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Ducked Jokes

49 ducked jokes and hilarious ducked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ducked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Ducked Short Jokes

Short ducked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ducked humour may include short ducks jokes also.

  1. I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.. Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...
  2. My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick? Put it on my bill
  3. What has 6 eyes, 16 tentacles and quacks like a duck? I don't know either but it's in my kitchen please help.
  4. For my cake day, I'd like to share my favorite joke of all time. Three guys were walking down the street.
    Two of them walked into a bar.
    The third guy ducked.
  5. Bill Withers Duck joke How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
    Leave it in the oven till it's Bill Withers.
  6. I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus... It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
  7. So Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and says: Is this Whiskey? Elmer says: Yeth but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank!!
  8. A chicken saw a duck standing by the side of the road. The chicken called out to the duck: Don't do it pal. You'll never hear the end of it!
  9. My son is walking through the house, shouting Duck! Duck! Duck! I told him to stop using fowl language.
  10. What do you call a mouse on 2 legs Friend "i dont know"
    Me "mickey mouse"
    Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
    Friend "donald duck"
    Me " all ducks idiot"

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Ducked One Liners

Which ducked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ducked? I can suggest the ones about sitting duck and tucked.

  1. Two blondes walk into a bar You'd think the second one would have ducked
  2. Where do duck farts come from? Their buttquacks.
  3. What do ducks smoke? Qwack
  4. There is only one thing I don't like about ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant The bill
  5. How do you properly greet a very fancy duck as you walk by? M'lard
  6. Do you know why the duck went to narcotics anonymous? He had a quack addiction.
  7. I think I hit a duck. How do you know?
    There's a quack in the bumper.
  8. What do ducks smoke? Quack.
  9. What is a duck's favorite sea monster? A Quacken
  10. What happens when you call a duck? His phone wings
  11. What do you call a drug-addicted duck? A quackhead.
  12. 2 guys walk into a bar.... ...you'd think the second one would duck.
  13. Why did the duck become broke and homeless? Because he smoked to much quack
  14. How does a duck carry his school books? Bwack pwack
  15. I bought a muzzle for my pet duck.... Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.

Ducked joke, I bought a muzzle for my pet duck....

Silly & Ridiculous Ducked Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about ducked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jumped jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ducked pranks.

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

Because Donald ducked.

Two guys walked into a bar

The third one ducked.

Three guys walk into a bar..

The fourth one ducked.

I once had a large gay following.

But then I ducked into an alley and lost him.

A Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar . . .

The Blonde, ironically, ducked.

2 guys walk into a bar

The third guy ducked.

Two guys walked into a bar.

The second one should've ducked.

I was on a golf course once and heard a guy yell "FOUR!"

I ducked and the ball narrowly missed my head. But the other three beaned me good.

Three men walked into a bar...

The fourth man ducked.

Two men walked into a bar

You'd think at least one of them would've ducked.

Sad after the f**... of a friend, my wife and I ducked into a Chinese restaurant for a pick-me-up.

The feel-good session ended when I read the fortune cookie: You will soon be reunited with a good friend.

Two professional limbo players walk into a bar.

You really would've thought they'd have ducked.

Mickey and Minnie walked into a bar

Donald ducked

3 men walk into a bar

You'd think the 3rd would have ducked

Two guys walk into a bar

Which is pretty s**... because the second guy should've just ducked.

A Russian, a German and an American walk into a bar...

I ducked.

Three Men Downtown

Three men were taking a stroll downtown.
Two of them walked into a bar.
The third one ducked.

A biker went for a ride with his girlfriend Ruth...

As they were riding they came to a low bridge. He ducked, but she didn't. He rode on ruthlessly.

I walked into a bar one day...

I probably should've ducked

A double bass player

A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.
He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.
After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"
"We did last year!" one answers.

I nearly puked on my girlfriend, but she moved out of the way just in time

She ducked my sick

Has anyone ever had a turducken?


Yeah I have. I started to push it out, but it ducked right back in

Two men walk into a bar...

The 3rd one ducked.

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Atheist walk into a bar...

They guy behind them says "You guys probably should have ducked"

3 men walked into a bar

Fourth one ducked

Two geese walk into a bar...

Maybe one of them should've ducked.

Three Nuns Walked Into A Bar

The fourth one ducked.

3 guys walk into a bar...

The 4th guy ducked.

Two guys walk into a bar..

I thought the second guy would've ducked

My collegue just threw my punch card at me, I ducked just in time!!!

But I almost got clocked out!

Obama and Bush walk into a bar...

...Clinton ducked.

Why Did John Lennon Get shot?

Yoko Ducked

Ducked joke, Why Did John Lennon Get shot?