dumpty Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dumpty puns

Humpty Dumpty always had a terrible summer.

At least he had a great fall.

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After a disappointing summer,

Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall.

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Some amended Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dickhead."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "Fuck him, He's only an egg."

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill.
Went up the hill.
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill.
And now there's little Franky.

Old Mother Hubbard.
Went to the cupboard.
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over.
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

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Humpty Dumpty had a good Summer...

But he had a *great* Fall!

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Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

But his winter wasn't so hot...

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Why was Humpty Dumpty disappointed with winter?

Because he had a great fall.

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Humpty Dumpty

Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...

...His winter though? Absolutely awful.

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"I live life on the edge!"

-- Humpty Dumpty

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Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for a lousy summer!

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Ddi Humpty Dumpty have a good winter?

No, but he had a great Fall.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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After he fell off the wall, Humpty Dumpty fell on hard times....

He couldn't get his life together. Humpty didn't remember eggsactly what happened. He was diagnosed with amnesia and his memories were scrambled from that moment. Humpty walked out of the hospital he was all yolked up and crying. He fell to drugs and became a crack head. Humpty became a true shell of himself before he went to rehab. It was difficult for him since people were hard boiling him with questions about his state of mind. Humpty couldn't take all this stress and he started to mentally break fast. But, with help from a doctor, went back to normal and everything became sunny side up.

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Why is Humpty Dumpty so optimistic about the upcoming Winter?

Because he had a great Fall!

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What did Humpty Dumpty say to his girlfriend when she said they were breaking up?

Is this some sort of yolk?

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Did you hear about the most recent celebrity drug addict?

I Don't know how we missed it for so long, but it turns out that Humpy Dumpty was actually a crack head

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It's the first day of Autumn so let's make like Humpty Dumpty!!

And have a great Fall!

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Why did Mr Dumpty push Mrs Dumpty off the wall?

So he can see her crack.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

Because he had a miserable summer.

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What do you call it when an egg sleeps with his girlfrind before breaking up with her?

Humpty Dumpty.

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The king's ego really took a hit when he couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

His men were walking on eggshells.

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What's the definition of egghead?

What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

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How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

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What is a Mexican's least favorite nursery rhyme?

Humpty Dumpty

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What is the REAL reason Humpty Dumpty had a great fall?

Because he was high.

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Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall and sued the construction company for using poor material for building the wall

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I met Humpty Dumpty

He wasn't all he was cracked up to be.

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Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

His summer was ok.

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My friends call me Humpty Dumpty..

.. I crack myself up.

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"All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again."

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Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for a bad summer.

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You know Marie Antoinette killed Humpty Dumpty at his own wedding?

She made a French toast

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Why was the egg not allowed to go near the trashcan?

Because he tried to Humpty Dumpty.

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Why Doesn't Humpty Dumpty Believe in Anything?

Because he's an EGGnostic!

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

He died.

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What are the most funny Dumpty jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dumpty? Well, here are the best Dumpty dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dumpty pick up lines to share with friends.

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