Dumb Jokes

154 dumb jokes and hilarious dumb puns to laugh out loud. Read human body jokes about dumb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is full of dumb jokes that will make you laugh out loud.

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Funniest Dumb Short Jokes

Short dumb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dumb humour may include short silly jokes also.

  1. I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes. Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
  2. A man asks god... Man:"Why did you make women so beautiful?"
    God:"So you would love her."
    Man:"Then why did you make her so dumb?"
    God:"So she would love you."
  3. Yo mama so dumb that she spent 5 hours staring at a glass of orange juice because it said 'concentrate' on the package.
  4. Schrodinger's cat was meant to prove how dumb quantum states are, yet it's widely used to advocate and explain it. I bet he's rolling in his grave... and not
  5. My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight.. When I went downstairs the debate was on.
  6. Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people. They already have enough on their plates.
  7. My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it. Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.
  8. Did you hear they're doing a remake of Dumb and Dumber? It's on tonight on every major network, tonight at 9.
  9. My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. She said "she didn't see me enough", and I said, "well that's dumb, now you're never going to see me".
  10. I got called pretty today... well actually the full statement was "you're pretty dumb" but I'm only focusing on the positive things today

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Dumb One Liners

Which dumb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dumb? I can suggest the ones about foolish and completely stupid.

  1. Why are Americans so dumb? Because they shoot the ones that go to school
  2. I hate it when people use "you're" and "your" incorrectly There so dumb
  3. My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall But it was his dumb asphalt
  4. 99.9% of people are dumb Fortunately, I belong to 1% of smart people
  5. I'm so dumb and out of shape My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ
  6. What do you call a person with no body and no nose Nobody knows
  7. Yo momma is so dumb It took her 9 months to come up with a joke.
  8. 60% of people in the world are dumb luckily I am in the 30%
  9. My dad accidentally ordered the wrong paving materials Now That's his own dumb asphalt.
  10. What did 0 say to 8?

    Nice belt!
  11. There's only one group of people dumb enough to believe in astrology... Scorpios
  12. What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas? Cancer.
  13. Yo momma is so dumb That she tried to drown herself on a pool table
  14. 99.9% of the population is dumb. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of smart people.
  15. People say Cows are Dumb But I've never seen one that wasn't out standing in its field.

Your Dumb Jokes

Here is a list of funny your dumb jokes and even better your dumb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes And thought, "Wow, dogs are so dumb!" Then i realised i just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 minutes.
  • Adam asked God..... "God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?"
    "So that you would like her."
    "But why you make her so dumb too?"
    "So that she would like you too."
  • Yo mama so dumb, she tripped over the wireless network.
  • My teacher said our class was do dumb not even 80% of us would pass the test She's the dumb one, we don't even have that much people in our class!
  • Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a kernel panic was a kfc that was out of chicken.
  • What do you call a dumb seal? An imbeseal
  • Your momma so dumb she tried to climb Mountain Dew
  • I got ketchup on my eyes. Ya know, in Heinzsight, that was a dumb move.
  • Last week I had to put down my dog. It was sad. I said, you are one dumb dog.
  • Yo momma so dumb when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

So Dumb Jokes

Here is a list of funny so dumb jokes and even better so dumb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A woman was killed after walking in front of a street paver. It was her own dumb asphalt.
  • My girlfriend left me because she said I talk about video games too much.... I told her that's a dumb reason to Fallout 4.
  • Dumb joke What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
  • Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb. But now they have power tools.
  • Today a woman called me "the most sexist man she'd ever met" When will these dumb broads understand that "sexiest" is spelled with two E's and not one?
  • The invitations that were sent for the wedding said to bring a date. Boy, did my bride feel dumb when I brought one and she didn't.
  • When you have a pet rock Friend: What are you doing?
    Me: Training my pet rock
    Friend: That's dumb
    Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face*
    Me: No Rocky, No!
  • These Blondes Are Dumb when i was penetrating them, they kept asking me 'is it in yet?'
  • 9/10 people are Dumb It's great to be the 1%
  • Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?
    You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.
Dumb joke, Why is working at Amazon <a href="/warehouse-jokes.html" title="Warehouse jokes">warehouse</a> like

Dumb Blond Jokes

Here is a list of funny dumb blond jokes and even better dumb blond puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.
    Blondes may be dumb but they still know how to use their husband~
  • A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus are playing a card game. Who wins? The dumb blonde does. The other two don't exist.
  • A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop... He says: You were going 95km/h.
    The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour.
  • Why did the blonde's belly button hurt? Blonde guys are dumb too
  • Another dumb blonde joke Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
    For throwing away all the W's.
  • It must be easy for a blonde to play dumb. Even she doesn't know she's pretending.
  • A dumb blonde wearing headphones walks into a hair salon...
  • What does a blonde playing the drums sound like? Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick...
  • What do you call a dumb brunette? A dirty blonde.
  • I'm not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments.

Dumb Blonde Jokes

Here is a list of funny dumb blonde jokes and even better dumb blonde puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a Dumb Blonde in a press conference. Donald Trump.
  • A dumb blonde, smart blonde, and the Easter Bunny are walking down the street. There is a $100 bill on the ground. Who picks it up? The dumb blonde. The other two are imaginary.
  • blonde joke Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes? it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!
  • I asked this blond if she wanted to go out last month… she said Can I think about it? She's been think about it for a month now, blonds really are dumb.
  • Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
    A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
  • How are dumb blondes like peanut butter? They spread for the bread
  • A dumb blond, a smart blonde, and the easter bunny all jump off a cliff. Who lands first? The dumb blonde. The smart blonde and easter bunny don't exist.
  • How to find a dumb blonde's IQ Take bra size and divide it by the number of times they say awesome in a sentence.
    Stolen from my hot metals teacher.
  • A smart blonde, a dumb blonde and Santa Claus all jump from the golden gate bridge at the same time. Who makes the biggest splash? The dumb blonde, because the others don't exist!
  • A dumb blonde a smart blonde and santa clause all jump off of a building at the same time. Who lands first? The dumb blonde the other two dont exist
Dumb joke, A dumb blonde a smart blonde and santa clause all jump off of a building at the same time. Who lands

Cheeky Dumb Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about dumb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stupidity jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dumb pranks.

My visit to the patent office

I went into a patent office and told the clerk how I had an idea for a folding bottle, it's called a fottle.
She said that it was ridiculous, so I told her about my idea for a folding carton, it's called a farton.
She said that too is a dumb idea. I said well then I am not even going to tell you about my idea for a folding bucket!

Once there were three fish who lived in a market.

Their names were Red Fish, Blue Fish, and Green Fish.
One day the Red Fish said to the Blue Fish: "Hey, I think that Green Fish is stinky."
The Blue Fish said: "You're right, that Green Fish is stinky."
And the Green Fish said: "Sorry guys, I f**...."

A blind man walks into a bar...

...and after managing to find himself an empty seat at the bar he orders a pint.
Bartender fills the pint and as it is being placed in front of the blind man says, "hey Bartender, wanna hear a dumb blonde girl joke?"
Bar goes silent.
"Hey man," the Bartender says, "you're blind so there is a few things you should know before you tell your joke. You are in a d**... bar, the only one in town actually, and many of us are blonde. I am blonde. Sid the biker chick next to you is blonde and so is her girlfriend. The bouncer is also blonde along with the 2 chicks behind you playing pool. Do you really want to tell that joke?"
"Nah, you're right." says the blind man, "I would have to explain it too many times."

An accordion player goes to a bar

After a long night at performing at a local restaurant, an accordion player goes to have a few late night drinks. He drives up to the bar and goes inside. After finishing his first drink, he realizes he left his car unlocked! He rushed outside, opened the trunk of his car.....but it was too late....a 2nd accordion was already there!

What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas?

Darn tootin'!

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us...

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny responds, "You're s**..., neither is the car..."

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb p**... by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:
"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."
The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb p**...!".
Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"
The counterman says "This is a hardware store."

I've got a horrible memory.

I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.

What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

The dumb blonde

A dumb blonde comes home to her husband having s**... with another woman.
She finds her husbands gun and points it to her head and says " I can"t live after what you've done to me!!"
The husband says "No hunny don't kill yourself, we can work this out.
The blonde replies "don't worry you're next!"

Three Blondes

Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.
1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!
2nd blonde: No, s**..., they're wolf tracks!
3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!
Then they got hit by a train.

A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...

She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."

A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project

For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.

What do you call a s**... fish?

A dumb bass
I'll sea myself trout

Some people tell me I have a superiority complex.

But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it.

My mom dropped this one on me

Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."

A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband

She asks, "Do I look fat in this dress?"
He replies, "Do I look dumb in this shirt?"

2 farmers sitting on a porch just passin the time, shootin the s**...t

when a m**... plant yells out of no where:
"You big dumb dark cow!"
One of the farmer turns to his friend and says
"look at the p**... calling the cattle black"

Son: "I got expelled"

Dad: "How?"
Son: "I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."
Dad: "That's pretty dumb but-"
Son: "Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."
Dad: "Ok?"
Son: "And rub 1 out."

A man asks god some questions.

A man asks, God, why did you make woman so beautiful? God responds, So you would love her. The man asks, But God, why did you make her so dumb? God replies, So she would love you.

A student asked me today if there was such a thing as a s**... question.

Of course not, I said. What a dumb thing to ask.

Look, d**..., I've got your phone!

Owner looks at iPhone, iPhone unlocks, thief runs off with it.

I used to think that I was really good at playing dumb,

now I'm not sure I was ever playing.

When you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons...

Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.

An alien walks into a human brain shop

Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.

Who is a "d**..."

While at college, foreign students found an online English-to-English dictionary of American slang.
Awesome read, but almost all agreed there was no need to look up for the word "d**..." as it was completely clear.
One student persisted.
And got the answer - the dictionary stated:
"d**..." - the person who looks up for the word "d**..." in a dictionary.
Our joy was limitless.

Another Blonde Joke

A blonde, an American, and a Russian are in a bar, bragging about why they're better. The Russian says, "We were the first into space!" The American says, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde says,"Well we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The American says,"You know you can't do that, right? You'll burn up before you get there." The blonde says,"Well we're not dumb! We're going to go at night!"

ME: I trained this chicken to talk.

HER: Let's hear then.
ME: What's a male deer called?
ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
HER: This is dumb.
CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.

A group of blonde girls overhear a guy saying that all blondes are dumb

So one of the girls says: "no we're not, we'll prove it!"
The guy: "Ok what's 3 + 2?"
One of the blondes: "7"
After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.
The guy: "ok you get a second chance, what's 2+4?"
One of the blondes: "6"
After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.

Since people are translating their native jokes, I hope no one has posted this yet

There were 3 boys who were being chased by the police. John the wise, Peter the smart, and Jose the dumb.
As the police were gaining on them, they each decided to hide in a box in an alley way.
The policeman ran up to John's Box and kicked it.
Thinking quickly, John said "Woof woof"
The policeman shrugged and said "Ohhh, its just a dog"
He then went up Peter's box, and kicked it.
Peter followed John's example, "Meow meow"
The Policeman shrugged again and said "Ohhh, its just a cat"
He then went to the last box, which hid Jose and kicked it
"Potato Potato"

A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.

Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.

You may not be the dumbest person on Earth,

but you better hope he doesn't die.

Think of how dumb the average person is

Then remember half the world are dumberer then that.

A man goes in for hernia surgery

After the operation, the doctor meets him in the recovery room.
"Sir, the operation was successful but I have bad news. We accidentally removed your t**... during the surgery."
The man was immediately furious.
"You b**...! You dumb idiots! I'll kill you for this!"
The surgeon calmly replies "Now sir, you don't have the b**...."

My sister is so dumb, she tells everyone she is bipolar

Because she is working at two different s**... clubs.

So I held a race between my farmhands. They ran equally fast, and demanded I determine the winner.

However, they both threatened to leave the farm if I declared the other the winner. I felt unable to make a decision. As a matter of fact, my hands were tied.

Some y**... had the audacity to say us Texans were dumb for not having Snow Tires. Bless their heart.

We may not have as much experience as y'all Yanks when it comes to snow, but after tinkering with it a couple minutes I think all of us Texans can agree to try and make a tire out of snow is a pretty dumb idea.
We'll keep our tires made of rubber, thanks.

How does Dumbledore get down a hill?

J.K. Rolling

Homemade and 100% organic

Since it's my cake day, I'll give y'all a joke that I created by myself. One that tickles me.
Two car salesman were talking to each other about their sales. They were really impressed with the commissions they were making with electric cars. Then, one of them asked, "Why doesn't Dodge sell any electric vehicles?". The other salesman said, "That would be dumb. If they sold electric vehicles, they would have to give away a free Dodge Charger with each purchase!"

One day, a husband said to his wife, I don't know how you got to be so beautiful and so dumb at the same time.

The wife responded, Allow me to explain…
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. He made me dumb so I would be attracted to you.

God vs Satan

In contrast to popular beliefs, Heaven and h**... dont lie above each other, but next to each other.
Because God didnt want people be tempted to cross sides, he came to an agreement with Satan: they would have a wall build and split the bill afterwards.
Ofcourse as you could imagin when the wall was build, Satan plays deaf and dumb when it comes to the bill.
After some time God is fed up with Satan's behaviour and confronts him. "If you dont pay your share, i'll sue you!"
Satan shrugs and laughs: "what are you going to do? I got all the lawyers here"

I used to think that crystal girls where s**....

All their talk about how crystals would "align their chakras and give them powers" made me think they were dumb.
How could a rock give them powers?
But then I tried crack.

What's the dumbest thing you did as a kid?

You wished you were an adult.

I wish I could be dumb for one day...

...being dumb everyday simply s**...!

I don't understand how so many people struggle to find basic words in the dictionary.

I had no less than 5 people tell me that "gullible" is not in the dictionary. The smug a**... just laughed when I proved their dumb a**... wrong.

If Juwan Howard needed to slap someone for calling a dumb timeout

Maybe he should have started with Chris Webber

Dumb joke, If Juwan Howard needed to slap someone for calling a dumb timeout

jokes about dumb