The Best 33 Dry Cleaning Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dry Cleaning jokes. There are some dry cleaning jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dry cleaning puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dry Cleaning Jokes and Puns

A blonde goes to the dry cleaners.

She tells the attendant that she needs to have her dress cleaned.

However, the attendant wasn't paying attention. Snapping out of his day dream, he asked, "Come again?"

Giggling, the blonde replied, "No, just mustard this time."

Lindsay Lohan got her blouse dirty...

..and had to take it to the dry cleaners. She says "I need to get this cleaned" to the man behind the counter. The man who was hard of hearing replies "come again?", Lindsay responds "No, mustard".

A young woman walks into a dry cleaner

She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

Police talking on the radio...

* Sergeant, we've arrived at the scene.
* So, what's the situation?
* A woman killed her husband. There were 35 stab wounds, two gunshot wounds, and after decapitating him, she finally burned his body.
* Wow, what was the reason she gave for the crime?
* He stepped where she was cleaning the floor.
* Did you manage to capture the woman?
* No, Sergeant. We are waiting for the floor to dry ...

Dry Cleaning

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard this time."


Monica Lewinsky walks into a cleaners....

with a dress and yells at the old owner who is hard of hearing

"I need to dry clean my dress"

The owner cups his hand next to his ear

"come again"

"No it's ketchup this time"

Getting Drunk

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.

He says, "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me."

His friend says, "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually he reels home and his wife starts to give him a bad time, "You reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself, you're disgusting..."

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says, "Wait. It's not what you think. I only had one drink, but this man was sick on me. He'd obviously had one too many, or else he just couldn't hold his liquor. He was very sorry and he gave me twenty dollars for the cleaning bill. Look in my breast pocket."

She looks in his breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars."

"Ah, yes," says the man. "He peed in my trousers too!!!"

A man goes to the dry cleaner's and says, Hey buddy, can I get this dress cleaned?

Dry cleaner guy, taking off his earphones: Come again?

Man: No, mustard.

What's the difference between Trump and Bill Clinton?

Trump paid her $130k, Bill didn't even pay for dry-cleaning

recently re-relevant

So Monica Lewinsy rushes into the dry cleaner with a blue dress clutched in her hand. Recognizing the man behind the counter, she says "I need this dress cleaned right away." Realizing that he has been spoken to, but not certain what was said, the dry cleaner responds "Come again?"

No, says Lewisnki. It's yogurt.

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners, the guy is a little old and hard of hearing. Monica says "i need to get this dress cleaned, no starch, use the same hanger."
The dry cleaner responds "come again?"
Monica says "nope, this time it's mustard."

You can explore dry cleaning reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dry cleaning dad jokes. There are also dry cleaning puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man went to a laundry service

He drop his set of pants for dry cleaning.

As he was leaving, the clerk says "come again"

He turns around and said "Nope, this time its mayonaisse"

A blonde walk into the dry clean

She put her dress on the counter and asked for it to be cleaned. The guy behind the counter said as she was leaving "come again" she turned around and replied "no, it's toothpaste this time"

Bill Clinton brings a dress to the dry cleaning

He asks "Anything you need to know?", but since it's loud from all the machines running, the worker doesn't understand him and asks "Come again?"

"No", said Clinton, "Tomato juice this time"

Three chinese men named Hu, Fu and Chu come to the USA to live the American Dream

Chu calls himself Chuck and opens a dry cleaning business.

Hu calls himself Huck and opens a dollar store.

Just Fu goes back to China disappointedly.

What becomes more wet the more it dries?

Me after doing the dishes. I love cleaning.

A couple goes to therapy

A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.

The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?

The husband quickly try to explain.

So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.

"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"

My favourite jokes are one liners about launderettes

What can I say, I love dry clean humour.

Why did Mr. Potato Head's dry cleaning service go out of business?

He always used too much starch.


Woman goes to dry cleaners to clean her clothes, the lady at the counter says come again

Woman: No its toothpaste this time.

Chinese brothers opened a dry cleaning service in town...

Two Wongs *can* make it white.

My wife decided to trim our household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand...

Proud of her savings, she boasted We're are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.

I replied, Good, wash it again!

A blonde goes to the dry cleaners

She hands him her dress which has a huge stain in the front. She pays him and says "I need this dress for a party. So can you please get it cleaned by Thursday?" Now the dry cleaner was very old and couldn't hear properly so he asks her "Come again?"
The blonde blushes furiously and says "No, it is mayonnaise this time"

A 30 year old jobless, homeless, broke guy went to a palm reading fortune teller to know when will his life be better.

Guy: How will my future be?

FT: Till you're 42, you'll suffer thinking about your life getting ruined, cleaned out, agonized, strapped, tortured, penniless, distressed, dirt poor, tormented, wasted, unproductive, exhausted, dried up and living a lifeless life.

Guy: So what happens after 42.

FT: You'll stop thinking about it.

Monica Lewinski walks into the dry cleaners

She says, "I have another dress for you to clean."

The owner who is slightly hard of hearing replies, "Come again?"

"Oh no, it's just mustard"

Another day at the White House

After returning from the White House after a forum on sex in the workplace, Monica Lewinsky takes her dress to the dry cleaner.

The dry cleaner has an ear infection and is having trouble hearing.

Monica says to the dry cleaner, I need my dress cleaned. The dry cleaner does not hear her well and says "come again", and Monica replies, "No, mustard"

How do you wash a waterproof rain jacket?

Dry clean it

What is the funniest clean but sounds dirty joke that you know?

Example:

What is pink, hard and dry when it goes in and soft and wet when it comes out?

Bubblegum

People are protesting for us to change the name of our company.

I don't know why, we hang the colors is a good name for our dry-cleaning business.

The owner of a dry cleaning business finds a $20 bill left in the pockets of a pair of pants that was dropped off. He now has a dilemma....

Does he tell his partner or not?

The actor who played Pee Wee Herman, Paul Reubens, has decided to start his own dry cleaning service.

It's called Drop Your Pants and Jacket Off

I tried to rob a dry cleaner place

i thought i can get a clean get away there

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!

Well don't have a shower because you might be dry clean only.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dry cleaning jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dry cleaning piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes