The Best 90 Drowned Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Drowned jokes. There are some drowned drown jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these drowned sank puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Drowned Jokes and Puns
An Indian Chief drinks 1,000 gallons of ice tea
He drowned in his own tepee
Did you hear about the Native American chief who drank 50 gallons of Earl Grey?
He was found dead in the morning, drowned in his tee-pee.
I was down by the Niagara River...
and I saw a Muslim extremist fall in!
He immediately started to sink.
Being a responsible Canadian, I contacted the provincial police and the RCMP right away! They didn't respond in time, and the Muslim man inevitably drowned...
I'm starting to think that I wasted two stamps.
My grandfather drowned in varnish recently.
A horrible way to go, but a lovely finish.
Un Deux Trois
A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; "Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"
I've been to a mate's funeral today; he drowned last week...
I got a lot of abuse for my floral tribute in the shape of a life belt.
They said it was in bad taste but I think it's what he would have wanted.
I tried to play water polo once
But my horse drowned. :(
My friend drowned last week
My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted.
-Milton Jones
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli?
He was pulled under by a strong currant
An oldie but goodie. What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea?
He drowned in his tea-pee.
A man drowned this morning eating a bowl of muesli.
A strong current pulled him under.
You can explore drowned died reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean drowned thames dad jokes. There are also drowned puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster...
Poor little guy drowned in seconds..
Why wasn't Hamlet sad when his girlfriend drowned?
He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway.
Butterfly
I saw a butterfly with no wings today. I poured some Red Bull on it and BAM... it drowned
I found a butterfly without wings...
So I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned.
I had an uncle who worked at a whiskey factory. He fell into a vat and drowned 6 hours later.
He would have drowned earlier but he got out 3 times to pee.
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette stranded on an island...
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 25 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
My Egyptian friend's dad drowned yesterday...
He's still in denial.
Local Drowning
A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented "He was too far out, man."
Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres drowned?
They found her face down in Rikki Lake
I started playing water polo the other day
It was all fun and games until my horse drowned
Bob drowned...
, so at his funeral we put a life jacket over his grave. It is what he would have wanted.
Did you hear about the Indian that drank 50 cups of Tea?
He drowned in his Tea Pee.
I used to play water polo
But the horse drowned
My friend Dave drowned yesterday
his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted.
Did you hear about the statistician that drowned?
Apparently he tried crossing a river with an average depth of 4 feet.
Hear about the Native American who died from drinking too much tea before bed?
He drowned in his teepee.
Did you hear about the blonde that tried to walk around the world?
She drowned.
Did you hear about the Native American man who drank 200 cups of tea?
He nearly drowned in his own teepee.
My friend Tommy drowned the other day...
At his funeral, we placed a lifejacket on his coffin.
It's what he would have wanted...
I work in tech support and one of my co-workers drowned last week...
we buried him in rice and he came back a day later!
When I told my friend how my dad drowned in the longest river on earth, he didn't belive me.
He was in denial.
A good friend of mine drowned the other day
We put a life jacket on his coffin, it's what he would have wanted.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck
As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
A police officer walked into a mental asylum and spoked to one of the patients.
"I'd like to thank you for saving that man who almost drowned by that river last night. But unfortunately, he hanged himself this morning."
To which the patient replied
"Oh I know! I hang him up to dry him!"
My friend Tim drowned, so we put a lifevest on his coffin.
It's what he would have wanted.
Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea?
He drowned in his teepee.
-My Uber Driver
Dave drowned
So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It's what he would have wanted.
(Gary Delaney)
How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents
Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.
My buddy drowned the other day
I placed a life jacket in his coffin
It's what he would've wanted
My friend drowned. So at his funeral...
...we took a cake shaped like a life raft.
After all...It's what he would have wanted.
A fish went swimming.
And it drowned.
*My 4 year old daughter has just told me her first "joke". She finds it hilarious. "You get it? Fish cant drown. Thats funny!"
I'm worried..
A married couple came upon a wishing well
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a quarter. The wife decided to make a wish, too but she leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Why are Dutch people so tall?
Shorter ones drowned in floods.
My father died today at work...
he worked at the brewery and fell into a beer tank. All the co-workers rushed to help him and to get him out, but despite their best efforts my dad managed to fight them all back and then drowned.
I almost drowned yesterday.
It was a breath-taking experience.
Just got back from a friends funeral who drowned last week.
I got a lot of abuse from the relatives about my floral tribute in the shape a life jacket. But as I told everyone "It's what he would have wanted"
Your son is dead...
DEAD serious... about having his funeral tomorrow. He shot himself.
With a water gun! So I drowned him.
Drowned him with love!
That's right, I raped him to death.
The public pool had to be shut down because they found five drowned blondes in the deep end.
Some kid had put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom.
I tried skateboarding to work.
Almost drowned. I'm a fisherman.
Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck
Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck, a redhead, brunette and a blonde. The nearest civilization was a 40 mile swim away. The redhead swam 10 miles and drowned. The brunette swam 15 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 20 miles, became exhausted and decided she wouldn't be able to make the rest of the swim; so she swam back.
It's been 5 months since my best friend drowned in a river in Egypt.
....and he's still in denial.
Did you hear about the guy who drowned in an ocean of grape juice?
He tried swimming to shore but his efforts were fruitile.
I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda.
When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn tried to swim from Norway to America on a dare. Ten miles from the Norwegian coast, the Swede gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. Fifty miles from the Norwegian coast, the Norwegian gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. The Finn had just caught sight of the American coast, when he sighed "I can't make it either..." and promptly swam back to Norway.
An old Egyptian pharaoh drowned himself when he learned the new, younger pharaoh was taking over...
He was in denial.
why didn't the quickest sperm win the race to the womb?
It drowned in gastric acid.
A man died in an accident when working at the brewery.
When the police arrived at his home to inform his wife, she asked how it happened. "Well, madam, I'm sorry to say he fell into one of the beer cauldrons and drowned," said the officer. In tears, the wife asked the officer, "Please, at least tell me it was a quick death". "Unfortunately not," the officer explains, "witnesses say he climbed out at least twice to go to the bathroom".
Little Timmy drowned the other day.
He was buried in a lifejacket. It's what he would have wanted.
God Will Save Me
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
A wife went to the beach and didn't return. A husband called the police.
The police came in a week.
- We have 3 news for you: good, bad and great.
- Let's start with the bad one.
- Your wife drowned - we pulled her out of the water.
- And what is the good news?
- We have picked up a bucket of large crabs from her body.
- And what is the great news?
- We'll pull it out again tomorrow. Let's go for a beer!
Did you hear about the Native American who died by drinking tea?
He drowned in his tea pee.
BREWER: We're sorry to inform you Mrs. O'reilly that your husband drowned today at the Guinness factory
WIFE: Well at least give me the comfort in knowing it was a quick death
BREWER: well he drowned in only 15 minutes, short considering he got out of the keg twice to pee
I just got home from a close friends funeral, he drowned last week......!
I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I told everyone, "It's what he would have wanted".
What does Titanic disaster and your moms dietary plan have in common?
Lots of drowned seamen.
My friend Dave drowned.
At his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebuoy. It's what he would've wanted.
Two soldiers are in a tank
They both drowned
A German lifesaver carries a dog that nearly drowned from the beach...
He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.
The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.
"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"
"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "I'M LITERALLY SOAKING!"
My parents spin a world globe and randomly point out their next vacation destination.
That's how they drowned.
Did you hear about the Egyptian Man who drowned?
He was in denile
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are trapped on a deserted island 50 miles away from the nearest coast.
The red head decides to swim. She made it 10 miles, then drowned. The brunette also decides to swim. She made it 20 miles then drowned. Finally, the blonde decides to swim. She made it 25 miles, then she got tired and swam back to the island
Irish Water Polo Team
Did you hear about the Irish water polo team?
All their horses drowned.
There was a blonde...
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Dave Drowned
So at his funeral, we put a flotation device on top of his coffin.
It's what he would have wanted.
My friend drowned himself in a vat of varnish. He had a horrible end,
...but a lovely finish.
A man was in the middle of the ocean and about to drown.
A boat came and the man on the boat said, "Come on board if you want to live."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left.
Another boat arrived and the man on the boat said, "You are about to die, get on the boat."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left and the man drowned.
In heaven, the man asked God a question, "Why didn't you save me?"
God said, "You dumbass I gave you 2 boats."
Did you hear about the street walker in Venice?
She drowned.
Tragedy at the Guiness brewery
Paddy O Reilly works at the Guiness brewery, one day Mrs O Reilly gets a knock on the door, it's the manager.....he tells her there was a terrible accident and her husband drowned in a vat of Guiness.
She is devastated and finally manages to sob...please tell me he went quickly and didnt suffer.
The manager replied, I'm afraid not, in fact he got out 3 times to pee
Did you hear about the atheist mom who drowned her six kids?
She said no one told her to do it.
A man knocked on Mrs Smith's door.
"I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident at the brewery," he said.
"Your husband fell into a giant vat of beer and drowned."
Mrs Smith started crying. "Oh poor thing, he had no chance!"
"I don't know about that," the man replied. "He got out three times to use the toilet."
A duo of serial killers got convicted. The sentence caused some debate.
The first one got 25 years. He put his victims in a bowl an drowned them in milk. The other one put the milk in first and got sentenced to death.
A Man Walks Up and Knocks on Mrs. O'Reilly's door.
Oh, Mrs. O'Reilly, I have terrible news. There was an accident at the brewery and your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned.
Oh! It must have been horrible, she cried!
Aye, we pulled him out three times.
Last night I had a dream where I drowned in an ocean of soda.
Actually it was more of a Fanta sea
My best friend drowned in Egypt.
I'm in denile.
There was a blonde , a redhead and a brunette
They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
**The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.**
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
**The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.**
I found a butterfly on the ground without wings, so I poured some redbull on it and BAM...
... it drowned
A plumber is working on draining a septic tank when he falls in the poop and is drowned when the pipe sucks him under. At his funeral, the minister stands up and says:
We are gathered here today to remember our friend, the plumber, >!who was killed in the line of doody.!<
An old joke
The man was trying to learn swimming and one day was about to get drowned in the pool during practice; he was saved by one of those helping him at the last moment. As they got him out of the water, he looked at the others and said: I will never get in water again until i learn swimming!
Ps: this is an ancient greek joke from a 4th-century book of collection of jokes, so…
Mrs Donnelly: Mick? You took me husband Donnie on da trip to Guinness brewery, and heres you are alone. Where's me Donnie?
Mick: Its terrible news, miss. Donnie were leanin over one of those great big vats of stout, fell in and drowned.
Mrs Donnelly (starting to tear up): Oh lord in heaven... Mick! At least tell me he died quick.
Mick: I can't miss. He got out to pee three times.
Happy Saint Paddies ta ya all!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the drowned overboard jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working drowned brewery piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.