Duck Hunter Jokes
10 duck hunter jokes and hilarious duck hunter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about duck hunter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheeky Duck Hunter Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What is a good duck hunter joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Two hunters are walking in the forest
One hunter says to the other,
"DUCK! THERE's A DEER BEHIND YOU!"
The other hunter, however does not duck, and is subsequently shot.
He falls to the ground, and the shooter immediately calls 9-1-1.
Before the operator can say anything, he screams, "HELP HELP I THINK MY FRIEND IS DEAD!"
The operator says, "Well, first lets make sure he actually dead."
Another gunshot rings through the forest.
The hunter then says, "What should I do now?"
Why did the duck hunter have no batting average?
All he can hit are fowls.
Hunter: Wanna get shot by a rifle?
Duck: Sure, I'm game.
Two Jewish duck hunters make a kill on the same waterfowl
But who takes the bill?
A man was water skiing when he fell into the river.
As the boat
circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. The man put his hands in the air and joked, Don't shoot!
The hunter responded, Don't quack.
2 hunters walk into a bar...
...That was the worst time to misinterpret the word 'duck'
My 6yo burned me....
I came home from hunting the other day to my family eating breakfast. As I came up to the table my daughter looks at me,
Hadley: Daddy I know where you've been.....
Me: You do? Did your momma tell you?
Hadley: Nope, but I can tell you've been hunting cause your wearing all camo
Me: Yep, you sure are smart. But it wasn't that great today I only shot two ducks......
Hadley: Well maybe if you didn't dress like a hunter you could get more animals (then rolls her eyes)......
......I've been doing it wrong for years
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog.
His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim."
A farmer and a hunter
A man is out hunting in the woods when he shoots a massive duck. The duck falls into a field owned by a local farmer. The farmer retrieves the duck but refuses to hand over the duck saying "Around here we have a little game to solve problems like this. Each person gets to kick the other is the c**... as hard as possible; the person who makes the least noise wins. Since the duck fell on my land I get to go first." The hunter eager to get his prize duck, accepts. The farmer proceeds to kick him with all of his might. The hunter collapses on the ground in agony but manages not to utter the tiniest whimper. After recovering he approaches the farmer and says "Now it's my turn, let's see if you can beat that!" To which the farmer replies "Nah it's okay you can have the duck."
The duck hunter
Grandpa was a keen country sportsman and one day he decided to take his grandson shooting with him. Togged up in all his hunting gear, shotgun broken across his forearm, he proudly led little Jimmy down to the lake side. After waiting patiently for a while a lone duck came into view flying over the lake. "Now watch this Jimmy," says Grandpa. He takes careful aim and fires. The duck flies serenely on. "My boy," exclaims Grandpa, "you are witnessing a miracle. There flies a dead duck."
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