Due Date Jokes
29 due date jokes and hilarious due date puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about due date that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Due Date Short Jokes
Short due date jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The due date humour may include short date jokes also.
- Due to the current economic situation in the world, I've started a dating site for chickens. It's not my full-time job, I'm just doing it...
...to make hens meet. - I used to date my english teacher but she broke up with me due to incorrect use of the colon
- They planned the date when the Burj Khalifa would be finished in advance... They wanted to know when it'd be due by
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Due Date One Liners
Which due date one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with due date? I can suggest the ones about date of birth and today date.
- My Chinese son was born before his due date We called him Sudden Lee
- Chinese kid was born before the due date Parents named him Sudden Lee.
- A chinese baby was born before due date His parents named him Earl Lee
- If tomorrow is not the due date Today is not the do date
- Professor: What inspired you to write this essay? .... the due date
- I heard there is a new dating app for paedophiles Kinder is due to be released shortly!
- A Japanese child was born before the due date. So they named him Sudden Lee.
- A Chinese couple had a baby boy before the due date They called him 'Sudden Lee'.
- My girlfriend is due tomorrow ...however, I have to wait 18 years before I can date her
- The only dates I've had lately are due dates. College is fun.
- Wise words to live by If tommorow is not the due date,
today is not the do date.
Due Date Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about due date you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean deadline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make due date pranks.
A boy asks a girl to the prom and she says yes.
He goes to organise a limo at the rental limo place and due to everyone else wanting a limo for the prom he has to wait in line for ages to get one.
He then goes to the flower store to buy her some flowers but again everyone is there buying flowers and he's stuck in line for seems like hours.
After flowers he goes to get his tuxedo at the store and the line is huge again with everyone else getting their tux's too.
He finally makes it to the prom with his date, they arrive and he asks if she wants to go onto the dance floor. She says "I'm a little thirsty, can I get some punch first?" He says "ok" and goes up to get some punch and there is no punchline.
A man loses his eye in a car accident
When he's in recovery, his doctor tells him he won't be able to regain his vision so he offers him his finest false eyes. However, due to the insurance cost and hospital bills, the man can only afford a wooden eye as a replacement.
After a few weeks of adjusting to the wooden eye, he's feeling pretty confident so he goes out to a bar. As he sits down to drink, he spies a beautiful woman with a large nose from across the bar.
With every ounce of courage he has he approaches the woman and says "would you like to go on a date with me?"
"Would I!?" Replies the woman excitedly.
"Big nose!" Shouts the man angrily and storms out of the bar.
An old hillibilly with three daughters
An old had three pretty teenage daughters of whom he was very protective. He used to sit on the front porch, shotgun in hand, and run his eye over any potential suitors. If he didn't like the look of them, he'd send them on their way.
One night, all three girls were due to go out on dates. The first's boyfriend drove up and announced: "Hi, my name is Joe, I'm here to get Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The old man decided that the boy sounded OK and he gave his blessing for the date.
Ten minutes later, amother car pulled up. The driver called out: "Hi, my name is Freddy, I'm here to get Betty, we're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" The old man thought the boy was decent enough, so he gave him permission for the date.
Ten minutes later, a third car arrived. The driver called out: "Hi, my name is Chuck..." And the old man shot him.
A kid works up the nerve to ask his crush to prom...
And first he must buy the tickets. So he heads to the ticket line and waits for about a half hour until he reaches the front and finally buys two tickets for him and his date.
Then he has to buy a tuxedo, so he heads over to the tux shop but due to prom season, it is overflowing with customers all waiting to get their prom tuxes. So he waits in line for about an hour until finally he can get fitted. He buys a green vest to match his date's dress.
Then he and his date decide they want to take a limo to prom, so he heads over to the limousine rental place and stands in line for an hour and a half waiting to order a limo. When he finally gets to the front, he orders a long white limo for 8 people.
The big day finally arrives and the kid and his date and their six friends all pull up to the dining hall in their white limo but because they've arrived a little late, they have to wait in line for about 25 minutes before they can get in.
Once in the dining hall, the kid and his date head to the dinner buffet and stand behind dozens of hungry students waiting to get their food. After a 35 minute line, they finally sit down with their food when the kid's date realizes she forgot to grab a beverage.
He heads over to the punch bowl to get her some juice and is surprised to see there's no punch line.