Dropped Your Pocket Jokes
15 dropped your pocket jokes and hilarious dropped your pocket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dropped your pocket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Dropped Your Pocket Short Jokes
Short dropped your pocket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dropped your pocket humour may include short pocket jokes also.
- The owner of a dry cleaning business finds a $20 bill left in the pockets of a pair of pants that was dropped off. He now has a dilemma.... Does he tell his partner or not?
Share These Dropped Your Pocket Jokes With Friends
Dropped Your Pocket Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dropped your pocket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pocket money jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dropped your pocket pranks.
A guy is camping and finds his buddy standing over an outhouse toilet about to drop a $50 bill down the hole.
What on earth are you doing? he asks his buddy.
His friend replies I was taking a dump and a $10 bill fell out of my pocket and went down the hole…… and I sure as h**... ain't going down there for ten bucks .
An Scotsman accidentally dropped a penny into an open sewage pit
The pit was full of e**..., and after a few moments of thinking the Scotsman concluded:
"It's not worth it. I will never dive in for a penny!"
Then he checked his pockets for some change, picked two pounds and throw it to the pit:
"Now it's better" he said and jumped into the sewage.
(True story) After reaching the height of his fame, Alec Guinness went into a restaurant and dropped his jacket off at the reception..
When it was time to give his name, the Receptionist told him it wasn't necessary. Feeling flattered, Alec went to his table..
At the end of the night, he went to pick up his jacket. In the pocket of his jacket, there was the ticket stub. On the ticket stub, where his name was supposed to be, it said old man with glasses .
At church one Sunday, a teenager made a contribution to the collection plate by dropping in a coin from his pocket.
As he passed the plate along, someone behind him tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a $20 note. Impressed by the person's generosity, the teenager added the $20 to the collection plate.
But then he received another tap on his shoulder and heard a whisper, "Son, that was your $20. It fell out of your pocket."
The 2 Soldiers
2 soldiers are on the battle field. One soldier drops his cherished pocket watch on the ground. As he reaches for it, his teammate gets shot and falls on top of it. His teammate looks at him with fear in his eyes and says, "There's no way I'm going to get out of this, I am going to die..." The soldier picks him up, moves him aside and says, "Not on my watch!"
See to find out
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket. I wrote back, Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.
A waiter was serving someone when they dropped a spoon...
So the waiter pulled a spoon out of his top pocket. The man questioned why the waiter had a spoon in his pocket and started eating his dessert. The waiter replied we did a study and it showed that 70% of customers drop spoons so it saves us time having one with us. The customer looked intrigued and asked the waiter why is there a piece of string hanging out of your fly. The waiter replied when we go to the toilet it saves us from washing our hands as we can hold our bits with the string . Then the man asked and how do you put it back in . The waiter replied with a spoon of course.
Obama, Biden, and Clinton sit in a plane..
Obama looks out the window and says to the other two, "Ive been thinking. I wish I could do more to help these people; they deserve so much!"
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a $100 bill. He says, "If I drop this out the window, I can make somebody really happy!"
Biden clears his t**... and says, "Excuse me Mr. President, but I can do you one better." He pulls out ten $10 bills and continues, "I can drop ten of these out the window and make ten people really happy!"
Clinton clears her t**... and says, "I can top both of you!" She pulls out of her purse one hundred $1 bills. "I can drop one hundred of these and make one hundred people really happy!"
At this point the pilot comes out of the cabinet and laughs. At the inquiring looks of Obama, Biden, and Clinton he says, "I can top all of you! I can c**... this plane and make millions of people happy!"
A police officer stops at a local ranch
He talks with the old rancher, and tells him." I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs".
The rancher says, " OKay, but do not go in that field over there," as he is pointing out the location the police officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me".
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, and proudly displays it to the rancher.
" See the badge old man? this badge means I am allowed to go on any land ... have I made myself clear".
The rancher apologizes, nods and goes about his chores.
A short time later the old rancher hears loud screaming,
looks up and sees the police officer running in front of the farmers Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the officer makes the bull gains two, only seconds before the bull reaches him.
The rancher drops his tools and stands up and yells.
"Your badge, Show him your badge!"
A guy goes to a restaurant
and notices all the waiters had a spoon in their shirt pocket. He can't help but ask his waiter about the spoon and the waiter says: "Well, a Consulting Firm told us that having a spoon cuts the wait time when a patron drops theirs on the floor, we don't have to go all the way back and get another, just pull the one in our pocket"
The guy is amazed at the answer, but then notices the male waiters had a string coming out of the pants fly and asks his waiter about it.
"The same Consulting Firm -the waiter responds- said when we go pee, we waste so much time washing our hands that pulling it our with the string keeps us from having to handle it, and therefore we save time not having to wash our hands"
Our guy sees a flaw in this and asks the waiter "Well, the string works pulling it out, but how do you put it back in?" to which the waiter says:
"I don't know about the others, but I just use the spoon in my pocket"
Two spoons...
A man and his wife were seated in a restaurant, when the man noticed that all the waiters carried two spoons in their vest pocket.
Curious, the man asked their waiter the reason for this.
"Well, sir," the waiter explained, "an efficiency study conducted by the management determined that the most frequently dropped silverware item is a spoon. Therefore, all waiters carry two spoons so that the item can be instantly replaced."
As the waiter was offering the explanation to the couple, they noticed there was a string hanging out of the fly of his pants.
"What about that?" the man asked, discreetly pointing to the string.
"That, sir, is the result of another efficiency study." the waiter replied.
"When we need to go to the bathroom, we use the string to pull ourselves out and aim. Therefore, we do not have to stop to wash our hands."
"I understand how you can get yourself out and aim," the man said, "but how do you go about getting yourself back in?"
"I don't know about the other waiters, sir," the waiter replied, "but I use the two spoons!"
So I was talking to a woman yesterday...
And told her a very interesting story that happened to me the other day. I told her about this very strange man I saw downtown. It went a little like this:
"So, a weird thing happened to me yesterday. I was out downtown where I saw this guy just standing there. He pulled something out of his pocket...and then dropped it. He then bent down and picked it up, only to drop it again. He kept on doing this....A few moments later, someone else came by, watched what this guy was doing, and then started copying the guy.
He, too pulled something out of his pocket, dropped it, and bent over and grabbed it, only to repeat. Within a few minutes, a fairly large crowd formed and watched what they were doing...and sure enough, the all kind of stood one behind another and started copying the first guy... It was the weirdest thing in the world!"
She responded with extreme confusion, "Wait...is that some sort of joke?"
"No" I said..."It's a pickup line ;)"
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets.
A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."
Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies.
"The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter.
"That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands."
The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
A young priest is unhappy with how little money his congregation contributes every week to the collection plate.
So decides to try a new tack and hypnotize them, using Father Matthews' priceless pocket watch.
Thus hypnotized, they all give the five bucks he asked them too.
Pumped by his success, he ups the amount to $10 the next week.
Amazingly, everybody gives ten bucks each.
The week after that, he decides to up it to twenty bucks, but just as he's about to announce the amount, he drops the watch.
"S**t!" It took the workers two weeks to clean up the church.