dropped Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dropped puns

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.

After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

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I dropped my knife and cut off a toe

After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.

Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.

Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.

Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.

Me: No way. Whats the good news?

Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.

Me: What are you trying to say?

Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.

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An old lady in front of me dropped $20 and I thought, "What would Jesus do?"

So I turned it into wine. I bought wine.

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My mom dropped this one on me

Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"

I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.

Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."

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Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!

The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.

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My girlfriend dropped this on me after some Tex-Mex last night ...

"I'm chilly"

She steps closer and takes my hand

"Will you be my con queso?"

And before I could even respond ...

"Sorry, was that too cheesy for you?"

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The price of oil has dropped so far that...

Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.

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My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

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A thief pointed a knife at me and said "your money or your life"

I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.

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I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night.....

....He hypnotized 7 guys...then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled "FUCK ME".....what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life

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During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.

Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.

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So the essay portion of the SATs will be dropped in 2016...

I guess we'll just have to call them the Ts.

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My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.

Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.

Me: Oh, man thats terrible.

Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.

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Two women are talking in Heaven

One woman asked the other, "how did you die?" The woman replied, "I froze to death." She asked the same question to the other woman, she replied, "I suspected that my husband was cheating on me and looked everywhere in my house for evidence. I couldn't find anything and I dropped dead from exhaustion." The other woman replied "maybe if you had checked the freezer we would both be alive."

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My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed.

It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold.

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Two arabs come to america.

They make a bet who would be the most "americanized" in a year.

After this year, one brother says, "i just dropped my kids off at baseball and we're having mcdonald's later".

The other brother says, "fuck off, towelhead!"

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An old lady in front of me dropped a $20 note, so I asked myself, "what would Jesus do?"

So I turned it into wine. I bought wine.

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I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night

He hypnotised 7 blokes then dropped the microphone on his foot and said 'fuck me!'

What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life

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I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped.

He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.

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18 inch harry..

A first-time John went to a whorehouse. He entered a private room, put $50 on the table and dropped his pants.

At the sight of the man's 18-inch penis, the hooker almost fainted.

"Hold on, pal," she said. "I'll lick it, I'll suck it, but you are not sticking that in me."

The man pulled up his pants, picked up his money and said, "Screw you bitch. I can do those things myself."

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A man was out on a fishing trip

When suddenly, he dropped one of his oars into the water, frustrated that he couldn't get the boat moving, he decided to seek help.

He saw someone with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled.
The man appeared offended, "thems ain't 'ores, thems me sisters!"

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A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room

He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud banging and rumbling

Dad: Son what happened?

Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs

Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt

Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it

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I dropped my cactus the other day

Worst part is, I caught it

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I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean

A dell must be rolling in the deep

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The US just dropped a new single today

It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan

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Dropped my phone in a load of mayo

What the Hellmann

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I recently bought a 256GB iPhone X, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyway, I'm doing a giveaway.

The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not very tall.

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What did the black man tell the yellow man?

"Who the hell dropped paint on us?"

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So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today.

That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.

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What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot...

Mitosis

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I think my dog is upset I quit doing drugs

He hasn't talked to me since the last time I dropped acid.

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My girlfriend dresser up as a policewoman and placed me under arrest for the suspicion of being good in bed.

After a couple minutes all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence

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A guy asks his doctor if he had ever laughed at a patient.

The doctor says "In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional."

With that the guy dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery.

The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me. I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

The guy starts sobbing and says "It's swollen."

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I hopped in a cab after work and said to the cabbie

"My wife won't put out any more. Take me somewhere I can get an easy chick that won't say no"

10 minutes later he dropped me off at my house and said

"Just tell her Larry sent you"

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My mom dropped this one on me

Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."

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What are the most funny Dropped jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dropped? Well, here are the best Dropped dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dropped pick up lines to share with friends.

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