The Best 85 Dust Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dust jokes. There are some dust drier jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dust dirt puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dust Jokes and Puns
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
With a broom and dust pan!
How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime?
Dust for Fresh Prints!
(i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)
The last fight I had with my wife was my fault.
She asked me what was on the tv. I replied, "Dust."
Daughter asked me, "Dad, who is your favorite Queen?"
I said, "Friddie Mercury"
And another one bites the dust.
firing squad
Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a Polak, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!" They all look and the American runs away. Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!" They all hit the dust and the German escapes. Next up is the Polak. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
Men Will Be Men
Before the King goes to war, he locks his wife (the beautiful Queen ),
in the room & gives the key to his best friend & says : If I am not back within 4 days , open the room and she is yours....
He sits on his horse & hits the road. Half an hour later he notices a dust cloud & sound behind him. He stops & sees his friend riding very fast towards him.
"What's wrong ?" King asks.
.
.
.
.
Out of breath, his friend answers, "It is the wrong Key...!! "
I decided to sell my Hoover...
Well, it was just collecting dust.
I finally threw away my vacuum cleaner.
It was just collecting dust.
So I've been clearing out my attic...
... and I've decided to get rid of my hoover- it was just gathering dust.
I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed
I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.
I listened to my friend and bought an air filtration unit
now it's just collecting dust in my basement.
You can explore dust tele reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dust vaccuum dad jokes. There are also dust puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Does anyone want to buy a vacuum cleaner?
Mine is just collecting dust at the moment.
How do you pick up a jew?
Dust pan and brush
How did Nazi's pickup Jewish Women?
With a dust pan and broom
Two dust pans were dry humping..
I was like dude, get a broom already!
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner
All it was doing was gathering dust.
Chastity Belt
So, this guy was going to Crusade. He put on a chastity belt on his wife, gave the key to his best friend and said, "if I don't come back in 3 years, set her free." He starts off on his horse. After a while, he sees a big cloud of dust behind him. Someone was riding his horse really fast. So, he waits. The horse catches up to him. It's his best friend.
"You gave me the wrong key", yells his friend.
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago...
...and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.
I recently sold my vaccum.
It was just collecting dust.
Does anyone want a vacuum cleaner?
Mine's just gathering dust.
I threw away my vacuumer today
It was just collecting dust..
The Rock and Roll Hierarchy has fallen
The King has left the building, Queen has bit the dust, and now the doves cry for their Prince.
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.
He disappeared without a tres.
Wife asked what was on the TV...
I said "dust". That's when the fight started.
What do Mexicans play at their funerals?
Another Juan Bites The Dust
What do you call a mean dust storm?
Darude - Sandstorm
The Nokia 3310 was ahead of its time...
Dust proof, water proof, had a nearly infinite battery life, indestructible, AND no audio jack!
I recently decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner
All it was doing was collecting dust
For sale: Thick layer of dust
As seen on TV.
I used to brag to my grandson about how many girls I picked up at Auschwitz.
He said it doesn't count since I used a dust pan and brush.
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
All it does is collect dust.
I recently decided to sell my old Roomba.
All it was doing was gathering dust.
So I'm selling my hoover
It's just sitting around collecting dust.
I bought a new vacuum cleaner.
The old one was just gathering dust.
Why do CSGO terrorists hate the desert?
Because they don't want de dust 2 get in their eyes.
Had to get rid of my vacuum cleaner.
It was just collecting dust.
How do you pick up a girl from Auschwitz?
With a dust pan
Yesterday I sold my vacuum in a garage sale
all it was doing was collecting dust.
For sale: Vacuum Cleaner £30
Reluctant sale, but it is just collecting dust.
I want to talk about Infinity War spoilers but...
I want to wait for the dust to settle a bit.
Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?
It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.
To show off how wealthy he was, I saw a guy inhale a line of 24K gold dust
It was really Au inspiring.
What song did Starlord recently add to his Awesome Mix?
Another One Bites The Dust by Queen
what is Thanos favorite song?
Another One Bites the Dust
Dustin Diamond walks into a bar
...and goes to jail for stabbing someone.
Richard 'Old Man' Harrison just passed away
Mortician: it's going to cost you $10,000 to put him in a casket.
Rick: best I can do is $100 cause it's just going to sit there and collect dust.
I sold my old carpet cleaner today.
It was only gathering dust.
Dustmites
What kind of dreams do dustmites have?
Mitemares
Don't get much use out of my broom...
It's just there gathering dust....
I'm trying to get rid of my vacuum.
All it does is gather dust.
I don't get the purpose of an air filter
It just sits there and collects dust.
I bought my girlfriend a vacuum cleaner
but it's just been gathering dust.
I have an old Vacuum for sale
It's just been collecting dust
One day people will land on Mars. Search for the rover, dust him off and give it the treatment it deserves.
A robo bro blow job.
When Thanos snaps...
Avengers: Oh no, he did it he managed to get rid of half the universe we did not stop him there is no hope. We are in Endgame now.
Karen: ThE VaCCinEs TurNEd My KIdS tO DuSt !!!!!
I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust.
We need a new vacuum cleaner in our household.
The one we've got just collects dust.
There are multiple reports claiming that Kim Jong-Un is dead.
Another Un bites the dust.
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner
after all, it was just gathering dust
I was very angry when my waiter served me bowl of dust. But then he pointed out, it's written right there on the menu...
"We only use the finest ingredients"
What is something you can only ever bite once?
The dust.
I got rid of my vacuum cleaner the other day.
It's been gathering dust for a while, and generally kind of sucks.
My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...
I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.
Ok , I said, Like What?
Well, first I'd like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I'd like to dust it with dextrose -
Stop right there , I said. No need to sugar coat it.
You are dust and you shall return to dust...
Which is why I don't dust - it could be someone I know.
My vacuum stopped working
... Another one bites the dust
I bought a Roomba...
and now it does nothing but sits there and collect dust.
The world was a dust cloud, then it solidified, and some fish evolved into a human
And the rest was history
I feel like my purchase of a vacuum cleaner was a waste of money
Ever since I bought all it's done is collected dust
How to start a fight with your wife
Wife: What's on the TV tonight dear?
Husband: Dust
Used Vacuum cleaner for sale.
I don't need it anymore. All it does is collect dust.
What do you get when you put cabbage in a wood chipper?
Slaw dust!
The first big fight
Wife asked her husband what on TV. He replied, "Dust."
I've decided to sell the vacuum.
It's just collecting dust.
No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting Another One Bites The Dust
The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust.
What do you call a vampire with insomnia?
Dust
Classic Rock and Roll Trivia
I learned today that 3 of the guys who performed on "Rosanna" and "Africa" also played on "Dust in the Wind". Music journalist asked them why they joined the new band and they said
"Toto? We aren't in Kansas anymore".
Even when your Roomba doesn't work anymore
it still collects dust.
The court jester decided to play a prank
So he got a bucket of coal dust from the blacksmith and rigged it over a doorway.
Soon enough Sir Lancelot walks up in his shiniest silver armor. He'd spent the entire morning polishing it to a mirror finish. As soon as he walks through the doorway, a trip wire dumps the bucket of coal dust over him turning his polished armor a dingy black. Needless to say he was storming mad, covered in filthy black dust.
It was a dark and stormy knight.
Does anyone want to buy my old vacuum cleaner?
It's collecting dust.
Not sure why I bought this air filter machine
It just sits there collecting dust.
Why did the man get rid of his vacuum cleaner?
It was just gathering dust.
I threw my vacuum cleaner out yesterday
All it was doing was gathering dust
Decided to sell my Dyson…
It was collecting dust.
A boy looks longingly to the distant islands
He wants to run away to the islands but the only problem is he's got no money. He walks over to his wise old neighbor and asks him for advice on how to get to there.
The old man says, well these woods here have magical pixies that have a special dust. If you get their dust you could just fly there! The only problem is they don't just give it out for free. You're gonna want to sneak up on 'em.
The boy nods his head in disbelief.
The old man says, So, I guess your options are you hire a boat, or catch a fairy!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dust pollen jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dust caked piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.