The Best 58 Drown Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Drown jokes. There are some drown buoy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these drown suffocate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Drown Jokes and Puns

What do you get when you drown the third wheel in a duck trio?

A sad paradox.

Was in a pub the other day...

Was in a pub the other day as one of the patrons was teliing the classic "What do you do if an epileptic person has a fit in the bath? Throw in the washing!" as a big burly guy walks over and says, "I don't think that's funny. My brother was epileptic and died in the bath."
"Sorry, did he drown?"
"No. He choked on a sock."

Did you hear about the Native American who drank 1000 glasses of tea?

He drown in his tea pee.

What do you call it when many people drown in Berlin?

A killing Spree.

How do drown a hipster?

In the main steam

How do you kill a hipster?

Drown him in the main stream.

A hipster actually told me this one.

Blonde joke

So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!

Drown joke, Blonde joke

Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...

And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.

"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."

"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.

"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"

She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."

"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"

"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"

Why did the hipster drown, when he was iceskating?

He was skating before it was cool

Why don't Amish people water ski?

Because their horses would drown.

Why did the Hippy Drown?

he was tooooo faaaaaaar oouuuuutttt maaaaaannnn

You can explore drown emerson reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean drown strangle dad jokes. There are also drown puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the drowning mathematician say?


Two blondes were driving in a car

They observed another blonde rowing a boat out in the middle of a grassy field. They first blonde turned to the second and said "it's blondes like that that give us a bad name". "Yeah" said the second blonde, "and if I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her"

I've always wanted to drown my troubles

But I can never get my wife to go swimming

[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

Did you hear the one about the man who panicked when his friend started to drown?

He didn't know water do...

Drown joke, Did you hear the one about the man who panicked when his friend started to drown?

I'd like to drown my sorrows.

But I can't convince my wife to go swimming.

If we drown in this upcoming hurricane, would that make us...

...the Joaquin Dead?

If all humans held hands around the equator of Earth

A significant amount of then would probably drown.

What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters?

White noise

What does it look like when someone is drowning?


Where are you most likely to drown?


A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.

I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.

'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'

'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.

'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.

'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a piss'.

I wish I could drown my problems

Unfortunately, my wife won't get in the ocean in with me.

What does a drowning person looks like


A fish went swimming.

And it drowned.

*My 4 year old daughter has just told me her first "joke". She finds it hilarious. "You get it? Fish cant drown. Thats funny!"
I'm worried..

Drown joke, A fish went swimming.

I have often wanted to drown my sorrows...

I just can't convince my wife to go swimming.

Why did the blind man trip and drown?

He didn't see that well

what's the best place to drown a hipster?

in the main stream

I almost drowned yesterday.

It was a breath-taking experience.

Why does a surfing tree not drown?

Because it wears Wooden Trunks!

One night, Mrs. McMillen answered the door to see her husbands bestfriend Paddy standing on the doorstep.....

"Hello Paddy, where is my husband? He went with you to the Guinness factory."

Paddy shook his head and said "Ah Mrs. McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drown."

Mrs.McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"

Paddy shakes his head no, then says "Not really, he got out 3 times to pee."

If you lined up everyone on Earth in a straight line

most of them would drown

Why did the president and his entourage drown?

"Fake canoes."

Why did the kid drown in school?

He got below C level grades.

Water can solve all your issues. Want to lose weight? Drink water. Need to wake up? Splash water on your face. Someone annoying you?

Drown them.

We love Alcohol so much...

If something good happens, we drink to celebrate it.
If something bad happens, we drink to forget it and drown our sorrows.
If nothing happens, we drink to make things happen.
We need to do something about this problem my fellow friends, Please can we meet for a drink and discuss this?

water can solve all your problems, want to lose weight, drink mor water, want to wake up, splash want water on your face, someone getting on your nerves,

drown them

How do Youο»Ώ Drown a Hipster?

Throw him into the mainstream.

Where do you drown a hippie?

In the mainstream (I know it was terrible)

Always remember that children can drown in as little as one inch of water

so please if you are drowning children, don't waste water.

The 15 year old Goldfish I won at a Carnival, died the same day my Grandpa did 15 years ago today.

The Goldfish wasn't as easy to drown in a bowl of food.

How you drown a hipster?

You put them in a mainstream

I had this horrible nightmare last night!

It was just horrifying, I was on a boat in a lake, when suddenly my boat tipped over! As I fell into the lake I realized it was orange, orange crush infact! Tasted delicious, but after a minute I started sinking, I was going to drown in a lake of orange crush!

That's when I woke up and realized, it was just a fanta-sea

Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool

Yes, you've got to be careful when you tell jokes in public.

I was in the pub with a few mates a while back and one of them was telling this joke, I'm sure you know it:

Q. What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?

A. You throw in your washing.

Then a guy came over fuming and said, "I'm sorry but I don't find that funny. My brother died in the bath as a kid while having an epileptic fit.

My friend said, "Oh, I'm really sorry. Did he drown?"

"No, said the man, "He choked to death on a sock."

Water can solve all your problems..

Want to lose weight?
Drink water.

Clear Face?
Drink water.

Tired of a person?
Drown them in water..

The drowning man

A conservative and a liberal are walking along the beach when they see a man drowning a hundred feet off shore.

The conservative throws him a 50-foot rope and shouts to the victim "You provide the other fifty feet." The liberal throws the man a 200-foot rope ... and lets go of both ends.

How did the hipster drown?

He ice-skated before it was cool.

Why did the Pharaoh drown?

He couldn't swim but he was in denial.

A magician working on a ship was losing people's interest with the captains parrot telling everyone how he was performing his tricks.

After a few weeks into the course, the ship breaks down and sinks in the ocean. The magician makes it out alive and holds onto a scrap of wood not to drown. Unfortunately the parrot was also using the same scrap to survive.
A few days go past and the parrot finally looks to the magician and says, "You know what? I give up! How did you make the ship disappear?"

Why don't drag queens drown? (OC)

Because they're flamboyant.

Yo momma is so dumb

That she tried to drown herself on a pool table

How do you kill a hippie?

Drown him in the mainstream

Drowning Hipster

Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool.

A man goes to drown his sorrows after losing a trial. He exclaims, "All lawyers are scumbags!"

The man next to him says, "I take issue with that."

"Why, are you a lawyer?"

"No, I'm a scumbag."

3 men are captured by a group of Indians

The Indians tell the men were going to kill you, skin you, and turn your skin into canoes. You have 3 options, we can burn you, drown you, or hang you.

First guy says, hang me. So they hang him, skin him, turn him into a canoe.

Second guy says, down me. So they drown him, skin him, turn him into a canoe.

Third guy says, I have 1 wish. A fork. So they bring him a fork. He clasps the fork in his hand and says, I don't care how you kill me… he starts vigorously stabbing himself …but to hell with your canoe!

I can lead a horse to water...

But the police told me if I drown another one they'd arrest me.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the drown swim jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working drown downstream piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes