The Best 33 Dumps Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dumps jokes. There are some dumps garbage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dumps taking a dump puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dumps Jokes and Puns
I love animals, but I'm thinking of getting rid of my pet anaconda. It keeps taking horse sized dumps.
Also, all my horses have gone missing.
You ever wonder why Sewage workers are so depressed?
They're always down in the dumps
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar... [OC]
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar, and he appears down in the dumps. The bartender notices this and asks,
"Aye, what'll ye be havin'?"
"Agua, por favor."
"Hm, whatever floats yer boat, lad."
"...Sí."
An English Guy, A Scottish Guy, and An Irish Guy
An English guy, a Scottish Guy, and an Irish guy are in a bar. A fly comes over and lands in the English guy's beer, so he dumps it out. Another fly comes and lands in the Scottish guy's beer, so he takes it out and keeps drinking from it as if nothing happened. A third fly comes and lands in the Irish guy's beer. He takes the fly out, shakes it over his beer and yells "Spit it out, ya little blighter! Spit it out!"
Just fell into a toilet last night and now I'm feeling really sad...
Been down in the dumps all day.
A young black boy walks int to kitchen ...
There he dumps a pound of flour on himself, he goes to his mother and says, " look! I'm a white boy!" His mother slaps him in the mouth and says, "go tell your Father what you jst said!" The boy goes to his fAther and says, " look! I'm a white boy!" His father takes him over his leg and spanks him hard. Then the father asked," okay son , now what have you learned?" The looks at him and says," I've only been a white boy for 8 minutes now an I already hate you black people!"
Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey got to choose first
Why does New York have all the lawyers while New Jersey got all the garbage dumps?
New Jersey got to pick first
Another from my 25+ year old joke book...
Girl 1: Whenever I'm down in the dumps I get a new hat.
Girl 2: Oh, that's where you get them!
Why do seagulls fly to the dumps along the coast of New England?
To beat the Portugees
What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?
Down's in the dumps
You can explore dumps landfill reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dumps brainless dad jokes. There are also dumps puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call a urologist who accidentally dumps his entire practice's supply of Flomax down the drain?
In trouble with his peers.
Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey have the most toxic dumps?
New Jersey got to pick first.
- from Law and Order
What do you call her when St. Nick's wife dumps him to join a biker gang?
A rebel without a Claus.
To those who feel like eating whenever they're down in the dumps..
Don't eat there.
Why does New York have so many Lawyers and New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey got first choice.
I tried this new laxative with goose feathers
But now I'm feeling down in the dumps.
I'm dating a girl called Ruth..
.. once she dumps me, I'll be Ruthless! HAAAA!!
Two men are chatting over a pint
Bob turns to John and says, "You're looking down in the dumps, what's wrong?"
"It's the wife. Since she's started this high-powered job, she's cut our sex down to 3 times a week!"
"You're lucky" remarked Bob. "She's cut me out completely!"
Why is garbage so sad?
It's down in the dumps.
Was feeling pretty down in the dumps earlier and tried hanging myself with bungee cords
Kept almost dying
A salt truck accidentally dumps salt on a man's car
When the man arrived at work late due to the incident his boss asked, "Why are you late?"
The man replies, "I was as**salt**ed."
Dumpster divers children are statistically most likely to be adopted
because one mans trash, is another one's treasure
What do you call an Arabic guy who's down in the dumps?
Saad Maan
The vacuum salesman is patrolling the streets for another house to sell to.
He finds a good looking house and knocks on the door.
"Hello?" A lady replies.
He goes inside, dumps a bag of cowdung on the ground and says, "Ma'am, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't leave the floor spotless, I'll eat it!"
"Ye want some ketchup with that?"
"What do you mean?" asks the salesman.
"We just moved in and we got no electricity."
Guy walks into a bar, orders 2 shots. Dumps one on the ground.
Bartender asks who it was for. Guy replies "my unborn child"
"Sorry to hear man, what happened?" Asked the bartender.
Guy looked him square in the eye "dried up in a sock."
The Covid 19 Toilet Paper craze was a lot like the Stock Market Crash of 1929
But this time, instead of everyone dumping their stocks, they're stocking for dumps
Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.
Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.
If you're down in the dumps and feeling really depressed, drink a gallon of water before going to bed.
It will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
A guy named Dave is hanging out with his friend Steve at a bar
Dave is really down in the dumps so Steve asks him what's up.
Dave: My wife has been making me pay for sex!
Steve: Really? How much does she charge you?
Dave: $50 every time!
Steve: Wow, you're lucky!
Dave: Lucky!? How could you say that!?
Steve: That's cheap!! She charges me $300!!!!!!!
An American goes to a restaurant in Italy for breakfast.
After the meal he looks at the coffee menu and orders an Espresso Ristretto, because the name sounds good. The server brings him a tiny coffee cup with a little coffee at the bottom. The American takes the cup, dumps the content in his mouth, makes few slushing sounds with his tongue and says to the server: "Yes, it's good. I'll have this".
I ate an entire feather pillow last week
Since then I've been feeling down in the dumps.
I need jokes!!!
I come here needing all of your help!!!
I have a close friend who recently discovered he has cancer. He has been down in the dumps the last few days, so i cracked a cancer joke and it instantly made his day. I told him i will have a cancer joke everyday for him.
So i need you all to load me up with some cancer jokes!
Thanks all!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dumps dumpster jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dumps bucket piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.