Ducked Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Two blondes walk into a bar

You'd think the second one would have ducked

Three women- a blond, a brunette, and a red head, are all about to be executed by ISIS

The red head was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, TORNADO! All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. She followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed SANDSTORM! The gullible ISIS members again ducked for cover while she escaped. The blonde thought to herself, This is going to be easy. These people are idiots. The blonde stood with a smug look on the shooting block while the ISIS leader roared, Ready…Aim…. The blonde yelled, FIRE!

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

Because Donald ducked.

I once had a large gay following.

But then I ducked into an alley and lost him.

Two guys walked into a bar

The third one ducked.

Three guys walk into a bar..

The fourth one ducked.

Blonde, brunette, and a red head

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were running from the police. The three women ducked into an old barn on the side of the road. Inside the barn were three empty sacks and they decided to hide in them. In walk the police. They see the three sacks and are immediately suspicious. An officer kicks the sack the brunette is in so she says "Meow!"
"Oh it's just a cat." He says. The cop goes to the red head and kicks the sack shes in. She says "Woof!"
"Oh it's just a dog." So he moves onto the last sack where the blonde is hiding. He walks up and gives it one good kick.
"Potatoes!"

Two men walked into a bar

You'd think at least one of them would've ducked.

3 men walk into a bar

You'd think the 3rd would have ducked

A Russian, a German and an American walk into a bar...

I ducked.

Mickey and Minnie walked into a bar

Donald ducked

Three Men Downtown

Three men were taking a stroll downtown.

Two of them walked into a bar.

The third one ducked.

I nearly puked on my girlfriend, but she moved out of the way just in time

She ducked my sick

Two men walk into a bar...

The 3rd one ducked.

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Atheist walk into a bar...

They guy behind them says "You guys probably should have ducked"

A Thanksgiving joke from my uncle

Has anyone ever had a turducken?

Yeah I have. I started to push it out, but it ducked right back in

A biker went for a ride with his girlfriend Ruth...

As they were riding they came to a low bridge. He ducked, but she didn't. He rode on ruthlessly.

3 men walked into a bar

Fourth one ducked

A double bass player

A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.

He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.

After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"

"We did last year!" one answers.

Two geese walk into a bar...

Maybe one of them should've ducked.

3 guys walk into a bar...

The 4th guy ducked.

Three men walk into a bar

You would have thought one would have ducked

Three Nuns Walked Into A Bar

The fourth one ducked.

Two guys walk into a bar..

I thought the second guy would've ducked

Obama and Bush walk into a bar...

...Clinton ducked.

My collegue just threw my punch card at me, I ducked just in time!!!

But I almost got clocked out!

3 swans were walking into a bar

But the third one ducked

A Black Asian with a beard walks into a bar

He should've ducked

Why Did John Lennon Get shot?

Yoko Ducked

A blonde walked into a bar. Another blonde walked into that same bar.

The brunette ducked.

A man walks into a bar

Thankfully I ducked

What are the funniest ducked jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Ducked? Well, here are the best Ducked puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Ducked pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes