Duck Face Jokes
9 duck face jokes and hilarious duck face puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about duck face that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Duck Face Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What is a good duck face joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I've just bought my pet duck a face mask so I can take him for a walk during corona-virus.
Its nothing flashy but it fits the bill.
Why aren't your b**... horizontal?
Because if you went down a slide you'd go blblblblblblblblbll... (When telling the joke you're supposed to do a duck face and hum and put your finger up and down on your lips.
Buddy Hackett duck joke
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old f**.... Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
You should've seen their faces when I showed up as Donald Duck at the office Christmas party.
Yeah I had no pants, no self control and I came with three kids that weren't mine.
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
A man was hired to ring a church bell...
...but he wasn't very good at it. Every time he rung the bell it came back and smacked him in the face. He kept trying to duck under the bell but it kept hitting him.
Eventually, at the end of his shift he rang the bell one last time. Again, the bell hit him in his aching face, but this time he stumbled back and fell off the church tower, landing on the ground below.
An ambulance quickly arrived on the scene, one of the medics looked at the poor man's face. "Hmm...he looks familiar." said the medic. "How can you say that? His face is unrecognisable!" said the other medic. "I'm sure I recognise him! His face definitely rings a bell!"
No hurry!
Three traitors were captured in the war and were about to face a firing squad. Before their execution they were asked what they would like to eat for their last meal.
The first prisoner asked for a juicy steak. He was served the steak and then taken away to be shot.
The second prisoner requested roast duck. He was served the duck and then taken away to be shot.
The third prisoner asked for strawberries. Strawberries? asked the guards. But they're out of season! It's okay, said the prisoner. I'll wait….
Bubba n' Buford II
One day Bubba n' Buford were drivin' down the Farm to Market road in their pickup drinkin' Lone Star longnecks n' chillin' out to Bob Wills "San Antonio Rose" n' low n' behold, they come over a hilltop and there's a DPS roadblock a stoppin' folks. Thinkin' quick, Bubba pulls over to the side a the road n' Buford says "What we gonna do, you get another DUI n' they gonna throw away the key n' I'm still on probation for that thing with the duck at the theater!" Suddenly Bubba gets a big smile n' says, "Here I got a idy...". Meanwhile the DPS knows these two good 'ol boys and watches carefully as they pull back onto the road n' ease up to the roadblock. As he looks in the drivers window there's Bubba n' Buford smilin' ear to ear with beer labels stuck to thier foreheads. With a serious look on his face he asks the obvious question, "You boys been drinkin'?" With a big innocent smile on his face Bubba says, "No sir. We're on the patch!"
So Snookie is pregnant
10 to 1 odds all the baby's pictures have the duck face....
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