Dropping Jokes
170 dropping jokes and hilarious dropping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dropping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the phrase "dropping" and its various forms of comedic usage. Learn about traditional expressions such as "dropping faster than..." and "dropping like..." as they relate to popular culture. Find out how music artist Skrillex uses the phrase in his songs. Discover the implications of "dropping deez nuts" and "dropping the soap." Explore the similarities between "dropping" and "jaw dropping" and "name dropping". Experience how "plummet" and "trou" fit into the picture of dropping jokes.
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Funniest Dropping Short Jokes
Short dropping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dropping humour may include short dropped jokes also.
- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
- The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
- You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant, If it floats it's boy ant.
- Did you hear that NYC paid hillary clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.
- A girl walks into a dry cleaner She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The owner says, "Come again!". She says, "No it was toothpaste this time."
- Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I'm dropping pounds Only two, but still more than anyone expected.
- My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating? So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.
- Why was the little ink drop crying? His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
- A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time." - An old lady in front of me dropped $20 and I thought, "What would Jesus do?" So I turned it into wine. I bought wine.
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Dropping One Liners
Which dropping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dropping? I can suggest the ones about dripping and falling.
- The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.
- Are You a gorilla Exhibit? Because I want to drop a baby in you.
- What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor
- Sometimes I miss my ex. So I drop it into reverse and try again.
- If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun.. I'd have toucans.
- What is the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can just drop her off anywhere.
- I dropped my cactus the other day Worst part is, I caught it
- I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean A dell must be rolling in the deep
- The US just dropped a new single today It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan
- Dropped my phone in a load of mayo What the Hellmann
- Despite constantly dropping the ball... Gravity is pretty reliable
- What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner
- If you missed the ball drop last night.... Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl
- I went fishing with Skrillex once It didn't end well, he kept dropping the bass
- I dropped my phone in the bath Now it's syncing.
Dropping Like Jokes
Here is a list of funny dropping like jokes and even better dropping like puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I read that I should treat my wife like I did on our first date... ...so tonight I'm dropping her off at her parents.
- A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
- I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.
- I always make sure to call my Japanese friends before I go visit them... Turns out, they really don't like an unexpected fat man dropping in.
- I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today. When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.
- Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave... Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.
- This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date So after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents' house
- I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"
How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture! - My iPhone 8 Plus is just like a newborn baby ...except I drop it a lot less
- Keep that spark alive My wife asked me "Why don't you treat me like you did when we started dating?"
So I took her out to a nice dinner and then dropped her off at her parents' house.
Name Dropping Jokes
Here is a list of funny name dropping jokes and even better name dropping puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL there's a city named after a waffle dropped on the beach San Diego
- My girlfriend said she is leaving me because of my constant name dropping David Beckham warned me this might happen...
- My Uber driver's name was Bienvenido When he was dropping me off I said " Thank you!" and he said "you're welcome" and I said "No, you're welcome."
- I once heard a story of a man who played Destiny, trying to get the greatest boots of all time, named The Dubstep Grieves. He died waiting for the drop.
- J-Lo's new nickname Jennifer Lopez is called J-Lo. She dropped the last 3 letters of her last name. She got rid of them. Dispensed with them.
Doesn't that make her a pez dispenser? - I asked my wife what Jesus's full name was and she said she didn't remember... till I dropped a bowling ball on her foot.
- An SQL query walks into a bar and starts dropping names
- Name dropping A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Keanu Reeves and I are good friends," he brags to the bartender. "Just not with each other."
- TIL the Enola Gay (dropped the first atom bomb) was named after the mother of the pilot Col. Paul Tibbets His mom gay
- Considering the names of other similar sports... somebody really dropped the ball when naming rugby.
Dropping The Soap Jokes
Here is a list of funny dropping the soap jokes and even better dropping the soap puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you ever find yourself in prison, don't drop the soap. It's full of criminals and you may not get it back.
- Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it.
- I almost dropped the soap bar in the shower Good thing my uncle was there too to catch it
- What are two places you never want to drop the soap? Penn State or the State Pen.
- It's okay to drop the soap in prison.. .. your fellow inmates got your back.
- What is the difference between a Nun and the women who dropped a bar of soap while she was in the bath? One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
- Is it for real what they say about dropping the soap? Sounds too good to be true!
- Best pickup line in jail: "Hey dude, did you just drop that soap behind you?"
- When You Drop The Soap... ...is the floor clean or the soap dirty?
- What did the gay guy with Alzheimer's ask his partner? Where did I drop the soap?
Jaw Dropping Jokes
Here is a list of funny jaw dropping jokes and even better jaw dropping puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man opens the bonnet of his VW Beetle. His jaw drops - "Oh my god, someone stole my engine!"
Then he goes round the back and opens the trunk. "Phew, thankfully I have a spare." - The dentist told me I'd have to get braces, or take the alternative route and have surgery. The price was jaw-dropping.
- My dentist appointment was so great... It was jaw-dropping
- My doctor told me he had some jaw-dropping news for me and I rushed excitedly to his office. Apparently I have leprosy.
- Prison joke Why do defendants drop their jaw when they hear that they're sentenced to life?
To get their mouths ready for prison - Robert Ebert was asked to reflect upon his career as a movie critic... He described it as a jaw-dropping experience...
- My brother dropped my swear jaw on my head this morning. That was a rude awakening.
- Mia Khalifa's Instagram is Jaw Dropping
- How do you recognize a surprised l**... patient? Their jaw drops.
Dropping Faster Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny dropping faster than jokes and even better dropping faster than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What gets dropped faster than an unruly passenger? $900 million in market shares.
- What animal is faster than a cheetah? A cow dropped out of a helicopter.
- The British are dropping pounds faster than a Biggest Loser contestant sorry plz kill me
Fun-Filled Dropping Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about dropping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lowering jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dropping pranks.
I dropped my knife and cut off a toe
After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.
A weather report for you
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
I broke up with a Japanese girl last week...
It s**..., because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.
A physicist, a biologist and a statistician go hunting.
They are hiding together in the bushes and they see a deer 70ft ahead of them. The physicist makes some calculations, aims and fires at the deer. His shot ends up 5ft to the left of the deer. The biologist analyzes the deer's movement, aims and fires. His shot ends up 5ft to the right of the deer. The statistician drops his rifle and happily shouts, "WE GOT IT!!"
So the essay portion of the SATs will be dropped in 2016...
I guess we'll just have to call them the Ts.
A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?
When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'
LPT: How to pick up girls
Try this:
1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."
Why was the little drop of ink so sad?
Because his father was in the pen, and he didn't know how long the sentence was!
My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.
Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.
Me: Oh, man thats terrible.
Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.
Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.
Concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"
What do you call a waffle you drop in the desert?
San Diego
^^San-dee-eygo
^^^^sandee-eygo
^^^^^sandy-eggo
^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out
My wife and I decided we don't want children...
...if anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow.
What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot...
Mitosis
What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
My wife dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged with being good in bed..."
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.
Guy goes to the doctor
A guy goes to the doctor because his knee is swollen and very painful. After a brief chat, the doctor instructs the man to drop his pants so he can examine the knee.
The doctor examines the guy's knee for a moment, looking at it from all angles. He finally looks up at the guy and says, "Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop m**...."
"What? Why?" asks the guy.
"Because I'm trying to examine your knee."
I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children."
I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.
My friend has a habit of dropping things.
It's getting out of hand.
I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer c**...?
Because it had a bad driver!
*drops mic*
My mom dropped this one on me
Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."
My girlfriend dropped this on me after some Tex-Mex last night ...
"I'm chilly"
She steps closer and takes my hand
"Will you be my con queso?"
And before I could even respond ...
"Sorry, was that too cheesy for you?"
Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand?
San Diego
(thought of this myself, it's better spoken)
I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped.
He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed.
It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold.
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners...
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners. On the way out of the door the lady at the counter says come again. The blonde says no, its toothpaste this time.
I used to be a telemarketer
I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."
They say you can't get a decent job without education.....
They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!
What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?
Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.
I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.
It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.
Arrested for being too good in bed!
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm arresting you for being too good in bed"
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges due to lack of evidence.
During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.
Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.
They say you can't get a decent job without education.
But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"
The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"
The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."
There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"
The Imperial Wizard of the k**... was just found dead near a river in Missouri...
Man, the moment the EPA gets threatened people start dropping w**... in our water.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl?
You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.
Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!
The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.
So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today.
That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.
A little girl and boy are in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl starts to cry so the little boy asks her "What's wrong?"
The little girl responds "I have to get a blood test so they're going to cut open my finger."
The little boy's jaw drops and he says "Oh no! I'm getting a u**... test."
I hopped in a cab after work and said to the cabbie
"My wife won't put out any more. Take me somewhere I can get an easy chick that won't say no"
10 minutes later he dropped me off at my house and said
"Just tell her Larry sent you"
A girl walks into a dry cleaner
She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
I saw a guy drop a 100 dollar bill, I picked it up and asked myself: "what would Jesus do?"
......So I turned it into wine
Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said
"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."
What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
My missus was furious at me for k**... dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.
But now it's just water under the fridge.
Two women are talking in Heaven
One woman asked the other, "how did you die?" The woman replied, "I froze to death." She asked the same question to the other woman, she replied, "I suspected that my husband was cheating on me and looked everywhere in my house for evidence. I couldn't find anything and I dropped dead from exhaustion." The other woman replied "maybe if you had checked the freezer we would both be alive."
Students are smart
Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.
I think my dog is upset I quit doing drugs
He hasn't talked to me since the last time I dropped acid.
Two hunters are in the woods, suddenly one of them drops to the ground.
The other one quickly decides to phone the emergency services.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"Help me! I'm in the forest and my friend just died!"
"Calm down sir, first, can you make sure he's dead?"
**Bang**
"Okay, what do I do now?"
A man was out on a fishing trip
When suddenly, he dropped one of his oars into the water, frustrated that he couldn't get the boat moving, he decided to seek help.
He saw someone with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled.
The man appeared offended, "thems ain't 'ores, thems me sisters!"
How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant?
Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant.
If it floats, it's buoyant.
A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room
He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud b**... and rumbling
Dad: Son what happened?
Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs
Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt
Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it
A thief pointed a knife at me and said "your money or your life"
I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.
It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
A blonde joke
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."
Jussie smollet had to pay 10,000 to chicago and do community service to get his charges dropped...
I hope he isnt beating himself up over this
Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl
You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.