Dvd Jokes

Following is our collection of copy puns and cds one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dvd jokes for adults, dirty television jokes and clean watch dad gags for kids.

The Best Dvd Puns

Just got scammed out of $15.

Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes." Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money.

Most of my sextapes are on DVD..

except for that gay one where I Blu-Ray.

Rick Astley is such a nice guy

He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up

I was just scammed out of 25 dollars.

I purchased a dvd titled "Tiger Woods' favorite 18 holes." It turned out to be about golf. Tell others so that they can avoid this scam too!!

Two rats sit in a dustbin and eat a DVD.

Two rats sit in a dustbin and eat a DVD.
Suddenly, one says:
- You know Stefan, the book was better. (อก ยฐ อœส– อก ยฐ)

A man watches TV

ฮ‘ man watches TV and start shouting :

Dont go, Dont do it...Dont do it...NOOOOOOO

His wife comes in and says : What are you watching there ?

And the man says : I was just watching our wedding on DVD

People say I don't have friends

They're wrong.
I have 10 seasons on DVD

I met a Muslim man who said he had the Qur'an on DVD.

The trouble started when I asked him to burn a copy for me.

I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5

It was a pi rated DVD

I bought a DVD on dealing with disappointment.

When I opened it, the box was empty.

I can't find my 'Gone in 60 seconds' dvd.

It was here a minute ago

What runs faster than a burglar with a TV?

His cousin with the DVD

Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Disney Pixar collection, except one.

Hannah Montana DVD: $15, Tub of vaseline: $3, XL box of tissues: $2, Look of disgust from the cashier:Priceless.

DVDs died beacuse of Torrents. Hence,

DVD Rip.

We had a outage at my place this morning...

We had a outage at my place this morning and my PC, laptop,
TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it
was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this
also needs power, so I talked with my wife for a few hours.

She seems like a nice person.

While watching Hangover 2 the other day, I say to my friend, "I wonder where they're going in the third one?"

"Straight to DVD."

For sale. Muhammed Ali DVD set. George Foreman Grill.

Both boxed.

What do you call a threesome with two guys and a girl?

...a DVD.

Just got scammed out of $25...

I bought a Tiger Woods DVD called "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's about golf.

We had a power outage today...

...and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & surround sound music system were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my phone battery was flat and I couldn't charge it.To top it off it was snowing outside. So I couldn't play golf and I couldn't fish. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power. So does the microwave. So popcorn won't happen.

So I talked with my wife for a few hours. She seems like such a nice person.

Two blondes are at an CD store. One is buying a DVD.

Blonde 1: Oh, what's that DVD about?
Blonde 2: It's how to repair household items!
Blonde 1: What do you need to repair?
Blonde 2: My DVD player

My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up of me making fun of her height.

So tonight I'm going to make it up to her.

I've got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show.

When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favorite takeaway which we'll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs.

Then afterwards I'm going to go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.

Why rivers are never viewed on dvd or video cassette?

Because they are always streaming.

My 4 year old son almost ordered "naughty nurses" for $14.99 from cable on-demand.

Glad I stopped him, because I already own the DVD.


Then I closed the DVD case and took it back to the library

I was told to start at the bottom and make my way to the top.

This "How To Use A Ladder" DVD likes to state the obvious.

People are always telling me I don't have friends, but they're wrong.

I have all 10 seasons on DVD.

The disc drive on my DVD player is busted. I guess you could say it has...

Ejectile disfunction.

People keep telling me I don't have friends.

That's not true, I have all 10 seasons on DVD.

I walked up to a group of girls.

I said, "Would you like to see a magic trick?"

"Yes," they smiled eagerly.

Then I handed them a David Blaine DVD and walked off.

Mario and Luigi walk into a DVD shop.

Mario holds up a movie.

Is-a that the exorcist? Luigi asked.

This is It, Luigi. Mario replied.

Silent monks dark secret

Did you know? Silent monks are allowed to talk. But only when the DVD logo hits the corner.

Me : how big is this room ?

Estate agent : it's 15 square feet

Me : I could fit at least 3200 copies of the movie ratatouille on dvd in here

Estate agent : what

Me : what

We just rented the DVD movie "Rules Don't Apply" and I put it in upside down.

It was wrong.

Nobody uses DVDs. Most of em' use Torrents.

Hence DVD Rip

So I purchased a DVD called Fyre Festival: Behind the Scenes

It cost $100 and there was no disc in the case

On black Friday I found a great deal and bought 4 Kindles online.

Today they delivered a Two Ronnies DVD.

What's faster than a black man with your TV?

His son with your DVD player!

I mean no racism in this joke*

What is faster than a black person with your TV ?

His brother with your DVD player.

I put a dvd on ebay

6 people are watching it

I bought a dvd of tiger woods best 18 holes...

I was pretty upset it was all golfing.

A man was touching his DVD shelf to find his favorite Bond.....

then realized that in fact, there were no covalent bonds.

I cant find my Gone in Sixty Seconds DVD!

It was here a minute ago...

I went to the store to buy a Nicolas Cage DVD..

when i couldn't find any i asked a cashier. He said they "only have 1 copy left", but apparently it was "Stolen"

There is an abundance of telly jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 45 funniest jokes and dvd puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any nyetflix witze you can hear about dvd.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes