The Best 35 Drug Addict Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Drug Addict jokes. There are some drug addict relapse jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these drug addict alcohol addiction puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Drug Addict Jokes and Puns

My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.

Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.

So I bought a pair of shoes from a drug addict yesterday. ..

... And I dunno what he laced them with but I've been trippin ever since

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

I overheard my 14 year old daughter telling this joke to a friend.

-"Every time I say something, you say the word addicted"

-"ok"

-"Drugs"

-"Addicted"

-"Alcohol"

-"Addicted"

-"What slapped you across the face last night? "

" Addicted"

What do you call a drug-addicted duck?

A quackhead.


Addicted

Say "addicted" after everything I say.

What is someone who takes drugs?

What is someone who drinks?

What hit you in the face last night?

One out of 3 people is addicted to drugs.

Look at the person on your left. Now look at the person on your right. Chances are one of them has some drugs to share with you.

A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.

A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.
"Now I will fullfill your 3 wishes" - he said.
"I wish two lines of the best stuff on the world. Let's take it together, it will be great."
"Ok, that was your first wish. Don't waste all of them on drugs" - genie said and two lines of the best stuff appeared. They both had a great party but suddenly the effect of these drugs ended.
"What is your second wish?" - genie asked
"I want another two lines of the best stuff on the world."
Another two lines appeared and they both were on high again. When the effect ended, Genie asked: "And your third wish?".
"Two lines of the best stuff on the world again."
Two lines appeared again and they were on high. When the effect ended, the genie appeared again:
"So, my friend, what is your fourth wish?"

Why are all programmers drug addicts?

Cause they do a lot of codeine.

Did you hear about the drug addict who overthrew the government with 17 syllables?

He staged a high coup.

Why did the drug addict fall over?

He tripped.

You can explore drug addict heroin cocaine reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean drug addict opiate dad jokes. There are also drug addict puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the difference between a refrigerator and a drug addict?

A refrigerator starts in a box and moves into a house.

(This is not mine, but I don't know the source. Either way, I thought it should be shared.)

"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone!

Eh?"

What do rich people and drug addicts have in common?

They both have friends in high places.

Sugar is a gateway drug

It gets you addicted to coke

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?

He was addicted to quack cocaine

(I honestly wish I could take credit for this)

To ease the pain of a mother Crying at her Husbands funeral I said "At least he died doing what he Loves"

Too bad he was a Drug Addict

There's a fine line between being a drug addict and a recreational user...

...and I snorted the whole thing.

What's the difference between a drug-addict in Amsterdam and a homosexual in Iran?

Only one gets stoned and lives.


Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

I've been reading a book about drug addiction

I was hooked after the first few lines.

What do you call an alligator addicted to drugs?

A crackhead-ile

He died doing what he loved

Is an awful thing to say at the funeral of a drug addict who overdosed

This big ol' grizzly bear walks up to the bar and orders s drink.

The bartender says "We don't serve wild animals."

Furious at this, the bear loses his cool, starts roaring and raging, knocking people and tables over. In his fury, he picks up an old woman and eats her down in one bite. Crunch.

Now, a bit sedated, he returns to the bar and says "Come on, man. I could use a beer to wash that down."

Shaking his head, the barman says "No wild animals and no drug addicts "

Confused, the bear says "Drug addicts? What drugs?"

The bartender shrugs. "What about that bar-bitch-you-ate?"

My addiction to computer gaming started when my family bought a PC in the 90's...

I guess that was my Gateway drug.

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?

They both want tablets for Christmas.

What do you call a roof addicted to meth

A drug attic

What is a drug addicts favorite snack?

Crack-ers

Drugs

Q. Heard about the drug addict fisherman who accidentally caught a duck?

A. Now he's hooked on the quack.

Me: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

Her: If you say "Addict-ionary", I will kill you.

Me: I was going to say "High Definition", but yours is better.

Why did the drug addict suffer an overdose of cocaine?

Because he crossed the line...

I don't know how people get addicted to drugs

i've been doin meth for 20 years and never once got addicted

A refrigerator is the exact opposite of a drug addict.

It starts off in a box and then moves to a house.

What do you call a theater major who works hard to portray his drug addict role?

A meth-head actor

A drug addict calls the police to report something interesting

The police officer, interested, asks. "What is it?"

The addict responds. "Okay, I-"

The officer interrupts, quickly making sure they're not on drugs "You're sober right now, right?"

"Yes, this happened when I was sober too."

All seems okay to this point. "Okay, go on."

"I saw an Italian plumber bump his head on a brick and grow three times his size!"

The officer pauses for a moment and mumbles to himself. "It's the mushrooms."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the drug addict ketamine jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working drug addict methadone piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes