The Best 31 Dummy Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dummy jokes. There are some dummy ventriloquist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dummy ventriloquist dummy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dummy Jokes and Puns
Two Blondes on a Street
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
Historians recently discovered evidence that Hitler was a ventriloquist.
Apparently he would sneak out some nights with his dummy who was a violinist. He would bring the dummy to small concert venues and ventriloquize the violin music, interjecting humorous anti-Semitic remarks in between songs. To avoid being recognized, we wore a fake mustache, and called his act A Doll Fiddler.
Saw an Alabama fan the other day
He was wearing a t-shirt that said "I Bleed Crimson" I walked up to him and said "You big dummy, we all do"
Do you know what happened when Chuck Norris learned CPR?
He brought the dummy to life.
Boy: "Isn't the principal a dummy!
Boy: "Isn't the principal a dummy!"
Girl: "Say, do you know who I am?"
Boy: "No."
Girl: "I'm the principal's daughter."
Boy: "And do you know who I am?"
Girl: "No,"
Boy: "Thank god!"
How Britons shower.
The same as you, dummy.
First, we get nice and wet.
Then we get the tea.
What did the dolphin say to the frog?
Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.
I shouldn't have agreed to be a cowboy's target dummy for lasso throwing practice.
How did I get roped into this?
How dare you say I'm dumb!
Would a dummy get a 'A' on there IQ test? Hmm?
What does a redneck call their cousin?
Practice dummy
What did the mannequin's friend say to him when he got an F on his English essay?
You dummy.
You can explore dummy purse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dummy phony dad jokes. There are also dummy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A Squirrel in Sitting in a Tree Eating Some Nuts When Suddenly the Tree Starts to Shake Violently.
He looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says "hey elephant, what are you doing?"
The elephant replies "I'm climbing this tree to eat some pears!"
"You dummy," says the squirrel, "this is a pine tree... there's no pears up here."
The elephant says "I know, I brought my own!"
A Catholic priest was drowning......
A Catholic priest was drowning in a ocean when suddenly a boat supported and asked the priest " do you need some help? You are drowning!""
He replied "No thank you God will save me"
Then another boat came and asked the priest " do you need some help? You are drowning!"
He replied "No thank you God will save me"
Then the priest died and asked God " God I believed in you why didn't you save me?"
To which god replied "I sent you 2 boats you dummy"
Knock !!!!
My daughter told me this one. I hadn't heard it before.
daughter: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don't know.
daughter: She was going to visit the dummy.
Me: ?
daughter: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
daughter: The Chicken
Me: :/
My ventriloquist dummy said he hates having his life led by someone else.
I said, "Speak for yourself."
Of course.
Two blondes are walking along and they find a compact (for make-up) on the sidewalk.
The first blonde picks it up, opens it and looks in the little mirror.
Oh! , she says. This person looks very familiar!
The other blonde grabs the compact, looks in the mirror and says,
Well of course, you dummy. It's ME!
How does a blind man ask for a pair of scissor?
He still can talk you dummy!
I've never felt more like a dummy ...
Than when I found out my proctologist is also a ventriloquist.
A mannequin in the store fell over and broke the glass panel..
What a dummy.
How do car companies measure the impact of a collision
A crash test, dummy
I tried ventriloquism once but everyone thought I was crazy.
Possibly because I forgot to bring my dummy.
It's time to elect a ventriloquist for President.
Right now, all we have is the dummy!
While learning CPR
Chuck Norris brought the practice dummy to life.
My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.
It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.
What do you call a cow...
...w/ no legs? Ground beef.
...w/ 1 leg? Stake.
...w/ 2 legs? Lean beef.
...w/ 3 legs? Tri-tip.
...w/ 4 legs? A cow, you dummy.
...w/ 4 legs in the air? High stakes.
...w/ 5 legs? Chernobull.
...w/ no hind legs? An udder drag.
...w/ a twitch? Beef jerky.
I could keep going but I've milked this joke dry
Little Sally comes home from school munching on a big bag of candy...
Her mother says, "Where'd you get the money for that!?"
Sally laughs and says, "Little Johnny bet me five dollars I couldn't climb up the flag pole! I did it, and I won!"
Her mother shakes her head. "You dummy! He was just trying to get a peek at your panties!"
"Oh no!" Little Sally says, embarrassed.
But the next day, she comes home with two bags of candy.
Her mother says, "Did Little Johnny pay you to climb the flag pole again!??"
"Yes!" says Little Sally. "But I sure fooled him! I didn't even wear any panties!"
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his friend the dummy.
M: Knock knock
Y: Who's there
M: Your friend the chicken!
[My 7yo told me this one and caught me off guard...]
I used to be a ventriloquist, until I lost my dummy.
Now I'm just a schizophrenic.
I went to my son and asked
What is Matthew McConaughey's favorite bread and he said
All white all white all white
And I said no you dummy
It's all rye all rye all rye
Icefishing
An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, dummy, I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".
Driving past a corn field I planted and told my wife how great it feels to see the fruits of my labor
She paused for a few seconds before replying, "(OP), those are vegetables, dummy."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dummy scarecrow jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dummy venues piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.