He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
My drug dealer has some explaining to do.
I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
Credit to my friend Chris
Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.
he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him.
he then calmly orders a beer
bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here"
bear: "but I don't do drugs"
bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"
An 85 year old man, who has been a single widower for 30 years, gets engaged to a 27 year old girl.
He goes to his doctor for a Viagra prescription in preparation for his wedding night.
The doctor tells him, " I need to warn you that given the length of time that you have been abstinent and the potency of this drug, sex could prove to be fatal."
The old man says "Doc, if she dies, she dies."
idk what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
He said OK, Dan, you're going off to college. You're going to be living away from home, in a dorm, surrounded by beautiful girls. So I got you something from the drug store.
I said It's ok, Dad- I already know about condoms.
He's said No - anti-depressants.
He eventually got arrested after the police saw that people let him in
I mean, if you're talking to drugs then it's already too late to say NO.
... And I dunno what he laced them with but I've been trippin ever since
I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day
I've taken several.
It's called Trycoxagain.
A crystal methodist.
The pcp was my favourite.
69p964IMkW4LC8CTaGEu39vtjH6ldFvlhy3KDsFFcpPoeZT8X1vyheWrANInWE69p964IMkW4LC8CTaGEu39vtjH6ldFvlhy3KDsFFcpPoeZT8X1vyheWrANInWE69p964IMkW4LC8CTaGEu39vtjH6ldFvlhy3KDsFFcpPoeZT8X1vyheWrANInWE69p964IMkW4LC8CTaGEu39vtjH6ldFvlhy3KDsFFcpPoeZT8X1vyheWrANInWE69p964IMk
And I don't know what he laced them with.. But I've been tripping all day
My dealer has some serious explaining to do
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Birth control.
Because no one questions you if you spend 45 minutes in a Chipotle bathroom.
It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...
I said "No mom that's racist...and put your money away"
So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some asshole's got my pen."
Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hour later Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms.
"I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms."
"Yeah, I went to a dozen drug stores, but have you ever tried asking for aspirin with a tic in your eye?"
It leads to harder things.
Doctor responds: "Heavy drug use, ma'am"
Widow: "But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!"
Doctor: "I know, but I did"
Because they can wash their crack and sell it again
4/20 is national weed day, 4/21 is national surprise drug test day and 4/22 is national unemployment day
He was on crack, she was on blow.
A man was in need of some quick cash, and so he decided to turn to thievery. He grabbed his gun and visited 5 different drug stores, stealing over 5,000 pills of Viagra. The next day, while preparing to sell the pills, the man's house was surrounded by police. With no place to go, the man decided to swallow the evidence. He is now facing 20 years of hard time.
Drug tests do
*Giggles* "coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"
*gets stabbed*
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