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Duck Tape Jokes

17 duck tape jokes and hilarious duck tape puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about duck tape that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Duck Tape Short Jokes

Short duck tape jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The duck tape humour may include short duct tape jokes also.

  1. Silence is golden And it just so happens that duck tape is silver. Either way you will get silence
  2. What's the best part about duck tape? It makes "No, no, no!", sound like " Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!"
  3. Duck tape fixes everything... Except relationships because she won't let you put it over her mouth.

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Duck Tape One Liners

Which duck tape one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with duck tape? I can suggest the ones about tapes and plastic wrap.

  1. Remember duck tape turns no no no... In to mmm mmm mmm
  2. How do birds record their songs ? On duck tape !
  3. true meaning of duck tape duck tape turns a no no no to a hmm hmm hmm
  4. What did scrooge mcduck use to educate huey , dewey and louie? Duck tapes

Amusing & Witty Duck Tape Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about duck tape you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean super glue jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make duck tape pranks.

A double bass player

A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.
He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.
After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"
"We did last year!" one answers.

A duck walks into a store

Got any duct tape?
The owner answers, no, and get out of here, you dumb duck!
The duck comes back in a little while later, wearing a fake mustache. Got any duct tape?
NO! And get out, I won't tell you again, the owner shouts.
A while later, the duck comes back with a hat and glasses. Got any duct tape?
No, you s**... duck!!! And if you ask me again, I'll staple your beak to the floor!
The duck pauses.
Got any staples?
Err... no...
Got any duct tape?

An old man is sitting on his porch...

And sees two younger boys walking by with cat tails under their arms
Curious the old man asked where they were going with the cat tails.
"We are going to catch some cats"
"You can't catch cats with cat tails that's not going to work" says the older man.
And the kids go on their way. About an hour later the boys walk by the old mans house with a bunch of cats under their arms
The next day the same 2 boys are walking by with duct tape under their arms and the older man asks again what they are doin.
"We are going to catch some ducks"
"You can't catch ducks with duct tape boys that's not going to work" says the older man.
And the kids go on their way. About 2 hours go by and sure enough the kids walk by the old mans house with ducks under their arms.
The next day the old mans sees the same 2 boys carrying a plant under each arm, the older man stands up and asked what they had this Time.
"These are pussywillows"
The old man then stands up "I'll go get my hat."

A boy is carrying something past an old man on his porch...

The old man sees him and says "Boy, what'cha got there?"
"Duck tape old man. Imma catch me some ducks!"
"You can't catch ducks with no duck tape." says the old man.
The boy doesn't listen and walks on. 5 minutes later the boy comes back with 10 ducks all caught up in the tape and quacking away. The man is dumbfounded.
The next day the same boy walks carrying something by the old man.
"Boy, what'cha got there?"
"Chicken Wire" the boy says "Imma catch me some chickens"
"Boy you can't catch chickens with no chicken wire." Replied the old man.
The boy walked on, and not 10 minutes later came back with no less than 20 chickens all rolled up in the wire, clucking away. The old man was dumbfounded.
The next day the boy walked by carrying something. The old man raised an eyebrow.
"Boy, whatcha got there?" said the old man
"Pussywillows" replied the boy.
"Hold on" said the old man "Just let me get my hat."

A man is sitting on his porch...

when a young boy walks by, holding a roll of duct tape. The man, slightly amused yet curious, asks the boy what he plans on doing with it.
"I take duck tape down to the lake, and I use it to catch ducks", replies the boy. The man laughs it off, but later the boy returns with his arms full of ducks.
The next day, the man is once again sitting on his porch when the boy comes around again, this time with a roll of chicken wire under his arm. "to catch chickens with", the boy tells the man, who is still a little skeptical, and laughs it off. Sure enough, that night he sees the boy carrying an armload of fat chickens.
The third day, the boy is carrying something, so the man asks what it is.
"They're pussywillows. I use it to..."
The man cuts him off. "I'll get my coat!"

Duck tape.

An old man is sitting on his front porch when a young boy comes walking by with several rolls of tape in his arms.
"Now son, whatcha doin' with that tape?" asks the old man.
"Well sir, it's duck tape. I'm going to go catch some ducks." replies the boy.
Old man laughs and watches the boy continue down the road.
Several hours later the boy walks back by the old mans house with tape strung out behind him. Stuck to the tape are several ducks.
"I'll be d**...," thinks the old man.
The next day the same boy walks back by the old mans house carrying rolls of wire.
"Hey son, what's with the wire?"
"Well sir, it's chicken wire. Imma catch me some chickens."
Kid continues on and returns several hours later dragging the wire behind him. Stuck in the wire were several chickens.
"Kid is something else," thinks the old man.
Next day kid comes walking up the road carrying a bundle of sticks.
"Hey son, what's with the sticks?"
"Well sir, it's pussywillow..."
Old man interrupts, "Hold on, I'll get my hat."