Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Drop puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.
His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
Concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"
Try this:
1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
...if anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow.
Because I want to drop a baby in you.
It sucked, because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.
A flat minor
You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it
So I drop it into reverse and try again.
Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.
Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.
I'd have toucans.
I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."
Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.
You can just drop her off anywhere.
......So I turned it into wine
Worst part is, I caught it
A dell must be rolling in the deep
It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan
What the Hellmann
San Diego
^^San-dee-eygo
^^^^sandee-eygo
^^^^^sandy-eggo
^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out
Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.
By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
A flat miner
Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant.
If it floats, it's buoyant.
Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl
A guy goes to the doctor because his knee is swollen and very painful. After a brief chat, the doctor instructs the man to drop his pants so he can examine the knee.
The doctor examines the guy's knee for a moment, looking at it from all angles. He finally looks up at the guy and says, "Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop masturbating."
"What? Why?" asks the guy.
"Because I'm trying to examine your knee."
San Diego
(thought of this myself, it's better spoken)
Now it's syncing.
She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Because his father was in the pen, and he didn't know how long the sentence was!
You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.
Drop it.
How do you make a baby stop crying?
Drop it again.
The situation is getting out of hand.
Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.
The pounds will drop fast.
The wife hurriedly wraps herself in a towel and answers the door. It's their neighbor, Bob. Bob looks at the wife, who is quite beautiful, and says, I'll give you $800 to let that towel drop. The wife thinks about if for a bit, then lets the towel fall. Bob gives her a thorough visual inspection, then reaches into his wallet and hands her $800. She goes back inside. Who was at the door, honey? asks the husband. Oh, it was our neighbor Bob, she says. Great, says the husband. Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?
After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo commie con.
I can just drop her off anywhere after the date right?
A flat major.
Having to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.
To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.
I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.
Because i want to drop babies in you.
It's really getting out of hand
A flat major.
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?
B flat.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?
An episode of Top Gear.
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it
...that's the word on the street anyway.
He got too attached to his work.
A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!
Apparently she can't handle disappointment.
Now her clothes don't fit.
...so powerful that if you are detected to be lying, it you immediately drop dead.
They bring around three test subjects. The first one, an Irishman, is hooked to the machine. He says, "I think I don't drink" and the next moment, he's dead. Next, it's the Asian's turn. She says, "I think I'm a good driver" and what do you know! She too is killed instantly. Then the blonde walks up and confidently begins,"I think—" and drops dead.
When your girlfriend's/wife's pants become a rare drop!
A man has a very bad case of worms so he goes to very famous doctor. the doctor assesses his case and says go to the market buy the biggest juicy watermelon you can find, cut off one end drop your pants and sit on it. The worms will go into it and leave your body. So the guy does just that and when he sits down the king worm comes out tastes the watermelon and says " bring it in boys"!
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.