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Drinkin Jokes

97 drinkin jokes and hilarious drinkin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drinkin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Drinkin Jokes

Short drinkin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drinkin humour may include short drinker jokes also.

  1. Why did Abraham Lincoln die? Because he kept Abraham Drinkin'.
    It's funny because he was shot.

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Drinkin joke, Why did Abraham Lincoln die?


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about drinkin can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of drinkin puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Drinkin One Liners

Which drinkin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drinkin? I can suggest the ones about whiskey and fer.

  1. I'm fishin' and drinkin' tonight. My daughter's fish died.

Drinkin joke, I'm fishin' and drinkin' tonight.

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Drinkin Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about drinkin you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean hick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make drinkin prank.

Did you know drinking beer makes you smart?

It made Bud wiser.

drinking

A guy says to his friend "Man, I feel terrible. Last night I drank too much, came home and blew chunks."
Friend says "aw don't worry mate, that happens to all of us"
Guy says "you don't understand; my dog's name is 'Chunks'"

A guy moves into a new neighborhood...

And a r**... knocks on the door. The guy opens and the r**... says "howdy neighbor! welcome to the neighborhood! Tonight I'm gona throw a party in your honor - there's gona be a whole lot of dancin, a whole lot of drinkin and a whole lot of screwin!"
The guy replies "sounds great! What should I bring?" The r**... replies "wellp - you can bring whatever you want, it's just gona be you and me"

Have you been drinking sir?

"Been drinking tonight sir?" The policeman asked.
"I had one earlier, but that was all," I replied.
"I think you've had a few more than that sir. Would you step out of the van please."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because the Postman Pat ride isn't really designed for adults and there's children waiting for their go."

Drinking problems

So a guy comes to the police station,
Hello - says the police officer - you are here for a drinking problem correct?
The man replies : What me? drinking problem? no officer I have no drinking problem, I was drinking all night, no problems so far.

New Drinking Age in Alabama

They raised the drinking age to 32 in Alabama to keep alcohol out of high schools.

Why is drinking American beer like making love in a canoe?

What's a drinking game you can play by yourself?

Alcoholism

New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot.

I call it the Ferguson

There's a new drinking game...

You draw a random card from a deck & if it's black you take a shot....
We call it "Ferguson"

The drinking age in Alabama has changed to 25

Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school

Why should you never go drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.

Sometimes when I go out drinking...

...and hit on girls, they call me ugly. That is, until I tell them how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
(original joke that a friend just came up with)

DRINKING BUDDIES

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City and both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and asks, "So where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!"
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"
"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender."It's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."

I was drinking at a bar so i took the bus home

Seemed like a good idea at the time but i've never driven a bus before...

I Have a serious drinking problem.

I dont have a drink in my hand!

I'm done drinking for good...

Now I drink for Evil.

Drinking water in africa

hashtag nofilter

I was drinking my favorite liquor the other night...

...while sitting in front of my fireplace. I was feeling a pretty good buzz when all of a sudden I began to hallucinate, and out from the top of the fireplace sprung the disembodied head of Jane Fonda! Normally I would find this odd, but you know what they say:
Absinthe makes the hearth grow Fonda.

How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?

You've had whey too much!

New drinking game:

Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, c**... someone else's beer.

So I was drinking this vampire's blood the other day

It was irony.

Drinking

Remember, it isn't drinking alone when you're pregnant.

Despite my drinking, I can honestly say I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman

But man I've woke up with a few.

So I'm drinking in a bar...

... And the waitress yells 'help! Does anyone know CPR?!'
So I say 'Hell I know the whole alphabet!'
So everyone laughs.
Except this o**....

-What are you drinking, son?

-Soy milk.
-Hola milk, soy tu padre.
Edit : Removed the "es" that was bothering everyone

I don't think I have a drinking problem

I find it incredibly easy to drink!

Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail?

It was important not to fall off the wagon.

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

I was drinking a margarita at the bar....

And a woman screamed "Does anyone know cpr?!"
I replied that i knew the whole alphabet, we laughed and laughed.....well except for o**....

I have a drinking problem..

I need more booze

I was drinking gin for the first time when I realized...

I'm not supposed to lose my ginity until I'm married

I used to have a drinking problem.

I still do, but I used to, too.

Drinking is a slow death

..It is okay. I am in no hurry.

'Doctor, I have a drinking problem!'

'I'm always drunk whenever I'm traveling between countries!'
Doctor - 'Sounds like you're a borderline alcoholic.'

I don't think drinking v**... is the solution to all of my problems...

But it's worth a shot.

So, I just tried a new drinking game.

I put in the bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.
Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.

I went out drinking last night and took a bus home

That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.

I used to think drinking alcohol was bad for me...

So I gave up thinking.

I'm drinking some pretty average tea...

It's Mediocritea.

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister

It tastes the same but it's just not right.

They say drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister.

I wouldn't know because I've never drank non-alcoholic beer.

Drinking beer without alcohol is like eating out your sister...

tastes right, but trust me: its wrong!

I don't have a drinking problem

'Cept when I don't have alcohol

Drinking alcohol is like calculus.

You have to know your limits.

Did you know that drinking the fluid in a magic 8-ball will let you see the future?

I actually have a friend who tried it. He said "I'm going to die" and he was right.

You know what they say about drinking too much tequila...

Can't remember.

I don't have a drinking problem!

I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem!

I've got a drinking problem.

Sometimes beer spills out the sides of my mouth when I drink.

Drinking alcohol free beer is the same as going down on your sister

It tastes the same, but feels wrong

Here's a new drinking Came. It's called Going Irish.

You take 10 rounds of shots and then you pass out.

Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife

"To my wife, the love of my life, and the sexiest woman I know. But it's too bad only one of those three is here tonight!"
There was a burst of laughter from the crowd, but Frank's wife took it in stride, raising here glass for a toast of her own.
"To my husband, a good provider, and the father of my children. Too bad only one of those could make it."

Whenever I'm out drinking I flip a coin

If it lands on heads, I get another drink, if it lands on tails, I flip the coin again

I'm going to keep drinking draft beer...

...until they get it right

If you see someone drinking a Sierra Mist, punch them straight in the face...

...that's the first rule of Sprite Club.

I'm not drinking anything this Christmas...

Under 40% ABV.

They say drinking milk makes you stronger...

So I drank a carton of milk, and then I tried to push my fridge and it didn't even budge.
Frustrated, I decided to drink a bottle of v**..., and guess what happened?
The fridge moved itself

Drinking tea is bad for you.

Tea is more dangerous than beer. You should avoid it, and just say NO.
I discovered this last night. I had drunk 14 beers, until 3:00 am at the pub, while my wife was sitting at home, drinking tea.
You should have seen how angry and violent she was when I got home.
I was peaceful, silent, and heading to bead as she shouted at me... All Night Long. Even into the next morning!
Please, ladies.... If you can't handle your tea, then just don't drink it!

I've got a drinking problem.

I just ran out of beer.

I was out drinking with a friend and saw two old drunks across the bar. I said, that's totally going to be us in 10 years.

He said, that's a mirror, d**....

If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, what does drinking Fanta make you?

diabetic

I have a drinking problem and I need help.

If Bob has drunk 2 cups of orange juice and Steve has drunk 3, and each cup has the juice of 4 oranges, how many oranges did the buy?

You know you might have a drinking problem...

When you go to the doctor and he informs you that they found traces of blood in your alcohol stream

They say I got a drinking problem

But I ain't got no problem drinking at all

Drinking brandy always reminds my of my Grandmother

She never touched the stuff, but she's Very Special, Old and Pale.

I was drinking at a bar and watching my buddies struggle to score for a couple of hours.

I think I am ready for World Cup Soccer.

I don't have a drinking problem

I have a drinking solution. It allows me talk to the opposite s**....

I went drinking with a human centipede

The first guy could hold his liquor.
The rest if them got completely s**....

You say I have a drinking problem...

But I won't let you ruin my Tuesday morning buzz.

When I was drinking my coffee, I heard on the radio that caffeine causes memory loss.

Yeah, right. Next time, they're probably gonna say that caffeine causes memory loss.

Drinking alcohol-free beer..

..is like giving o**... s**... to your sister. The taste is the same, but deep inside, you know that something is terribly wrong.

Drinking can cause memory loss...or even worse

Memory loss

Drinking hot coffee in thin plastic cups reduces men's s**... performance by 80%!

It burns tongue and fingers!

Why do elephants paint their toenails red.

A: To hide in the cherry trees!
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?? Then I guess it works!
(As told by my mid-70s, overall wearin, Southern Comfort drinkin neighbor.)

I used to be into drinking p**... and other bad stuff until my parents yelled at me...

They said "You're not supposed to drink it, s**...."

You *know* you have a drinking problem...

When even the American Bar Association suggests you should be investigated by the FBI...

Went out drinking with some friends last night and saw a woman in full church garb getting absolutely plastered.

Weirdest thing I've ever seen, bar nun.

Me after drinking 6 shots

brain: What are you doing?
liver: What are you doing?
stomach: What are you doing?
me to my ex: What are you doing?

If drinking alcohol causes memory loss,

what does drinking alcohol do?

Can drinking bleach really kill you? We asked our listeners to try it out and none of them called back to tell me they're dead so I think not

One of my fav quote from C&H

Why is drinking alcohol gay?

Because when you are drunk, you can't think straight.

I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...

Wow, this is ledge 'n dairy!

jokes about drinkin

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these drinkin jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.