Drop Jokes
164 drop jokes and hilarious drop puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drop that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the various types of “drop jokes” that are popularly used in comedy. From mic drops to cough drops, air drops, rain drops, ball drops, egg drops, and more, find out how to use these words humorously to make people laugh. Learn the backstory behind each of these word plays, the different contexts in which they are used, and how to lower your audience’s expectations with a clever twist.
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Funniest Drop Short Jokes
Short drop jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drop humour may include short fall jokes also.
- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
- The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
- You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant, If it floats it's boy ant.
- Did you hear that NYC paid hillary clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.
- A girl walks into a dry cleaner She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The owner says, "Come again!". She says, "No it was toothpaste this time."
- Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I'm dropping pounds Only two, but still more than anyone expected.
- My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating? So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.
- Why was the little ink drop crying? His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
- A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time." - An old lady in front of me dropped $20 and I thought, "What would Jesus do?" So I turned it into wine. I bought wine.
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Drop One Liners
Which drop one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drop? I can suggest the ones about dump and splash.
- The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.
- Are You a gorilla Exhibit? Because I want to drop a baby in you.
- What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor
- Sometimes I miss my ex. So I drop it into reverse and try again.
- If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun.. I'd have toucans.
- What is the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can just drop her off anywhere.
- I dropped my cactus the other day Worst part is, I caught it
- I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean A dell must be rolling in the deep
- The US just dropped a new single today It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan
- Dropped my phone in a load of mayo What the Hellmann
- Despite constantly dropping the ball... Gravity is pretty reliable
- What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner
- If you missed the ball drop last night.... Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl
- I went fishing with Skrillex once It didn't end well, he kept dropping the bass
- I dropped my phone in the bath Now it's syncing.
Ball Drop Jokes
Here is a list of funny ball drop jokes and even better ball drop puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't need to stay up and watch the ball drop... 2020 already dropped the ball.
- Guess we're not doing Times Square this year I mean, we already dropped the ball on COVID
- What do being mad at the world and watching the ball drop have in common? Both involve yelling at a big blue ball.
P.S: Happy New Year! 10 more minutes! - I got invited to a ball drop celebration at NYC tonight Turns out it was a bar mitzvah
- I asked my wife what Jesus's full name was and she said she didn't remember... till I dropped a bowling ball on her foot.
- The Vienna Boys Choir is having a special New Year's Eve concert. At midnight there will be a ball drop and… …all the Sopranos will become Altos.
- My aunt lost a foot when someone dropped a bowling ball on her Does she walk with a limp?
No, she's just a bit shorter. - How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."
- How does a pre-teen celebrate the new year? The Ball Drop
- Why did Atlas win worker of the year? Because he never drops the ball.
Eye Drop Jokes
Here is a list of funny eye drop jokes and even better eye drop puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I winked. She bought me eye drops.
- How do Vikings treat itchy red eyes? Tyr drops
- Last night I dropped my phone on my face... Well I geuss my android has turned into an eye phone.
- I am so good a using eye drops I can do it with my eyes closed.
- Birdy, birdy, in the sky.. ..dropped a poopy in my eye. I didn't care, I didn't cry. I just thank God that cows don't fly.
- I was washing the dishes when a drop of the dishwashing liquid I was using somehow got to my eye. It stung so bad I started crying. I guess this is what they call tears of Joy™.
- Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly. - What kind of medicine makes you look down... ...eye drops.
- I couldn't find my eye drops today It seems like eye dropped it.
:| - I went to my doctor, and he told me to drop my pants I need to get a new eye doctor.
(Credit to Bob Saget)
Drop The Soap Jokes
Here is a list of funny drop the soap jokes and even better drop the soap puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today. When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.
- If you ever find yourself in prison, don't drop the soap. It's full of criminals and you may not get it back.
- Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it.
- I almost dropped the soap bar in the shower Good thing my uncle was there too to catch it
- What are two places you never want to drop the soap? Penn State or the State Pen.
- It's okay to drop the soap in prison.. .. your fellow inmates got your back.
- What is the difference between a Nun and the women who dropped a bar of soap while she was in the bath? One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
- Is it for real what they say about dropping the soap? Sounds too good to be true!
- Best pickup line in jail: "Hey dude, did you just drop that soap behind you?"
- When You Drop The Soap... ...is the floor clean or the soap dirty?
Egg Drop Jokes
Here is a list of funny egg drop jokes and even better egg drop puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. Concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!" - How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it? By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.
- How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it? Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.
- Q: How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it? A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.
- A mother Chameleon was so overcome with joy when her eggs hatched that her camouflage dropped. Looking down excitedly, she exclaimed, "I've become apparent!"
- Please drop your best one-liner dad jokes below, I need new ones. By one-liner I mean something along the lines of let's make like an Autobot and roll out or put an egg in your shoe and beat it
- *true story. I dropped an egg on my feet while cooking breakfast I guess the yolk's on me...
- The French chef's apprentice really messed up when he dropped an ostrich egg on the floor. Big ouef
- "Here, you take the baby and give me the eggs.... ...You always drop everything!"
- What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building? New Yolk
Mic Drop Jokes
Here is a list of funny mic drop jokes and even better mic drop puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists" *drops mic*
- Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10? BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE
*drops mic* - What do you call a pirate who is all out of reales(Silver coins)? Long Gone Silver...
/drops mic - What did one fetus say to the other? Guess were wombmates! *drops mic*
- Tumblr. *drops mic, loud burst of feedback*
- Heaviest element Scientists discovered something heavier than Uranium, Your mum.
Drop the mic - How did Gandalf die? From a staph infection *mic drop*
- If I'm so clumsy, explain how I can carry all this recording equipment. *Drops mic*
- What do you call an athletic hater? A.... race-ist...
*Drops Mic... - Did you hear about the clumsy MC? He dropped the mic
Laughable Drop Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about drop you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pickup jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drop pranks.
I dropped my knife and cut off a toe
After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me
Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.
This Joke Is A Real Lemon
A barman was very proud of the fact that he could squeeze a lemon so that no more juice would come out of it He made a standing offer of $1000 to anyone who could get more juice out of a lemon after he'd squeezed it. Every night big, burly regulars at the bar attempted to get more juice from a lemon he'd squeezed, but no one could produce so much as a drop. But one night, a little bloke walked in and said he'd heard of the standing offer and would like to try. The barman said 'How do you think you could succeed when all these blokes have failed?' And the little guy said: 'Just give me a chance and I'll show you'.
So the barman, thinking his regulars would enjoy the joke, picked up a lemon and squeezed it. After squeezing all the juice he could out of it, he handed the dried ring to the little bloke and said: 'Here you go.' The little bloke took the lemon and squeezed it and managed to get one, two, three for fix, SIX more drops of juice. Amazed, the barman said: 'Well, here's your $1000. But what do you do for a living? Are you a professional bodybuilder or what?' And the little bloke said: 'No, I work for the Tax Department.'
I broke up with a Japanese girl last week...
It s**..., because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.
A Frenchman, a Mexican, and an American are on a plane...
The pilot informs them that they lost an engine and must drop some weight. The frenchman throws a bottle of wine out the window, "we have way too much of this in my country." The Mexican throws out his drugs, "we have way too many of these in my country." The American quickly tosses the Mexican out.
A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...
Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
A man is getting into the shower...
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands n**... in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
The world's leading scientists build a lie-detecting machine...
...so powerful that if you are detected to be lying, it you immediately drop dead.
They bring around three test subjects. The first one, an Irishman, is hooked to the machine. He says, "I think I don't drink" and the next moment, he's dead. Next, it's the Asian's turn. She says, "I think I'm a good driver" and what do you know! She too is killed instantly. Then the blonde walks up and confidently begins,"I think—" and drops dead.
Why did Jesus drop out of the carpentry business?
He got too attached to his work.
LPT: How to pick up girls
Try this:
1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."
Why was the little drop of ink so sad?
Because his father was in the pen, and he didn't know how long the sentence was!
What do you call a waffle you drop in the desert?
San Diego
^^San-dee-eygo
^^^^sandee-eygo
^^^^^sandy-eggo
^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out
My wife and I decided we don't want children...
...if anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow.
What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
Guy goes to the doctor
A guy goes to the doctor because his knee is swollen and very painful. After a brief chat, the doctor instructs the man to drop his pants so he can examine the knee.
The doctor examines the guy's knee for a moment, looking at it from all angles. He finally looks up at the guy and says, "Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop m**...."
"What? Why?" asks the guy.
"Because I'm trying to examine your knee."
I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children."
I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.
Having a t**... with a mom and daughter
So it was Saturday night and I had no date and decided to drop in at the bar to get drunk and hopefully a girl to get laid with. As I started downing a few shots I noticed this hot looking mature lady ( must be in her 50s) sitting all alone at a corner table getting drunk and this thought came to mind that if she looks so hot for her age then she must be having a hot looking daughter as well and wish I could have a t**... with them. So I went to her table and asked her if I could join and to my delight she said yes. I chatted her up and next thing I know we caught a taxi and proceeded to her home. In the taxi I told her about my fantasy of having a t**... with a mother daughter combo and to my delight she felt it was a great idea and so we reached her home and as we entered she let out a shout,"Mom you still awake?"
A traditional Iranian joke
A man has a very bad case of worms so he goes to very famous doctor. the doctor assesses his case and says go to the market buy the biggest juicy watermelon you can find, cut off one end drop your pants and sit on it. The worms will go into it and leave your body. So the guy does just that and when he sits down the king worm comes out tastes the watermelon and says " bring it in boys"!
I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with m**... today.
To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.
Someone dropped their Scrabble in the middle of the road...
...that's the word on the street anyway.
So, I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend recently.
I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.
Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand?
San Diego
(thought of this myself, it's better spoken)
I'm going to go on a Brexit diet
The pounds will drop fast.
A Russian Couple
A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!
I used to be a telemarketer
I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."
What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Dating a homeless girl
I can just drop her off anywhere after the date right?
From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?
Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.
Hey girl, are you Harambes enclosure?
Because i want to drop babies in you.
You know what the worst part is about dating a Japanese girl?
If I ever decide to break up with her I will have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl?
You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.
How do you make a baby cry?
Drop it.
How do you make a baby stop crying?
Drop it again.
A girl walks into a dry cleaner
She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Everything I pick up, I drop.
The situation is getting out of hand.
I saw a guy drop a 100 dollar bill, I picked it up and asked myself: "what would Jesus do?"
......So I turned it into wine
Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said
"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."
Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it
What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?
B flat.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?
An episode of Top Gear.
Students are smart
Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.
The worst part about breaking up with my Japanese girlfriend?
Having to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.
I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.
After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo c**... con.
How can you tell when you play RPGs way too much?
When your girlfriend's/wife's pants become a rare drop!
How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant?
Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant.
If it floats, it's buoyant.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A♭m
I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener.
Now her clothes don't fit.
A married couple is getting ready to go out for the evening. The husband is in the shower and the wife is just getting out of the bathtub when the doorbell rings.
The wife hurriedly wraps herself in a towel and answers the door. It's their neighbor, Bob. Bob looks at the wife, who is quite beautiful, and says, I'll give you $800 to let that towel drop. The wife thinks about if for a bit, then lets the towel fall. Bob gives her a thorough visual inspection, then reaches into his wallet and hands her $800. She goes back inside. Who was at the door, honey? asks the husband. Oh, it was our neighbor Bob, she says. Great, says the husband. Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?
I've been dropping a lot of things lately...
It's really getting out of hand
Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl
You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it
What do you get if you drop a piano on a military base?
A flat major.
Due to the pandemic, I had to drop out of my marksmanship class.
I'm going to miss everyone.
A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick
A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick.
Perplexed, the first kid asks his mother "Mom, why did you named me Drop?"
And she says: "Because when you were born, a little drop fell in your head..."
The second kid asks: "Mom, why did you named me Feather?"
She answers: "Because when you were born, a feather fell in your head..."
Finally, the third kid says: "GUhhhGaahh \*loud noises\* HUEHUE"
Sorry guys
After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.
My friend told me, "did you know trees drop edible stuff that's not fruit?"
"that's nuts" I replied.
A woman had three daughters getting married the same day. Naturally she was worried about their s**... life. It was agreed that they would send a discrete message.
Two weeks after the triple wedding the first message arrives. An ad for Maxwell House with the slogan "Good till the last drop." She's happy for her girl.
A month passes and a second message arrives with a Marlboro ad. "Marlboro: Extra long, extra strong." She's a little embarrassed, but happy.
Three months pass. She's really worried about her youngest when finally a message arrives. It's addressed in shaky handwriting and contains an ad for British Airways. "London to Paris: Seven days a week, three times a day, both ways."
She fainted.
A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.
He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.
Trump and his family are traveling in a plane.
Trump decides to drop a 100 dollar note from the plane. His wife asks what he is doing. His reply is I want to make an American happy
His wife replies back Why don't you drop ten 10 dollar notes and make ten Americans happy?
Their daughter gives a suggestion Why don't you drop hundred 1 dollar notes and make hundred Americans happy?
The pilot overhears their conversation and gives his own suggestion on the matter.
Why don't you three drop yourselves from the plane and make all Americans happy?
A couple of tourists are taking a tour of Moscow.
As they are walking, the husband feels a drop of water fall on his face. He turns to his wife and says I think it's raining. No, it is definitely snowing. Replies his wife. They started to argue, and the husband says let's not bicker, let's ask our tour guide Rudolph whether it is officially snowing or raining. They walked up to their tour guide, and ask Comrade Rudolph, would you kindly tell us if it is snowing or raining? It is raining of course! He replies. The husband turns to the wife and says See? Rudolph the red knows rain, dear!
I got arrested for fishing without a license at a dubstep festival.
The arresting officer yelled "drop the bass!"
I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday....
It caused severe pain To-ma-toes.
I bought a bottle of wine
But I was worried I might drop it on the way home so I decided to drink it.
It's a good thing I did, I fell of my bike 8 times.
In University I was doing a 'Degree In Communism' . . . but had to drop out after the first year . . .
. . . lousy Marx
What do bards drop when you kill them?
Lute.
When I was growing up, we were so poor...
We used to leave the front door open all night, hoping a thief would come in and drop something.
I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so…
I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"
She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, "You dropped your purse on the floor outside McDonald's."
"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"
I said, "I've just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
