The Best 58 Dump Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dump jokes. There are some dump toss jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dump taking a dump puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Dump Jokes and Puns
Dumping garbage
The Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up truck into a ditch. The Sheriff asks, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE.'"
I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles
My next dump could spell disaster
Why did the banker dump his girlfriend?
He lost interest.
I just got dumped.
That's the last time I hide in her trash can.
A man goes to the doctor...
and he says to the doctor: "Doctor I take a dump every morning at exactly 7:30, and I hate that it happens that early every day.
The doctor replies: "Well, you should be happy. You are blessed with amazing intestines. Some people would kill for that!"
To which the man says: "Yeah, that's great and all but I don't wake up until 8."
Had to dump my Amish girlfriend....
she drove me buggy.
A Young Man Asks His Father About His Fiance
A young man from West Virginia goes up to his dad and says, "Pa, I am really concerned about my fiance."
His dad asks him to tell him what the problem is, he says, "Well Pa, I just don't know what to do, I just found out she is a virgin."
His dad says, "Dump her, if she ain't good enough fer her own kin, she ain't good enough fer ours."
Ad in the local paper:
25 year old woman, very attractive, beautiful blonde hair, perfect measurements, intelligent, with good sense of humor and stable income - Selling dump truck.
I got dumped by the personal trainer I was dating.
When I asked why, she said we just weren't working out.
A man goes into the bathroom to take a dump.
When he's done, he realizes there's no toilet paper. Knocking on the stall next to him, he asks, "Hey, do have an extra roll of toilet paper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have a newspaper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have an old handkerchief?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have change for a five?"
Got this one from my grandpa.
My ex dumped me because of my constant Linkin Park references.
But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
You can explore dump dookie reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dump waste dad jokes. There are also dump puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I tried to take a dump on an airplane.
TSA was none too please when they had to clean out the tray
I had to dump my cross eyed girlfriend
I think she was seeing someone else
I once had a girlfriend who had a lazy eye...
I had to dump her because she was seeing other people.
What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?
When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.
I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book.
At least I know where I stand now.
What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?
When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after
Modern art is easy to understand.
If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance.
I dumped my boyfriend with a lazy eye.
Turns out he was seeing chicks on the side.
The other day I took a dump, then did some drugs, then went for a bike ride.
Then I saw an environmental poster that said "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" - so I did it all over again.
I just dumped a pair of conjoined twins.
I said, "It's not you, it's you."
A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning.
A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning when he sees an elderly man crouched by a gravestone. Not wishing to appear rude the dog-walker greets the elderly man with a cheery:
"Morning!"
The elderly man replies:
"Oh no, just taking a dump."
[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?
You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you
What did Tom hanks do in the woods?
He took a forrest dump.
today, i learned that "Donald Trump" is an anagram of "Tan Dump Lord"
...it's like his parents knew all along
My street looks like a garbage dump...
...litter ally!
What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?
The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back
What's the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?
The stale Pepsi won't write a song about me after I dump it.
Girlfriend: Would you dump me for someone more like a trophy wife?
Me: Honey, I already have someone like that!
Girlfriend: Aww, you're too sweet!
Me: Yeah, you should meet her!
I recently dated a girl with a lazy eye. Had to dump her after a week though,
I'm pretty sure she was seeing somebody on the side.
Where did the cannibal dump his girlfriend?
In the toilet
I once dumped a cross eyed girl...
...thought she was seeing someone else.
I dumped my girlfriend who had a lazy eye
I thought she was seeing someone on the side.
I got dumped by a woman that was a nutritionist.
She said, "Come back to me when you know what's good for you."
My girlfriend told me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a believer" by smash mouth she would dump me...
I thought she was joking
But then i saw her face
Son of chief: "Father, how are we named?"
Chief: "After you are born, your mother looks out of the teepee and names you the first thing she sees."
Son: "Oh wow, is that how you were named Soaring Eagle?"
Chief: "Yes, Horse Taking Dump"
After she decided to dump me, my rich ex-girlfriend has been begging me to take her back.
I explained that when her family pays the ransom she will be safely returned.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?
A washing machine doesn't keep calling you after you dump your load in it
I got kicked out of the bar for taking a dump...
Apparently they didn't need any more bar stools
I was dating a girl with a lazy eye.
Had to dump her tho. She was seeing someone on the side.
I dumped my lazy eyed g/f
I think she was seeing someone else
My girlfriend made me drive out more than 33 miles just so she could dump me on live tv.
Then her bf Chris Hansen humiliated me.
I always leave a penny on the toilet lid after I take a dump
Just so that a cent is covering the odor
Thought I had written something clever until i started telling this one and no one got it.
I made a trip to the local dump yesterday and while I was there, I noticed that one of the employees was coughing and struggling to breathe, trying to heft a bag into a dumpster. So I went over to him and asked "excuse me sir, are you alright? Do you need a hand?" And he just replies "Nah I'm used to it, it's just miasma."
What has 8 wheels and flies?
A dump truck
Three old men are sitting on a porch relaxing...
The first old man complains about having trouble moving his bowels.
The second old ma complains about having trouble urinating.
The third old man says, every morning at 7am I relieve myself, then at 7:15 I take a huge dump.
The other two men look at him and say what's wrong with that?
The third old man says, I don't wake up until 7:30.
How do IT guys take a dump?
They log out.
My wife told me that if i buy another board game she will dump me
Maybe i shouldn't take that risk
Kelloggs once had a cereal called 'Snatch'
You open it up, dump out the cereal and eat the box.
Difference between Trump and a dump truck?
Four Goodyears.
I don't know whether there is a dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour, but I'll believe it when I see it.
You can say I'm agnocchic.
Why did the girl dump the crossdresser?
He only wanted to get into her pants.
If you're down in the dumps and feeling really depressed, drink a gallon of water before going to bed.
It will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
two guys traveling out west
One guy has to take a dump. Complains to other guy, but they can't find a rest area. Finally they see a port a pot on the side of the road. Guy runs in there but shouts "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER!!" other guy shouts back "just use a dollar!!"
Guy comes out in a while and has crap smeared all over his hand. Friend says "WTH happened?" Other guy says "I only had 4 quarters"
A woman goes to dump her dads ashes in the ocean to fulfill his wishes.
When she tries to pour the ashes into the ocean, the wind blows the ash back into her eyes.
She hears her dad say "Whats wrong, you cant sea?"
Want to know how to scare burglars off?
First: Put pictures of a tiger all around your house.
Second: Put a cat litter tray in your hallway and take a dump in it.
What do you call an all male identifying, church choir?
The He/Hymns
Ba dump
Got dumped on Halloween…
Well at least she didn't ghost me
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dump dispose jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dump landfill piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.