Fun-Filled Driving Blonde Jokes to Boost Your Mood
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.
He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."
A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes.
When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land.
When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.
He started chasing after the speeder .
When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.
The cop yelled, "Pull over!"
The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.
The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde b**...! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A hundred dollar bill.
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driving her car. The blonde cop says "You were going pretty fast back there. Can I see your license?"
The blonde driver looks confused.
The blonde cop says "Its a little square thing with your picture on it"
The blonde driver reaches in her bag and hands the cop her makeup mirror.
The cop takes the mirror, looks at it and exclaims "Well why didn't you tell me you were a cop? On you go. Have a great day".
Blonde joke
So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!
A beautiful blonde woman ...
... was pulled over by a policeman.
"Is there a problem, officer?" she asked.
"Yes. There is no red light on your car. You can`t go driving around without one," came the answer.
"Oh officer. You are mistaken," she explained. "I will have you know that I am not in that kind of profession."
A trucker and a blonde.
A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving through the desert...
When their car breaks down. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, they have no choice but to walk the road to safety. They each agree to carry something. The brunette brings a jug of water in case they get thirsty.
The redhead brings a blanket in case they need to camp for the night. The blonde brings the car door. The others ask why.
She says, "If we get hot, we can just roll the window down!"
You can explore driving blonde roadside reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean driving blonde backseat dad jokes. There are also driving blonde puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
This cop spots this blond driving
This cop spots this blond driving on the freeway knitting!
Pull Over! he yells.
No! She yells back, Cardigan!
Two blondes are driving.
The first blonde asks, "Is my blinker working?"
The second blonde checks the dashboard and responds, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no."
Two blonde girls...
...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home.
A blonde woman waves a cab
She asks the cab driver
"How much do you charge to drive me to the nearest airport?"
The cab driver answers
"Around 20 bucks"
The woman then says "I'm carrying luggage, do these get charged?"
Driver: "No, i don't charge for luggage"
The woman smiles, leaves her luggage in the cab and then says
"see you at the airport then, ill take the bus"
I was driving down the motorway with my blonde girlfriend the other day and she said,
"I think those people in the car next to us are from another country"
"why is that?" I said
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says, 'stit rey su wohs'"
Two blondes were driving in a car
They observed another blonde rowing a boat out in the middle of a grassy field. They first blonde turned to the second and said "it's blondes like that that give us a bad name". "Yeah" said the second blonde, "and if I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her"
Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.
Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.
As they were approaching Shubenacadde (shoe-been-ack-id-dee), they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... ver-r-ry slo-o-owly?"
The waitress leaned over the counter and says, "Tiiimmmmm Hoorrrrttooonnns"
Two blondes went to a drive-in movie. What movie did they go to see?
"Closed for Winter".
A blond is driving to DisneyLand...
She sees a sign saying "DisneyLand left" so she turns around and drives home.
Two blonde girls are heading to Disneyland...
While driving they see a sign "Disney Left". They cry and head home.
(Little bro told me this one. Not sure if it has been told before.)
A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop...
He says: You were going 95km/h.
The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour.
A blonde is driving her car and...
...she runs over 20 people while driving.
The officer pulls her up and says "Miss', do you know you just ran over 20 people back there?"
She replies:
"I'm sorry officer, what's the limit?"
A blonde is trying to put together a puzzle
She simply cannot figure out how to do it, so she calls her boyfriend.
He asks her: "What is the puzzle is supposed to look like when finished?" and she replies, " it's supposed to look like a tiger."
He drives to her house, and when he gets there, he begins laughing hysterically.
"Why are you laughing?" She asks.
"These are Frosted Flakes."
Did you hear about the blonde who froze to death at the drive in theater?
She went to see Closed for the winter.
Two blondes were driving along in a car...
...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.
One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".
2 blondes
A blonde was driving home when she was pulled over by a female cop, also blonde.
"Can I see your ID?" says the cop.
The blonde starts rummaging through her purse and is getting flustered. "What's it look like again?"
"It's small, rectangular and looks just like you"
The woman hands the cop a small mirror. "Like this?"
"Oh," said the cop. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a cop too."
A blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio..
It says that two Brazilian men were killed. She stats crying and says, "How many is a brazilian?"
The Blonde and the Blinker
Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''
Did you hear about the blondes who were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They were waiting for "Closed For The Winter" to start.
Snow and Ice
A blonde was driving behind a snowplow, she followed him for over an hour. finally the snowplow driver pulls over and asks her what she was doing, she said that her husband had told her that if the roads were covered in snow or ice to find a snowplow and follow it.
He Said" That's very good advice, but I'm done with the Wal-mart parking lot now.do you want to follow me to the mall?"
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland...
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. When they were close to the destination they saw a sign: Disneyland Left . They stopped, started to cry and finally turned around and drove back home.
A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist...
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
A guy and a blonde were driving down the road.
The blonde asks her friend to see if the car's blinker is working. So the guy looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''
Another blonde joke...
A blonde was speeding on a highway when a policeman pulled her over.
The policeman walks up to the blonde and say "excuse me ma'am can I see your driving license and registration."
The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took my license away and then today you expect me to show it to you."
A blonde crashes a helicopter...
A police officer drives by and exclaims, "What happened!?". She says, "It was getting cold so I turned off the fan".
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving through the desert.
The car breaks down, and they've got no cell reception, so they have to walk to get help. The brunette says "I'll grab the bottled water in case we get thirsty." The redhead says, "I'll grab the snacks in case we get hungry."
The blonde rips the drivers side door off its hinges. "I'll take this door, so if we get hot, I can roll the window down."
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are driving in a car.
The brunette mentions that Christmas falls on a friday this year. The blonde says "I hope it's not Friday the 13th!"
Another blonde joke
Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's working, it's not working, it's working.."
2 blondes were driving to Disneyland...
They see the sign, "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home.
How many blondes does it take to wash a car?
Two. One to hold the sponge, and one to drive the car back and forth.
A blonde gets pulled over by a blonde cop
Blonde cop: May I see your driving license?
Blonde driver: Driving license? What's that?
Blonde cop: The thing with your face on it
Blonde driver: Alright
Blonde driver: Reaches in her handbag and hands over her makeup mirror to the cop
Blonde Cop: Sorry, we didn't know you were a police woman as well. Carry on!
Blonde in a field.
A blonde woman is driving down a road when she sees another blonde in the middle of a field and she appears to be swimming. Angry at the site, the blonde driver slams on the brakes, hops out of the car and screams "YOU KNOW, IT IS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!" The blonde in the field replies "Yeah, well why don't you come out here and do something about it?" The blonde driver replies "I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SWIM!"
Smart waitress
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
How did the blonde couple die at the drive-in?
They went to see "closed for the winter"
A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland.
She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.
Driving test (Blonde)
Why did the blonde keep failing her driving test?
Every time the instructor said "let's start" she would jump to the backseat ...
....
....
Two blondes were driving out in the country side
One looked out the window and saw another blonde in the middle of a field sitting in a rowboat, working the oars.
She pointed her out and said, "Its idiots like that that give us all a bad name."
"You're right," said her companion, "let's go drown her."
Two blondes decided
To drive to Disneyland. Those both jumped into the car and started driving. After 13 hours of straight nonstop driving, they see a sign which reads, *** Disneyland - Left ***.
So they turn around and go back home.
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
A blonde was going for a driving test for her license but was nervous as she'd failed 8 times before. After talking with her blonde friends they came up with a sure-fire plan. She was to pick a man as the driving instructor, and to use s**... as a bargaining tactic in exchange for passing her
She came back disappointed though, she failed.
What happened? her friends asked.
When I was s**... him off, I crashed
A trucker in Canada...
Is driving in a winter storm. When he stops at a red light, a blonde lady jumps out of the car behind him, runs up to his truck, knocks on his window and says, "you are losing some of your load!"
He shakes his head and ignores her.
The same thing happens again at the next two lights.
Finally at yet another red light, he gets out of his truck, walks back to her car, and tells her, "lady, stop telling me that I'm losing my load. I'm driving a salt truck!"
Two blondes froze to death at the drive-in theater.
They were there to see "Closed for Winter."
The Blonde in the Boat
A blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a corn field. Being miffed by the ridiculousness of this situation, she pulled her car over and proceeded to yell at the other blonde, You know, it's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and beat you!
Lamborghini
A blondie was driving down the road with her Lamborghini. She stops at a red light.
A man walking on the sidewalk sees the car.
Man: Wow.. So beautiful!
The blonde rolled down her window.
Blonde: Are you talking about the car or me?
Man: I was talking about my reflection
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Car check
Two blonde girls were driving home one night when one asked the other to check if the car's indicators are working.
She promptly sticks her head out the window and says: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no."
Joke translated to English from German
A blonde is driving home when she gets pulled over by a police officer.
"Mam, may i see you driving license?!"
"What's a driving license? "
"You know this thing in your purse with your face on..."
She starts digging through her purse, finds her cosmetic mirror, and hands it over to the policeman.
The policeman takes a look at the mirror and responds-
"Should have told me right away your a police officer too "
Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break
On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how s**... you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"
Where are we?
Not mine:
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."
A blonde is driving down the road when she spots another blonde in a row boat in the middle of a dirt field.
She pulls over, jumps out of her car and screams You're the reason us blondes get a bad name! I should swim out there and kick your a**...!!
Why did the two blondes freeze to death at the drive in cinema?
They went to see Closed for the Winter .
A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.
Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look s**.... If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your a**...!
Two blondes are driving to Disneyland...
Well, one's driving....
After what seems like ages they finally are in Anaheim, then they come to a sign that says
"Disneyland Left".
So they went back home.
A woman drives a car
A blonde woman drives a car and hits a cop. She stops and checks if he's still alive, no vital signs. Panicked, she calls the emergency service.
W: *Hello, is this 911?*
D: *Yes, this is 911, what's your emergency?*
W: *You're now 910.*
A blonde saved enough money to buy a convertible.
So she goes out for a drive into the country. Top down, music blaring, what people stereotypically do in convertibles.
She gets to the middle of a field, and sees her friend, who is also blonde, rowing in a boat. In the middle of a field.
She puts her car in park and steps out.
What are you doing?! She yells.
Can't you see I'm boating? Her friend replies.
You're in the middle of a field! You can't row a boat in the middle of a field! It's blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad! I'd go out there and tell you off, but I don't know how to swim.
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.
He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She did as told and said " Yes, No, Yes, No.
A blonde was driving down the highway and noticed another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field
She pulled over to the side of the road and yelled,
It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name!
And continued, you're lucky I can't swim, or I'd come over there and kick your a**...!
Blonde lady driving down a dirt road…
When she sees another blonde woman in a row boat out in the middle of a cotton field. She slams on her brakes, fuming, and yells out to the lady in the boat HEY!! IT'S DUMB BLONE b**... LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD REPUTATION!! AND IF I COULD SWIM, I'D COME KICK YOUR a**...!!
A blonde is driving on the interstate…
Her husband calls her and says... "Be careful darling, it's just been on the radio that someone is driving the wrong way on the interstate" "Someone?" she replies, "theres hundreds of em!"
A highly successful blonde business woman was headed west
She was on her way to a work conference, driving through Arkansas.
As she's cruising along she comes across a farm and out in the middle of the field is a blonde in a rowboat, surrounded by cows, rowing like mad and going nowhere.
She's p**.... She pulls over and jumps out of her car, runs up to the fence, and begins shouting.
"I don't know who the h**... you are, but you're giving all of us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come over there and kick your a**...!"
2 Blondes drive past corn field
They see another blonde, in the middle of the field in a row boat, rowing away.
"It's blondes like that that give the rest of us a bad name!" one complains to the other. "Yeah! If I could swim, I'd teach her a lesson!" replied the other
The guessing game
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown.
She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
\- "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
\- "I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
\- "Hey lady," says the shepherd, "if I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Ah, blondes.
Two blondes are driving through farm country. As they are chatting and enjoying the scenery, they notice something unusual and pull over to investigate.
There they see, in the middle of a wheat field, a blonde sitting in a boat rowing furiously but obviously not going anywhere.
After watching for a few minutes, the first blonde says this really p**...me off. Dumb blondes like that one give the rest of us a bad name!
The second blonde says I agree. And if I could swim, I'd go out there and kick her a**...!
A blonde called her car customer service saying she could only drive her car during the day. During the night, it didn't move at all.
A mechanic comes and after an inspection couldnt find anything wrong.
"You sure you put the right fuel?"
"Yup. Petrol"
Eventually, he asks her if shes using the right gears.
She says, "Of course, I'm not s**.... I'm using D during the day and N during the night"
There's a t**... blonde giving quite a show to cars driving by in my neighborhood...
The garbage company told her to take her cans out by the side of the road on Tuesday mornings.
A police man spots a blond driving a car and knitting at the same time.
He gets her to roll down her window.
Pull over he yells. No silly she replies it's a scarf !
"I got a compliment on my driving today," said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield that said "parking fine".
Two blondes were driving down the road...
The blonde driver looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.''
