The Best 8 Drunk Idiots Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Drunk Idiots jokes. There are some drunk idiots booze jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these drunk idiots bar puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Drunk Idiots Jokes and Puns

I was in a bar when...

I was in a bar in London throwing back brewski's when these two larger women walked in. They both had strong accents so I asked.

*"Are you two ladies from Scotland?"*

One of the ladies turned to me and said,

*"It's Wales you idiot"*

I must've been so drunk that I didn't notice so, I immediately apologized and said,

*"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"*

Don't remember much else.

A Russian drunk in a streetcar

Another Russian joke. A drunk boards a streetcar, and says out loud:

"All the women to the left of me are idiots, and all the women to the right are whores."

A woman to the right stands up and says, "I've been married for 15 years, and I've always been faithful to my husband, so there."

"Then move to the left."

A drunk at a bar

A drunk at a bar stands in the middle of the bar a says out loud: Everyone to my left are stupid, and everyone to my right are idiots!
A guy to the drunks left got mad and said to him: Wait a minute, I am not stupid okay! Drunk looks at him and says: Then move to the right side of the bar you idiot!

Drunk Idiots joke, A drunk at a bar

Two drunk idiots are sitting on top of a building...

Staring at the moon, one of 'em says, "Give me your flashlight, I'll turn it on, aim it at the moon and then you go climb up to the moon using the beam."

"No! You idiot! What if you turn it off when I'm midway!"

(English, not my native language, apologies.)

A man, that gets drunk almost every night, sees his friend while walking.

This one notices that the drunk guy has both ears burned and very injured, so he asks:

"How did it happen?"

The other night my wife left the iron on, then someone called me, and I took accidentally the iron instead of the telephone.

Oh...That sucks. And the left ear?

The idiot called again.


Are you Drunk?

Husband came home drunk. To avoid wife's scolding, he took a laptop & started working.
Wife: Did u drink ??
Husband : No! I swear!
Wife: Idiot!!! Then why are you typing on your suitcase?

I pointed to 2 old drunks

sitting across from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years"
He said,"That's a mirror idiot"

Drunk Idiots joke, I pointed to 2 old drunks

It's better to have business with a drunk professional than a sober idiot.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the drunk idiots intoxication jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working drunk idiots rowdy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes