To cover its butt quack.
It's still fowl language
It's still fowl language.
with a duck in his hands and says "This is the pig I've been fucking"
The wife says "That's not a pig that's a duck"
The husband says "I wasn't talking to you"
Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"
His butt quack
I don't know either but it's in my kitchen please help.
Now they yell Donald, duck
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Leave it in the oven till it's Bill Withers.
Their buttquacks.
Qwack
The Secret Service will have to yell "Donald duck!"
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No mate, this is a bar
Duck: Got any bread ?
Barman: No I've told you, we don't have bread here!
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: Look, if you ask me that again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.
Duck: Got any nails?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
And orders a hundred bottles of scotch.
The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab."
A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?"
The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill."
Donald duck!
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To cover up their butt quacks.
His lawyer tells Donald, "I am sorry, but you can't divorce Daisy just because she is insane."
Donald replies, "I never said she was insane. I said that she was fucking Goofy."
"Don't do it mate. You'll never hear the fucking end of it".
If anyone wants to come on down.
Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiot"
Now they're required to say "Donald, duck!"
Put it on my bill.
Three animals walk into a bar; A duck,a skunk and a deer. They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks. "5 dollars" Says the bartender. The deer looks at the duck and says "I don't have a buck to my name!" the skunk cries "I have no money, not even a scent!" but the duck says to the bartender "It's alright, just put it on my bill".
Put it in the oven until its bill withers.
He says "This is the pig I've been screwing."
His wife responds "That's a duck, you moron."
To which he retorts "I wasn't talking to you."
"What are you eating?"
"A chocolate cake"
"Why does it smell like shit then?"
"I'm eating it for the third time"
His but-quack.
"This is the pig I've been fucking" she said
"That is a duck, not a pig" I replied
"I'm not talking to you"
The man at the front desk asks, "Would you like me to put this on your bill, sir?"
The duck replies, "No, what sort of pervert do you think I am?!"
He goes up to the bar and the barman asks what he's having.
Duck: "you got any bread?"
Barman: "no, we only serve drinks"
Duck: "Oh, have you got any bread?"
Barman: " I just said, no"
Duck: "OK, have you got any bread?"
Barman: "Look, if you ask for bread again I'll nail your beak to the fucking bar"
Duck: "Oh OK. Have you got any nails?"
Barman: "No?"
Duck: " Good. You got any bread?"
Now they just say "Donald, duck"
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
Now they yell "Donald Duck!"
An abduction.
I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Duck? Well, here are the best Duck dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Duck pick up lines to share with friends.