Drug Addicts Jokes
103 drug addicts jokes and hilarious drug addicts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drug addicts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Drug Addicts Short Jokes
Short drug addicts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drug addicts humour may include short drug addiction jokes also.
- So I bought a pair of shoe from a drug addict yesterday. .. ... And I dunno what he laced them with but I've been trippin ever since
- Addicted Say "addicted" after everything I say.
What is someone who takes drugs?
What is someone who drinks?
What hit you in the face last night? - One out of 3 people is addicted to drugs. Look at the person on your left. Now look at the person on your right. Chances are one of them has some drugs to share with you.
- Did you hear about the drug addict who overthrew the government with 17 syllables? He staged a high coup.
- What do rich people and drug addicts have in common? They both have friends in high places.
- There's a fine line between being a drug addict and a recreational user... ...and I snorted the whole thing.
- Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach? They don't like getting sand in their crack.
- What do politicians, drug addicts and birds have in common? They all have friends in high places.
- My addiction to computer gaming started when my family bought a PC in the 90's... I guess that was my Gateway drug.
- Drugs Q. Heard about the drug addict fisherman who accidentally caught a duck?
A. Now he's hooked on the quack.
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Drug Addicts One Liners
Which drug addicts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drug addicts? I can suggest the ones about drugs and addiction.
- What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
- What do you call a drug-addicted duck? A quackhead.
- Why are all programmers drug addicts? Cause they do a lot of codeine.
- Why did the drug addict fall over? He tripped.
- Sugar is a gateway drug It gets you addicted to coke
- I've been reading a book about drug addiction I was hooked after the first few lines.
- What do you call an alligator addicted to drugs? A crackhead-ile
- What does a drug addict and a child have in common? They both want tablets for Christmas.
- What is a drug addicts favorite snack? Crack-ers
- What did the drug addicted power rangers say to each other? It's morphine time!
- A drug addict died in his sleep... I guess he overdozed.
- I used to be addicted to drugs. It was a high maintenance lifestyle.
- What's a drug addict's favorite music genre? Crack rock
- A drug addict walks into a changing room.... he came out a changed man.
- Why could they not hear the drug addict's cry for help? It was just a lil peep
Charming Humor Drug Addicts Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about drug addicts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crack cocaine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drug addicts pranks.
Heard about the drug addict fisherman who accidentally caught a duck? Now he's hooked on the quack.
Why did the drug addict suffer an overdose of c**...?
Because he crossed the line...
Did you hear about the crack addict that got trapped in a pyramid?
He had to sarcophagi for the drug money
I overheard my 14 year old daughter telling this joke to a friend.
-"Every time I say something, you say the word addicted"
-"ok"
-"Drugs"
-"Addicted"
-"Alcohol"
-"Addicted"
-"What slapped you across the face last night? "
" Addicted"
What do you call a drug addict on a scooter?
A dope head on a moped.
What do you call a dirty drug addict with a lisp?
Methy
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a drug addict?
A refrigerator starts in a box and moves into a house.
(This is not mine, but I don't know the source. Either way, I thought it should be shared.)
How can you tell that there's too much pollen in the air?
Drug addicts are turning m**... back into sudafed
What did the drug test say to the addict?
"u**... TROUBLE!"
A man once became addicted to c**... from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world.
Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line.
A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.
A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.
"Now I will fullfill your 3 wishes" - he said.
"I wish two lines of the best stuff on the world. Let's take it together, it will be great."
"Ok, that was your first wish. Don't waste all of them on drugs" - genie said and two lines of the best stuff appeared. They both had a great party but suddenly the effect of these drugs ended.
"What is your second wish?" - genie asked
"I want another two lines of the best stuff on the world."
Another two lines appeared and they both were on high again. When the effect ended, Genie asked: "And your third wish?".
"Two lines of the best stuff on the world again."
Two lines appeared again and they were on high. When the effect ended, the genie appeared again:
"So, my friend, what is your fourth wish?"
A refrigerator is the exact opposite of a drug addict.
It starts off in a box and then moves to a house.
Watching the Superbowl at a sober living with 7 sober drug addicts
"That's also what I need to do; get away from the sack."
Boom.
What do you call a drug addict who has been awake for 14 days straight?
A "two-weeker"
Over the last few years I've stopped drinking, doing drugs, partying, and going out all the time.
I've become addicted to financial security.
A drug addict and a nun
So a drug addict walks up to a nun and sees that her clothes are ripped. He looks at her and says, "Sister, you have a bad habit."
Why are drug addicts bad at billiards?
Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball
Which country has a drug-addicted king?
Hyrule.
Have you heard about the actor playing a drug addict?
He believes in m**...-od acting.
Picking up a drug addict is easy...
They go for any line.
What do you call a drug-addicted canine?
A m**... lab!
What's the best remedy for a s**... starved drug addict?
A jack and coke.
What do you call a drug-addicted vampire?
Crackula
How did the r**... drug addict get his crush to date him?
It all started with
"I'd be dilaudid to have yew fer dinner"
What do you call the main actress who suffers drug addiction?
The h**....
What do you call a drug addict frog?
Methamphibian
What did the train driver say when he decided to get over his drug addiction?
I need to get my life back on track
To ease the pain of a mother Crying at her Husbands f**... I said "At least he died doing what he Loves"
Too bad he was a Drug Addict
He died doing what he loved
Is an awful thing to say at the f**... of a drug addict who overdosed
Did you hear about that bakery where they employ addicts and pay them with drugs? I think it's called...
Knead for Speed
What did Mike Tyson say to the drug addicts who were playing tag in his front yard?
Quit mething around.
What's the difference between an adulterous Muslim and a drug addict?
The drug addict doesn't scream when he's s**....
A research team asked a group of drug addicts who their favorite superhero was..
Oddly enough, almost all of them said Wonder Woman. The research team doesn't really know why, I guess they're just big fans of the heroine...
What do you call a drug addict who likes anime?
w**...-a-boo
Why are cows not addicted to m**...?
Because grass isn't a gateway drug.
What's the difference between a drug-addict in Amsterdam and a homosexual in Iran?
Only one gets s**... and lives.
Two drug addicts were doing 69
Did you hear about the drug addict who accidentally injected curry powder?
He fell into a korma.
A horse walks into a bar.
It was about then the bartender decided he should seek help for his drug addiction.
Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?
He was addicted to quack c**...
(I honestly wish I could take credit for this)
C.C. DeVille and Bret Michaels just announced a new song about a yound drug addict who makes barrels
Alice Cooper by Poison
What do you call a drug addicted woman who takes advantage of a mentally disabled man for years?
Jennay.
My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.
Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.
How was the common drug addict punished in the olden days?
He was s**...
Me: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Her: If you say "Addict-ionary", I will kill you.
Me: I was going to say "High Definition", but yours is better.
What do you call a roof addicted to m**...
A drug attic
To combat drug addiction, Christians are now rebranding herion as "Jesus"
One should never take the Lord's name in vein.
Did you hear about the most recent celebrity drug addict?
I Don't know how we missed it for so long, but it turns out that Humpy Dumpty was actually a crack head
What does a drug addict couple say to each other on a date?
You are the h**... to my needle
One day a trendy drug addict named Rick hallucinates having a conversation with his drugs.
"Never gonna give you up." he says.
"Never gonna let you down." replied the drugs.
"Is Rick rolling in style again?" asked his friends.
The dyslexic drug addict became a m**......
...when he got hooked on l**...
What do you call flying pixies?
Drug addicts
I don't know how people get addicted to drugs
i've been doin m**... for 20 years and never once got addicted
What do you call the daughter of a drug addicted preacher?
Methany
Glue-sniffing drug addicts
A group of experienced glue-sniffers was teaching a newcomer to sniff glue.
But instead of sniffing the glue, the glue sniffer poured it into his mouth, and had to go to the hospital emergency room.
"Hey," reminded one of the glue-sniffers. "Don't expose our glue-sniffing group."
"Don't worry," replied another. "His lips are sealed."
"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone!
Eh?"
A drug addict, a man taking a nap, and Donald Trump.
What are a user, a snoozer, and a sore loser.
This big ol' grizzly bear walks up to the bar and orders s drink.
The bartender says "We don't serve wild animals."
Furious at this, the bear loses his cool, starts roaring and r**..., knocking people and tables over. In his fury, he picks up an old woman and eats her down in one bite. Crunch.
Now, a bit sedated, he returns to the bar and says "Come on, man. I could use a beer to wash that down."
Shaking his head, the barman says "No wild animals and no drug addicts "
Confused, the bear says "Drug addicts? What drugs?"
The bartender shrugs. "What about that bar-b**...-you-ate?"
A drug addict calls the police to report something interesting
The police officer, interested, asks. "What is it?"
The addict responds. "Okay, I-"
The officer interrupts, quickly making sure they're not on drugs "You're sober right now, right?"
"Yes, this happened when I was sober too."
All seems okay to this point. "Okay, go on."
"I saw an Italian plumber bump his head on a brick and grow three times his size!"
The officer pauses for a moment and mumbles to himself. "It's the mushrooms."