Dripping Jokes
48 dripping jokes and hilarious dripping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dripping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dripping Short Jokes
Short dripping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dripping humour may include short drizzle jokes also.
- As a plumber's assistant, I'm always being ordered around... "Stop that dripping, plug that leak, for God's sake... turn off the water works!" It's not my fault, I'm just an emotional guy.
- -Have you heard of Murphy's Law \-Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong
\-What's about Cole's law?
\-No
\-It's a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream - There's a pair of twins, Ivan and Oliver Peterson. They both became doctors. Not medical doctors, but doctors in meteorology.
They study the rain. You know,
Dr.I.P.
Dr.O.P. - I have a drip on my shoe from when I was eating a gyro in Europe. I'm calling it a Greece stain.
- Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.
- I phoned in sick the other day... "I've got to go see a doctor about my foot"
"What's wrong with your foot?"
"Something keeps dripping on it"
- What is hard and dry before it gets in, and comes out soft and dripping? A cookie in your tea, you pervert!
- One big nose said to the other big nose...."Um I think something is dripping out of you..." And the nose replied, "NO it is snot"!!
- What's the difference between a hippie and a chemist? One does acid trips, the other does acid drips.
- I had a feeling my nurse was new on the job when she came in and hung 4 bags on the drip pole.
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Dripping One Liners
Which dripping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dripping? I can suggest the ones about dropping and dribbling.
- Why does ISIS only drink drip coffee? Because they hate French Press!
- I got some really cool clothing for my tonsils Now I have post-nasal drip
- They call me gonorrhea... Because I got that drip
- What is the tastiest liquid in a fruit? The IV Drip
- How do you stop a dishwasher from dripping? Hand her a towel.
- My son asked me where he could find pork dripping.
- I'm Hungary... For some Turkey dripping in Greece.
- What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk. - The Chow mei noodles were dripping... There was a leek in the dish.
- Boy, you make me like an ice cream cone on a hot day. Dripping.
- Why did the boy drip his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
- What do you call the process of creatively making drip coffee? Arts and carafes.
- The Italian faucet.... When it drips it goes wopwopwopwopwopwopwopwop.
- Whats red and dripping down the chip shop window? Abortion of chips.
- I like my women like my pancakes. Stacked and dripping.
Howlingly Hilarious Dripping Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about dripping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dipping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dripping pranks.
Why do c**... drip into belly b**...?
It's sea men trying to get to the navel base.
Two bats...
were in a cave thirsty for blood. One bat looks to the other and says, "I'm going to look for blood, stay here I'll be back".
He flies out of the cave and returns after a long time with blood dripping out of his mouth.
Excited, the other bat asks him "Where did you find so much blood??".
The other bat says, "you go out of this cave and turn left".
"Yes", replied the other bat, excitedly.
"Then you see a tree"
"Yeah"
"Well, I didn't".
Three apprentice vampire bats
Three apprentice vampire bats are taken out to a farm and told to get as much blood as they can find by their teacher. 15 minutes go by and the first vampire bay returns with a little bit of blood on his teeth.
'Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? That's where I got it.' the bat replied.
Shortly after the second vampire bat returns with blood dripping from his snout.
Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? That's where I got it.' the second bat replied.
Some time later the third bat returns with his whole face caked in blood.
Where did you get that blood!' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? Do you see that wall beyond the cow? I didn't.'
A penguin has some car trouble...
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
Two vampires walk into a bar
Two vampires sit down at a bar. The first vampire orders a glass of blood but the second one just asks for a cup of hot water.
The first vampire is surprised by this and remarks "Just water? Are you feeling alright?"
The second vampire waves him off and pulls a dripping t**... from his coat pocket "Yes yes I'm just in the mood for some tea!"
Two bats are going for their midnight feed
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
I like the way you think
Roses are red. nuts are brown.
Skirts go up. pants go down.
Body to body. skin to skin.
When it's stiff. stick it in.
It goes in dry. It comes out wet.
The longer it's in. The stronger it gets.
It comes out dripping. And it starts to sag.
It's not what you think. It's a tea bag.
A short man walks into a bar
Upon walking in, something drips on him from the ceiling. He looks up and sees a piece of steak. He asks the bartender why there's a steak on the ceiling.
The bartender tells him if he could jump up and touch the steak, he gets free drinks for the rest of the night. If he misses, he pays for everyone's drink.
The man looks at the steak, then back at the bartender and says....
'The steaks are too high.'
Guy walks into a bar and says I need 6 shots of Jack quick!...quicker... Hurry d**...!!!
Come on man, you'd be drinking quick too, if you had what I have!!!
So the bartender offers up the shots 'If you don't mind me asking... What is that you have?'
Man looks him in the eye, whiskey dripping off his chin and says... 40 cents.
A student asks his teacher if he can go to the bathroom
"You can go to the bathroom after you recite the alphabet," replies the teacher.
The student recites the alphabet: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z"
"Where's the 'P'"? asks the teacher.
"Dripping down my leg."
Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think...
Its a teabag
A young student asks his teacher....
Teacher, may I go to the bathroom?
The teacher replies, Sure, but first you must recite your ABC's.
The kid then stands up and recites, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ
The teacher then says, where is the P?
And the kid replies, It's dripping down my leg.
A boy reads a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free free French fries.
Sounds great! said the health conscious boy, as he ordered some.
He watched as a the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them in the box.
Wait a minute, those don't look fat free!
They sure are, the cook said. We only charge for the potatoes, the fat is free.
Old men and their bathroom problems (Long)
Three men are sitting around the table at their nursing home talking about bathroom issues because of age. The first guy says.
"At 6 every morning I try and s**.... But I am so constipated it takes an hour." The second man speaks up.
"Every morning at 7 I try and p**.... But it is slow and just drips out." The 3rd man says.
"I have you both beat. Every Morning at 6 I take a huge c**.... must be a pound of turns there. Then at 7 I p**... heavy. must be a gallon of p**...." The other two men look confused.
"Why is that bad."
"I dont get out of bed until 9."
Valetine's in 2022
Roses are red, nuts are brown, skirts go up, pants go down.
Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in.
The longer it's in, the stronger it gets, it goes in dry and comes out wet.
It comes out dripping, and starts to sag, it's not what you think......
Its a teabag!
A kid gets out of his seat to leave class
"I'll be right back."
He's known for being a bit of a troublemaker, but the teacher can't deny him if he needs the restroom. The teacher says, "Alright, you can go. But first, spell today's vocabulary word, 'pterodactyl'."
He spells out, "T-E-R-O-D-A-C-T-Y-L."
She says to him, "Good job. However, you left out the P. Because it's silent?"
"Yeah," he goes, "and it's dripping down my pants."
Fat Free French Fries
A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries.
Sounds great, said the health-conscious boy.
He ordered some.
He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.
Wait a minute, the boy said. Those don't look fat-free.
Sure they are, the cook said. We charge only for the potatoes. The fat is free!
Roses are red, nuts are brown
Skirts go up, pants go down.
Body to body, skin to skin.
When it's stiff, just stick it in.
It goes in dry and comes out wet and the longer it's in, the stronger it gets.
It comes out dripping and It starts to sag.
Nothing to enjoy more on Sundays than a Lipton tea bag :-)
A man walks into a bar...
...wearing a hospital gown and attached to an IV drip.
He asks the barman to give him a double v**... on the rocks.
Barman passes him one and he necks it back.
He asks the barman for another double v**... on the rocks.
Barman passes him another and he necks it back.
'I really shouldn't be drinking this with what I have,' the man says.
'What do you have?' the barman says.
'50 cents,' the man says.
A man was in a horrible car accident
A man wakes up in the ICU with a nurse standing over him. He has tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and he's in terrible pain.
He asks the nurse "What happened?".
The nurse give him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then tells him, "You were in a horrible accident. You may not feel anything from the waist down right now."
The man replies "Can I feel your t**... then?"
An old lady walks into an Apple store with a dripping wet MacBook in hand.
She finds an employee and tells him that her MacBook wouldn't turn on after she cleaned it. The employee looks at the MacBook and sees that it's soaking wet.
Ma'am did you wash it with water? He asks.
Yes but I don't think that's what killed it. Replied the old lady.
Than what killed it? Asked the employee very confused.
The Spin Cycle.
A man comes home from his morning run to find his roommate holding a dripping newspaper over the sink...
"What happened?"
"I was going to make an omelette for breakfast, but I dropped the eggs on my newspaper! The front page is soaked, but I'm trying to clean the sports section, it got the worst of it.'
"No, it didn't," says the man ominously.
"What? How do you know?"
"The real yolk is always in the comics."
Today I met an incontinent hippie on l**....
He had a bad drip.
