Drinking Water Jokes
41 drinking water jokes and hilarious drinking water puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drinking water that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Drinking Water Short Jokes
Short drinking water jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drinking water humour may include short bottled water jokes also.
- If you're depressed, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
- 9 out of 10 doctors reccommend for children to drink water instead of soda that 1 doctor lives in flint michigan
- Don't drink water while studying... Why?
Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.
Note: My first attempt. Thanks. - A fox, a wolf and a weasel all go to a restaurant. The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink.
"Water" says the Fox,
"Coffee" growls the wolf,
And "Pop!" Goes the Weasel! - If a cup has had holy water in it, a vampire should never drink from it again. There's too much risk of cross contamination.
- today i mixed holy water and prune juice to make a new drink it gave me a religious movement
- Heard a vintage 2011 today. The Navy Seals just invented a new drink, the "bin Laden". Two shots to the face and a splash of water.
- What crime is committed when you drink a glass of ice water, but use your lips to keep the ice from leaving the glass, only to let the water through? Obstruction of just ice.
- My friend in Africa was complaining about the lack of drinking water in his village. So I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
- Leading a horse to water is easy. How do you make a horse drink? Put it in a blender with some ice.
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Drinking Water One Liners
Which drinking water one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drinking water? I can suggest the ones about water bottles and drinking coffee.
- H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.
- Two reasons I don't drink toilet water. No.1
No.2 - Never drink water while studying It'll dilute your concentration
- There's a new drink called the Sandy It's a watered down Manhattan.
- Drinking water in africa hashtag nofilter
- I don't get why some people only drink carbonated water. The alternative is still water.
- How does Stalin drink water? Gulag gulag gulag.
- How do mansplainers drink water? From a well, actually...
- A Muslim walks into a bar.. ..and orders water, coz he can drink now.
*Eid Mubarak* - What kind of water does a feminist drink? Fiji water, because it's untouched by man
- Black humor is like drinking water It's not for everybody
- Jesus turned water into wine Now I drink it to make a 6 look like a 9
- My mum thinks I drink too much water. She called me an aquaholic
- What is Bruce Lee's favourite drink? Water.
- My pee is lying about not drinking enough water. I can see right through it.
Amusing Drinking Water Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about drinking water you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sparkling water jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drinking water pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you suffer from an addiction to water?
Can you not live without your water?
Do you try to quit, and come back to drinking water again?
Do you suffer from any of the following withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit?
* Headache?
* Fatigue?
* Dry t**...?
* Dry mouth?
* Darker u**...?
* Craving more water?
* Hunger?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, please call the water addiction hotline, 1-5-STOP-WATER.
A Doctor was addressing a large audience.
The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake.
Have you ever stopped and realized drinking water through a straw is . . .
the opposite of snorkeling.
For some reason, I like drinking water more than most people do.
I guess it's just in my blood.
I always have a problem with drinking water
I just don't get the solution
Queen Victoria didn't do such a good job keeping drinking water away from toilet water...
but it was still frowned upon to cholera fool.
Always say Bismillah before drinking water.
There are 3 jinns in your cup.
Two Hydrojinns and one Oxyjinn.
2030's kids won't get this...
Drinking water.
When Russians visit Mexico
What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico?
Trotsky's Revenge
I stopped drinking water while studying chemistry
My notes say adding water decreases concentration
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How are vegans okay with drinking water?
They can't eat meat, but they can just destroy a fish's home for a glass of water?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Serious] what are the serious impacts of drinking water just after you had had a w**...?
Bad Diet
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami, Florida.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old man in the front row, raised his hand and said, "Wedding Cake?"
So this guy is drinking water right,
and so I say "WATER you doing?"
Bad foods to eat
A doctor tells a group of patients, "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An old man raises his hand and says, "Wedding cake."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
o**... walks in to bar
He sats in the middle of two guys drinking water and he tells nothing.
Despite how vital drinking water is....
I always turn my nose up at it.
The one good thing about Hurricane Patricia
Clean Drinking water falling from the sky for Mexico!!
Awful food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in New York..
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
"Wedding Cake."
I never shower.
My mother always told me that drinking water cleanses the body.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tie Salesman
A fleeing criminal, desperate to escape the police, runs into the desert with hardly any water. Very soon, he runs out of drinking water, and hours later, he is already plodding under the merciless desert sun.
He is close to desperation when suddenly sees something far off in the distance. Hoping against hope that it is water, he starts running towards what he thinks is an oasis, only to find a little old man with a little stand, full of ties.
'Hey you, do you have water?' Pants the criminal.
The old man replied, 'I have already finished my water, but would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.'
The criminal, frustrated shouted, 'you m**...! Do I look like I need a tie? I should kill you right here, but I have to find some water first!"
'There's no call for threats,' said the old tie seller indignantly, 'but even though you don't want to buy one of my ties and you treat me like this, I'll help you. If you continue over that hill for about 3 miles, you'll find a restaurant with great food and all the ice cold water you can drink. Good luck!"
Muttering in disgust, the criminal staggered away over the hill. Several hours later the other man sees him crawling on the dune back towards him. When he finally arrives, he lays on his back, panting.
"Everything ok?" Asked the tie salesman as he bends over to hear the raspy whisper of the other man.
"They won't let me in without a tie..."
Lethal Food
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"
"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa..
'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'