Duck Bill Jokes
111 duck bill jokes and hilarious duck bill puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about duck bill that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Duck Bill Short Jokes
Short duck bill jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The duck bill humour may include short duck drug jokes also.
- My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick? Put it on my bill
- Bill Withers Duck joke How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Leave it in the oven till it's Bill Withers. - I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus... It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
- A skunk, a deer and a duck went out to dinner… When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent and the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
- How do you turn a duck into a blues singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers
- A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Gimme some Chapstick... ...and put it on my bill."
- How do you make a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven at ~~three fifty~~ tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers.
- How do you know if a duck is a soul singer? Throw it in the microwave and see if it's Bill Withers
- Donald Duck calls concierge and says can you thend up thome condomths to my room" and concierge said "want me to put it on your bill?" and Donald said "are you thucking thtupid I'll thuffocate"
- So a duck walks into a pharmacy... and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies "Thanks, just put it on my bill!"
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Duck Bill One Liners
Which duck bill one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with duck bill? I can suggest the ones about duck and duck hunting.
- There is only one thing I don't like about ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant The bill
- I bought a muzzle for my pet duck.... Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.
- I ordered giant duck at a fancy restaurant the other day The bill was huge!
- Why didn't nasa send a duck into space? The bill would be astronomical.
- Did you hear about the duck who got a nose job? He didn't like the bill.
- What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill."
- Why can't you send a duck to space? Because the bill would be astronomical.
- What did the duck order from the store? "Chapstick.. and put it on my bill"
- How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers
- Two Jewish duck hunters make a kill on the same waterfowl But who takes the bill?
- How do you make a duck sing soul music? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
- Why are ducks always sad? Because of their bills
- What did the duck say when he was buying chapstick? Put it on my bill.
- How do duck lawyers charge their fees? Bill-able hours
- What do you call a duck with no bill? A Noble duck :)
Duck Bill Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about duck bill you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean duck hunt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make duck bill pranks.
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.
He finishes his drink and asks for his check.
Duck billed platypus.
A duck walks into a drugstore, looking for a c**....
The druggist says, "It will be $5. Would you like to pay now, or should I put it on your bill?"
The duck responds, "What kind of duck do you think I am!?!?"
3 Jokes about bars:
1.
A duck walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my bill."
2.
A typewriter walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my tab."
3.
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Uh, and a mop."
A cute one I heard from a friend at work.
Three animals walk into a bar; A duck,a skunk and a deer. They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks. "5 dollars" Says the bartender. The deer looks at the duck and says "I don't have a buck to my name!" the skunk cries "I have no money, not even a scent!" but the duck says to the bartender "It's alright, just put it on my bill".
The Philandering Duck
This swinging philandering duck suddenly became conscious of the danger of acquiring AIDS through s**... promiscuity.
To put himself at ease he went to his local druggist and asked for a c**.... "How much will that be?" asked the duck. "1 dollar and 19 cents" replied the druggist. "Would you like me to put this on your bill"? "What kind of a duck to you think I am"? replied the duck.
A duck goes into a drug store
He says gimee some chap stick put it on my bill
What did the duck say to the h**...?
Put it on my bill.
A duck walks into a pharmacy
grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says "that'll be $3.50. The duck says "just put it on my bill"
What did the duck say to the p**...?
Put it on my bill.
A duck walks into a drug store,
He goes and puts lip stick on the check out counter.
The cashier asks, "will this be cash or check?"
The duck says, "neither; just put it on my bill."
What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave?
It's Bill Withers.
Birds
A duck walks into a restaurant.
After eating a whole meal, he says to the waiter "Just put is on my bill"
A duck and a laptop go to a bar and, after a while, the bartender asks the duck if he'd like the drinks on his bill
The laptop scolds the bartender for making such an assumption and insists that the drinks be put on his tab
A duck walks into a drug store.
He says "Give me some chap stick."
The cashier asks "Will that be cash or credit?"
The duck says "Just put it on my bill."
What did the duck say to the bartender
put it on my bill
What did the duck say to the cashier after buying some red lipstick?
Just put it on my bill
A duck walks into a bar and says
"Get me some chapstick, and put it on my bill!"
A duck walks into a pharmacy
A duck walks into a pharmacy and buys some chapstick. He says to the cashier
"put it on my bill".
Duck walks into a drugstore, asks for some Chap Stick.
Guy behind the counter says "That'll be fifty-nine cents"
Duck says "Put it on my bill.'
Next day, duck walks into a drugstore again. Asks for a package of condoms.
Guy behind the counter says "That's three bucks; you want I should put them on your bill?"
Duck says "Sorry, I'm not that kind of duck"
How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer?
Stick it in microwave and turn it on until it's Bill Withers.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Waiter:"I don't know and I don't care, how exactly do you plan to pay for the meal you just bought Mr.Chicken?"
Chicken:"Just put it on my bill."
Waiter:"You don't have a bill..."
Chicken:"No bill? oh you shouldn't have, I'll see myself out!"
A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar
The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.
The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.
The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.
The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.
Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"
So The Duck Says...
"Put it on my bill."
The duck and c**...
Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms.
The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?''
''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''
How do you make a Duck sing?
Cook it in the oven till it's Bill Withers
A Duck Walks Into a Drugstore
A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, That'll be $1.49. The duck replies, Put it on my bill.
Today I overheard a duck arguing with a plastic surgeon about money
Apparently he was trying to get his bill reduced.
A duck waddles into a store, asks for some snails.
The woman behind the counter asks, "Wait, ducks don't carry cash, do they?"
The duck replies, "No, but you can put them on my bill."
A duck walks into a drug store
and asks for some chap stick.
The pharmacist asks if it will be cash or charge
The duck replies...
Just put it on my bill.
What do taxidermists say when you don't have enough money to pay for a whole duck?
"I'll send you the bill"
A duck walks into a bar...
And orders a hundred bottles of scotch.
The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab."
A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?"
The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill."
Looking for a muzzle for my pet duck.
Don't need anything flashy as long as it fits the bill.
A duck walks into a bar
The bartender asks, "How are you going to pay for your beer tonight?"
The duck replies, "Put it on my bill."
The bartender then asks, "Where did you get the money?"
The duck replies, "Selling quack."
A duck walks into a drug store
He says "Do you sell chapsticks?" And the store clerk says, "Yes, we do, but you don't have any money." And the duck says, "Just put it on my bill."
A frog, a duck, and a skunk want to go to the movies together
A frog, a duck, and a skunk want to go to the movies together. But, when they go up to the ticket booth, the man working there tells them that only the frog and the duck can watch the movie.
"What?! Why can't I?" asks the skunk.
"Well, the movie tickets cost $1 each. The duck has a bill and the frog has a greenback, but you've only got a scent!"
What does a duck say when buying lipstick?
Put it on my "Bill".
I had to visit a doctor today...
I hit my head really hard and gave myself a n**... bump. The doctor was a real quack though, all he told me was to duck next time. Plus I left with a huge bill!
I went to that restaurant that turns people into ducks.
They left me with a bill.
Daffy Duck was in a hotel room, he called room service and asks for a c**..., receptionist says shall we put it on your bill? Daffy replied.
Are you thucking thupid I'll thuffocate.
A duck eats through its Bill.
It poops through its Hilary.
Why did the duck complain after his facelift?
His bill was too high.
A duck walks into a store
A duck walks into a store, picks up a tube of Chapstick and places it on the counter. The clerk asks him, "Will that be cash or credit?" The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."
How do you make a duck sing the blues?
Stick it in an oven at 500 degrees until its bill withers.
A duck orders a c**..., at a hotel...
The man at the front desk asks, "Would you like me to put this on your bill, sir?"
The duck replies, "No, what sort of pervert do you think I am?!"
From my 7 year old son: Why did the duck have to fix his bill?
Because it had a quack in it.
A duck and a beautiful woman
A duck and a beautiful woman are sitting on a hotel room bed when the duck realizes he has no c**... not wanting to take any chances he calls room service. Room service arrives he asks "Do you want me to put this on your bill?" "No what do you think I am some kind of pervert?"
A duck walks into a bar
A duck walks into a bar and he says to the bartender,
give me a drink.
The bartender says which drink we have like 80 different drinks
The duck says Just put it on my bill
The bartender looks at the duck and says, I still don't know what drink you want.
I can't afford this
A man was buying a duck one day and went to have someone ring it up and the cashier said the bill is 25 dollars the man looks at her and says how much is the whole thing
A duck walks into a bar...
And orders the fish dinner. The bartender brings the meal and goes on to serve other customers, when he notices the duck hasn't touched his meal, so he asks "is everything all right with the food?"
"Check please" said the duck
"Is everything all right?" asked the bartender "You haven't touched your fish"
And the duck replied "I cant eat without a bill"
3 Animals Feast
A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay;
The skunk didn't have a scent,
The deer didn't have a buck,
So they put the meal on the duck's bill
A duck walks into a CVS pharmacy and buys chapstick
He tells the clerk, just put it on my bill .
How do you make a duck sing?
Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers
Duck walks into a drug store...
Duck asks, "please, can I have some chap stick?" Clerk asks, "will this be cash or charge?'.
Duck replies, "just put it on my bill".
I've just bought my pet duck a face mask so I can take him for a walk during corona-virus.
Its nothing flashy but it fits the bill.
A Duck with two broken wings walks into a bar and orders a big take out of beer and wine. The Barman, puzzled, said " How are supposed to carry this load and pay for it ? " The Duck said..
...Put them on my Bill.
A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink
The bartender asks him how will he be paying. The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill"
Two ducks check into a hotel for their honeymoon. The we're making out and the male duck said I forgot to bring any condoms! So he phones reception to see if they can help out. Condoms? Of course sir. Should I put them on your bill? ...
No way! If you did that I'd suffocate!
A duck walks into a bar....
He orders a few items from the menu, and decides on what he wants. After awhile the barkeep brings the food to the counter and the duck begins eating.
When the duck gets done, the barkeep asks the duck: How you wanna pay for this today?
The duck says: Put it all on my bill.
A duck, a skunk & a deer went out to dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
I think stimulus checks should also extend to all waterfowl.
Because ducks have bills too, you know.
Donald Duck walks into a store and says:
"Get me some chapstick... And put it on my bill!"
What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?
People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.
He orders a few drinks, then asks for the bill.....Duck billed platypus.
A handsome duck walks into a bar [OC I hope]
The bartender takes one look at the duck and says I'm sorry, but I can't serve you.
The duck asks Why not?
Because you have an outstanding bill.