The Best 22 Drunk Irish Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Drunk Irish jokes. There are some drunk irish jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these drunk irish puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Drunk Irish Jokes and Puns

What is the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?

One fewer drunk person.

An Irishman took his son to the bar on his birthday to buy him his first drink.

The father bought his son a stout, but he didn't like it and didn't want to drink it.

The father decided to drink it for him and ordered an ale instead.

He didn't like it either. So, the father drank it and ordered him a cider.

Lager, cider, cream ale... he didn't like any of them, so the father drank them and ordered whiskey instead.

He didn't like any of the Irish whiskeys the father ordered, so the old man drank them and decided to give up.

By the time they left the bar. The father was so drunk he could barely push his son's stroller home.

Drunks

Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"

Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"

Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."

Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."

Drunk guy: "Huh?"

Drunk girl: "That's

whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

There is one less drunk at the wake

I resent the idea that the Irish are all violent drunks.

We're perfectly capable of violence when sober, thank you very much.


Irish wedding vs. Irish funeral (Possibly offensive? Naah...)

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.

and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.

Two Irish men were talking one morning..

"You were so drunk yesterday!", said Callum.

"Why, What did I do?", said David.

"You took a taxi home!"

"So what, it means i don't wan't to get caught for drunk drivin'!"

"The party was at your OWN HOUSE!"

It appears we have reached that day once again where all the Irish people get drunk and start fights tonight and skip work tomorrow.

Monday.

I grew up in an interesting home...

My father was Irish and my mother is German. That means that every once in a while they would get drunk and try to take over the world.

What do you call a drunk Irish guy who bounces off the walls?

Rick O' Shea

You can explore drunk irish reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean drunk irish dad jokes. There are also drunk irish puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How many Irish men does it take to change a light bulb?

One but he has to be drunk so the room spins around while he holds the lightbulb.

Just found out I'm half-Irish and half-Scot.....

Half of me wants to stay drunk all the time and the other half doesn't want to pay for it.

How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$?

He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay.

So a young man walks into a bar in Ireland.

He goes up to the counter to ask for a drink, but the old town drunk spots him, wondering who he is.

So he walks up to him and says, "Are you Irish, boy?" and the man responds, "Aye, half."

Then old timer says, "Oh ya, what's the other half?"

and the man says to the bartender, "Guinness"

I used to think I was descended from the Irish but thanks to a search on Ancestry.com…

…it turns out I'm just a drunk…

I met The Godfather of the Irish mafia once....

...he was too drunk to make me an offer.

I was once at a bar with an Irishman.

He told me that Irish beer is far better than other beer because it get him drunk the fastest.
Personally, I disagree, but he raises a good pint.

A drunk old Irish man told me this one...

A man, a pig and his dog are marooned on a deserted island. After a couple of months in isolation the man becomes lonely and begins getting ideas about the pig. But every time he tries it on with the pig, the dog would start biting his leg and barking at him.

One day the man spots a beautiful woman floating on a raft out in the sea. He swims out as fast as he can and rescues her, and brings her onshore. The woman is overwhelmed with gratitude for him and says

Thank you for saving me, I will do anything you want .

With a cheeky glint in his eye, delighted with this offer, the man eagerly says

Brilliant! You see that dog? Go take him for a feckin walk


What do you call a man who's half Irish and half German?

A soldier too drunk to take orders.

Short Irish Joke

There once was an Irishman who got so drunk while he was in Rome that he kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel.

I might only be 25% Irish, but on St Patrick Days I will be 100% drunk.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the drunk irish jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working drunk irish piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes