Dumb Jokes
129 dumb jokes and hilarious dumb puns to laugh out loud. Read human body jokes about dumb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is full of dumb jokes that will make you laugh out loud.
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Funniest Dumb Short Jokes
Short dumb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dumb humour may include short silly jokes also.
- Schrodinger's cat was meant to prove how dumb quantum states are, yet it's widely used to advocate and explain it. I bet he's rolling in his grave... and not
- My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight.. When I went downstairs the debate was on.
- Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people. They already have enough on their plates.
- My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it. Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.
- Did you hear they're doing a remake of Dumb and Dumber? It's on tonight on every major network, tonight at 9.
- My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. She said "she didn't see me enough", and I said, "well that's dumb, now you're never going to see me".
- I got called pretty today... well actually the full statement was "you're pretty dumb" but I'm only focusing on the positive things today
- The invitations that were sent for the wedding said to bring a date. Boy, did my bride feel dumb when I brought one and she didn't.
- When you have a pet rock Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Training my pet rock
Friend: That's dumb
Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face*
Me: No Rocky, No! - Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?
You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.
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Dumb One Liners
Which dumb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dumb? I can suggest the ones about foolish and completely stupid.
- I hate it when people use "you're" and "your" incorrectly There so dumb
- I'm so dumb and out of shape My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ
- People say Cows are Dumb But I've never seen one that wasn't out standing in its field.
- Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb. But now they have power tools.
- What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas? Darn tootin'!
- I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals... but bakery robbers take the cake
- What does Black Panther say when he sees something dumb? Wakanda nonsense is this?
- How do you get a one-armed dumb guy out of a tree? Wave to him.
- My father says I'm dumb but I know... Dad jokes
- "It ain't dumb if it works" is actually pretty accurate when talking about trophy wives.
- Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym? It's a dumb-bell.
- What do you call a nudist in car? A flash drive. Christ, I'm dumb
- I just dumbed my midget girlfriend We just weren't seeing eye to eye
- Do you know how to make a dumb person curious? No, how?
-
I'll tell you tomorrow. - Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
Your Dumb Jokes
Here is a list of funny your dumb jokes and even better your dumb puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Juwan Howard needed to slap someone for calling a dumb timeout Maybe he should have started with Chris Webber
- A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband She asks, "Do I look fat in this dress?"
He replies, "Do I look dumb in this shirt?" - I used to think that I was really good at playing dumb, now I'm not sure I was ever playing.
- Volkswagon were pretty dumb to name one of their cars 'Golf' Why name a car after a slow and boring sport where the hardest part is driving
- So dumb it makes me laugh every time i hear it me: knock knock
them: who's there
me: Dwayne
them: Dwayne who
me: dwayne the bathtub! i'm dwowning! - What do you call a dish that makes your taste buds explode? A bomb appetit...
My friend forced me to tell the world about my dumb joke.
God, I'm awful, sorry about that! - Hole in the Ground My friend said to me, "I can't believe a dumb hole in the ground filled with water is working this good."
I know he means well. - Chess players say checkers players are dumb. But I like checkers... Plus the red ones taste good.
Cr - Abcdefghijklmntofsuprise! I️ know it's dumb but I️ thought of that all by myself and it made me chuckle.
- Does heavy lifting make you dumb? Yes
Cause counting to 10 has never been this hard before
Dumb Blonde Jokes
Here is a list of funny dumb blonde jokes and even better dumb blonde puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments.
Dumb Dad Jokes
Here is a list of funny dumb dad jokes and even better dumb dad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My dads favorite dumb joke Astronauts land on a planet inhabited by beautiful women who are10 feet tall. They approach the women and say "take me to your ladder, ill see your leader later"
- Did you here about the support group for dads who make dumb jokes around their families? Yeah, it's "fo' pas".
- What do you get when you combine Mum and Dad? Dum(b) and Mad.
Dumb Husband Jokes
Here is a list of funny dumb husband jokes and even better dumb husband puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the dumb wife say when asked to describe her husband in 2 words..?? Beats me.
Cheeky Dumb Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about dumb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stupidity jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dumb pranks.
dumb blonde
A blond walk into a hair salon with headphones on and sits down in a chair. The blonde asks the woman working there for a haircut. The woman takes of the headphones and cuts the blondes hair. After she is finished she looks down and to her surprise finds the blonde dead. The woman puts on the headphones and hears this "Breathe in.....Breathe out.....Breath in.......Breath out"
My visit to the patent office
I went into a patent office and told the clerk how I had an idea for a folding bottle, it's called a fottle.
She said that it was ridiculous, so I told her about my idea for a folding carton, it's called a farton.
She said that too is a dumb idea. I said well then I am not even going to tell you about my idea for a folding bucket!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American customs agent and an Canadian customs agent are having a beer after a long week.
The Canadian says "Man, you wouldn't believe this dumb American r**... trying to cross the border. I ask him 'Do you have any weapons, son?' and the kid says "Sure, whatcha need?'"
The American scoffs. "I got you beat. About three weeks ago, this dumb Canadian punk comes down. I ask him 'Are you carrying any fruits or vegetables?' The kid thinks for a second and says 'Is m**... a vegetable?'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once there were three fish who lived in a market.
Their names were Red Fish, Blue Fish, and Green Fish.
One day the Red Fish said to the Blue Fish: "Hey, I think that Green Fish is stinky."
The Blue Fish said: "You're right, that Green Fish is stinky."
And the Green Fish said: "Sorry guys, I f**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last week I had to put down my dog. It was sad.
I said, you are one dumb dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blind man walks into a bar...
...and after managing to find himself an empty seat at the bar he orders a pint.
Bartender fills the pint and as it is being placed in front of the blind man says, "hey Bartender, wanna hear a dumb blonde girl joke?"
Bar goes silent.
"Hey man," the Bartender says, "you're blind so there is a few things you should know before you tell your joke. You are in a d**... bar, the only one in town actually, and many of us are blonde. I am blonde. Sid the biker chick next to you is blonde and so is her girlfriend. The bouncer is also blonde along with the 2 chicks behind you playing pool. Do you really want to tell that joke?"
"Nah, you're right." says the blind man, "I would have to explain it too many times."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a dumb seal?
An imbeseal
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny is at Toys R Us...
Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny responds, "You're s**..., neither is the car..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Polish joke
A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb p**... by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:
"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."
The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb p**...!".
Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"
The counterman says "This is a hardware store."
I've got a horrible memory.
I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.
A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call the kids claiming "We don't need no education"?
Comfortably Dumb
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What do you call a s**... fish?
A dumb bass
I'll sea myself trout
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man asks god...
Man:"Why did you make women so beautiful?"
God:"So you would love her."
Man:"Then why did you make her so dumb?"
God:"So she would love you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is flour so dumb?
It's i**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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There's only one group of people dumb enough to believe in astrology...
Scorpios
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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2 farmers sitting on a porch just passin the time, shootin the s**...t
when a m**... plant yells out of no where:
"You big dumb dark cow!"
One of the farmer turns to his friend and says
"look at the p**... calling the cattle black"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus are playing a card game. Who wins?
The dumb blonde does. The other two don't exist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man asks god some questions.
A man asks, God, why did you make woman so beautiful? God responds, So you would love her. The man asks, But God, why did you make her so dumb? God replies, So she would love you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A student asked me today if there was such a thing as a s**... question.
Of course not, I said. What a dumb thing to ask.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Adam asked God.....
"God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?"
"So that you would like her."
"But why you make her so dumb too?"
"So that she would like you too."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman was killed after walking in front of a street paver.
It was her own dumb asphalt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall
But it was his dumb asphalt
How does Dumbo fly?
He just does. The mechanics of it are ear elephant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Look, d**..., I've got your phone!
Owner looks at iPhone, iPhone unlocks, thief runs off with it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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There's been a series of senseless killings near my home this week.
The victims were all deaf, dumb or blind
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The principal is so dumb a little boy says.
A girl next to him says do you know who I am?
No The boy says
I'm the principals daughter the girl replies
Do you know who I am? The boy asks
No the girl says, curious of who he could be.
Good. The boy says, and walks away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I s**... up when I paved my private road...
I guess it's my own dumb asphalt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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All the victims were deaf, dumb or blind...
...these are senseless killings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Three d**... people were sleeping on a bed.
There wasn't enough space for the three of them. One of them moved to sleep on the floor. When he went, one of the dumb guys called him and said "dude come back! There's suddenly a lot of space here!"
When you're trying to slingshot around jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons...
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
An alien walks into a human brain shop
Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is a "d**..."
While at college, foreign students found an online English-to-English dictionary of American slang.
Awesome read, but almost all agreed there was no need to look up for the word "d**..." as it was completely clear.
One student persisted.
And got the answer - the dictionary stated:
"d**..." - the person who looks up for the word "d**..." in a dictionary.
Our joy was limitless.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher tells a class that nobody is dumb.
She then says to the class, "Stand up if you think you are dumb."
Everyone remains seated.
"Anyone?"
Finally, One student in the back of the class decides to stand up.
"Johnny! Do you really think you're dumb?"
"No, teacher." He replies, "But I hate to see you standing alone!"
Another Blonde Joke
A blonde, an American, and a Russian are in a bar, bragging about why they're better. The Russian says, "We were the first into space!" The American says, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde says,"Well we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The American says,"You know you can't do that, right? You'll burn up before you get there." The blonde says,"Well we're not dumb! We're going to go at night!"
ME: I trained this chicken to talk.
HER: Let's hear then.
ME: What's a male deer called?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
HER: This is dumb.
CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of blonde girls overhear a guy saying that all blondes are dumb
So one of the girls says: "no we're not, we'll prove it!"
The guy: "Ok what's 3 + 2?"
One of the blondes: "7"
After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.
The guy: "ok you get a second chance, what's 2+4?"
One of the blondes: "6"
After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.
Since people are translating their native jokes, I hope no one has posted this yet
There were 3 boys who were being chased by the police. John the wise, Peter the smart, and Jose the dumb.
As the police were gaining on them, they each decided to hide in a box in an alley way.
The policeman ran up to John's Box and kicked it.
Thinking quickly, John said "Woof woof"
The policeman shrugged and said "Ohhh, its just a dog"
He then went up Peter's box, and kicked it.
Peter followed John's example, "Meow meow"
The Policeman shrugged again and said "Ohhh, its just a cat"
He then went to the last box, which hid Jose and kicked it
"Potato Potato"
A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.
Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes in for hernia surgery
After the operation, the doctor meets him in the recovery room.
"Sir, the operation was successful but I have bad news. We accidentally removed your t**... during the surgery."
The man was immediately furious.
"You b**...! You dumb idiots! I'll kill you for this!"
The surgeon calmly replies "Now sir, you don't have the b**...."
A dumb one, ever for already low dad-joke expectations...
True story (makes this even more pathetic) that happened last night:
Wife: The fan is too high
Me: It's like that so we don't bump our heads
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My sister is so dumb, she tells everyone she is bipolar
Because she is working at two different s**... clubs.
Amongst the dumbest things I've ever purchased...
was a 2020 year planner.
an old arabic joke my uncle told me
a dumb guy fell down and hurt his back badly, he had to go to the hospital
the doctor told him: "just take this cream and apply it to the area of injury"
he went home and rubbed the cream on the staircase.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
99.9% of the population is dumb.
Fortunately I belong to the 1% of smart people.
So I held a race between my farmhands. They ran equally fast, and demanded I determine the winner.
However, they both threatened to leave the farm if I declared the other the winner. I felt unable to make a decision. As a matter of fact, my hands were tied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some y**... had the audacity to say us Texans were dumb for not having Snow Tires. Bless their heart.
We may not have as much experience as y'all Yanks when it comes to snow, but after tinkering with it a couple minutes I think all of us Texans can agree to try and make a tire out of snow is a pretty dumb idea.
We'll keep our tires made of rubber, thanks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub...
... when an irate Irishman stands up: "You're making' out we're all dumb and s**.... I oughta punch you in the nose." "I'm sorry sir, I..." "Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on your knee."
There was a blonde ....
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.
How does Dumbledore get down a hill?
Running....
J.K. Rolling
Mom sends her son out to play fetch with the dog. 5 minutes later both the son and the dog are back inside, looking grumpy.
"What happened?" Asks the mom.
"We lost the ball." says the boy.
"Oh no, where?" The dog replies: "Roof, roof"
Stunned, the mother says, "Did the dog just say it's on the roof?"
"No," the boy scoffs. "I mean the ball is up there, but the dumb dog's not talking."
The dog rolls its eyes at the mother and says, "Well, if your kid had a better arm I wouldn't have to."
Homemade and 100% organic
Since it's my cake day, I'll give y'all a joke that I created by myself. One that tickles me.
Two car salesman were talking to each other about their sales. They were really impressed with the commissions they were making with electric cars. Then, one of them asked, "Why doesn't Dodge sell any electric vehicles?". The other salesman said, "That would be dumb. If they sold electric vehicles, they would have to give away a free Dodge Charger with each purchase!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sometimes when I'm bored I put makeup and little wigs on m**... cigarettes.
That might sound dumb to you, but I think it's pretty dope.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 guys sitting in a bar watching the news.
A news story comes on about someone threatening to jump off a building. o**... turns to the other and says, " I'll bet you $500.00 he will jump". The other guy says, "You're on"!
A few minutes pass and the guy on TV jumps.
The loser of the bet says, " Well, here is your $500.00. I lost fair and square". The winner says, " Thanks, but I can't take your money. I saw this on the news earlier today".
The loser says, " I saw it too. But I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to do it again".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, a husband said to his wife, I don't know how you got to be so beautiful and so dumb at the same time.
The wife responded, Allow me to explain…
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. He made me dumb so I would be attracted to you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
God vs Satan
In contrast to popular beliefs, Heaven and h**... dont lie above each other, but next to each other.
Because God didnt want people be tempted to cross sides, he came to an agreement with Satan: they would have a wall build and split the bill afterwards.
Ofcourse as you could imagin when the wall was build, Satan plays deaf and dumb when it comes to the bill.
After some time God is fed up with Satan's behaviour and confronts him. "If you dont pay your share, i'll sue you!"
Satan shrugs and laughs: "what are you going to do? I got all the lawyers here"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I used to think that crystal girls where s**....
All their talk about how crystals would "align their chakras and give them powers" made me think they were dumb.
How could a rock give them powers?
But then I tried crack.
What's the dumbest thing you did as a kid?
You wished you were an adult.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wish I could be dumb for one day...
...being dumb everyday simply s**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand how so many people struggle to find basic words in the dictionary.
I had no less than 5 people tell me that "gullible" is not in the dictionary. The smug a**... just laughed when I proved their dumb a**... wrong.
