The Best 33 Duel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Duel jokes. There are some duel draw jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these duel feud puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Duel Jokes and Puns

A man arrived to a Duel with only a pen and a piece of paper

He proceeded to draw his weapon

I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook

where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.

People keep saying chivalry is dead. But, I looked up the definition of chivalry and it has little to do with manners and it is more about knights and combat.

The other day when I didn't open the classroom door for a girl in my class, she said that chivalry is dead. So, I challenged her to a duel.

To conclude, chivalry is not dead. But, that girl is.

I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.

Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery

does anyone know any good sword-fighting puns? I'm trying to think of words that have...

...a duel meaning.

Chivalry Is Dead

I didn't hold the door open for a girl and she said "Chivalry is dead." So I challenged her to a duel.

Chivalry aint dead but she is.

A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.

He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

Duel joke, A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.

I was confident I could win the duel until my opponent swung his sword at my ankles.

Alas, I was de-feeted.

Did you hear about the French fencer who frequently spent time in the USA for competitions?

He eventually applied for duel citizenship.

A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.
"Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"

What do you call two Irish gunfighters in a duel?

Kenny Killarney and Arny Kilkenny.

You can explore duel contest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean duel samurai dad jokes. There are also duel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Doctor joke

Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.

An instructor was teaching a young man how to swordfight.

The young man wasn't terribly good, but he had a rather high opinion of his abilities. In a practice duel with the instructor, he was continually waving his sword about arrogantly, in wide strokes, and often leaving himself wide open to attack.

The instructor thought "he won't last five minutes with that attitude, so I need to scare it out of him. But I don't want to hurt the poor kid too badly."

The instructor feinted.

Any Irishman and a Scott have a duel at a bar...

The irishman exclaims, "You Scottish can't drink! We Irish are the best drinkers!"

Scott exclaims, "Ye don no wha ye takin boot! Any scott can drink any irishman under ye table!"

The two drink to the early morning. Who wins?

The bartender.

Did you know that Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh is a Japanese American

He is a duel citizen

Many years ago, there was a very lazy fencing duellist

In one of his most notable bouts, against the Marquis of Mod, his opponent noticed a very glaring pattern.

Upon exploiting this weakness and winning the duel, the Marquis approached the lazy duellist and questioned his methods-

"Why, may I ask, do you always seem to attack upon completing your parries?", he asked in a rather bemused fashion.

The lethargic duellist admitted, "It is because I know that riposting requires the least effort"

Duel joke, Many years ago, there was a very lazy fencing duellist

Why do Texans duel at high noon?

They distrust clocks.

My toddler was watching The Empire Strikes Back today…

My wife sent a picture to the family WhatsApp of him watching Luke duel Vader captioned 'Learning the art of the light saber!' to which I responded:

'By the end of that fight he will probably be twice as handy as Luke…'

What do the Mexican highlander say when he won a duel?


Why did the samurai lose the duel at high noon?

Because he brought a sword to a sho-gun fight.

Two knights stood to face each other

They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel

The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill

The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese

The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with that?!"

"That's easy," said the second knight. " It's extra sharp."

What do artists say to each other before they duel?

avant garde!

What do you call a duel between two pigs?

Ham to ham combat!

I won a duel using a block of cheese last week. How you might ask?

It was extra sharp.

An amputist and a swordsman walk into a bar

The swordsmen and the amputist get into a fight, so the swordsmen challenges him to a duel.

"Careful," says the amputist. "I have dis-armed just as many men as you, and de-feated even more"

How many Jedi walked away from the lightsaber duel in the Mustafar system?

Only one: Kenobi.

Duel joke, How many Jedi walked away from the lightsaber duel in the Mustafar system?

A kid with no legs challenged me to a duel.

I declined. You can't defeat an amputee.

What do you call a duel between mexicans?

A Juan on juan

A participant in a duel showed up arned witha pencil and paper,

He then proceeded to draw his weapon

Two gunfighters meet at a duel...

One says:
– I have the fastest hand in the Wild West.
– And I have a girlfriend.
Responds another.

What do you call a dolphin...

that shoots a gun and sword fights?
A duel porpoise.

In Episode III, why did Obi Wan not finish Anakin off after their duel?

Because Anakin was unarmed.

My pull out game is so strong...

When i pull out my yu gi oh cards to duel, you send yourself to the shadow realm.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the duel bicker jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working duel confrontation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes