The Best 60 Dumbass Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dumbass jokes. There are some dumbass idk jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dumbass racism puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dumbass Jokes and Puns
Dad: what mouse walks on 2 feet?
Me:
Dad: Mickey Mouse
Dad: What duck walks on 2 feet?
Me: Donald Duck?
Dad: All ducks, dumbass
what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?
they all happened because some dumbass didn't pull it out in time.
It was an accident
A father is driving with his young son who is asleep when he bumps the horn, waking his son. The father apologizes, saying it was an accident. The boy tells him he knows it was, to which the father asks how he knew it was an accident. The son replies "well you didn't yell dumbass when you honked"
Just got called a misogynist by my sister because. I refused to watch another Ellen Degeneres comedy special.
It's because I'm homophobic you dumbass.
Puzzle
Guy 1: Dude, I finished so fast at solving the puzzle!
Guy 2: Really? How fast?
Guy 1: 5 months!
Guy 2: Dude, that's slow!
Guy 1: You're a dumbass! What do you mean slow!? It says here For 3 years and up!
What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?
The snow, dumbass.
A couple pirate jokes
(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?
Friend:ARRRMY
You: No yee dumbass, it's the coast guard.
You:What's a pirates favorite letter?
Friend:ARRRR
You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)
You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?
Friend:ARRRBYS
You: No. It's Long John Silver's.
Two men are drinking in a bar.
One of them looks across the bar and sees two old drunks sitting at a table. He turns to his friend and says, "In ten years, that'll be us."
His friend looks and says, "That's a mirror, dumbass."
Why couldn't the T-rex do any push-ups?
Because they're extinct you dumbass
I can't laugh at jokes about concentration camps, since my grandpa died there too.
The dumbass fell from a watchtower.
Why can't the T-rex do any push ups?
Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass.
You can explore dumbass atrocity reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dumbass smartass dad jokes. There are also dumbass puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you get when you blow up a police station?
Bacon bits
I came up with this joke 15 years ago when I was a dumbass teen.. maybe in poor taste with everything going on but thought I'd share.
What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?
One dumbass who never pulls out in time
I'm not condescending!
Try and count how many times I've been condescending! Exactly; you can't cause you're a dumbass.
Alphabet Pick-up-line
Me: You remind of the 20 letters of the alphabet
Girl: There are 26 letters in the alphabet dumbass
Me: Oh, I forgot to mention, U R A Q T
Girl: That still only makes 25 . . .
Me: Don't worry, I will give you that D later
A drunk man was looking confused at a hand mirror
"I've seen this person before" he said.
His drunk friend grabbed the mirror from his hand to take a look "That's me you dumbass".
Give a man a fish...
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to google, he quits asking dumbass questions.
I rushed to the clothes store when I heard all women's pants are half off.
But I saw no women with their pants down. Dumbass liars.
The president of the Philippines says 3 of 5 Americans are idiots
What a dumbass, there are way more than 5 Americans
My buddy just came to me all depressed and said My son flunked the third grade, and I just don't know how to break it to him.
So I said well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little dumbass will get it."
Could I borrow a ruler?
Sure man, how long do you need it?
About 10 minutes
10...Minutes?
Yeah 10 minutes, dumbass
Video store
I went to blockbuster today to pick out a movie I was approached by a reporter who asked if he could do a story on me, flattered I ask why not?
I read the paper the next day and see the headline "Dumbass still goes to video store." Thank god no one found out though.
Do you know why can't you eat soup in the Matrix?
Because there is no such thing as the Matrix, dumbass. It's just a movie.
Did you hear about the suicide bomber who destroyed part of his compound?
The dumbass was trying to practice.
What do you call a person who is book smart, but not street smart?
An intellectual dumbass
An almost hysterical man calls 911...
He yells, "Please come quickly! Kailey is pregnant and her labor just started now, it's really intense!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the operator.
"No dumbass! It's her husband!"
A guy told his neighbor "Close the window when you sleep with your wife cause I saw you yesterday"
His neighbor laughed and said " I wasn't even home yesterday dumbass!"
A couple of friends are drinking at a bar
One friend spots a couple of old drunks at the end of the bar and says "that'll be us in ten years".
The other friend looks and says "That's a mirror dumbass".
Look, dumbass, I've got your phone!
Owner looks at iPhone, iPhone unlocks, thief runs off with it.
Where do babies come from?
Out their baby dicks, dumbass.
When you die, you don't know you're dead. It's just painful for everyone around you.
It's the same when you act like a dumbass
Why does Africa never win the Olympics?
Because it's a continent, dumbass.
Do you know what it means when you take a sip of coffee in the morning and your eye hurts?
It means you forgot to take out the spoon, dumbass.
Where is the worst place to be during a tornado?
Inside the tornado you dumbass...
Three dumbass people were sleeping on a bed.
There wasn't enough space for the three of them. One of them moved to sleep on the floor. When he went, one of the dumb guys called him and said "dude come back! There's suddenly a lot of space here!"
The other day I failed my grade 10 English exam for the third year in a row
My friend called it quite a feat.
I smugly corrected him and said, "the singular is actually 'a foot.'"
How did that dumbass even pass??
I made a time machine to travel back to the year 2001. You see my son had his first soccer game then, and I missed it only to show up 10 minutes after it ended.
When I go back to the past I'll tell myself that it isn't worth ditching work for and that the little dumbass loses the game anyways.
A teacher ask his students, what would you pick between a bag of money or knowledge?
Student: The bag of money!
Teacher: No you dumbass! Don't you know that knowledge is worth more than money?
Student: Alright, so what would you pick then Sir?
Teacher: Knowledge of course!
Student: Well I guess we always want what we can't have.
A teacher was correcting exams from his students.
When he saw the exam of Joe, a student he hated, he gave him 0% without even reading his exam and wrote at the bottom:
"Stupid! Dumbass!"
When Joe received his copy, he was so shocked he went straight to the teacher's office and said:
"Sir, you didn't even read my exam. All I see is a 0% with your name and signature at the bottom."
Do you know why Africa is never in the Olympics?
Because Africa is not a country dumbass.
[Tasteless] Lost my great uncle in the Holocaust
Dumbass fell off the guard tower.
Who is a "dumbass"
While at college, foreign students found an online English-to-English dictionary of American slang.
Awesome read, but almost all agreed there was no need to look up for the word "dumbass" as it was completely clear.
One student persisted.
And got the answer - the dictionary stated:
"Dumbass" - the person who looks up for the word "dumbass" in a dictionary.
Our joy was limitless.
I woke up in panic and told my wife of a nightmare where my brain ran away
She said No, dumbass. It's all in your head
Simple Simon met a pie man, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pie man, " what have you got there?"
"Pies, dumbass."
What do you call a stupid fish?
Dumbass
Two blondes speaking: - My boyfriend is a veterinarian.
- Oh, did he fight in a war?
- No, you dumbass, he doesn't eat meat.
Two blondes are building a house
As they're hammering away, one blonde notices that the other is discarding every other nail she picks up.
Blonde 1: What are you doing?!
Blonde 2: These nails are no good. The pointy part is on the wrong end.
Blonde 1: You dumbass! Those are for the other side of the house!
How does a cyclops blink?
With his eyelid dumbass.
What do you call a dumbass who doesn't hesitate to speak?
dbass
Get it?
I just bought a pet cat and named it Sam.
My friend asked me what Sam is short for.
I said, "Because he's a cat, you dumbass."
A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"
Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"
"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Yeah, some idiot dumbass dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"
Did you ever notice the word dumbass upside down looks like a car??
Dumbass
Why can't a T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct, dumbass.
A man was in the middle of the ocean and about to drown.
A boat came and the man on the boat said, "Come on board if you want to live."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left.
Another boat arrived and the man on the boat said, "You are about to die, get on the boat."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left and the man drowned.
In heaven, the man asked God a question, "Why didn't you save me?"
God said, "You dumbass I gave you 2 boats."
A father meets his son's teacher.
« Sir, I'm afraid your son is a cheater », says the teacher.
« What? No ! What makes you say that? » responds the father
« Well, in the last math test, he had the same answers as his neighbour. »
« Yeah, that's a math test, duh. There's only one good answer, right? »
« Indeed, but in one of the questions, your son's neighbour answered "I don't know" .»
« So what ? »
« Well, your dumbass son wrote "yeah, me neither". »
My dumbass just pulled my phone closer to hear better...
I'm wearing blutooth headphones.
A dumbass,a suicidal person and a gamer walk into a bar
The bartender says: you are 13 why are you in a bar
My dumbass brother made a YouTube video by firing dad's taser at the camera.
What happened next will shock you.
A cop walks over to a bruised and beaten man outside of a pub.
He asks the man what happened and the man tells him this; "So I walk into the pub and sit down and as im waiting for my drink I overhear two large women talking with a strange accent. So I ask them 'Are you two ladies from Ireland?' One of them scoffs and tells me "it's Wales dumbass." So I ask again 'are you two whales from Ireland?' And thats about all I can remember."
Smart thoughts and good ideas were following John wherever he went...
But that dumbass was always faster!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dumbass severity jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dumbass illiterate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.