Dumb Blonde Jokes

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.
First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead.
She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.

A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.
“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.”
And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right!
So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

A man and a blonde.

A man who had heard way to many 'blonde jokes' was sitting next to a blonde woman. The man decided to play a prank on the blonde since he assumed she was just a dumb blonde.
He told her: " Hey, let's play a game. I'm going to ask you a question and if you answer wrong then you give me 50 cents. And then you ask me a question and if I answer wrong, I give you 50 dollars."
She agreed. And then the man said ladies first.
The blonde asked the man: " What animal has 7 heads and 3 legs?"
The man couldn't think of an answer so he pulled up his laptop and searched the internet for the answer. He couldn't find it so he gave up and gave the blonde 50 dollars. Then he asked her, "so whats the answer?"
She said, "I don't know" and gave the man 50 cents.

Gambling with Blondes

There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.
The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told
her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play the game.
The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several minutes looking up everything he could on his laptop and then even placed numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.
The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"
The blonde glanced at him with a smile on her face and handed him a $5 bill.

Typical dumb blonde...

Billy-Bob and Jimmy are standing at the base of a flag-pole, looking up and scratching their heads, when a beautiful blonde woman walks by and inquires about their purpose.
"We've been hired to find out the height of this here flag-pole, such that we might fit it properly with the flag of this great nation." Billy-Bob replied, "But we just don't have a ladder!"
The blonde looks up, turns around and walks off, only to return moments later with a screw-driver and measuring tape. The blonde proceeds to unscrew the flagpole from the base, lay it on its side, measure it, and return the pole back to its upright position. The blonde smiles at Billy-Bob and Jimmy, exclaiming happily:
"That flagpole is exactly 15 feet long!" She turns and continues on her way, happy with her effort and goodwill.
Billy-Bob turns to Jimmy, shaking his head at their wasted time. "Isn't that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

An entrepreneurial blonde is looking for some extra cash

So she goes door to door asking people if they have any odd jobs they need done. Around the third house or so, a sharply dressed man answers the door. She inquires about the jobs, and the wheels in his head start turning. He's been meaning to paint the massive porch that takes up the entire rear of his massive house, but such a job would take at least 3 hours.
"I'll give you $20 to paint my porch out back while I'm gone. I already have the paint and everything."
She happily agrees and totes the paint out back. He chuckles to himself as he gets into one of his many cars and heads out. That dumb broad will be at it all day, and it only cost him $20.
He comes home later, and she's just finishing up. She sees him and jogs up.
He grins. "finished?" He asks.
"Yeah and I even gave it 2 coats!"
"Are you sure? I didn't think there was enough paint there for two coats of the entire porch."
"Sure there was! There was even a little left over! Though I should tell you, it's not pronounced 'porch', it's pronounced 'Porsche'."

So there's this blonde...

and she's sick and tired of being stereotyped as the dumb blonde, so she decides to dye her hair and move to another city. After she died her hair brown, she packs up her things and leaves for the new city. Driving down a barren country road on the way there, she starts to get really hungry. With no restaurants in sight, she pulls in to the only home as far as the eye can see, a sheep farm. Thinking a sheep would make a tasty meal, she walks up to the house where the farmer is sitting on the front porch and asks him if she can guess how many sheep there are if she can have one. The farmer agrees. The woman has a knack for counting and adds up all the sheep really quickly and says "72". The farmer says "whelp, that's right, go grab your sheep and leave." The woman picks up her choice and starts walking back to her car, but before she gets in the farmer shouts after her "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

Guy walks into a bar.

Guy walks into a bar.
The bar is empty except for a group of blonde women in the far corner chanting. "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks"
The guy asks the barman for a beer and also asks what's all that about in the corner.
Barman says "I have no idea. They've been meeting here every afternoon for the past 23 weeks. They sit silently leaning over the table and never say a word until today."
Intrigued, the man wanders over to the group of woman. They are now hugging each other and shaking each others hands and patting each other on the back. Still chanting "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks."
The asks them "what's all the celebrating about?"
One of the woman looks at him and says very proudly "everyone is always saying how blondes are so dumb. Well today we have just proven how intelligent we are."
The man says "well tell me, what have you done to prove blondes are intelligent?"
The woman says "well on the box of this jigsaw puzzle it says 3 years or up, and we just finished the whole puzzle in 23 weeks"

Blonde Convention

(*I heard this from a friend, sorry if it is a repost.*)
A group of blonde people decided to get together and hold a blonde convention to prove that blondes aren't dumb. They invited all the blonde people in the area.
In the middle of the event, they chose one random person from the crowd to answer questions, to prove she could answer them as well as anybody else.
"What is twelve plus three?" asked the interviewer.
"Nineteen," she responded. The interviewer felt very uncomfortable, however, the crowd was still supportive. To help get the girl's confidence back up, they shouted, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
"I'm going to ask you another question," said the interviewer. "What is ten times five?"
The blonde was sure she would get it right this time. "Sixty!" she said.
The interviewer shook her head, but again, the crowd cheered, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The interviewer said, "I'm going to give you one last chance. This will be a very easy question. What is two plus one?"
"Three!" said the blonde, happy to get a question she could finally answer correctly.
The interviewer was about to congratulate when she was interrupted by the cheering of the crowd: "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

One day a big group of blondes...

met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."
The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"
"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"
"Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.