you then?

I once saw a dwarf of a criminal climb down the prison wall using a ladder

And i thought to myself 'oh thats a little CONdescending

I saw my dwarf neighbour at the bus stop this morning.

He seemed to be waiting for the bus, so I said, 'Jump in, I'll give you ride.'

He said 'Go to hell', so I thought he was very ungrateful.

But then I just zipped up my backpack and kept walking.

Did you see that Dwarfism was in the news today?

It's a growing problem.

What do you call a clairvoyant dwarf that's on the run?

A small medium at large

Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother!

Elf: You have my bow.

Dwarf: And my axe.

Necromancer: And your brother.

Did you hear about the gay dwarf?

He just came out of the cupboard about it.

My smart ass mouth always gets me in trouble.

I was rear-ended, which caused me to rear-end the car in front of me. The driver, who was a dwarf, approached
aggressively after the accident yelling, "I am NOT happy."

I decided that I would try to lighten things up and answered,
"OK, I can see that, but then which one are you?"

That's when the fight started.

What small thing screams "I'm rich"?

A dwarf who just won the lottery.


Credit to u/collider1

A dwarf spiritualist broke out of prison today.

Police say there is a small medium at large.

Dwarf enters the library

"One book on discrimination of dwarves, please." - says the dwarf

"Third row..." - replies the librarian - "top shelf."

Why was the dwarf who lived in the city always on time?

Because he was a metro gnome.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dwarf pygmy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dwarf puny piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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