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Dropping Like Jokes

109 dropping like jokes and hilarious dropping like puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dropping like that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Dropping Like Short Jokes

Short dropping like jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dropping like humour may include short dropping jokes also.

  1. Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I'm dropping pounds Only two, but still more than anyone expected.
  2. My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating? So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.
  3. I read that I should treat my wife like I did on our first date... ...so tonight I'm dropping her off at her parents.
  4. A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
  5. I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.
  6. I always make sure to call my Japanese friends before I go visit them... Turns out, they really don't like an unexpected fat man dropping in.
  7. I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today. When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.
  8. Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave... Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.
  9. This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date So after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents' house
  10. I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"
    How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!

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Dropping Like One Liners

Which dropping like one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dropping like? I can suggest the ones about dropped and dripping.

  1. My iPhone 8 Plus is just like a newborn baby ...except I drop it a lot less
  2. What does Snoop Lion do when he forgets to wear oven mitts? Drops it like it's hot.
  3. Teeth are like college. After experiencing with drugs, a few might drop out.
  4. Women are like sharks, One drop of blood and they'll want to rip your head off.
  5. Hey baby, did you drop from heaven? Because it looks like you fell face first
  6. I just dropped the joint I was rolling It really doobie like that sometimes.
  7. I couldn't find my eye drops today It seems like eye dropped it.
    :|
  8. Who looks like a alpaca and drops sick albums in 2017 ...Kendrick Llama
  9. A chemistry lab is like a rave some drop acid and some drop base.
  10. What do Stephen Curry and Obama have in common? They like to drop it from a distance.
  11. School is like my baby boy... It hasn't worked right since I dropped it.
  12. How do you keep a running back from dropping the football? Paint it like a watermelon.
  13. If you catch fire Drop and act like Neymar Jr.
  14. I let the beat drop like old people with polio.
  15. I've never liked new years at time square They always drop the ball

Dropping Like Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about dropping like you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dropping like pranks.

Your house is so small, if you dropped a washcloth, it would look like wall to wall carpeting.

Boy: "Are you dead because it looks like you dropped from heaven."
Girl: "Yeah I died I long time ago, just like that line."

Joe took his blind date, Kim, to the carnival...

"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

Tatoos of Elvis

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely w**... Nelson."

This Joke Is A Real Lemon

A barman was very proud of the fact that he could squeeze a lemon so that no more juice would come out of it He made a standing offer of $1000 to anyone who could get more juice out of a lemon after he'd squeezed it. Every night big, burly regulars at the bar attempted to get more juice from a lemon he'd squeezed, but no one could produce so much as a drop. But one night, a little bloke walked in and said he'd heard of the standing offer and would like to try. The barman said 'How do you think you could succeed when all these blokes have failed?' And the little guy said: 'Just give me a chance and I'll show you'.
So the barman, thinking his regulars would enjoy the joke, picked up a lemon and squeezed it. After squeezing all the juice he could out of it, he handed the dried ring to the little bloke and said: 'Here you go.' The little bloke took the lemon and squeezed it and managed to get one, two, three for fix, SIX more drops of juice. Amazed, the barman said: 'Well, here's your $1000. But what do you do for a living? Are you a professional bodybuilder or what?' And the little bloke said: 'No, I work for the Tax Department.'

A Woman Who Reads

One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with s**... assault,"says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.
Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think.

A disabled kid goes out to the ice cream man...

...and says, "Mithster can I've an Icth Cream??" and the Ice Cream man says "Of course you can, what would you like on it? chocolate sauce?, strawberry sauce?, a flake?" and the kid replys "It doethn't matter, I'll jutht drop it anyway"

The Carnival Date

Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.
"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"
Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."

The Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath;
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."

I see your limerick...

There once was a man from Wheeling
Who pounded his p**... with great feeling
And then like a trout
He'd stick his mouth out
And wait for the drops from the ceiling

Last day for your taxes

A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's t**... and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

A man was being chased in the woods by a lion who was going to eat him...

He ran his hardest, but the lion was advancing quickly. Just as it looked like the end for him, he decided on a last ditch effort. Being Catholic, he looked to the sky, dropped to his knees, and desperately prayed. "Lord!" he exclaimed. "Make this lion a Christian!" Instantly the lion pressed his paws together and prayed "For this meal in which I am about to partake..."

Joke Of The Day!

A physicist goes to a conference and starts a conversation with a black man.
"So, how are you liking the conference?"
"It's alright. I anticipated a little more."
"Well I hope it isn't too bad."
"I just find it all a bit weird. What brings you here anyway?"
"Well I'm a physicist, so I thought I should drop by and refine my thinking. How about you?"
"Physicist? I came because the sign said "Black Holes. But I don't see any African women...."

Know any good anti jokes?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
*He was hit by a bus.*
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
*He was dead.*
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
*He was stapled to the first monkey.*
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
*Pour gasoline on it and light it on fire, WOOF!*
How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
*freeze it and take a band saw to it, MRREEEOOOOOWW!*
How do you make a plumber cry?
*you kill his family.*

A penguin has some car trouble...

A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

So a guy wants to marry a v**...

He adopts a girl, and drops her off at a convent. 18 years later, he goes and picks her up and marries her. On their wedding night, he's getting ready and breaks out some K-Y. The girl says, "What's that for?" The man replies, "You know, so I don't hurt you."
The girl responds and asks, "Why don't you just spit on it like the monks do?"

When holding my baby neice

My Uncle gave me the advice of "Careful not to drop her, we dont want her to end up like you."

These days people treat their cellphones like its a baby...

..except I never laugh when I drop my cellphone

Two men are hiking in the woods.

Suddenly, one of the them drops to the ground and doesn't appear to be breathing.
Luckily, the other man has his cell phone and dials 911.
"911! 911! My friend is dead! What should I do?" he asks.
"Slow down," the operator says. "Don't worry, okay? Now, let's make sure he's actually dead, okay?"
The operator hears silence, and then a sound like an axe hitting a watermelon. Then the man's voice comes back on the line.
"Okay, now what?"

Geography teacher dropped this dad joke on us in the middle of class

Context: talking about permafrost. They way vegetation thaws out is called polygons (cause they look like them)
So he says: on the exam if I ask what polygons are... I'm asking about the permafrost ground. Not a dead parrot!
I think I'm too tired cause I laughed way too hard!

Newborn babies are like a lump of unmolded clay.

They even make the same sound when you drop them.

My dad dropped this joke on a dinner with my girlfriend and I couldn't help but to bust out laughing

Girls are like public bathrooms. All the clean ones are always taken and the only ones left are so messed up and dirty you don't want to go inside.

I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake.....

I said to the man "wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"

Shawty dropped to the ground like she ain't got manners

There was too much lights for an epileptic girl to handle

I found myself in a pub in Cork, Ireland.

A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.
40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said, "Hey y**..., is yer bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000 ."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
OK y**..., pay up." said the Irishman.
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
"Well sir", replied the Irishman, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it.

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in d**......

they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to p**..., 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
p**... and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the ConnorPass.
At the ConnorPass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place…'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
p**... watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, p**... shakes his head and says, f**... dat.
Dis budgie jumping is too f**...'n dangerous for me!'

Ever wonder why Britain's currency dropped so quick after the Brexit compared to everyone else's?

Because paper money weighs like a gram but Britain's is a pound.

A Russian Couple

A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!

A husband and a wife were having dinner…

… the wife dropped some tomato sauce on her top and said 'ugh, I look like a pig'.
The husband responds 'AND you have tomato sauce on your top!'

I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula.

I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change.

French WWI Rifle for sale.

Unused, like new. Just dropped once.
PS. Like you frech guys anyway ;)

I got into a fight with my girlfriend the other day

She was saying a bunch of generic stuff like 'I need to learn to let things go' and 'I always keep things bottled up inside' and 'I make her feel trapped.' I had to interrupt her pretty quickly and tell her "you can drop all the hints you want, I'm not letting you out of this basement".

Dinner

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

The weather in Canada is like a dubstep

It's so nice and warm, but all of a sudden it it d-d-d-drops the tempº

What the difference between playing a piano and dropping a piano?

One sounds like Thelonius Monk, and the other sounds like a melodious "thunk!".

John goes to the gas station

John goes to the gas station and asks the owner: What does a drop of gas cost? The owner answers that he could get a drop for free. So John goes on to say: Well then, I would like to have a tank full of drops.

Soda cans are like d**...

You can never get the last drop out.

How is a christmas tree like a j**...?

The higher they get, they more often they drop needles

A woman walks into the dry cleaners...

Clerk: Hello ma'am, what can we do for you?
Woman: I would like to drop off my coat.
Clerk: Ok, what would you like us to do with it?
Woman: I would like you to get the stain out of the collar area.
Clerk: Come again?
Woman: No, it's mustard this time.

There was three brothers: Little Tear, Little Feather and Little Brick

One day, Little Tear asked their mom:
— Mommy, why I'm called 'Little Tear'?
Then Mom said:
— That's because when you were born, a tear dropped in your head.
......
So Little Feather asked:
— And why I'm called like that?
— That's because a feather fell on your head when you were born, son.
......
Lastly, Little Brick asked:
— *ANNNNNNNNNNHHHHAOAOAOOA*

A man orders a coffee in a cafe.

When it arrives, he drinks and promptly spits out his first sip.
'Waiter!' he calls,'this coffee tastes like it's a day old.'
'Thank you sir,' is the reply,'it's yesterdays coffee.'
The man gives the coffee back to the waiter and says: 'thank you for your honesty. I'd really like to drink today's coffee.'
Taking the coffee, the waiter says: 'we open at 10AM tomorrow, you're welcome to drop by then!'

Penguin is having some car trouble so he drops it off at the auto repair shop

Mechanic tells him it might take a while, so the penguin goes down the street to the ice cream shop to pass the time.
When he returns to the repair shop, the mechanic comes out and says, "It looks like you just blew a seal."
The penguin gets an initial horrified look on his face and then laughs, replying "oh, no, haha, that's just ice cream on my chin."

When you put catnip in a scratching board to encourage cats to scratch it, you think it's cute when they use it.

But I would think that from their point of view, it's more like a crack addict that dropped a rock through a grate and is trying to get it back.

Polio is a lot like how Japan was in World War 2.

Two drops and you'll be able to get rid of it.

I dropped some hair removal cream onto my globe.

Now I feel like I've got the world at my Veet.

Does only being able to recycle number 1 and 2 plastics upset anyone else?

I just moved to a new city and they don't recycle anything above a 2. Is it like this in a lot of places? I hope I can find somewhere to drop off my other plastics.

An Eskimo drops his truck off at the shop

I'll be back in an hour says the Eskimo
The Eskimo stops at an ice cream shop on the way back. Upon returning, the Eskimo asks the mechanic
What's wrong with my truck?
To which the mechanical responds
It looks like you blew a seal.
The Eskimo frantically replies
It's vanilla ice cream, I swear!

My stripper friend drops her kid off at my place when she goes to work.

Easiest job I ever had.
It's like taking a baby from a Candi.

Cheesy pick up line.

Im like an excavator operator. I will dig into your imagination and drop rocks. Then lay some pipe. Sometimes the landscape gets wet and needs maintenance.

Buddy Hackett duck joke

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old f**.... Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

What's the difference between Kylie Jenner and an egg?

One is just a fragile shell, containing contents so shallow, they hardly give any sustenance to those who want it. And if dropped, or tossed away, can be easily replaced by bunch of others, exactly like them.
And the other is an egg.

A spill

While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dropping the base

My wife and I started visiting a marriage counselor

He mentioned that I should start to treat her like our first date
So I took her to dinner, a movie, then dropped her off at her parents house.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks in a bar and orders a beer. After taking a few sips, he notices a gorilla in the corner. He asks hey what's with the gorilla?
The bartender says watch this. He walks up to the gorilla and smacks him in the head and the gorilla immediately drops down and gives him a b**....
The man shocked says, wow that's incredible!.
The bartender asks him if he'd like to try.
The man replies, yeah sure just dont hit me so hard!

When I was in college...

I liked a girl very much but I was afraid to approach her.One day my friend suggested to write my cellphone number on dollar bill and give it to her. I did likewise and told her it was dropped from her wallet.
The girl took it and went straight to the college cafe. She bought a burger and gave that money to the guy in the burger shop.
Now that guy from the burger shop texted me for a year asking how was the burger and when I'm coming next to the cafe.

A young salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen answers, dressed in only a slinky negligee. She asks "Do you like what you see?" Slack jawed, the man finally manages to stutter "uh... yes, very much!"

She says "Quickly, step inside, I think I hear someone coming."
Once inside the beautiful woman drops her negligee and is completely n**.... With a smile she asks "What do you think is the most sensitive part of my body?"
The salesman says "I guess that would have to be your ears."
"My ears? On this luscious body, you think my ears are the most sensitive?"
"Well, yes. When you said you heard somebody coming, that was me!"

If geologists like rock music and mortuary scientists like death metal, what kind of music do physicists like?

Physicists enjoy dubstep, mainly because you don't have to account for wind resistance in the drop

True Story

**Wife** (Drops sauce on dress): Oh! I look like a pig.
**Husband**: Yes! And you dropped sauce on your dress.

A wife wants a fancy Porsche for her fiftieth birthday

She drops hints to her husband:
"You know we've had a really good year, heck, good decade, fiscally. For my birthday, I'm really hoping for something sleek, maybe baby blue. Something you can really step on and it'll go from 0 to 200 in like .2 seconds..."
The husband nods knowingly. So for her birthday, he buys her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...

My friend stepped in a mound of fire ants as he was dropping off his ballot last night...

He was telling me how his vision got blurry and he could hardly walk.
I first asked him if he was ok. Then I said, "that sounds like voterinterfireants to me".

Last night I was reading "A Christmas Carol" to my kids when I dropped the book on my foot.

It hurt like the Dickens!

I dropped my headphones in the toilet

and now they sound like s**....