Drop Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Drop puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Drop

I dropped my knife and cut off a toe

After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.

Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.

Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.

Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.

Me: No way. Whats the good news?

Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.

Me: What are you trying to say?

Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.

Why was the little ink drop crying?

His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.

Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

LPT: How to pick up girls

Try this:

1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."

What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

My wife and I decided we don't want children...

...if anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow.

Are You a Gorilla Exhibit?

Because I want to drop a baby in you.

I broke up with a Japanese girl last week...

It sucked, because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor

Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl

You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it

Sometimes I miss my ex.

So I drop it into reverse and try again.

From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a condom. Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children."

I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.

If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun..

I'd have toucans.

I used to be a telemarketer

I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.

"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.

I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:

"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me

Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.

What is the best thing about dating a homeless girl?

You can just drop her off anywhere.

I saw a guy drop a 100 dollar bill, I picked it up and asked myself: "what would Jesus do?"

......So I turned it into wine

I dropped my cactus the other day

Worst part is, I caught it

I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean

A dell must be rolling in the deep

The US just dropped a new single today

It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan

Dropped my phone in a load of mayo

What the Hellmann

What do you call a waffle you drop in the desert?

San Diego

^^San-dee-eygo
^^^^sandee-eygo
^^^^^sandy-eggo
^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out

Students are smart

Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No

Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?

Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.

How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?

By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.

What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant?

Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant.

If it floats, it's buoyant.

If you missed the ball drop last night....

Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl

Guy goes to the doctor

A guy goes to the doctor because his knee is swollen and very painful. After a brief chat, the doctor instructs the man to drop his pants so he can examine the knee.

The doctor examines the guy's knee for a moment, looking at it from all angles. He finally looks up at the guy and says, "Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop masturbating."

"What? Why?" asks the guy.

"Because I'm trying to examine your knee."

Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand?

San Diego

(thought of this myself, it's better spoken)

I dropped my phone in the bath

Now it's syncing.

A girl walks into a dry cleaner

She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Why was the little drop of ink so sad?

Because his father was in the pen, and he didn't know how long the sentence was!

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl?

You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.

How do you make a baby cry?

Drop it.

How do you make a baby stop crying?

Drop it again.

Everything I pick up, I drop.

The situation is getting out of hand.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

I'm going to go on a Brexit diet

The pounds will drop fast.

A married couple is getting ready to go out for the evening. The husband is in the shower and the wife is just getting out of the bathtub when the doorbell rings.

The wife hurriedly wraps herself in a towel and answers the door. It's their neighbor, Bob. Bob looks at the wife, who is quite beautiful, and says, I'll give you $800 to let that towel drop. The wife thinks about if for a bit, then lets the towel fall. Bob gives her a thorough visual inspection, then reaches into his wallet and hands her $800. She goes back inside. Who was at the door, honey? asks the husband. Oh, it was our neighbor Bob, she says. Great, says the husband. Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?

I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.

After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo commie con.

Dating a homeless girl

I can just drop her off anywhere after the date right?

What do you get if you drop a piano on a military base?

A flat major.

The worst part about breaking up with my Japanese girlfriend?

Having to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.

I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with marijuana today.

To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

So, I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend recently.

I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

Hey girl, are you Harambes enclosure?

Because i want to drop babies in you.

I've been dropping a lot of things lately...

It's really getting out of hand

What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?

B flat.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?

An episode of Top Gear.

Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it

Someone dropped their Scrabble in the middle of the road...

...that's the word on the street anyway.

Why did Jesus drop out of the carpentry business?

He got too attached to his work.

A Russian Couple

A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!

[NSFW] As I was about to drop my pants, she whispered in my ear "I can handle anything you can give me"...

Apparently she can't handle disappointment.

I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener.

Now her clothes don't fit.

The world's leading scientists build a lie-detecting machine...

...so powerful that if you are detected to be lying, it you immediately drop dead.

They bring around three test subjects. The first one, an Irishman, is hooked to the machine. He says, "I think I don't drink" and the next moment, he's dead. Next, it's the Asian's turn. She says, "I think I'm a good driver" and what do you know! She too is killed instantly. Then the blonde walks up and confidently begins,"I thinkβ€”" and drops dead.

How can you tell when you play RPGs way too much?

When your girlfriend's/wife's pants become a rare drop!

A traditional Iranian joke

A man has a very bad case of worms so he goes to very famous doctor. the doctor assesses his case and says go to the market buy the biggest juicy watermelon you can find, cut off one end drop your pants and sit on it. The worms will go into it and leave your body. So the guy does just that and when he sits down the king worm comes out tastes the watermelon and says " bring it in boys"!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes