Driver Licence Jokes
19 driver licence jokes and hilarious driver licence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about driver licence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Driver Licence Short Jokes
Short driver licence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The driver licence humour may include short driver license jokes also.
- What do you call someone who gets their driver's licence as soon as they can? Someone who's driven.
- I remember when I got my first drivers licence... Poor Jim Halenburg, age- 32, and s**...- Male. He never got his wallet back.
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Driver Licence One Liners
Which driver licence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with driver licence? I can suggest the ones about drivers licence and drivers license.
- What kind of driver doesn't need a licence? A screwdriver
- Why did h**... lose his drivers licence? He was too hard on the gas
Driver Licence Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about driver licence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean driving license jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make driver licence pranks.
a blonde police officer stops a blonde driver
A blonde police officer stops a blonde driver:
"You have driven too fast: let me see your driver's licence."
The blonde driver is puzzled: "What's a driver licence?"
The blonde police officer explains: "Um... you have your face on it."
The blonde driver hands the blonde police officer a mirror.
The blonde police officer looks at the mirror and salutes the blonde driver:
"Sorry, I didn't recognize you were a police officer."
A woman tells her husband she was diagnosed with cancer.
Her husband tells he's very sad and sorry for her. Once they get to bed, the wife asks:
'Honey, when I'll be... dead, will you marry someone else?' The husband thinks for a while. 'No.'
'Why not? Don't you like being married?' 'If you want me to, then yes.' 'Will she sleep in my part of the bed?' she asks mournfully. 'I guess she will.' answers the husband. 'Will you replace all my photos?' 'Of course not, I'll keep the ones I love most.' 'Will she drive my car?' 'No, she doesn't have a driver's licence.'
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde speeder
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde speeder. "Can I see your licence ma'am?"
"My what?" says the driver.
"Your licence," says the cop, "It's the little square thing that has your picture on it."
"Oh!" says the driver and hands over her compact.
The cop takes one look and says, "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. I didn't realize you were a cop."
A blonde motorist is pulled over by a blonde policewoman for speeding.
The female cop asks for the blonde's drivers licence. The blonde motorist asks 'Sorry officer, what does it look like?'
The policewoman replies 'It's a small rectangular thing with your picture on it'.
The blond gives the policewoman her make-up mirror.
The blonde cop responds with 'I think we can forget the speeding fine. I didn't realize you're a policewoman too.'
At age 4, success means not peeing in your pants
At age 12, success means having friends
At age 17, success means having a driver's licence
At age 25, success means having s**...
At age 35, success means having money
At age 45, success means having money
At age 55, success means having s**...
At age 65, success means having a driver's licence
At age 75, success means having friends
At age 85, success means not peeing in your pants.
A blonde movie star is pulled over......
The cops walks up to the car and says "driver's licence please". The blonde says "What's a driver's licence?" The cop impatiently responds, "It's that square thing with your picture on it". "Oh!," exclaims the Blonde and she pulls out a square mirror and hands it to the cop. As the cop looks at it, she scratches her head revealing long flowing golden hair*. She then hands it back and says, "Sorry for the inconvenience, I didn't realize you were a cop."
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row.
The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?"
"Of course the old woman!"
The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde driver and says, "You failed to stop at the red light.
Let me see your driver's licence." The blonde asks, "What does that look like?" The blonde cop answers, "It is rectangular and has your picture on it." The blonde looks around inside her purse and mistakes her mirror for the license. When she hands it to the blonde officer, he looks at it and replies, "Oh, I didn't know you were also an officer. You can go!"
I need advice.
My wife and I were walking back to our car thru the Wal-Mart parking lot and I saw a wallet laying on the ground.
In it was the usual stuff, business cards, drivers licence, credit cards and $200.00.
I know that if you find a wallet or purse with a something in it with an address on it,
you can drop it in any public mail box and they will deliver it to the person that lost it, which intend to do.
my dilemma is about the $200.00.
Do I tell my wife about it or keep it all to myself?
A car
A police officer stopped a car on the highway and went up to the driver. He saw the man, and said: "You've just won $1000 for wearing a seat belt! What are you going to do with your prize money?" The man thought, and said back: "Maybe go to the driving school and get my licence!" His wife told the cop: "Don't listen to him, he's a smartass when he's drunk".
All of this talking made a passenger in the back of the car wake up, and he blurted out: "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car. Why didn't you change the number plate?" A knock emerged from the trunk of the car, and the person in the trunk said: "Are we at the border yet?"
A girl ask her mom how much she weighs
The mom replies, "That is not a question you ask other people." As the girl is walking to school her friend recommends looking at her mom's drivers licence because it has all her mom's information. The girl then proceeds to look at her mom's drivers license and then reproaches her mom and says "you weigh 135lbs! And you are also 5' 6" tall." The mom replies "you're correct" the girl continues to say "I also know why daddy broke up with you!" The shocked mother then inquires how the little girl knows. The little girl says "Because you got an F in s**...!"
Police officer
A police officer stops a speeding car and approaches the driver
Police: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Driver:" Nope"
Police: "Can I see your Licence?"
Driver: "Sorry officer, it has expired"
*The officer raises an eyebrow*
Officer: "Can I see your Registration"
Driver: "You don't want to do that, this car is actually stolen"
* The officer begins to tense*
Officer: "Open up your trunk!"
Driver: "you definitely don't want to do that, there is a dead h**... in there"
The police officer calls back up. 5 policemen approach and search the car. They find no dead h**..., the car isn't stolen and the licence isn't expired.
One of the officers approaches the driver and says: "Sorry sir, there seemed to be a mistake. One of the officers said that you stole a car with an expired licence and killed a h**...."
Driver: "Yeah, I bet he told you I was speeding too"
A blonde was driving a bit too fast, and was pulled over by a female blonde cop
A blonde was driving a bit too fast, and was pulled over by a female
blonde cop.
The cop asked the woman for her driving licence. The blonde driver
fumbled through her overstuffed handbag but just couldn't find her
licence. The cop said, "C'mon ma`am, it can't be that hard to find. It's rectangular and has your picture on it."
The blonde driver continued rifling through the handbag and found
the only rectangular object in it: a small mirror. She looked in it, saw herself, shrugged, and handed it the cop.
The blonde cop took one look and said, "Why didn't you tell me
you're a cop? Have a nice day."