The Best 89 Dropped Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dropped jokes. There are some dropped rung jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dropped nokia puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dropped Jokes and Puns
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
I dropped my knife and cut off a toe
After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.
I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious.
Laughing at my ex-pence.
I met a beautiful girl in the park.
I met a beautiful girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we were making love, I thought .... "These taser guns are well worth the money."
New to Baseball
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
My niece dropped this joke on me today: Why did the king go to the dentist?
He needed to get a new crown
Why are French guns the best to buy?
They've never been fired, and only dropped once.
So the essay portion of the SATs will be dropped in 2016...
I guess we'll just have to call them the Ts.
A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?
When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'
My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.
Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.
Me: Oh, man thats terrible.
Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.
I'm selling a WWII relic....
A beautiful French rifle. It's never been fired and only dropped once.
You can explore dropped fell reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dropped decline dad jokes. There are also dropped puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot...
Mitosis
What did Barack Obama say when he dropped his shell at the beach?
Oh no Michelle !
A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank...
The brunette is the getaway driver. She told the plan to the blonde, told her to be back in less than 5 minutes, and dropped her off at the front door of the bank.
10 minutes goes by.... No sight of the blonde...
20 minutes goes by... No sight of the blonde...
Finally, after a half hour the blonde comes running out of the bank, dragging the safe by a long rope. As soon as the blonde gets into the car, the brunette sees the guard running as fast as he can towards them, with his pants at his ankles...
After a few moments of silence, the brunette realizes what happened and screamed to the blonde, " You IDIOT! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!!"
What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man?
He will B flat
An old lady in front of me dropped $20 and I thought, "What would Jesus do?"
So I turned it into wine. I bought wine.
Selling a french WW2 rifle
Never fired, only dropped once.
I accidentally dropped my girlfriends epilepsy medication in the washing machine...
...now her clothes don't fit anymore
French rifle for sale.
Never fired. Dropped twice.
A woman dropped a $10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?'
I turned it into wine. I bought wine.
Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?
Everywhere.
My mom dropped this one on me
Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."
Someone dropped their Scrabble in the middle of the road...
...that's the word on the street anyway.
My girlfriend dropped this on me after some Tex-Mex last night ...
"I'm chilly"
She steps closer and takes my hand
"Will you be my con queso?"
And before I could even respond ...
"Sorry, was that too cheesy for you?"
The price of oil has dropped so far that...
Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.
I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped.
He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
Husband: Guests are coming tonight.
What's for dinner?
Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans.
Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say "oh no!! I dropped the chicken " . Then again drop another utensil and say "I dropped the spaghetti. Now we only left with green beans."
*Guest arrives*
Wife: Welcome. Please make yourself comfortable.
* loud sound comes from the kitchen *
Wife: Everything alright, honey?
Husband: Sh**t. I dropped the beans.
My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed.
It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them dropped a nickel.
I dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.
It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.
I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean
A dell must be rolling in the deep
During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.
Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.
A cop is walking down the street and notices
A cop is walking down the street and notices a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. Can I help you? he asked.
The blonde woman replied, I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it.
The cop asked, Did you drop it right here?
No, responded the blonde, I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here.
Dropped my phone in a load of mayo
What the Hellmann
Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!
The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
The US just dropped a new single today
It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan
So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today.
That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.
I hopped in a cab after work and said to the cabbie
"My wife won't put out any more. Take me somewhere I can get an easy chick that won't say no"
10 minutes later he dropped me off at my house and said
"Just tell her Larry sent you"
I just purchased a new iPhone 7 Plus, and my son dropped it, So i'm giving it away.
He's 8 years old, tall and quite thin. Good with pets.
My girlfriend and I had sex in my car last night. Was pretty uncomfortable though...
... Maybe we should have dropped her parents off first.
I read that donations to sperm banks have dropped dramatically...
It's probably because, these days, most men do their banking online...
A nice clean jewish joke
The young rabbi was an avid golfer. Even on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, he snuck out by himself for a quick nine holes.
On the last hole he teed off, and a gust of wind carried his ball directly over the hole and dropped it in for a hole in one.
An angel who witnessed this miracle complained to God, This guy is playing golf on Yom Kippur, and you cause him to get a hole in one? This is a punishment?
Of course it is, said the Lord, smiling. Who can he tell?
I dropped my Nokia today.
Now I'm upset because I have to replace my floor.
TIL there's a city named after a waffle dropped on the beach
San Diego
I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge
He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.
My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.
But now it's just water under the fridge.
I feel bad for the hypnotist I saw yesterday
He hypnotized 7 guys then dropped the microphone on his foot and screamed:
F*ck me
Two women are talking in Heaven
One woman asked the other, "how did you die?" The woman replied, "I froze to death." She asked the same question to the other woman, she replied, "I suspected that my husband was cheating on me and looked everywhere in my house for evidence. I couldn't find anything and I dropped dead from exhaustion." The other woman replied "maybe if you had checked the freezer we would both be alive."
I think my dog is upset I quit doing drugs
He hasn't talked to me since the last time I dropped acid.
I have a French WW2 rifle for sale
Never been fired, only dropped once.
For sale: French Rifle
Condition: never fired, dropped once.
That awkward moment when the woman you're dancing with bends over so you can grind it...
But it turns out she just dropped an earing, and no one else in McDonald's can hear the music on your iPod.
A man was out on a fishing trip
When suddenly, he dropped one of his oars into the water, frustrated that he couldn't get the boat moving, he decided to seek help.
He saw someone with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled.
The man appeared offended, "thems ain't 'ores, thems me sisters!"
I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener.
Now her clothes don't fit.
A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room
He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud banging and rumbling
Dad: Son what happened?
Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs
Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt
Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it
A thief pointed a knife at me and said "your money or your life"
I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.
Last year I entered a marathon.
The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.
The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"
I replied, "You really want to know?"
Then I dropped out of the race.
Three girls are in the back seat, their parents are in the front
Girl 1: Mom, why did you name me Violet?
Mother: Oh Violet, your grandmother dropped a violet on your head the day you were born.
Girl 2: Mom, why did you name me Daisy?
Mother: When we were walking out of the hospital the nurse put a daisy on your head.
Girl 3: Jwoandbwoqmsbonbf, whwhsbsowngk
Father: Shut up cinderblock
Johnny became a mailman after hearing how they always slept with women as part of the punchline of jokes. He figured he'd tell the jokes to mothers as he dropped of the mail and then sleep with them. He dropped off package after package and told joke after joke, but no mothers ever slept with him.
One day he asked a mother if he's been mislead by the jokes. Maybe mother's really never slept with the mailmen and the jokes were misleading.
The mother said, oh honey, it's not the jokes, it your delivery.
It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
Jussie smollet had to pay 10,000 to chicago and do community service to get his charges dropped...
I hope he isnt beating himself up over this
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him of at school?
Bison.
I'm so sick of my friends not being able to handle their alcohol
Last night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me home
My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.
Guys i just bought a 256GB iPhone 11, my brother dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!
The kid is 6 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.
This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki
I dropped her off at work one day and she just vanished into Finnair
I once had to pretend that i was taking a shit, so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet
It was a shampoo.
earlier today I dropped an ice cube
It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.
How to stay in class
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"
I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday....
It caused severe pain To-ma-toes.
A man wins a horse race
A man won a horse race after the other horse dropped dead before reaching the finish line.
However, the winner had a hard time enjoying his victory, because it's no fun beating a dead horse!
A few hours ago I dropped a piece of ice
It slid under the refrigerator. I was really upset at first but now it's water under the fridge.
I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so…
I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"
She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, "You dropped your purse on the floor outside McDonald's."
"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"
I said, "I've just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."
My wife just tripped and dropped a basket full of freshly ironed clothes.
I just sat back and watched it all unfold.
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
I only had a few dollars until someone dropped off a bag of quarters at my front door
I'm not sure how I feel about this sudden change
For any collectors out there, I saw an ad in the paper for a WWII French Rifle
The ad read in good condition. Never fired. Dropped once.
(True story) After reaching the height of his fame, Alec Guinness went into a restaurant and dropped his jacket off at the reception..
When it was time to give his name, the Receptionist told him it wasn't necessary. Feeling flattered, Alec went to his table..
At the end of the night, he went to pick up his jacket. In the pocket of his jacket, there was the ticket stub. On the ticket stub, where his name was supposed to be, it said old man with glasses .
The companies that dropped Johnny Depp must really regret their decisions
They shouldn't have followed the Heard
My wife looked shocked....
When I dropped that hairdryer into her bath.
I was going to grill some burgers later
But I dropped the patties and now we're having ground beef
Dropped my suit pants off at the dry cleaners….
On my way out, the lady said come again!
To which I replied, No, just toothpaste this time.
An Scotsman accidentally dropped a penny into an open sewage pit
The pit was full of excrement, and after a few moments of thinking the Scotsman concluded:
"It's not worth it. I will never dive in for a penny!"
Then he checked his pockets for some change, picked two pounds and throw it to the pit:
"Now it's better" he said and jumped into the sewage.
I dropped 4 tabs of acid yesterday
>!So I picked them up!<
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dropped hellman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dropped plummet piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.