Driven Jokes
84 driven jokes and hilarious driven puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about driven that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the newest trend of data-driven jokes about transportation. From SUV jokes to speed puns, check out the funniest way to stay informed about the transportation industry.
Funniest Driven Short Jokes
Short driven jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The driven humour may include short drove jokes also.
- I'm looking to sell my DeLorean. Good shape, low mileage... Only driven from time to time.
- This St. Patrick's day I drank too much and had to take a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
- One time I got drunk and took the bus... Now that may not sound impressive to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
- I am trying to sell my delorean, it has low miles and is in great shape... Only driven from time to time..
- I went out drinking last night and took a bus home That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
- We should make all vehicles be driven by Stormtroopers They never hit anything so there would be no accidents.
- I got really drunk last night, so I decided to take the bus home... I've never driven a bus before!
- A man on a tractor has just driven past me shouting, The end of the world is nigh!!" I think it was Farmer Geddon.
- I was drinking at a bar so i took the bus home Seemed like a good idea at the time but i've never driven a bus before...
- Last night I got really drunk at the bar, so I took a bus home. Which might not seem like a big deal, but I've never driven a bus before.
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Driven One Liners
Which driven one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with driven? I can suggest the ones about driving and directed.
- For sale, barely used DeLorean Only driven from time to time.
- Looking to sell my delorean Good shape, low milage.
Only driven from time to time. - I think I've driven my girlfriend insane. She keeps saying "I'm seeing someone else."
- I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit It was a lamb Bikini
- I don't win Marathons because I'm lucky
I win because I'm driven. - I have a DeLorean for sale It's in great condition and only driven from time to time.
- What is a vehicle driven by people who can't wake up? A Tacoma.
- Ever driven a car with no steering wheel? It's pretty straight forward.
- Last night I was drunk so I took the train to go home I've never driven a train before
- My Taiwanese friend is very intense and driven: He has a real Taipei personality
- What is a dolphin's favorite book? The porpoise driven life.
- Desalination The only technology that has really driven the solution through
- I would have driven my date to the Mexican cantina.... But I didn't avocado
- A man is driving and hits a pole. "I knew I never should've driven in Poland!"
- Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake? It's ram a dam
Data Driven Jokes
Here is a list of funny data driven jokes and even better data driven puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my women as I like my data... Discrete, independent, driven and most importantly, Real!
Fun-Filled Driven Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about driven you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean inspired jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make driven pranks.
So the pope is SUPER EARLY for his flight
He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."
Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."
Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir."
Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."
Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."
I was at the bar last night...
I was at the bar last night and had a few drinks. I knew it was unsafe to take my car home so I took a bus. This was really difficult for me; I've never driven a bus before.
I was so drunk last weekend, that I took a cab home...
Which was weird, because I've never driven one.
A daughter is riding in a car with her elderly mother...
Her mother runs through a red light, and the daughter is concerned her mom may be too old to drive but chooses not to say anything. A few minutes go by, and her mother runs through a second red light. The daughter becomes increasingly worried. As tactfully as possible she asks, "Mom, do you realize you've driven through two red lights just now?" The mother replied, "Oh! Am I driving?"
Pirate jokes I've heard throughout my life
What did the pirate say when the steering wheel was shoved down his pants?
ARGHHHHH your driven me nuts!
Why was the pirate dissatisfied with his blind date?
She had a sunken chest and no b**....
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They can spend years stuck at sea!
And of course: Why couldn't the teenagers watch the pirate movie?
BECAUSE IT WAS RATED ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
I am really proud of my self this morning..
Last night I went out with my colleagues for New Year party.
After drinking a tad too many than I could handle, I made a sensible decision to leave car at the pub and take the bus home.
I am really proud of my self this morning, I had never driven a bus before!
One woman stops a taxi....
"To the airport, please." After a few minutes, the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says, "You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today." She says, "Are you kidding me? I am not pregnant." "Well, you haven't arrived at the airport yet, either.
Did you hear about the goal-oriented cashews?
They were driven nuts.
What do you call a hard working man from whose chauffeur is from seoul?
Korea driven.
Got Drunk
Went out with some friends last night and tied one on.
Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have never done before.
I took a bus home. I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really surprising
as I have never driven a bus before.
What is globalization?
Question : What is globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death
Question : How come?
Answer :
An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a
Canadian, using
Bill Gates' technology which he got from the
Japanese.
And you are probably reading this on
one of the IBM clones that use
Philippine-made chips, and
Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries
driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally
sold to you by a Chinese!
I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home.
That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before
A pirate crew is fleeing from a whaling ship
One pirate swabbie asks, "This be the whaling ship driven by the w**... with two vaginas?"
The pirate says, "Aye, we best be wary of har poons."
When Jimmy Fallon started hosting The Tonight Show, Conan called him up to offer some advice...
The first thing he said was:
"Kill your enemies and see them driven before you..."
I gave up my seat for an old lady on the bus today and we later crashed.
How the heck was I meant to know that she'd never driven a bus before?!
The last time I was this drunk I had to take a bus home...
Which isn't really a big deal, but I've never driven a bus before.
I usually get drunk
Most if not all of these times i have had trouble with the police.So last time I took a bus home
This was surprising to me because I haven't driven a bus before
A rich guy and his wife both died and their caskets were driven in separate cars...
His and Hearse.
I really shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night.
Especially since I walked there
Last night I drank a little too much so I took a bus home.
This may not sound like a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
I don't want to just get motivated. I want to be driven.
Like, literally, I want to recline in the passenger seat while someone is driving me to my goals.
ISIS has been finally driven away from Raqqa!
Guess they gotta change their name to WASWAS now...
What do you call someone who gets their driver's licence as soon as they can?
Someone who's driven.
A man drives a car and runs over a woman. Who is to blame?
The man, he shouldn't have driven into the kitchen.
a blonde police officer stops a blonde driver
A blonde police officer stops a blonde driver:
"You have driven too fast: let me see your driver's licence."
The blonde driver is puzzled: "What's a driver licence?"
The blonde police officer explains: "Um... you have your face on it."
The blonde driver hands the blonde police officer a mirror.
The blonde police officer looks at the mirror and salutes the blonde driver:
"Sorry, I didn't recognize you were a police officer."
My car rear-ended a car driven by a dwarf.
He said, "I''m not happy." I replied, "Which one are you then?"
Jesus saw a crying old man while walking in a desert.
He came closer and asked what problem is.
Old man: I'm looking for my son, but I'm gonna lose my hope.
Jesus pitied the man and said, let's look for your son together.
After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
Yes, said the old man. He had nails driven on his hands and feet.
Jesus started and hugged the man, saying FATHER!
The old man screamed happily, PINOCCHIO!
What did the pirate say when he got a steering wheel stuck in his pants
Argh! Yer driven me nuts.
I'm surprised my car started right up this morning...
...I haven't driven it since last year!
A truck driver sees a n**... man tied to a tree off to the side of the road.
He pulls his rig to the side and approaches the man. The man says to him, "Oh, thank God you're here. I pulled into a gas station to get some gas. I was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my car and then driven here. Then they stripped me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and drove off."
The truck driver shook his head, lowered his fly and said, "This just isn't your day, is it."
I hate how nostalgia driven pop culture is.
People were never this nostalgic when I was a kid.
When Jesus was resurrected, an angel escorted him to Heaven in a flying car
As the car ascended to the skies, it suddenly stalled and fell.
One of the disciples looked up and said, "Guess he shouldn't have driven emmanuel."
A general is being driven in a jeep through the desert on the way to a training exercise.
Out in the middle of nowhere, the jeep breaks down. The female jeep driver jumps out, opens the hood and starts working on the engine. The general, wanting to be helpful, finds a toolbox in the back and opens it. "Do you want a screwdriver?" he asks.
"Might as well, it's going to be a while before anyone shows up," she says!
I just saw a sports car being driven by a s**... clad sheep....
It was a lamb-bikini.
Why did Doc get such a good selling price on the Delorean?
It was only driven from time to time
I heard germany is going to make robot driven cars i**... in their highways
It's going to be called auto-ban
I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers...
... and then topped it off with a margarita. Not a good idea.
Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi home.
Sure enough I passed a police road block but because it was a taxi, they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise.
I have never driven a taxi before, and I'm not sure where I got it.
They had us in the first half not gonna lie.
I was drinking at a bar so i took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you but i've never driven a bus before...
I went to a bar for a New Year's celebration and took a cab home.
I went to a bar for a New Year's celebration and took a cab home. Came upon a DUI checkpoint, and when they saw the cab, they just waved us pass. After a while I made it home safely, which is surprising because I've never driven a cab.
(Really happened) went to the doctors with my wife Claire
The nurse asked if she had an "I". I said she has 2 otherwise she couldn't have driven us here.
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean? Great condition, low mileage..
and really only driven from time to time...
I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito, either. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips, thanks to my friends and family.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I'm not much on physical activity.
