The Best 83 Dwar Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dwar jokes. There are some dwar elf jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dwar womans puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dwar Jokes and Puns

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

What do dwarves and hipsters have in common? (just made this joke up, help me if I can word it better)

They're underground, and it's hard to tell males from females.

or something like that =)

I'll tell you what I know about dwarfs!

Very Little

Courtesy of Jimmy Carr

Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen?

Because it has microwaves

The Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs were all in a hot tub. They were all feeling happy, then Happy got out.

7 dwarves were in a room and they started feeling sleepy.

So he left.

What did the dwarf pimp say to his working girl?

Hi hoe, hi hoe. It's off to work you go!

Dwar joke, What did the dwarf pimp say to his working girl?

Why couldn't the dwarves renew their lease on the Lonely Mountain?

It failed the Smaug test.

A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison.

The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall

As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

Dwarfs and Sexual Harassment

Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."

You can explore dwar world reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dwar pygmy dad jokes. There are also dwar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

There was a dwarf fortune-teller who was wanted by the police...

It appears he was guilty of fraud and scammed people out of thousands of dollars with false predictions. When the police put out the 'wanted' posters for him they just read as follows:

Small medium at large.

The seven dwarfs were in the hot tub feeling happy... Happy left.

Why can't any of the seven dwarfs share the same name?

Because that could create a pair o' Docs.

the 7 dwarves got into a hot tub

they all started feeling happy

so he got out

The seven dwarves are sitting in the bathtub, feeling happy..., Happy gets out.

Dwar joke, The seven dwarves are sitting in the bathtub, feeling happy...

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two; one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.

Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant?

Because the steaks were too high.

What did the seven dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up?

Well, it looks like its back to jerking off.

Seven dwarves...

sitting in a bath and they all felt happy.
Happy got out and they all felt grumpy.

Want to know what I know about dwarves?

Very little.

Heard from a friend. It's awful, I know.

Why aren't dwarves allowed at nudist camps?

They allways stick their nose in other people's business.

A dwarf who is a mystic escapes from jail.

The local authorities warned the people of a small medium at large

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy.

So Happy got out.

What did the dwarf pimp say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night?

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go

Dwar joke, What did the dwarf pimp say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night?

Why are dwarfs so good at math?

Because it's the little things that count.

I'll tell you what I know about dwarves

Very little

I saw a Dwarf who had escaped from prison climbing over a chain link fence. As he was climbing down the other side he scowled and stuck his tongue out at me and ran away...

I said to myself "That was a little condescending"

Dwarf Incident

I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me.

I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.

How did the dwarf reach the cookies on top of the fridge?

He Imp-provised.

Why do dwarfs dislike the big city?

Because of Smaug

Did you know....

Six out of seven dwarves are not happy!

7 dwarfs in bed feeling happy

Happy got out so they started feeling grumpy

What do Dwarves and Elves have in common?

Very little.

The 7 Dwarfs were thrown out of a bar.

They don't serve miners.

Six out of Seven Dwarves...

... Are not Happy.

Why was the dwarfs mining business so successful?

Because his overheads were very low.

The 7 dwarves are in the bath, all feeling happy

So he got out

7 Dwarves Sitting in a Tub

The 7 dwarves were sitting in the tub feeling happy, so Happy got up and left.

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

All the dwarves were sitting in the bath and they were all feeling happy

Happy got out.

Why are dwarves terrible parents?

They have difficulty putting food on the table.

A dwarf ant was complaining her mother about how her friends tease her for being short.

Her mom said, "Be tolerant."

Dwarf walks into a tavern and says "Ladies, I am 4'11''

..and those are two different measurements!"

A dwarf walks up to a lady and says...

I'm three foot and 10 inches...

And those are two different measurements!

A dwarf was kicked out of a nudist colony for being too curious.

Apparently he was putting his nose in everyone's business.

A dwarf walks into a bar

A dwarf walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender tells him it will be $7. The dwarf asks if he'll take $5. The bartender says "Nah, you're 2 short".

My dwarf friend was permanently banned from the nudist colony.

He kept sticking his nose in other people's business.

When my dwarf girlfriend got growth hormone I broke up with her.

I didn't like her any longer.

Dwarves may seem okay on the outside...

But 6 out of 7 aren't happy.

What do dwarves and midgets have in common?

very little

A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket

He said, " How could someone stoop so low"

Why did the dwarf get kicked out of the nudist colony?

He kept sticking his nose in everyone's business

7 dwarves in a bath and they all felt Happy

So Happy got out.

what I know about dwarves?

Very little

A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.

The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.

He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"

(still no answer)

He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...

...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"

PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.

What do dwarf and antivax advocates have in common?


A little dwarf is sitting in a bar. He stares at his beer with a sad look in his eyes.

A strong guy appears, punches the dwarfs shoulder and drinks his beer. The dwarf starts crying.

The guy: "Come on, you wimp. A real man does not cry because of a beer."

The dwarf: "Listen. My wife left me today and my bank account was robbed. After that I lost my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so I laid down on the railroad track. The train did not come. Wanted to hang myself - the rope teared. Wanted to shot myself - I ran out of ammo.

From my remaining money I brought a beer, tipped some poison into it, and now you drank it."

So a dwarf stumbles out of a bar...

...because he's a little drunk.

The 7 dwarfs were all in bed feeling happy

Happy got out and they all started feeling grumpy

All the dwarfs were sat in a hot tub feeling happy

So happy got up and left

I think the dwarf in my neighbourhood admires me...

He always looks up to me.

Why were the seven dwarves always sober?

Because no one would serve alcohol to miners...

Ask me what I know about dwarfs.

Very little.

The seven dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of 6...

One of them isn't Happy!

I once saw a dwarf of a criminal climb down the prison wall using a ladder

And i thought to myself 'oh thats a little CONdescending

I saw my dwarf neighbour at the bus stop this morning.

He seemed to be waiting for the bus, so I said, 'Jump in, I'll give you ride.'

He said 'Go to hell', so I thought he was very ungrateful.

But then I just zipped up my backpack and kept walking.

A dwarf who can talk to ghosts escaped from prison.

The police alert said There's a small medium at large.

Did you see that Dwarfism was in the news today?

It's a growing problem.

Three dwarves walk into a bar...

Bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve miners."

A dwarf spiritualist broke out of prison today.

Police say there is a small medium at large.

Dwarf enters the library

"One book on discrimination of dwarves, please." - says the dwarf

"Third row..." - replies the librarian - "top shelf."

Why was the dwarf who lived in the city always on time?

Because he was a metro gnome.

The dwarf wanted to quit his job and become a butcher...

...but the steaks were too high

A dwarf pony with laryngitis trots into a bar

and mumbles something to the bartender.

"What? Speak up, I can't hear you." she says.

The pony leans in closer and says "Sorry, I'm a little hoarse."

A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail.

The call went out that there was a small medium at large .

What does dwarf do when you throw him into water


A dwarf psychic is on the run from police.

There is a small medium at large

There were actually Nine Dwarves before Snow White met them,

They exiled Hungry after Tasty went missing.

A dwarf walks into a bar

He hits his head and falls down.


Yes, I could have made a better joke, but the bar was set too low.

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

And with the cost of living going up at the moment, they're really struggling to put food on the table.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dwar live jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dwar gnome piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes