Duel Jokes
40 duel jokes and hilarious duel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about duel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Duel Short Jokes
Short duel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The duel humour may include short duet jokes also.
- A man arrived to a Duel with only a pen and a piece of paper He proceeded to draw his weapon
- Most gun duels in the old west could have been prevented. If only the city planners had made towns big enough for everyone.
- does anyone know any good sword-fighting puns? I'm trying to think of words that have... ...a duel meaning.
- Chivalry Is Dead I didn't hold the door open for a girl and she said "Chivalry is dead." So I challenged her to a duel.
Chivalry aint dead but she is. - A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper. He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
- Why did the accordion player go to hell? He tried to outplay the devil in a musical duel, but lost by one too many polka notes.
- I was confident I could win the duel until my opponent swung his sword at my ankles. Alas, I was de-feeted.
- Did you hear about the French fencer who frequently spent time in the USA for competitions? He eventually applied for duel citizenship.
- Why did the samurai lose the duel at high noon? Because he brought a sword to a sho-gun fight.
- Glow in the dark condoms Why have glow in the dark condoms been invented?
-So gay guys can reenact lightsaber duels from Star Wars.
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Duel One Liners
Which duel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with duel? I can suggest the ones about dual and battle.
- What kind of sword does a dueling priest wield? A Rapier
- What do you call two Irish gunfighters in a duel? Kenny Killarney and Arny Kilkenny.
- Did you know that Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh is a Japanese American He is a duel citizen
- Why do Texans duel at high noon? They distrust clocks.
- What do the Mexican highlander say when he won a duel? THERE CAN BE ONLY JUAN!
- What do artists say to each other before they duel? avant garde!
- What do you call a duel between two pigs? Ham to ham combat!
- I won a duel using a block of cheese last week. How you might ask? It was extra sharp.
- A kid with no legs challenged me to a duel. I declined. You can't defeat an amputee.
- What do you call a duel between mexicans? A Juan on juan
- I've got a tone to pick with you. #Dueling Banjos
- What do you call a dolphin... that shoots a gun and sword fights?
A duel porpoise. - Germany: Riots after 2 dead by rising dueling trend. Saloons deny responsibility.
- Why did the hen win a Wild West duel between it and a Peacock? Hen shot first.
- What do you call two roosters having a fight? A c**...-a-Doodle-Duel!

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Duel Jokes
What funny jokes about duel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brawl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make duel pranks.
I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook
where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.
People keep saying chivalry is dead. But, I looked up the definition of chivalry and it has little to do with manners and it is more about knights and combat.
The other day when I didn't open the classroom door for a girl in my class, she said that chivalry is dead. So, I challenged her to a duel.
To conclude, chivalry is not dead. But, that girl is.
I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.
Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery
A little boy came home from the playground with a b**... nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.
"Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"
Doctor joke
Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.
An instructor was teaching a young man how to swordfight.
The young man wasn't terribly good, but he had a rather high opinion of his abilities. In a practice duel with the instructor, he was continually waving his sword about arrogantly, in wide strokes, and often leaving himself wide open to attack.
The instructor thought "he won't last five minutes with that attitude, so I need to scare it out of him. But I don't want to hurt the poor kid too badly."
The instructor feinted.
Any Irishman and a Scott have a duel at a bar...
The irishman exclaims, "You Scottish can't drink! We Irish are the best drinkers!"
Scott exclaims, "Ye don no wha ye takin boot! Any scott can drink any irishman under ye table!"
The two drink to the early morning. Who wins?
The bartender.
Many years ago, there was a very lazy fencing duellist
In one of his most notable bouts, against the Marquis of Mod, his opponent noticed a very glaring pattern.
Upon exploiting this weakness and winning the duel, the Marquis approached the lazy duellist and questioned his methods-
"Why, may I ask, do you always seem to attack upon completing your parries?", he asked in a rather bemused fashion.
The lethargic duellist admitted, "It is because I know that riposting requires the least effort"
My toddler was watching The Empire Strikes Back today…
My wife sent a picture to the family WhatsApp of him watching Luke duel Vader captioned 'Learning the art of the light saber!' to which I responded:
'By the end of that fight he will probably be twice as handy as Luke…'
Two knights stood to face each other
They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel
The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill
The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese
The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with that?!"
"That's easy," said the second knight. " It's extra sharp."
An amputist and a swordsman walk into a bar
The swordsmen and the amputist get into a fight, so the swordsmen challenges him to a duel.
"Careful," says the amputist. "I have dis-armed just as many men as you, and de-feated even more"
