Dumb Woman Jokes
25 dumb woman jokes and hilarious dumb woman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dumb woman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dumb Woman Short Jokes
Short dumb woman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dumb woman humour may include short dumb wife jokes also.
- Today a woman called me "the most sexist man she'd ever met" When will these dumb broads understand that "sexiest" is spelled with two E's and not one?
- Did you hear about the dumb woman who had... Did you hear about the woman who had two chances to get Pregnant?
She blew them both... - Man and Women in Diffrent Combinations Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy - Don't Do It! A slightly tipsy woman is watching TV and yells: "Don't go to the church you dumb b**...! Don't do it!"
Her husband askes: "What are you watching?"
She replies: "Our wedding video!"
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Dumb Woman One Liners
Which dumb woman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dumb woman? I can suggest the ones about dumb blonde and dumb mom.
- A woman was killed after walking in front of a street paver. It was her own dumb asphalt.
- Don't date an attractive woman if she ain't intelligent She'd be a pretty dumb choice
Cheerful Fun Dumb Woman Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about dumb woman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dumb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dumb woman pranks.
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
A man asks god some questions.
A man asks, God, why did you make woman so beautiful? God responds, So you would love her. The man asks, But God, why did you make her so dumb? God replies, So she would love you.
The dumb blonde
A dumb blonde comes home to her husband having s**... with another woman.
She finds her husbands gun and points it to her head and says " I can"t live after what you've done to me!!"
The husband says "No hunny don't kill yourself, we can work this out.
The blonde replies "don't worry you're next!"
dumb blonde
A blond walk into a hair salon with headphones on and sits down in a chair. The blonde asks the woman working there for a haircut. The woman takes of the headphones and cuts the blondes hair. After she is finished she looks down and to her surprise finds the blonde dead. The woman puts on the headphones and hears this "Breathe in.....Breathe out.....Breath in.......Breath out"
The clear coast
A married couple is in bed asleep when the phone rings at 2AM.
The blonde wife answers and listens for a second and then shouts into the phone, "How should I know that's 150 miles from here!!!"
At that the husband rolls over and asks "who was that?"
The wife replied, "I don't know, some dumb woman wanting to know if the coast is clear!"
Two blondes were driving down a road
After a while they see a blond woman in a field trying to row a boat. Disgusted, one of the blondes said: "It's women like her that make us look dumb." "Agreed", says the other blonde, "she's just lucky that I cannot swim, otherwise I'd swim over to her and punch her in the face..."
A wannabe rich woman once bought an expensive fur coat
A wannabe rich woman once bought and expensive fur coat which didn't sit well with her 14 year old daughter.
Mom, do you realise that some poor, dumb beast had to suffer so you could get that? She said
The woman, infuriated by her daughter's comment said 'how dare you speak about your father like that!'
Blonde lady driving down a dirt road…
When she sees another blonde woman in a row boat out in the middle of a cotton field. She slams on her brakes, fuming, and yells out to the lady in the boat HEY!! IT'S DUMB BLONE b**... LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD REPUTATION!! AND IF I COULD SWIM, I'D COME KICK YOUR a**...!!
A joke about heaven
A woman died and arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter said Yes?
I want to come in please ..... Name? ...... Smith. .... Know anyone here who will vouch for you ? .... Mmmm, my husband maybe ? Have you any idea how many men named Smith we have up here, is there any way to help identify him? Was he tall or short? No - average Smart or dumb . No - Average . Oh! This is getting us nowhere did he say anything just before he died? Yes! He said that if I was unfaithful to his memory he would turn in his grave At last! I know who you mean, we call him revolving Smith
The Blonde that wanted to prove she wasn't dumb.
A blonde woman kept getting told she was dumb because she was blonde.
She decided to dye her hair black and show people how smart she was.
She approached a farmer with a herd of sheep and asked him.
-"Sir, if i can guess how many sheep you have there, will you give me one?"
-"Well ma'am, i suppose, if you guess the exact number i'll let you have one".
-"Alright, you have 134 sheep".
-"I'll be d**..., that's exactly right, well, pick the one you like".
-"THIS ONE!"
-"If i guess the natural color of your hair, can i have my dog back?"
Blonde got tired of hearing "dumb blonde" jokes.
A blonde woman decided that she was sick and tired of white men assuming she was s**... and easy because of her hair. She decided to buy a Muslim head covering and convert instead. After some diligent Googling, she set out to the mall to buy a Niqaab.
The next day she decided to sport it at the local Mosque because she couldn't figure out where all the Muslim men went to meet women. After an unsuccessful and quite confusing experience at morning prayers, she stopped a woman on the way out of the Mosque and asked if the men didn't talk to her because they could tell she was blond.
"No, but that's a real nice ski mask!"
Women are Never Happy
A woman and her girlfriends are staying at a ladies only hotel for the bachelorette party when the male manager of the hotel says: "if you'd like ladies, you may go to each floor, see what they have to offer, and choose your rooms accordingly. Just remember, you can only go up a floor, not back to an old one."
When the get to the first floor the sign says: full of short, fat, unattractive, s**... men. "let's go to the next floor up."
The second floor sign says: Full of short, buff, attractive, dumb men. "let's go to the next floor".
The third floor sign says: full of tall, unattractive, smart men. "Let's see what's on the next floor" the bride to be says.
On the fourth floor the sign read: full of tall, attractive, smart men for all your personal desires. The ladies decide they want to stay on the fourth floor until they see that the elevator will take them to a fifth floor. "Let's see what kind of hunky men are on the fifth floor".
The fifth floor sign reads: this hotel proves that no matter what the circumstances, women are never satisfied with what's in front of them.
Guy walks into a bar.
Guy walks into a bar.
The bar is empty except for a group of blonde women in the far corner chanting. "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks"
The guy asks the barman for a beer and also asks what's all that about in the corner.
Barman says "I have no idea. They've been meeting here every afternoon for the past 23 weeks. They sit silently leaning over the table and never say a word until today."
Intrigued, the man wanders over to the group of woman. They are now hugging each other and shaking each others hands and patting each other on the back. Still chanting "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks."
The asks them "what's all the celebrating about?"
One of the woman looks at him and says very proudly "everyone is always saying how blondes are so dumb. Well today we have just proven how intelligent we are."
The man says "well tell me, what have you done to prove blondes are intelligent?"
The woman says "well on the box of this jigsaw puzzle it says 3 years or up, and we just finished the whole puzzle in 23 weeks"
So there's this blonde...
and she's sick and tired of being stereotyped as the dumb blonde, so she decides to dye her hair and move to another city. After she died her hair brown, she packs up her things and leaves for the new city. Driving down a barren country road on the way there, she starts to get really hungry. With no restaurants in sight, she pulls in to the only home as far as the eye can see, a sheep farm. Thinking a sheep would make a tasty meal, she walks up to the house where the farmer is sitting on the front porch and asks him if she can guess how many sheep there are if she can have one. The farmer agrees. The woman has a knack for counting and adds up all the sheep really quickly and says "72". The farmer says "whelp, that's right, go grab your sheep and leave." The woman picks up her choice and starts walking back to her car, but before she gets in the farmer shouts after her "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Guy's first c**... story
I recall my first time with a c**..., I was
16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of
condoms at the pharmacy. There was this
beautiful woman assistant behind the
counter, and she could see that I was new
at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I
knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first
time.'
So she unwrapped the package, took one
out and slipped it over her thumb. She
cautioned me to make sure it was on tight
and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the
store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the
door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.👙
'Do these excite you?' She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could
do was nod my head. She then said it was
time to slip the c**... on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her p**... and laid down on a desk.
'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful,
that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown.
'Did you put that c**... on?' she asked.
I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to
show her.
Typical dumb blonde...
Billy-Bob and Jimmy are standing at the base of a flag-pole, looking up and scratching their heads, when a beautiful blonde woman walks by and inquires about their purpose.
"We've been hired to find out the height of this here flag-pole, such that we might fit it properly with the flag of this great nation." Billy-Bob replied, "But we just don't have a ladder!"
The blonde looks up, turns around and walks off, only to return moments later with a screw-driver and measuring tape. The blonde proceeds to unscrew the flagpole from the base, lay it on its side, measure it, and return the pole back to its upright position. The blonde smiles at Billy-Bob and Jimmy, exclaiming happily:
"That flagpole is exactly 15 feet long!" She turns and continues on her way, happy with her effort and goodwill.
Billy-Bob turns to Jimmy, shaking his head at their wasted time. "Isn't that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
Blind, Deaf, Dumb...
The Pope was dying and his followers were given to believe that his life would be saved if he slept with a woman.
That's impossible,' said the Pope. 'I am the Holy Father and cannot contravene God's law.'
They spent a long time trying to persuade him. 'It is in order to save your life, so that you can serve God further,' they argued. And at last the Pope agreed.
'All right,' he said, 'but the following conditions must be fulfilled. In the first place, the woman must be blind, so that she cannot see me.'
'We shall find a blind one,' they answered.
'In the second place, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear my voice.'
'We shall find one who is deaf too,' they promised.
"Thirdly, she must be dumb, so that she cannot tell anyone what has taken place.
And fourthly, she must have big t**......'