Dumped Jokes
132 dumped jokes and hilarious dumped puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dumped that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tired of hearing jokes about getting dumped, being thrown out, and being dated? This article shares hilarious and clean jokes about the kink of being dumped in life. Life isn't always fun and games, but these jokes make it lighthearted and fun! Check it out now.
Funniest Dumped Short Jokes
Short dumped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dumped humour may include short dumping jokes also.
- I dumped my last girlfriend because she was a communist. I should've known sooner. There were red flag everywhere.
- Last week, My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her Wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.
- My girlfriend dumped me today saying I was too childish But today is opposite day so it's all good
- My girlfriend just dumped me because of my gambling addiction. But I know I can win her back.
- My girlfriend told me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a believer" by smash mouth she would dump me... I thought she was joking
But then i saw her face - My girlfriend dumped me on 9/11. That's one way of making sure I'll never forget.
^^^This ^^^isn't ^^^a ^^^joke, ^^^I'm ^^^actually ^^^broken ^^^inside. - I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.
She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon. - I used to date a girl with a lazy eye... but I dumped her because she kept seeing people on the side.
- My girlfriend dumped me for an indian At least I know he's going to treat her good, I heard they worship cows
- What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
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Dumped One Liners
Which dumped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dumped? I can suggest the ones about dumps and dropped.
- My girlfriend wanted me to be more like her ex. So I dumped her.
- I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles My next dump could spell disaster
- My girlfriend dumped me because I'm unorganised. So she packed my suitcase and I left.
- I had to dump my cross eyed girlfriend I think she was seeing someone else
- I ate an entire feather pillow last week Since then I've been feeling down in the dumps.
- Got dumped because she said I was obsessed with boat puns Canoe believe that?
- Difference between Trump and a dump truck? Four Goodyears.
- My girlfriend dumped me over my love for pasta And now I'm feeling canaloni
- I once dumped a cross eyed girl... ...thought she was seeing someone else.
- A cannibal dumped his girlfriend. And then flushed.
- Why did the banker dump his girlfriend? He lost interest.
- What do you call a musician who's been dumped by his girlfriend? Homeless!
- What did Tom hanks do in the woods? He took a forrest dump.
- My girlfriend lost a toe and i dumped her I'm lack-toes intolerant
- How did Jared lose 30 pounds? He dumped his girlfriend.
Getting Dumped Jokes
Here is a list of funny getting dumped jokes and even better getting dumped puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Washington, D.C. get all the lawyers and New Jersey get all the toxic waste dumps? New Jersey had the first pick.
- If you're down in the dumps and feeling really depressed, drink a gallon of water before going to bed. It will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
- Why do Americans in Asia hate when they get dumped? They see their ex everywhere
- Why did the girl dump the crossdresser? He only wanted to get into her pants.
- What did Scorpion tell his friend after he was dumped? GET OVER HER!
- Another from my 25+ year old joke book... Girl 1: Whenever I'm down in the dumps I get a new hat.
Girl 2: Oh, that's where you get them! - Why did the oyster get dumped by his girlfriend? He's shellfish
- What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl? The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back
- Even time I get dumped, I fall back to PUBG. Because my first 6 options got closed.
- Why did the clam get dumped? Because he was shellfish!
Howlingly Hilarious Dumped Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about dumped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spilled jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dumped pranks.
Everything was going great with me and my girlfriend until she told me she used to be a Christian. I wouldn't put up with it, so I dumped her.
Call me judgmental all you want, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
I just got dumped.
That's the last time I hide in her trash can.
What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?
The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girl friend?
He flushed.
So the Polish guy found an ocean cruise for only $100...
His friend warned him that it was too good to be true, but he didn't listen. They sailed in the late afternoon, and right around dusk, someone conked him on the back of the head, took his wallet and dumped him overboard. Seeing a fellow passenger in the same predicament, he asked "Do they serve dinner on this cruise?"
The fellow replies "They didn't last year!"
I got dumped by the personal trainer I was dating.
When I asked why, she said we just weren't working out.
What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend?
Disoriented.
This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks.
I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it.
After the tsunamis in Japan a while back, my Japanese girlfriend dumped me.
It's okay though, there were plenty more in the sea.
I accidentally dumped white flour on my black labrador…
…now she's a greyhound.
My ex dumped me because of my constant Linkin Park references.
But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
I dumped my blind fiance yesterday.
She never saw it coming.
I used to date a girl that played softball...
She dumped me because I wouldn't go to second base.
One time I took a blonde girl to the movies...
We bought our tickets and waited in line for snacks. I got popcorn; she got M&M's. We got a drink to split.
We sat down during the previews. I started eating my popcorn and she opened her M&M's and dumped them all out in her lap. She carefully separated them all by color, took all the brown ones, and threw them in the trash.
"What was that about?" I asked as she returned to her seat.
She smiled and replied "Oh, I'm allergic to chocolate so I always throw the chocolate flavored ones away."
My brother ran into my room just now and said "Someone dumped exactly seven used condoms on my bed!"
I said: "Huh, that's odd."
My Girlfriend thought we should get Friends With Benefits.
I dumped her, I can't stand Justin Timberlake.
Lost three toes in a wood-chopping accident and my girlfriend dumped me
Said she's lack-toes intolerant
"Grandpa, when did you know grandma was the one?"
When her sister dumped me.
I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book.
At least I know where I stand now.
I'm single for so long
My last girlfriend dumped me on MSN.
A friend of mine hosted a party to help him get over his girl friend dumping him.
Three of us showed up. I brought a deck of cards,and suggested we play a game.
He refused, saying we needed to wait for atleast one more person to show up.
No wonder his girlfriend dumped him. He hated four play.
I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...
My girlfriend recently dumped me and this "No Tears" stuff isn't working at all.
How did Jared lose 40lbs?
He dumped his girlfriend.
There are 2 kinds of programmers
Those who understand pointers and
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
I dumped my boyfriend with a lazy eye.
Turns out he was seeing chicks on the side.
I just dumped a pair of conjoined twins.
I said, "It's not you, it's you."
My girlfriend dumped me on a fishing trip.
She left me reeling.
Did you hear?
About the cannibal that dumped his girlfriend?...
My GF lost 250 pounds.
She dumped me.
My girlfriend just dumped me because I she says I talk too much about video games...
...It's a horribl**e** thing to Fallout 4.
My ex-gf claims I dumped her for being a feminist...
Which is completely wrong! I dumped her for not doing my laundry, cleaning my dishes, or cooking my dinner.
I once dumped a cross eyed chick
I thought she was seeing other people.
My Siamese girlfriend has just dumped me...
She caught me b**... her sister behind her back.
My girlfriend dumped me because i cross dress...
So i took her clothes and left
I like my women like I like my coffee
Left in my car till its cold and g**......then dumped on the side of the road.
My girlfriend dumped me 5 days before our one year anniversary
I guess you could say we made it full circle
I dumped my girlfriend who had a lazy eye
I thought she was seeing someone on the side.
I got dumped by a woman that was a nutritionist.
She said, "Come back to me when you know what's good for you."
My girlfriend dumped me last week right after I broke my wrist.
Just when I needed her the most.
My girlfriend just dumped me. She said I had s**... like an avenger.
She really did not appreciate me interrupting the action with funny one-liners
A Scrabble game got dumped all over the interstate highway.
That's the word on the street at least.
I'm epileptic. My friend dumped a bunch of lettuce on me.
I am now a seizure salad.
I have low self esteem so I made an imaginary girlfriend.
But she dumped me...
My girlfriend asked me how my diet was going
I told her using more s**... as an incentive has been really effective thus far.
She responded quizzically, saying, we haven't been having more s**... than usual.
So, long story short, my girlfriend dumped me when she found out when I have been doing on my cheat days.
My girlfriend dumped me because I have low self esteem.
The worst part is she was imaginary.
What happened to the woman who cheated on her boyfriend who was a cannibal?
He dumped her.
I dumped the girl I met at Dyslexia Club because she used the "N" word.
v**....
I dumped a girl because she wouldn't let me read poetry.
Prose before h**....
I dumped my lazy eyed g/f
I think she was seeing someone else
My ex dumped me because I was too impatient. So to make myself feel better I got a gym membership.
I still haven't seen any results and I've been training for hours now!
I dumped my girlfriend in a restaurant
She started crying and people thought I was proposing so everyone clapped.
I used to date an English teacher...
...but she dumped me for inappropriate use of the colon.
My new girlfriend dumped me when she found out I was missing a toe
Apparently she's lactose intolerant.
I dumped a bowl of trifle over my ex wife after we had an argument.
She took me to court over who should look after the kids after we divorced.
She got custard-y
A median and a mode walk into a bar.
The bartender says, I'm glad you dumped your buddy. He's mean.
My girlfriend just dumped me because of my superman comic collection.
She said I have too many issues.
My girlfriend went to the hair salon and got rid of four inches
She got her hair colored and then dumped me.
Harrison Ford just got dumped by his girlfriend...
Now he's Hands Solo.
My girlfriend dumped me because I'm cross eyed.
I think that's why at least. We never could see eye to eye though.
My ex was really homophobic
As soon as she learned i was gay she dumped me.
I dumped my blonde girlfriend after she tried to poke holes in one of the condoms.
She might have gotten away with it had I not been wearing it at the time.
Did you ever hear the joke about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
No? How about the one who dumped his girlfriend?
Every day of the week, I teach my students a historical event through the eyes of a nursery rhyme character.
So on h**... day Humpty Dumpty dumped tea
Have you guys heard about cheat days?
Well, I kinda misunderstood that, and now my girlfriend has dumped me.
I used to date an English teacher.
She dumped me however...
She didn't like my improper use of the colon.
I went out with an English teacher once
But she dumped me for improper use of the colon...
My girlfriend of two years dumped me on her birthday. I dont know why she was so mad, I got her EXACTLY what she asked for; 10 cents and a bell...
...upon further reflection, I may have misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.
