Driving Blonde Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Driving Blonde puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Driving Blonde

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.

She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.

At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."

He ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland.

She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.

A blond is driving to DisneyLand...

She sees a sign saying "DisneyLand left" so she turns around and drives home.

A blonde crashes a helicopter...

A police officer drives by and exclaims, "What happened!?". She says, "It was getting cold so I turned off the fan".

Another blonde joke

Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's working, it's not working, it's working.."

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving through the desert.

The car breaks down, and they've got no cell reception, so they have to walk to get help. The brunette says "I'll grab the bottled water in case we get thirsty." The redhead says, "I'll grab the snacks in case we get hungry."

The blonde rips the drivers side door off its hinges. "I'll take this door, so if we get hot, I can roll the window down."

Two blonde girls...

...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home.

Smart waitress

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

A blonde woman waves a cab

She asks the cab driver
"How much do you charge to drive me to the nearest airport?"

The cab driver answers
"Around 20 bucks"

The woman then says "I'm carrying luggage, do these get charged?"

Driver: "No, i don't charge for luggage"

The woman smiles, leaves her luggage in the cab and then says
"see you at the airport then, ill take the bus"

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.
As they were approaching Shubenacadde (shoe-been-ack-id-dee), they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... ver-r-ry slo-o-owly?"

The waitress leaned over the counter and says, "Tiiimmmmm Hoorrrrttooonnns"

A trucker and a blonde.

A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.

"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.

He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.

"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.

The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist...

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

Two blondes were driving along in a car...

...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.

One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".

A blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio..

It says that two Brazilian men were killed. She stats crying and says, "How many is a brazilian?"

Pronounce it please!

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.


As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the "blonde" employee: "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are at... VERY SLOWLY?"


The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said...
"Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing"

My (blonde) sister hates blonde jokes. I (redhead) told her I have a redhead joke for her. She was eager to hear it!

A redhead goes for a drive through the country, just enjoying the peaceful ride with her windows open. She has to stop as a shepherd is moving his flock across the road. The redhead gets out of her car to stretch and has an idea.

"Hey Mister! If I can guess how many sheep you have, may I keep one?"

The shepherd has hundreds of sheep and feels confident enough to agree. The redhead looks over the flock and says, "361." The shepherd is stunned that she guessed correctly but, being a man of his word, allows her to pick out her favorite. The redhead is about to put her new pet in her car when the shepherd calls out to her.

"Hey Lady! If I can guess your real hair color, may I have my dog back?"

 

My sister was not amused.

College Engineer

So a Engineering student is studying outside when his colleague drives up in a shiny new motorcycle.

"Hey!" says the college student, "Where'd you get the motorcycle."

His colleague replied "You know it was the strangest thing. I'm walking around town when suddenly a beautiful blonde girl in a black skin tight jumpsuit drives up on this motorcycle. She takes one look at me, tore off her leather jumpsuit (which was the only thing she was wearing) points to the motorcycle and says 'take whatever you want'. So I thought about it and I took the motorcycle."

"Good choice" says the college student, "I don't think that jumpsuit was going to fit you anyways".

Two Ditzy blondes...

A ditzy blonde is driving 80 mph down the highway, 20 miles over the speed limit. A ditzy blonde police officer pulls her over. The police officer asks to see her license, but the ditzy blonde driver has no idea what a license is. The officer tells her it is an identification card with her picture on it. The driver rummages in her purse and pulls out her makeup mirror, opens it up, sees herself in the mirror, and hands it to the police officer.

The police officer looks at the mirror and says, "Oh! You should have told me you were a police officer as well!"

Another blonde joke...

A blonde was speeding on a highway when a policeman pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and say "excuse me ma'am can I see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took my license away and then today you expect me to show it to you."

A blonde was driving faster than the speed limit in her new red car.

A blonde was driving faster than the speed limit in her new red car. A police officer, who was also a blonde, asked for the blondes license.

The blonde searches through her purse and gets more frustrated when she finally asks the officer "what does it look like?"

The officer says "it's a rectangle and it has your face on it".

Finally, the blonde takes out a small mirror and says "here you go". The officer looks at it and says "you can go, I didn't realise you were a cop".

Blonde driver

A blonde was driving down the highway. Soon she heard sirens and saw lights behind her, and was pulled over. A cop, also a blonde woman, approached her door.

"You were speeding, miss," she said. "May I see your license?"

The blonde driver rummaged through her purse for a minute before looking up in confusion. "Well, what's it look like?" she asked.

"It's a small square thing with your picture on it," said the cop.

The driver looked again and finally pulled out a small mirror and handed it to the cop. The blonde cop looked at it and handed it back.

"Okay, you can go," she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a police officer."

Finally, a smart blonde joke.

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the
loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,
she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground
garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very
happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two
weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Two blondes are driving.

The first blonde asks, "Is my blinker working?"

The second blonde checks the dashboard and responds, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no."

I took a look at my wife one day and said ...

... "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a small sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but at least I got to sleep with a hot 25-year-old blonde every night.

Now, we have a nice house, nice cars, big king size bed and plasma screen TV, but now I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and she would buy me a 10-inch black & white TV.

Double dose (Blonde joke)

So, a blonde woman is driving down the road, speeding, when a cop pulls her over. Hoping she can get out of a ticket, she waits until a blonde police officer shows up at her door.

"Can I see your driver's license and registration?" the blonde policewoman asks.

"Which one's the driver's license?" the blonde civilian asks.

"It's a small rectangular thing with a photo of you on it..." the officer replies. The driver pulls out her pocket mirror and hands it over. "Oh, my mistake!" the officer said, looking at it. "If I knew you were a police officer, I wouldn't have pulled you over."

A blonde in a snowstorm

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

Blonde in a field.

A blonde woman is driving down a road when she sees another blonde in the middle of a field and she appears to be swimming. Angry at the site, the blonde driver slams on the brakes, hops out of the car and screams "YOU KNOW, IT IS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!" The blonde in the field replies "Yeah, well why don't you come out here and do something about it?" The blonde driver replies "I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SWIM!"

I was driving down the motorway with my blonde girlfriend the other day and she said,

"I think those people in the car next to us are from another country"
"why is that?" I said
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says, 'stit rey su wohs'"

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driving her car. The blonde cop says "You were going pretty fast back there. Can I see your license?"

The blonde driver looks confused.

The blonde cop says "Its a little square thing with your picture on it"

The blonde driver reaches in her bag and hands the cop her makeup mirror.

The cop takes the mirror, looks at it and exclaims "Well why didn't you tell me you were a cop? On you go. Have a great day".

Alligator Shoes

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'


The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?'


The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.


He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.


Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.


Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration . . .

"Sonofabitch!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"

A cowboy is walking naked down main street...

and the sheriff came driving by and saw him. BWOOP BWOOP! He pulls over and talks to him.
"Son, why are you naked in the middle of town?"
The cowboy chuckles and says "Well, it's a long story."
"There is a naked cowboy on main street in my town. I got time for a long story, let's hear it."
"Alright, so I was throwin' hay in my barn when a pretty little blonde lady comes in and says 'It's mighty hot in here, why don't you take your shirt off?' I did and she did the same, and I didn't mind. Then she says 'why don't ya set down and take your boots off?' I do and she set down beside me. Then she says 'why don't ya take them pants off?' I do and she does the same. Then she looks at me and says 'now go to town.' So here I am!"

A blonde is driving her car and...

...she runs over 20 people while driving.
The officer pulls her up and says "Miss', do you know you just ran over 20 people back there?"
She replies:
"I'm sorry officer, what's the limit?"

Another blonde joke

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.

She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring.
Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the right!…"

A blonde was driving a bit too fast, and was pulled over by a female blonde cop

A blonde was driving a bit too fast, and was pulled over by a female
blonde cop.

The cop asked the woman for her driving licence. The blonde driver
fumbled through her overstuffed handbag but just couldn't find her
licence. The cop said, "C'mon ma`am, it can't be that hard to find. It's rectangular and has your picture on it."

The blonde driver continued rifling through the handbag and found
the only rectangular object in it: a small mirror. She looked in it, saw herself, shrugged, and handed it the cop.

The blonde cop took one look and said, "Why didn't you tell me
you're a cop? Have a nice day."

Another blonde joke.

A blonde has her hair dyed brown. A few days later she's out driving through the countryside when she stops her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she says to the shepherd, If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one? The shepherd agrees, so the blonde thinks for a moment and says, 352. The shepherd is amazed, You're right! Which sheep do you want? The blonde picks the cutest animal. The shepherd says to her, Okay. How's this for a bet? If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?

A blonde is driving down the street...

Suddenly she is stopped by a police car. A police officer gets out of the car and walks up to her car and says: "Ma'am I'm gonna need to see your papers and your drivers license."

The blonde hands him her papers but looks at the police officer confused and asks: "Aren't my papers and my drivers license the same thing?"

"No Ma'am, your drivers license is like a small flat thing with a picture of you on it.

The blonde is searching her back when she suddenly yells:" Found it!" and hands the police officer a mirror.

The police officer replies:" Oh, I'm sorry. If i would have known you worked for the police too i would't have stopped you!"

Blondes and alligator shoes

She desperately wanted a pair of beautiful alligator shoes.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?'

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.
With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.

Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration .....Son-of-a-bitch!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO !

Blonde joke

So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!

A blonde gets pulled over by a blonde cop

Blonde cop: May I see your driving license?

Blonde driver: Driving license? What's that?

Blonde cop: The thing with your face on it

Blonde driver: Alright

Blonde driver: Reaches in her handbag and hands over her makeup mirror to the cop

Blonde Cop: Sorry, we didn't know you were a police woman as well. Carry on!

Three blonde dudes drive into the desert

When they are in the middle of the day, their car breaks down. For their hike to town, they each decide to take one thing with them.

One blonde takes a tire. The second bloke takes a seat. The last blonde takes one of the car doors.

The first man says to the other two I'm bringing the tire because if I can't walk anymore, the tire will take me. The second says: But the seat is more comfortable than the tire. They both then look at the third and ask: Why bring a car door?

The thirty blonde man replies, Dudes, if I get hot, I can just roll down the window.

What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?

A hundred dollar bill.

Two blondes went to a drive-in movie. What movie did they go to see?

"Closed for Winter".

3 buddies go on a ski trip

After a long 18 hour drive, they get to mountain and they are exhusted. So they quickly rent a cabin and rush in to get to bed. When they get inside they realize that there is only one bed, and quickly agree to share it because they just want to sleep.
When they woke up they all felt refreshed and the guy on the far right said, "I just had the best wet dream ever, I was with this hot blonde that would just not stop. "
The guy on the far left, to his surprise said, "wow, I also had a wet dream, I saw the girl of my dreams and we were going at it too!"
The guy in the centre confused said, "you guys are lucky, all i dreamt of was skiing and for some reason my hands are sticky"

Two blondes froze to death at the drive-in theater.

They were there to see "Closed for Winter."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving through the desert...

When their car breaks down. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, they have no choice but to walk the road to safety. They each agree to carry something. The brunette brings a jug of water in case they get thirsty.
The redhead brings a blanket in case they need to camp for the night. The blonde brings the car door. The others ask why.

She says, "If we get hot, we can just roll the window down!"

Two blondes decide their house needs new siding

So they go out and buy the materials and return home to do the job. They decide it would be best for the first blonde to work on the front and the second on the back.

After about an hour the first blonde goes to the back to see how it's coming and watches as the other blonde picks up a nail and drive in, then pick up another nail and throws it on the ground and continues this repeatedly.

The first blonde yells "Why are you throwing good nails on the ground?"

The second blonde replies "They are defective! The pointy ends are pointing the wrong way."

"You idiot!" Shouts the first blonde. "Those are for the other side of the house. "

So there's this blonde...

and she's sick and tired of being stereotyped as the dumb blonde, so she decides to dye her hair and move to another city. After she died her hair brown, she packs up her things and leaves for the new city. Driving down a barren country road on the way there, she starts to get really hungry. With no restaurants in sight, she pulls in to the only home as far as the eye can see, a sheep farm. Thinking a sheep would make a tasty meal, she walks up to the house where the farmer is sitting on the front porch and asks him if she can guess how many sheep there are if she can have one. The farmer agrees. The woman has a knack for counting and adds up all the sheep really quickly and says "72". The farmer says "whelp, that's right, go grab your sheep and leave." The woman picks up her choice and starts walking back to her car, but before she gets in the farmer shouts after her "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

The Blonde and the Blinker

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

25 years of marriage

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland...

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. When they were close to the destination they saw a sign: Disneyland Left . They stopped, started to cry and finally turned around and drove back home.

Horrible Accident

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

A Blonde Joke

Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"

The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"

He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.

"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"

"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

smart blonde joke

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decided to take a vacation to Australia. None of them made it back alive.

The redhead hopped off the plane and headed straight for the beach. She was eaten by a shark shortly thereafter.

The brunette was tired after her long flight, so she headed straight for her hotel to take a nap. After her nap, she got up to head to the opera, but a spider had slipped into her shoes and when she tried to put them on she was bitten and died.

The blonde was found drowned in her car off the coast of Florida. She'd taken one look at flight tickets and figured it was cheaper to drive.

How many blondes does it take to wash a car?

Two. One to hold the sponge, and one to drive the car back and forth.

Safety in Snowplows

A blond gets into her car while an incredibly powerful winter storm surrounds her. She starts the car and puts it in drive when suddenly her anxiety sets in. The horrible weather begins to worry her; she fears that she won't ever get home in it.

It's at this time (and through a stroke of luck) she notices a snowplow in the distance up ahead. After a huge sigh of relief she keeps pace with the plow feeling it's safety as it clears the snow in front of her.

Multiple hours pass by when eventually the plow truck pulls over. The driver gets out and approaches her car window. When she rolls it down, he asks: "Why have you been following me for so long? Are you okay?" She replies: "My dad had always told me to follow a snowplow in a blizzard when the roads feel unsafe."
The snowplow driver shrugs his shoulders and replies: "Okay... well I'm finished with this parking lot, I'm heading over to doΒ the one across the street next."

Comfortable

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a slow reader."

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City...

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Who doesn't enjoy a blonde joke

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000? The blond replies….. Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?

So this blonde cop pulls over this lady...

So one day this blonde chick is driving down the interstate when a cop pulls her over. The man walks towards the driver door, as the blonde girl rolls down the window. She says, "Hello officer, what can I help you with today?" The cop looks at her and says, "Ma'am I'm going to need to see your driver's license." The woman looks at him and says, "What is a driver's license?" He says, "It's the little rectangle thing that has your picture on it." So she looks around the car in a hurried rush, searching and searching. Until finally, she found a mirror in her purse. She then hands him the mirror. The cop looks shocked and says to her, "I'm so sorry ma'am but if I would've known you were a cop I wouldn't have pulled you over."

Two blondes were driving in a car

They observed another blonde rowing a boat out in the middle of a grassy field. They first blonde turned to the second and said "it's blondes like that that give us a bad name". "Yeah" said the second blonde, "and if I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her"

Did you hear about the blonde who froze to death at the drive in theater?

She went to see Closed for the winter.

Giving blondes a bad name

A blonde woman is driving her car on an empty road past a field of corn one day, and spots a strange sight. In the middle of the field, a blonde girl is sitting in a rowboat, attempting to paddle to the road.

Furious, the woman stops her car and gets out. She shouts to the girl, "What are you doing out there? You look ridiculous! I'm tired of people giving blondes a bad name and making us look stupid!"

The girl replies, "I'm just trying to get back to the edge, can't you help me out?"

To this the woman says, "I would help, but I don't have a boat!"

Renting a dirty video

A blonde decides to do something she"s never done before - rent a dirty movie. She drives to the local Video Warehouse and makes here way to the adult section in the back.

After looking around at titles, she selects a something that sounds very stimulating.She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.

To her disappointment there"s nothing but static on the screen. She calls the store to complain and says "I just rented an adult movie from you and there"s nothing on the tape, but static"

The clerk apologized about the defective video and asked, "which title did you rent?"

The blonde replied, "it"s called Head Cleaner."

The best blond joke I know.

This blond woman was tired of all these "stupid blond jokes." So she decided to do something about it. She went to a salon and dyed her hair black. On the drive home, feeling very pleased about not being blond anymore, she spots this stupid blond on her front yard rowing a boat and not going anywhere. She says to herself.

"Thats it! Iv'e had enough, I'm going to say something!"

She pulls over her car gets out and walks to the edge of the lawn that the blond is rowing her boat in. She screams at the blond.

"You know it's stupid blonds like you that made me dye my hair black!"

But no response, the blond women just kept trying to row the boat on the lawn. The more she watched the more she become upset and frustrated until she yells out.

"You're lucky I can't swim or else I'd swim over there right now and tip that boat over!"

2 blondes

A blonde was driving home when she was pulled over by a female cop, also blonde.
"Can I see your ID?" says the cop.
The blonde starts rummaging through her purse and is getting flustered. "What's it look like again?"
"It's small, rectangular and looks just like you"
The woman hands the cop a small mirror. "Like this?"
"Oh," said the cop. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a cop too."

A blond is driving down the road....

when a cop pulls her over for the tail light being broken. The cop approaches the car when he hears rumbling from the truck. "What's in the trunk, please open it? Said the cop. So the blond reluctantly opens the truck and there are 3 penguins sitting there. The cop says, "Why do you have 3 penguins in your trunk? I will give you a warning for your tail light only if you take them to the zoo immediately!" "Ok, ok right away," replied the blond.
The next day the cop sees the same car driving with the same tail light broken. So the cop pulls over the blond again. He approaches the car and hears rumbling from the truck again. "Miss, open your trunk!" The blond confusingly opens the trunk and there are 3 penguins with sun glasses on. "Ma'am, I told you specifically to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday. Why do you still have them?"
The blond said, "What do you want, I took them zoo and now I'm taking them to the beach."

Cops and Speeders

TW: blonde joke

A blonde was driving on the highway and a motorcycle officer pulled her over for speeding.

The officer approached the drivers door and when her helmet came off, turns it was a blonde female cop. She asked the driver for her license. The driver frantically searched her wallet and then her purse and finally pulled out a small square makeup mirror. She looked at it, saw her face, and handed it to the cop.

The cop looked at the mirror and said gee why didn't you tell me you were a cop? You're free to go!

Canadian Blonde Joke.

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says " Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Canada and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

A blond woman drives by a cornfield.

While driving, she looks out her window and saw that in the middle of the cornfield was another blond woman, sitting in a boat, and rowing as if the boat was in water.

The blond in the car was amazed by what a stupid thing she was looking at. So she stops her car, gets out, and yells "It's blonds like you that give blonds like me such a hard time in the world!"

The blond in the boat then yells, "What's wrong? You want to fight about it?"

So the blond that was driving answered, "I would, but I don't know how to swim."

Two blondes decided

To drive to Disneyland. Those both jumped into the car and started driving. After 13 hours of straight nonstop driving, they see a sign which reads, *** Disneyland - Left ***.

So they turn around and go back home.

A blonde, brunette, and a red head...

So a blonde, brunette,and a red head are each forced to kill their husbands and dispose of the corpse. They all kill their victim and have the responsibility of disposing of the body so they all throw the body in the trunks of their cars. Now, they each have to drive to the location where they can safely dispose of the body. The red head gets in her car and decides she'll drive in the left lane since that's the fast lane, so she can go fast, get to the location quickly, and dispose of the body. A cop pulls her over for going too fast, she gets a ticket but gets back on her way to get rid of the body, no problem. Brunette gets into her car decides she'll drive in the right lane since that's the lane with slower traffic, to not look suspicious. Cop pulls her over for driving too slow and impeding traffic, gives her a ticket but she continues on her way, no problem. Blonde gets into her car decides to drive in the HOV lane since she never sees anyone there it'll be a smooth ride to the location. Cop pulls her over for driving in the HOV lane with only person. Cop writes her a ticket for that, blonde reads the ticket and says "No, officer, I'm not the only person in the car I have my husband in the trunk.

Made it up myself not the best but I think it is OC

Blonde gets lost in a snowstorm...

She didn't panic however because when she was younger her dad taught her to wait for a snow plow and then just follow the snow plow to safety. Sure enough a snow plow drives by and she follows behind it for 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow stops and gets out and asks her if she needed anything, she says no and tells the man the lesson her father had taught her, to follow a snow plow if she was ever lost. The snow plow driver nodded and said "ok well I am done plowing the Walmart parking lot, would you like to follow me over to target now?"

The circle

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

This cop spots this blond driving

This cop spots this blond driving on the freeway knitting!

Pull Over! he yells.

No! She yells back, Cardigan!

A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop...

He says: You were going 95km/h.

The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes