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Dumbass Jokes

75 dumbass jokes and hilarious dumbass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dumbass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Dumbass jokes are the best! If you're looking for a good laugh, then check out our collection of the funniest dumbass jokes around.

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Popular Dumbass Short Jokes

Short dumbass jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dumbass humour may include short moron jokes also.

  1. What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common? One d**... who never pulls out in time
  2. what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common? they all happened because some d**... didn't pull it out in time.
  3. Two blondes speaking: - My boyfriend is a veterinarian. - Oh, did he fight in a war?
    - No, you d**..., he doesn't eat meat.
  4. A guy told his neighbor "Close the window when you sleep with your wife cause I saw you yesterday" His neighbor laughed and said " I wasn't even home yesterday d**...!"
  5. Look, d**..., I've got your phone! Owner looks at iPhone, iPhone unlocks, thief runs off with it.
  6. A drunk man was looking confused at a hand mirror "I've seen this person before" he said.
    His drunk friend grabbed the mirror from his hand to take a look "That's me you d**...".
  7. My in depth research says that 73% people are good at maths The rest 37% are d**... though
  8. Give a man a fish... Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
    Teach a man to google, he quits asking d**... questions.
  9. Dad: what mouse walks on 2 feet? Me:
    Dad: Mickey Mouse
    Dad: What duck walks on 2 feet?
    Me: Donald Duck?
    Dad: All ducks, d**...
  10. When you die, you don't know you're dead. It's just painful for everyone around you. It's the same when you act like a d**...

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Dumbass One Liners

Which dumbass one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dumbass? I can suggest the ones about twit and evil.

  1. Why does africa never win the Olympics? Because it's a continent, d**....
  2. What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ? The snow, d**....
  3. People who cook breakfast in a t-shirt are d**.... Use a pan,for God's sake.
  4. What do you call a s**... fish? d**...
  5. Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct, d**....
  6. Did you ever notice the word d**... upside down looks like a car?? d**...
  7. Do you know why Africa is never in the Olympics? Because Africa is not a country d**....
  8. My d**... just pulled my phone closer to hear better... I'm wearing blutooth headphones.
  9. [Tasteless] Lost my great uncle in the Holocaust d**... fell off the guard tower.
  10. Why couldn't the T-rex do any push-ups? Because they're extinct you d**...
  11. What do you call a d**... who doesn't hesitate to speak? dbass
    Get it?
  12. How does a cyclops blink? With his eyelid d**....
  13. Where do babies come from? Out their baby d**..., d**....
  14. What do you call a s**... Blacksmith? d**...-cus
  15. What buzzfeed headliner do idiots click the most? d**....

Dumbass joke, What buzzfeed headliner do idiots click the most?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about dumbass can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dumbass puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Fun Dumbass Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about dumbass you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean racism jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dumbass prank.

It was an accident

A father is driving with his young son who is asleep when he bumps the horn, waking his son. The father apologizes, saying it was an accident. The boy tells him he knows it was, to which the father asks how he knew it was an accident. The son replies "well you didn't yell d**... when you honked"

Just got called a misogynist by my sister because. I refused to watch another Ellen Degeneres comedy special.

It's because I'm homophobic you d**....

Puzzle

Guy 1: Dude, I finished so fast at solving the puzzle!
Guy 2: Really? How fast?
Guy 1: 5 months!
Guy 2: Dude, that's slow!
Guy 1: You're a d**...! What do you mean slow!? It says here For 3 years and up!

A couple pirate jokes

(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?
Friend:ARRRMY
You: No yee d**..., it's the coast guard.
You:What's a pirates favorite letter?
Friend:ARRRR
You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)
You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?
Friend:ARRRBYS
You: No. It's Long John Silver's.

Two men are drinking in a bar.

One of them looks across the bar and sees two old drunks sitting at a table. He turns to his friend and says, "In ten years, that'll be us."
His friend looks and says, "That's a mirror, d**...."

I can't laugh at jokes about concentration camps, since my grandpa died there too.

The d**... fell from a watchtower.

Why can't the T-rex do any push ups?

Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you d**....

What do you get when you blow up a police station?

Bacon bits
I came up with this joke 15 years ago when I was a d**... teen.. maybe in poor taste with everything going on but thought I'd share.

I'm not condescending!

Try and count how many times I've been condescending! Exactly; you can't cause you're a d**....

Alphabet Pick-up-line

Me: You remind of the 20 letters of the alphabet
Girl: There are 26 letters in the alphabet d**...
Me: Oh, I forgot to mention, U R A Q T
Girl: That still only makes 25 . . .
Me: Don't worry, I will give you that D later

I rushed to the clothes store when I heard all women's pants are half off.

But I saw no women with their pants down. d**... liars.

The president of the Philippines says 3 of 5 Americans are idiots

What a d**..., there are way more than 5 Americans

My buddy just came to me all depressed and said My son flunked the third grade, and I just don't know how to break it to him.

So I said well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little d**... will get it."

Could I borrow a ruler?

Sure man, how long do you need it?
About 10 minutes
10...Minutes?
Yeah 10 minutes, d**...

Video store

I went to blockbuster today to pick out a movie I was approached by a reporter who asked if he could do a story on me, flattered I ask why not?
I read the paper the next day and see the headline "d**... still goes to video store." Thank god no one found out though.

Do you know why can't you eat soup in the Matrix?

Because there is no such thing as the Matrix, d**.... It's just a movie.

What do you call a person who is book smart, but not street smart?

An intellectual d**...

An almost hysterical man calls 911...

He yells, "Please come quickly! Kailey is pregnant and her labor just started now, it's really intense!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the operator.
"No d**...! It's her husband!"

A couple of friends are drinking at a bar

One friend spots a couple of old drunks at the end of the bar and says "that'll be us in ten years".
The other friend looks and says "That's a mirror d**...".

Do you know what it means when you take a sip of coffee in the morning and your eye hurts?

It means you forgot to take out the spoon, d**....

Three d**... people were sleeping on a bed.

There wasn't enough space for the three of them. One of them moved to sleep on the floor. When he went, one of the dumb guys called him and said "dude come back! There's suddenly a lot of space here!"

The other day I failed my grade 10 English exam for the third year in a row

My friend called it quite a feat.
I smugly corrected him and said, "the singular is actually 'a foot.'"
How did that d**... even pass??

I made a time machine to travel back to the year 2001. You see my son had his first soccer game then, and I missed it only to show up 10 minutes after it ended.

When I go back to the past I'll tell myself that it isn't worth ditching work for and that the little d**... loses the game anyways.

A teacher ask his students, what would you pick between a bag of money or knowledge?

Student: The bag of money!
Teacher: No you d**...! Don't you know that knowledge is worth more than money?
Student: Alright, so what would you pick then Sir?
Teacher: Knowledge of course!
Student: Well I guess we always want what we can't have.

A teacher was correcting exams from his students.

When he saw the exam of Joe, a student he hated, he gave him 0% without even reading his exam and wrote at the bottom:
"s**...! d**...!"
When Joe received his copy, he was so shocked he went straight to the teacher's office and said:
"Sir, you didn't even read my exam. All I see is a 0% with your name and signature at the bottom."

Who is a "d**..."

While at college, foreign students found an online English-to-English dictionary of American slang.
Awesome read, but almost all agreed there was no need to look up for the word "d**..." as it was completely clear.
One student persisted.
And got the answer - the dictionary stated:
"d**..." - the person who looks up for the word "d**..." in a dictionary.
Our joy was limitless.

I woke up in panic and told my wife of a nightmare where my brain ran away

She said No, d**.... It's all in your head

Simple Simon met a pie man, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pie man, " what have you got there?"

"Pies, d**...."

Two blondes are building a house

As they're hammering away, one blonde notices that the other is discarding every other nail she picks up.
Blonde 1: What are you doing?!
Blonde 2: These nails are no good. The pointy part is on the wrong end.
Blonde 1: You d**...! Those are for the other side of the house!

I just bought a pet cat and named it Sam.

My friend asked me what Sam is short for.
I said, "Because he's a cat, you d**...."

A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"

Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"
"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Yeah, some idiot d**... dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"

A man was in the middle of the ocean and about to drown.

A boat came and the man on the boat said, "Come on board if you want to live."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left.
Another boat arrived and the man on the boat said, "You are about to die, get on the boat."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left and the man drowned.
In heaven, the man asked God a question, "Why didn't you save me?"
God said, "You d**... I gave you 2 boats."

A father meets his son's teacher.

« Sir, I'm afraid your son is a cheater », says the teacher.
« What? No ! What makes you say that? » responds the father
« Well, in the last math test, he had the same answers as his neighbour. »
« Yeah, that's a math test, duh. There's only one good answer, right? »
« Indeed, but in one of the questions, your son's neighbour answered "I don't know" .»
« So what ? »
« Well, your d**... son wrote "yeah, me neither". »

A d**...,a suicidal person and a gamer walk into a bar

The bartender says: you are 13 why are you in a bar

My d**... brother made a YouTube video by firing dad's taser at the camera.

What happened next will shock you.

A cop walks over to a bruised and beaten man outside of a pub.

He asks the man what happened and the man tells him this; "So I walk into the pub and sit down and as im waiting for my drink I overhear two large women talking with a strange accent. So I ask them 'Are you two ladies from Ireland?' One of them scoffs and tells me "it's Wales d**...." So I ask again 'are you two whales from Ireland?' And thats about all I can remember."

Smart thoughts and good ideas were following John wherever he went...

But that d**... was always faster!

Two r**... went to the beach

The younger of the two said "This s**..., man! None of the girls are even noticing me!"
His older friend said "I tell you what- maybe if you put a sock in your swim trunks, that would help get you some more attention."
So the younger boy went to the changing room and adjusted his swimwear. They met up again about an hour later and the boy said "Man, that didn't help at all! Now they're just running away from me!"
And the older r**... said "You d**...- you're supposed to put the sock in the FRONT!"

A guy overhears two women at the bar talking with an accent

He walks up to them and asks Excuse me, I couldn't help but hear you speak, are you two ladies from Scotland perhaps? .
The women turn toward him and one of them rudely replies it's Wales, d**...! .
He says Excuse me, are you two whales from Scotland?

Dumbass joke, A guy overhears two women at the bar talking with an accent

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these dumbass jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.