The Best 54 Dudes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dudes jokes. There are some dudes boys jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dudes dude you were so drunk last night puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dudes Jokes and Puns

During the USA - Belgium game, a couple of dudes ran onto the field.

I imagined the English commentator would have said this:

"It appears a wit has run onto the pitch."
"A wit, sir?"
"Yes. Two half-wits."

Smoked some weed the other night with some foreign dudes, massive language barrier...

We got Rosetta Stoned.

Yo mama so fat...

that when she has threesomes the dudes never meet.

Dudes joke, Yo mama so fat...

"Of course I can paint your ceiling," Michaelangelo scoffed.

"Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out on it though."

my grandpa always said "women are like buses .."

they're always late and there's probably like 14 other dudes riding it at the same time.


Just saw a couple of dudes trying to grab an old lady's purse so I ran over to help.

We got it off her eventually

Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny

>Two dudes were talking about moving to US so the first dude's child will have an American education.

Dude1: My wife and I were thinking that we should move to the US so our kid will have an American education?

Dude2: You dont want to do that.

Dude1: Why?

Dude2: You are telling me you want to send your child to a place where people cant tell the difference between a clock and a bomb?

Dudes joke, Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny

How many "sup dude"s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, it's already lit fam.

Why do so many guys spit in urinals?

Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener.

Two high dudes meet...

"What's your name?"
"Jack without a V."
"There's no V in Jack."
"That's what I just said."

I'm not real familiar with who this Rorschach guy is...

...but he sure loves painting pictures of naked dudes.

You can explore dudes gals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dudes weirds dad jokes. There are also dudes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I turn to my brother and ask

Hey bro, what's the most you've jerked off in one day?
"About 3 dudes".

I like my memes the way I like my freudian slips

Send dudes

What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with bits of cardboard?

A pillow fight.

Two old dudes are sitting on a park bench discussing their youth and how things have changed. One says to the other one, "these days there is premarital sex, extramarital sex, swinging... I never had premarital sex with my wife, did you?"

The other thinks for a moment and says "What was her maiden name again?"

Did you hear the one about the two gay Irish dudes?

Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick

Dudes joke, Did you hear the one about the two gay Irish dudes?

Two surfer dudes are sitting in church

One turns to the other and says, "DUDE! Did you know God has a name?"

"Dude, NO WAY!!!"

"Yahweh!"

I tried to act out 2 dudes fighting each other, but it turned out horribly.

I'm still beating myself up over it.

A recent study shows that 1 in every 10 men are gay.

As a guy I find this really scary, that means that 1 of the last 10 dudes I slept with is gay.


You go to a Halloween party wearing nothing but blue jeans. When someone asks you who you are, you reply, "I'm a premature ejaculator."

You see, I just came in my pants.

"Credit goes to some dudes post on something earlier, couldn't find it to give him credit. Thought it was too funny not to share."

How did the tortoise win the race?

He recruited dudes with some cross-hares.

What do you call four rock-hard dudes chilling next to each other?

Mount Rushmore

8 dudes have as much wealth as 4 billion people. We need to start killing them

But it will take a while to kill 4 billion people

Street Fighter is kinda like gay sex

It's got two dudes trying to land a finishing blow.

These two guys started arguing in the local gay bar...

It got really nasty and the bouncer escorted them out the door to finish their dispute where they could no longer break any more bar furniture or fixtures.

The two gay dudes went out into the parking lot where they exchanged blows.

Why was Jesus against homosexuality?

His only experience getting nailed by other dudes was through his hands and feet.

The FCC is trying to take away Net Neutrality.

This isn't a joke it's real my dudes

Two homeless dudes sit on a park bench

One askes the other: Did you bring bread for the pigeons?
The other replies: No, I eat them without the bread.

I saw a study online that said 1 out of 10 people are gay, which freaked me out because I've had sex with 10 people

Statistically, that means one of those other dudes was probably gay

Did i ever tell u about the time i went to see a drag race?

Yeah... I wasnt expecting to see a bunch of dudes dressed as ladies heading for the finish line.

Why did Donald Trump invite Kim Kardashian to talk about prison reform?

Because she's had more black dudes in her than a jail.

A girl sleeps with 3 dudes and gets called a "hoe"

A guy does the same and gets called "gay"...smh

I saw my ex about to get jumped by six dudes, so I decided to help.

She didn't stand a chance against all seven of us

I saw my ex getting jumped.

I saw my ex getting jumped by 6 dudes so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance with all 7 of us.

Did you hear about the bed bug band?

They mostly play covers

(OC my dudes, read em and weep)

Two dudes are on a ship. One of them is a smoker, the other has cigarettes, but no one has a lighter. What do they do?

The dude with cigarettes throws one overboard, which makes the boat a cigarette lighter.

How many suh dudes does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It's already lit fam

How many, "Suhhh Dudes", does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, it's already lit, Fam!

(Seagull laugh) | opinional

A Jewish and a Chinese Guy.

Once two dudes, a Jewish and a Chinese were talking.

J: You evil Japanese started World War 2 by bombing Pearl Harbour.

C: I'm Chinese, not Japanese.

J: But you all look the same.

C: Well you sunk the Titanic.

J: That was an iceberg.

C: Iceberg, Goldberg, Bloomberg, its all the same to me.

To me perfect sex is like a carwash.

You start by lining it up and going in slow, and finish when three Mexican dudes run up and furiously towel you off.

I played a cool video game with some really hammered dudes,

We were Super Smashed Bros.

Guy gets sent to prison. 1st night, someone yells 39, whole prison laughs. Next night, someone yells 2, prison again erupts in laughter. Guy asks lifer what gives. Lifer explains there's a joke book, been passed around for years. Dudes memorize # & corresponding joke. Guy gets book & memorizes a few

That night he yells, 24!!! Nothing...

Next night, 9!! Crickets

He asks the lifer the next day what's happening...

Lifer says: some people just can't tell jokes

I knew two dudes that died in a waterskiing accident.

They shared a wake.

Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them?

You shout, I'm betting on the dude with the knife!

2 dudes walk into a bar....

half way through drinking they realize that they dont have money.

guy 1 pulls out a hot dog and say I have a idea. they start to "play" with the hot dog.

the bartender wasn't having any of it and kicked them out.

guys 2 thought to go to a couple more bars and they keep pulling the hot dog trick.

by the end of the night they're smashed. Guy 2 say "hey I'm hungry, you still got that hot dog?"

guy 1 says, "dude, I lost that's thing 4 bars ago".

Gay bars have the most polite dudes I've ever met..

They always push in my stool for me.

Two dudes are smoking pot

One tells another:

-Dude, I think this pot is making me stupid, I should quit.

Second guy responds:

-No, dude it's the other way round, you're becoming smarter and realising that you're an idiot.

The joke is originally in Georgian, this is a translation.

I saw a man getting mugged by 2 dudes so I stepped in to help

he didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us

My ex was just like my Netflix account

Shared by five dudes

A group of dudes are walking through the park

They see a young pair banging in the bushes. One of the dudes can't help himself but comment:

"Hey, man, leave some for us!"

"I can't, I inserted everything."

Fiction Logic: How many anime dudes does it take to change a lightbulb

One...

But it takes them 10 god damn episodes.

How do you greet a room full of naked dudes?

Hiya phallus!

Three guys were sleeping on a single mattress

When they wake up the guy on the left whispers to the other two, "Dudes, I just had a dream I was getting a handjob...It was friggin awesome."

Then the guy on the right says, "Get outta here! I had a handjob dream too!"

While they high fived and discussed the odds, the guy in the center said, "Lucky stiffs. In my dream, I was skiing."

Screw dudes who throw cigarettes into urinals

Makes them so difficult to re-light.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dudes brotha jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dudes dude perfect piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes